


and now for something completely different

by brandywine421



Category: The OC
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:26:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 129,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reposting from LJ by request.  Completely AU.</p><p>This is the fic where Ryan is Kirsten and Jimmy's illegitimate child from when they were in high school. Seth, Summer, Marissa and other assorted canon characters are kidlets and assorted short-term canon characters are in this universe as their canon ages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting this here from my LJ for marvinmuse who requested it. Originally posted in 2006-07. Wow this was a whopper but I remember how much fun it was to play in this sandbox. Surprised and flattered that its still remembered.

_Mom?” Kirsten called, blinking away the haze of the drugs.  He hands went automatically to her stomach, but the mound that she’d become used to in the past few months…was gone._   
  
_“I’m here, Kiki. How do you feel?”_   
  
_“Where’s my baby?” she asked, searching her mother’s face._   
  
_Her mom frowned, but her eyes were kind.  “They took him, Kirsten. You knew they were going to take him.”_   
  
_“It was a boy?” she whispered, unable to fight the tears._   
  
_Her mom flushed, clearly having not meant to mention that._   
  
_“I don’t understand, Mom…why I couldn’t keep him. Jimmy loves me and we have money…” Kirsten started._   
  
_“Hush now, you know that was out of the question.  You have to graduate and go to college. You’re not ready to be a mother.  You have given another family a wonderful blessing. Just close your eyes and things will be better soon,” her mom soothed, brushing the hair out of her eyes._   
  
_Kirsten didn’t think she’d ever forgive her parents for this.  She didn’t think she’d ever forgive herself for being too scared to stand up to them._   
  


* * *

  
  
_**15 years later:**_  
  
“Ma?” Ryan called quietly, pushing open the door to his house.  He was relieved when no one answered and closed the door behind him, still being quiet as he started across the living room to his room.  
  
He let out a tired sigh when he made it to his bedroom, closing the door and sliding the chair under the door.  He glanced over in the corner where his brother’s belongings were sitting on his stripped bed.  Trey had gotten arrested over the weekend and Ryan was planning on bringing him some of his things up to the jail when he managed to borrow a car.  
  
He knew he should have gone with his brother that night, but instead he’d went to his job at the local diner and took an extra shift.  When he’d gotten home, he’d faced the wrath of his mom’s boyfriend who seemed disappointed that he hadn’t been arrested, too, just to get him out of his hair.  
  
He wished he could go over to Teresa’s and chill out, but she was courting Eddie heavily and he didn’t have anywhere to go other than his house to catch his breath.  
  
He pulled the folded report card out of his pocket, signing his mom’s name on the bottom.  He barely glanced at the permission slip inside for the soccer team.  He knew better than to push his luck and he couldn’t afford to play soccer and keep his job.  He had to choose and soccer, unfortunately, didn’t pay enough to keep food in his stomach and cigarettes in his pocket.  
  
He stretched out on his bed, folding his hands behind his head, careful not to aggravate his sore and bruised ribs from AJ’s welcome the night before.  He’d had to hand over his paycheck, but managed to hold onto his tips and had a little money.  
  
He hated being 15.  When he was 16, he could drop out of school and get a full time job.  Maybe get out of his mom’s house since she could care less where he was when she had money.  
  
The phone was ringing in the living room, but he knew better than to leave the safety of his room after getting home.  He didn’t need AJ to remind him of his place again.  He closed his eyes and started planning his escape through the window so he could make it to work on time tonight.  
  


* * *

  
  
Sandy stroked his son’s head affectionately, appreciating that he was finally resting peacefully despite his trying day.  
  
“Sandy, the doctor’s ready to talk to us,” Kirsten said, stepping in and smiling when she saw him sitting with Seth.  
  
“Be right back, kiddo,” Sandy whispered, kissing Seth on his bare forehead and following her into the hallway.  
  
They’d wanted a child desperately and Seth had been a blessing in every way, full of life and energy.  Until he turned 9.  They’d first assumed that he was moping because of their move to Newport from Berkeley but after several trips to the pediatrician, they found out that Seth had leukemia.  It had been nonstop regiments of chemotherapy and radiation ever since.  
  
“Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, your son needs a bone marrow transplant, as I’ve explained before.  It’s the best chance he has of making a full recovery since the chemo’s not working as well as we hoped,” Dr. Jenkins explained slowly.  
  
Kirsten reached out and squeezed his hand, not letting her desperation show.  “All of my family has been tested, Doctor, is there a match?”  
  
“I’m sorry, but neither you nor Sandy matches. Neither does your father or your sister. We’re going to try and find a partial match through the national database, but…”  
  
Sandy heard the doubt in the doctor’s words.  “Doctor, what else can we do?”  
  
“Unless one of you is hiding a child somewhere, all we can do is wait until we get a match,” the doctor said.  “Excuse me.”  
  
Sandy turned to Kirsten but was surprised by the tears streaming down her face.  “Honey, we knew this was a possibility – why are you so upset?”  
  
She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.  “Oh, Sandy…”  
  


* * *

  
  
Her voice was shaking when she finished telling Sandy her story.  It had been 15 years since she’d let herself admit that she had a child.  Jimmy Cooper’s child.  Hell, he didn’t even know.  As far as she knew, nobody knew outside of her father and dead mother.  
  
“You never thought of telling me?” Sandy asked, trying and failing to hide the hurt in his voice.  
  
“Sandy…”  
  
“This child could save Seth’s life and you didn’t think I’d want to know?”  
  
She didn’t even try to come up with an excuse, turning away from him.  
  
“Kirsten…”  
  
“I let my parents take him from me – I didn’t even put up a fight. Maybe I deserve this…”  she whispered as he put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from leaving.  She just wanted to go home and cry herself unconscious.  
  
“Kirsten…”  
  
“He could be dead for all I know…” she whispered.  
  
Sandy put his arms around her and she let herself lean against him, not sensing anger now. “Oh, honey…”  
  
“I’m sorry…I’ve never told anyone…I don’t even know what happened to him, whether he was given to a good family, if he was healthy, if he’s a good kid…I don’t know anything, Sandy, except that I had a child when I was seventeen.  April 21st is his birthday.”  
  
Sandy was silent, rubbing her back.  Finally, he spoke.  “You know we’re going to have to find him, don’t you?”  
  
“For Seth…if he can help Seth…” Kirsten replied, not admitting how much she ached to meet her other son.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Damn, Ryan, what happened to your face?” the coach asked as Ryan walked into his office after school.  
  
“I keep forgetting that my face is not approved as a brake for my bike,” Ryan replied, shrugging as the older man frowned at him.  
  
“Did you get the slip signed? We really need your legs on our team this year if we want to have a chance at beating those uppity Newport kids.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Coach,” Ryan said.  “I don’t think I can play this year.”  
  
Coach stood up and walked around the desk, sitting on the edge so he was closer to Ryan.  “You sure?”  
  
“Yeah. I work down at the diner…” Ryan started, feeling bad about lying.  
  
“I know, kid, I’ve tipped you before.  But you should still be able to find some time to have some fun, play some sports.”  
  
“I know, I should be able to, but I can’t.  I really need the money right now,” Ryan said.  
  
“I heard about Trey.  I’m sorry, kid,” the man said.  
  
“Thanks.  If I can keep a job, maybe I won’t follow in his footsteps,” Ryan replied, standing up.  “Maybe I’ll stop by practice sometimes if I’m not working, making sure you aren’t too rough on the guys.”  
  
“You do that,” Coach said, watching him walk out before letting out his sigh.  He hated watching the best kids end up like Ryan.  But he had a good feeling about the kid, he had a good head on his shoulders and if he kept in line, Coach only hoped that he wouldn’t end up in Juvie.  
  
Ryan stowed his bag and grabbed his work shirt out of his locker, ignoring Teresa’s frown from across the hall.  He slammed the door and spun the lock before starting outside.  
  
“Ry, wait up,” she called, but he didn’t stop.  He had to catch the bus or else he’d have to walk and he hated going to work all sweaty from walking the 10 blocks.  “Hey!” she said, grabbing his arm and spinning him around.  “Is this how it’s going to be now?”  
  
He stared her down, not letting her words get to him.  “’ _Stay the fuck out of my life_ ’, I think were the last words you said to me. There may have been some ‘go to hell’s’ in there, too, but I don’t think I’m paraphrasing,” he said coldly.  
  
“Ryan, I’m sorry…”  
  
“I don’t care,” he said, turning around and spotting the bus turning the corner.  He took off in a jog, leaving Teresa on the steps.  Out of his life, just like she wanted.  
  
Girlfriends, brothers, friends – they all ended up screwing him over in the end.  He was better off on his own.  
  


* * *

  
  
Sandy sat down across from Caleb and tried not to punch the old man in the nose.  He’d always hated the man, hated the way he manipulated Kirsten into moving home to take care of her dying mother.  Hated the way he manipulated Kirsten into running the Newport Group.  Hated the way he treated Kirsten.  But now, he hated him even more for what he’d done to Kirsten as a teenager.  
  
“What’s the occasion? How’s Seth?” Caleb asked, worry evident in his eyes for his grandson.  
  
Sandy had to wonder if he had any compassion for his firstborn grandson.  “You arranged the adoption of Kirsten’s first child.”  
  
Caleb didn’t react, but he put his pen down and closed his laptop.  “I have no idea what you are talking about.”  
  
“You damned well do know what I’m talking about.  Seth needs a bone marrow transplant.  We don’t match, you don’t match.  This…child – he could match.”  
  
“You’re making up stories,” Caleb said coldly.  
  
Sandy stood up and leaned over the desk.  “You took Kirsten’s first child from her.  And I’ll be damned if I’ll let your stubbornness cost her Seth’s life, too.”  
  
Caleb stared him down, not reacting.  Finally, he leaned back and pulled a key out of his desk and then stood up, going to a wall safe and pulling out a small folder and placing it in Sandy’s hands.  
  
“What’s this?” Sandy asked.  
  
“His name’s Ryan.  He was placed in a foster home in Fresno where he was adopted.  Everything I know is in there,” Caleb said flatly.  “Do you really think he’s going to be a match for Seth?”  
  
“We have to try,” Sandy replied, walking out of the office with the file before he lost his temper and did something he’d regret.  He had research to do.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Hey, George, can I ask you a favor?” Ryan called, waving his supervisor over as he peeled off his dirty shirt with the diner’s logo on it.  
  
“Sure thing, kid,” the man replied.  
  
“Can you hang onto my tips until tomorrow?”  Ryan asked quietly, not wanting to take the folded bills home knowing that AJ was low on cash.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll lock them up in the safe.  Everything all right at home?” he asked.  
  
“Peachy.  I appreciate it, G.  I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ryan replied, not getting into any more details as he handed over his night’s money.  
  
He was dreading going home, not knowing what to expect.  He never knew what to expect.  But as he approached his house, he saw that the lights were all on so he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to sneak in this time.  
  
He took a deep breath and walked up the stairs, pulling open the door.  
  
“There’s that fucking kid,” AJ growled from the living room.  
  
“Ryan, baby, where have you been?” his mom slurred from the couch, her hand curled up beckoning him into the living room.  
  
“Work, Ma,” he answered even though he knew she was too drunk to care.  
  
“You can’t even come in here and say hello to your mom? What kind of ungrateful little prick are you?” AJ yelled.  
  
Ryan approached the couch and leaned over the back of it so his mom could see him.  
  
“Oh, baby, what happened to your face?” she cooed.  
  
“That’s what he gets for being such a lazy ass.  Good for nothing punk,” AJ grumbled. “Come here, Ryan.  Let’s see how much money you made tonight.”  
  
“I didn’t make any tonight, we had to divide our tips up,” Ryan lied.  
  
The backhand knocked him spinning and he hit the floor with a thump.  “Lying punk.  Get the hell out of here.  You have to start earning your keep, we can’t afford to feed you and keep your ass out of jail without you contributing something.  Get the fuck out of here!” AJ yelled, not giving him a chance to get to his feet before kicking him in his bruised abdomen.  
  
“Leave him be, AJ. Come here and fix me up again,” Dawn slurred, her eyes glazed as she motioned to the table where the spoon and syringes were laid out.  
  
“You’re lucky your ma gives a shit,” AJ grunted, leaving him alone.  
  
Ryan pushed himself to his feet and hurried into his room before AJ changed his mind.  He went to the window and saw Teresa looking at him through her window, her face lined with concern.  He pulled the shades closed and paused long enough to spit blood in an empty cup beside his bed before lying down.  
  
He hated this place.  
  


* * *

  
  
Kirsten left Seth for the night, making sure he was tucked in with his favorite toy horse and sleeping soundly thanks to his nightly dose of drugs.  She found Sandy sitting in the waiting room of the pediatric ward with a notepad full of scribbles and notes on his lap.  “Sandy? Are we going to talk about this?”  
  
“Talk about what?” Sandy asked, absently, not glancing up.  
  
“I’m sorry, Sandy.  For not telling you.”  
  
He met her gaze as she sat down.  “You were seventeen.  And I have doubts whether things would have worked out this way if you had a different father.  You’re a wonderful mother and a wonderful wife…but you were seventeen when you had your first child.”  
  
She glanced down at the notepad.  “What are you doing?  Are you…did you find him?”  
  
“I have a couple of leads,” he confessed.  
  
“Let me see – Sandy?”  
  
Sandy tucked the notebook into his briefcase.  “I think we should wait until we have confirmation that I’m on the right track.  Then we should notify the adoption agency formally and explain our request.”  
  
“Our request?” Kirsten whispered.  
  
“We’re not petitioning for custody or visitation.  We just need to get a sample of his bone marrow,” Sandy replied, studying her face.  “And if that’s the case…do you really want to know his name, where he lives?”  
  
She hesitated. If she saw this child – would she be able to let him go?  That’s what Sandy was really asking.  “Is…is he okay?  Happy?”  
  
“I don’t know, Kirsten.  Would that make a difference?” Sandy questioned softly.  “He may not even know he was adopted.”  
  
She felt the tears threaten to spill again.  “Will you…will you take care of it?”  
  
He squeezed her hand.  She loved Sandy and trusted him to do what was right.  
  
“Are you going to tell Jimmy?”  Sandy asked after a beat.  
  
“No.  Not unless he’s a match.  Then we’ll deal with it,” Kirsten replied.  
  


* * *

  
  
He took the day off school, not wanting to deal with explaining his newest bruises to the teachers nosy enough to bug him about it.  He hoped that over the weekend they would clear up enough for him to deny fresh bruises.  
  
He didn’t have to be at work until late in the afternoon and luckily, AJ and Dawn were out of the house, he didn’t care where.  He was just grateful for the alone time.  The fridge was mostly empty but he helped himself to a beer for breakfast before sitting down at the kitchen table to start his homework, for what it mattered.  He didn’t plan on graduating but keeping his grades up kept the teachers off his back.  
  
The knock on the door startled him and he hoped to god it wasn’t the landlord.  He had no idea if his mom or AJ had been keeping up with the rent and he didn’t want to have to hand them an eviction notice.  They’d find some way to blame him for that, too.  
  
He peeked through the window on his way to the door, spotting a man in a business suit.  That couldn’t be good. He swung open the inside door, glaring at the man through the screen.  “Can I help you?”  
  
“Oh.  I’m looking for Dawn Atwood…”  
  
“She’s not home,” Ryan replied, watching the man’s bushy eyebrows rise and fall as he stared at him.  
  
“What happened to your face?”  
  
“You here about my face or about Dawn?” Ryan replied.  “Dawn’s not home.”  
  
“Sorry,” the man stammered. “Can you ask her to call me when she gets in?  Here’s my card,” he said, holding it out so Ryan could take it through the screen.  
  
“A lawyer?  What the fuck do you want with my mom?” Ryan asked, studying the small print.  
  
“It’s…it’s urgent, please, if you could just pass on the message,” the man said.  
  
“Fine, whatever,” Ryan said, starting to close the door but pausing when the man started to speak again.  
  
“Are you her son?  Shouldn’t you be in school?”  
  
“Doesn’t say ‘child services’ on here, why do you care? Is my mom in some kind of trouble?” he asked, studying the man.  
  
“No, no, not at all…”  
  
“Then what do you want with her?” Ryan asked.  
  
“It would be better for me to speak to your mom…” the man stammered.  
  
Ryan glimpsed AJ’s car pulling up and knew that his time alone had run out.  “Well, here she comes, you can talk to her yourself.  She might even be sober since you got here early enough,” he muttered, giving the card back and nodding to the car.  
  
He went back into the kitchen and gathered up all his books and cleaned up his mess, stowing everything in his room again.  
  
He heard AJ stomping around on the porch before the familiar sound of his loud engine started up again as his car pulled away.  He left his door open slightly so he could overhear what the lawyer wanted with his mom.  
  
He didn’t have a chance to hear much before she came and pushed open the door. “Ry, baby, can you come out here?”  
  
Ryan glanced at his mom, trying to find a clue as to what he was needed for but finding nothing but the familiar glaze from the drugs she filled her veins with now.  But he followed her out where the lawyer was sitting uncomfortably on the threadbare sofa in the living room.  Ryan was just glad that all the drug paraphernalia was out of sight, even if the empty liquor bottles weren’t.  
  
“Ry, you remember how I told you one time about how you were adopted?” Dawn said as he sat down and lit a cigarette despite the man’s surprised look.  
  
“Yeah, Ma, I remember,” Ryan said.  As if he’d forget something like that.  To know that his real mother had given him up to Dawn and his now incarcerated father as the lesser of two evils was something that he’d never forget.  He wondered what kind of hell he was escaping.  “Why?”  
  
“Your birth mother has a kid, he’s got cancer or something and they want to check and see if you match him – for some kind of transplant, Mr. Cohen can explain it better than me,” his mom said, only slurring a little.  
  
“Transplant? You want a piece of my liver or something?” Ryan asked, turning to the man.  
  
“No, um, this isn’t quite how we wanted to go about this…but, Ryan, you have a half-brother, he’s ten and he has leukemia…”  
  
“Oh, so he needs bone marrow, right?” Ryan asked, not thinking about the fact that he had a little brother.  He knew better than to expect this to be a reunion meeting.  They just wanted something from him.  
  
“We’d just like to find out if you’re a match, if you don’t match then we won’t ask you for anything,” Mr. Cohen said.  
  
His mom had left the room, probably gone to get a beer and away from the stranger man.  He shrugged, not meeting the lawyer’s eyes.  “I’ve got work tonight and tomorrow, what do I have to do?”  
  
“You…you don’t have any questions?” the man asked, hesitantly.  
  
“I just asked you what you needed me to do. Wasn’t that a question?  The kid’s sick, I don’t want to be the reason a little kid dies,” Ryan replied evenly.  He took a long drag off his cigarette.  As many times as he’d imagined his biological parents coming for him, looking for him – he’d never imagined it quite like this.  After ditching him when he was a baby – it seemed they finally had a use for him.  To save his brother.  
  
“We’ll contact your pediatrician…”  
  
“I don’t have a doctor.  No insurance.  Why don’t you just work out the details, find some clinic that will take the sample you’re looking for and you can be on your way.  It’s not going to cost me anything, is it?” Ryan asked.  
  
“No, no, it won’t cost you anything…” Mr. Cohen said, floundering again.  
  
“Fine,” Ryan said.  “And it’s probably best if you don’t come here anymore, you caught Mom on a good day.”  He scribbled the number of the diner on a scrap of paper.  “Here’s where I work nights.  When you find a place for me to get the test done, call me there and I’ll do my best to make it.”  
  
“And you don’t have any questions about your mother or brother?” The man asked, standing up when Ryan got to his feet.  
  
Ryan glanced at him, stunned that the fucker was even asking.  “I learned a long time ago to not ask questions that I wasn’t prepared to get the answers for.  I hope that her kid’s okay.”  
  
Once the man was safely out of the house, Ryan went to the bathroom and emptied his guts into the toilet and let himself try to catch his breath.  His mother had a son.  A son she didn’t give away.  What kind of karma did she have to give away the healthy one?  
  


* * *

  
  
Sandy walked into the house and put down his briefcase by the door, not bothering to take it into his office.  He had Dawn’s signature, he’d recognized Kirsten in Ryan’s blackened blue eyes.  
  
He hadn’t expected…what he’d found.  He’d expected to find a loving mother protective of her treasured adopted son.  Not a drunk mother who could care less what happened to her son.  
  
Ryan’s bruises had horrified him but what bothered him more was the boy’s utter indifference to the whole situation.  Ryan should be outraged at the request – he had a right to be considering his living situation.  But he hadn’t shown much reaction at all.  Sandy couldn’t get the kid’s face out of his mind when he’d asked how much it was going to cost him.  
  
Fifteen years old with bruises on his face, a drunk mom and a job.  
  
“Sandy?” Kirsten called from the den.  
  
“Hey, I thought you’d be at the hospital,” Sandy said, joining her immediately and tucking all his worries behind his mask.  
  
“He was resting and he gave me official permission to come home.  Hailey’s with him,” Kirsten added. “Any news?”  
  
“I met with…the adoptive mother and your son today.  He’s going to take the test…”  
  
All the color had drained out of Kirsten’s face. “You saw him? Sandy? How…”  
  
“He’s going to take the test, I’m working on setting him up with an appointment now at a clinic capable of doing all the correct tests right the first time,” Sandy continued, ignoring her questions.  
  
“What’s wrong, Sandy?  Is he…does he hate me?”  
  
“I don’t think that matters, Kirsten.  He’s going to do this for us, for Seth.  That’s all that matters,” he lied.  
  
“Is he okay?  Is he happy?”  
  
Sandy pictured Ryan’s bruised face again, his dull eyes much older than 15.  
  
“Oh god…Sandy?” Kirsten whispered, reaching over and catching his attention.  
  
“Do you really want to know?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Yes – absolutely – Sandy, tell me!” she demanded.  
  
“I don’t think he has the most functional family.  His adoptive father’s in jail, his mother…she was drunk when I got there.  I don’t even know if she fully understood what I was asking her.  And Ryan…”  
  
“His name’s Ryan?” she asked.  
  
“He had two black eyes, Kirsten.  He…he told me that he doesn’t have a doctor, that he doesn’t have insurance and he has a job – he told me not to come by the house again and to call him at his job…what kind of kid doesn’t take calls at his house?” Sandy muttered.  
  
Kirsten seemed stricken. “Did he ask you anything?”  
  
“No.  He said he hopes that Seth’s okay, said that was all that mattered,” Sandy replied. “He’s got your eyes.”  
  
She stood up and walked out of the room.  
  


* * *

  
  
“You seem distracted tonight, kid. Why don’t you take a break?” George asked, stopping him in the kitchen.  
  
“I just took one,” Ryan replied, rolling his shoulders to work out the ache that had crept into his muscles.  
  
“Take another one.  It’s going to be a couple of hours before the bars let out, you’ll make it up,” George said.  
  
Ryan liked George.  He paid him on time and didn’t ask too many questions.  Ryan hated questions.  
  
He didn’t question George again and was almost giddy when he realized he still had half a pack of cigarettes left in his pocket.  He stepped outside into the back alley and lit one, leaning against the brick wall and inhaling deeply.  
  
He didn’t get the same head rush as he used to, but it was still a relief to have this moment of silence for him to pull himself together. There was only so much ‘focus’ one could put into being a waiter and busboy before seeming like a weirdo.  
  
He had a little brother.  With leukemia.  
  
Who probably didn’t even know he existed.  
  
He takes another drag off the cigarette, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall.  
  
His mom had told him he was adopted a couple of months after they’d moved to Chino from Fresno.  After his dad got locked up for good.  
  
Ryan hadn’t understood how they could all have lied to him, his brother, his mom and dad.  But at least he hadn’t been left out or treated differently.  He got punished and rewarded just like Trey, like Dawn and Dave’s biological child.  And she hadn’t brought it up since, well, until today.  AJ didn’t know, Ryan was sure of that.  
  
His mom loved him, in her own twisted way.  
  
“Hey.  Are you going to walk away from me again?”  
  
Ryan regarded Teresa through the cigarette smoke. “Depends. Eddie know you’re talking to me?” he asked, nodding his chin down the alley where Eddie and Arturo were lurking with some other kids he knew.  
  
“Eddie’s still your friend.  So am I. We…I’m sorry.  I can’t handle you being mad at me.  Trey’s locked up and…we’re worried about you.  I’m worried about you,” she said.  
  
“I’m fine.  They should have worried about Trey before he got arrested instead of worrying about us now,” Ryan muttered, dropping the cigarette and crushing out the embers with his boot.  He wanted to stay mad at Teresa. He really did.  
  
“Ryan, what’s going on?” she asked.  
  
He wanted to tell her everything.  He wanted to hear what she thought. He wanted to tell someone that he was adopted and the woman that abandoned him wanted him to try and save her son - the son that was worthy of living with her.  He wanted her to tell him why he wasn’t good enough to live with his real mother.  He wanted her to tell him that it was okay if he told the woman to fuck off – even if it meant that a kid might die.  He opened his mouth, looking at her for a moment.  “I have to get back to work.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Kirsten took a deep breath and pushed open the door to her father’s office.  
  
He glanced up from his phone called and seemed to realize that this wasn’t a normal visit.  
  
She closed the door and walked over, pushing the button with her manicured nail and disconnecting his call.  
  
“Kiki?” he questioned, staring at her.  
  
“Consider this my resignation,” she said, just like she’d practiced, placing the folder with her paperwork on the desk.  “I’m putting all my stock up for sale, it’s Hailey’s if she wants it, or yours for the right price.  I’m dissolving all of my ties with you.”  
  
“Kirsten…”  
  
“What’s the one thing you promised me?  The one thing I absolutely made you promise me when you told me I had to give my child away,” she asked, staring him in the face.  
  
“I…”  
  
“You promised me that he’d go to a good home.  You promised me that he’d be taken care of,” she stated, leaning forward to make sure he heard her. “I trusted you – I trusted that you knew what you were doing, that you weren’t just trying to make things easier for yourself, that you were doing what was best for me and my child.”  
  
“Kirsten, we placed him with a reputable adoption agency run by the state of California – there was no way for me to track him…” he started.  
  
“It’s too late.  It’s fifteen years too late.  For both of us.  Ryan grew up without a mother and you no longer have a daughter.  Consider it fair trade,” she finished, leaving the door open on her way out.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan got the phone call on Sunday night giving him the address of a local Red Cross where the lawyer had arranged for him to give blood before school the next morning.  
  
He was relieved that it was as simple as a vial of blood.  If he wasn’t a match, he could forget that the lawyer had ever shown up at his house.  He could forget that his mother had a sick son.  He could go back to his life, whatever that was.  
  
Teresa met him on the sidewalk as he turned toward the place where he had his appointment.  “You cutting school again?”  
  
“No.  I have something to do first,” he replied, stopping only when she stepped in front of him.  
  
“Can I walk with you?”  
  
“Teresa,” he hedged.  
  
“No arguments.  You’ve never been able to hold a grudge for long and this is getting old.  I miss my best friend,” she said, pulling his backpack off his shoulders and swinging it over her arm.  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Come on, Ryan. Get over it already,” she said quietly.  
  
“Easy for you to say, since you’re the one that started it,” he said, not moving.  
  
She sighed. “I’m with Eddie.  I went about it the wrong way and I’m sorry.  I made a mistake.  Can’t we still be friends?  I know Eddie misses you, too.”  
  
“Whatever,” Ryan muttered, glancing at his watch. “I’m going to be late,” he said, walking and accepting her presence.  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“I have to give blood.  It won’t take long and you don’t have to tag along, I’d be happy for you to take my books ahead to school for me, though.” he added.  
  
“Why are you giving blood?  You’re not even old enough to give blood,” she replied.  
  
“It’s a long story that I really don’t feel the need to go into with you,” he said.  
  
“Ryan?  Are you okay?  Do you think…do you think you caught something?” she asked softly, stopping him on the sidewalk.  
  
“No, Teresa, I don’t have anything.  I got tested before we started fucking, remember?  You went with me,” he replied, already tired from this conversation.  
  
“Then what?”  
  
“Just…you want to be friends with me again?  Then drop it.  That’s the only way this is going to work because I’m not telling you,” he replied.  
  
“Fine,” she said after a long moment.  “But…you promise you’re okay?”  
  
“I promise.  There is nothing wrong with me,” Ryan replied.  
  


* * *

  
Sandy hung up the phone and immediately forgot what he was supposed to say.  He turned to his wife and sister in law who were watching him expectantly.  
  
“Was that the doctor?” Kirsten asked, making sure Seth was settled before standing up and joining him by the desk.  “Sandy?”  
  
“They’ve found a partial match,” he managed, looking at her and making sure she realized what he was saying. “And if the donor’s willing – they want to do the transplant as soon as possible.”  
  
“They found a match in the donor registry?” Hailey questioned.  
  
“Not exactly,” Sandy replied.  Kirsten threw her arms around him and started to cry.  
  


* * *

  
  
“I can’t believe I didn’t know,” Hailey repeated, sitting across from her and Sandy in the waiting room.  “I thought you were going to fat camp or something, I never understood why Mom went with you.”  
  
“I didn’t tell anyone.  Not even Jimmy,” Kirsten said.  
  
“So, who’s this kid?  Ryan?  Is he cool?”  Hailey was taking the news surprisingly well, curious instead of scolding.  
  
“I want to meet him, Sandy.  I have to meet him,” Kirsten said, turning to her husband.  
  
“That’s up to Ryan, don’t you think, honey?” he asked, exhaustion and emotion dancing behind his eyes.  
  
“He’s my son, too.  I want to meet him.  Hold him in my arms…tell him that I’m sorry…” Kirsten whispered.  
  
“I’m going down to talk to him about the procedure.  I’ll bring it up, Kirsten, but that’s as far as I’m going.  This kid…he doesn’t deserve to be jerked around…” Sandy said.  
  
“Sandy, what’s the deal?  Doesn’t he want to meet Kirsten?  Is he happy?  Surely Mom wouldn’t let him go to assholes,” Hailey replied.  
  
Kirsten didn’t cry this time.  She dug her nails into her palms and prayed for a second chance with both of her sons.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan wiped down the table as the bell signaled that a new customer had arrived.  He didn’t bother to look up, he wasn’t going to drop what he was doing to give them a menu, they could wait a few minutes until he finished bussing this table.  
  
He took the dishpan into the kitchen, putting it down beside the industrial dishwasher before wiping his hands on the towel and putting his ‘polite’ face on to serve the customer he’d seen sit down by the front in his peripheral vision.  
  
He was surprised to recognize the lawyer, Mr. Cohen, and he knew immediately why he was there, and he didn’t think it was for the fine cuisine.  He pulled out his pad.  “Can I help you?”  
  
“Do you have a few minutes that we could talk?”  
  
“George, I’m taking my break,” Ryan called to his boss who grunted in response from the grill.  He sat down across from the man in the booth.  “I guess I matched, huh?” He was glad he’d weaned his smoking habit down to a few butts a day.  
  
“Yes, Ryan. Are you still willing to donate your bone marrow?”  
  
“I looked it up on the internet at school and it seems easy enough.  Some good drugs, needle in the back and it’s done, right?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Basically, yes,” Mr. Cohen replied, hesitating as if he wanted to say more.  
  
“Fine.  I’ll take a couple of days off work, get my mom to write a note for school, is that it?”  
  
“Ryan…I’m sorry for not mentioning it before, but…I’m…I’m married to your biological mother.”  
  
That was a surprise.  Ryan hoped his face didn’t show how startled he was.  “So the kid this is for, he’s your son?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Did you know about me?” he asked before he thought about how pathetic he sounded.  
  
“No.  Not until recently.  Very recently. Kirsten…” he started.  
  
Ryan held up his hand. “Stop. I don’t need to hear any more.  I said I’d help, what else do you want from me?”  
  
“She’d like to meet you.  To…to thank you.  To talk to you.  To try to explain…” Mr. Cohen said.  
  
 _Kirsten_.  His mother’s name was Kirsten. “No thank you,” Ryan said blankly.  _Kirsten_.  
  
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, finding out this way that you have a brother – finding out that your mother…”  
  
“Just…stop,” Ryan said, clenching his fists automatically.  Things had finally settled down again. “Stop it.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“I don’t understand why she needs to meet me.  I’m giving her what she wants, I don’t need her gratitude,” he said, focusing on each word individually to make sure he didn’t sound like an asshole.  _Kirsten_.  His mother’s name was Kirsten.  
  
“You have to want something,” Mr. Cohen said quietly. “You’re doing my family a huge favor and you…you have to want something in return.”  
  
“Can you get my brother, Trey, out of jail?” Ryan asked, watching the man start. “Other than that, there’s nothing I want except to be left alone.  Just…set up the details, tell me where I need to go to get the needle.”  
  
“It’s done at a hospital, we can set it up at HOAG,” Mr. Cohen replied.  
  
“All the way out there in Newport?” Ryan asked. “Will you pay for cab fare?”  
  
“Of course…your mother won’t come with you?”  
  
Ryan glanced at him, annoyed and then he remembered that this man didn’t know his mother or know anything about his life.  To this man, his mother’s name was Kirsten. “Ma has more important stuff to do.  I have to have an escort for this?”  
  
“You’re a minor, I don’t know if they’d do the procedure without a parent present,” Mr. Cohen replied.  
  
“Then you’re out of luck.  Unless that hospital has an open bar,” he added before thinking. “I have no problem donating what you need, but I don’t want my mom involved.” She’d milk the people for money to shoot up with.  And AJ would be sure to find out that he was adopted then and he didn’t need ‘homeless’ being added to his things he had to deal with.  
  
“Okay, I’ll find out the details, Ryan.  And I’d like to drive you myself, instead of you being in a taxi for all that time,” Mr. Cohen said.  
  
“Just figure out what I have to do, what Mom has to sign and stuff.  And let me know what days I need to ask off work,” Ryan said, sliding out of the booth before he had time to think any further.  He didn’t want to spend time in a car with this man – he didn’t want to talk about this anymore.  Wasn’t his life complicated enough?  
  
“Ryan,” the man said, the emotion in his voice stopping him in his tracks. “Thank you.”  
  
He nodded and started to go back into the kitchen, but stopped.  He wasn’t sure why, or where the words came from, but he recognized his voice.  “If she wants to see me, she can see me after the procedure.  That way she can forget about me and never have to think about me again.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Kirsten was pacing the floors when Sandy returned.  “Hey. How was it?”  
  
“He’s going to do it, as long as we can get around some of the criteria,” Sandy replied, not wanting to admit that Dawn wasn’t going to come with Ryan.  
  
“What criteria?  Is he healthy enough?  I mean, was he bruised this time?”  
  
He hated the way his wife’s nails were bitten down to the quick and she couldn’t sit still.  Seth’s declining mood from the new radiation to prepare him for the transplant had affected them all, not to mention Ryan’s appearance in their lives.  “No, none of that.  He’ll have to undergo a few more tests, but the doctors are still optimistic that the actual transplant will go through without a hitch.  It’s all a matter of setting up Ryan’s donation.”  
  
“Did you ask him if I could see him?” she asked immediately.  
  
“He…he said no, at first.  But he agreed that you can see him, if you like, when he comes into town for his donation.”  
  
“His mother’s going to be there, too, right?” she replied.  
  
“He doesn’t want her to be involved.  He doesn’t think that she’ll come with him.  And honestly, from what I saw of her, I think he might be right on that,” Sandy replied.  
  
Kirsten’s face fell. “His mom…she’s not coming?  Is it because she doesn’t want him to meet me?”  
  
“I think it’s more that she doesn’t care,” Sandy replied honestly. “He seems to be pretty independent.  Are you sure you want to see him, Kirsten?”  
  
She looked at him for a long moment.  "Sandy, do we need to talk about this?”  
  
He hesitated.  “I think we have to.”  
  
“Why?” she whispered, stepping closer.  
  
“Because the more I see of this kid…the less I believe you’re going to let go of him again,” Sandy replied honestly.  He put his hand against her cheek, staring into her eyes. “And I don’t know what that means for you or for Ryan.”  
  
Tears filled her eyes and she looked away. “Do you hate me?”  
  
“No, honey.  I hate the situation, but I don’t hate you.  Maybe your father a little, but I’ve always hated him,” Sandy added, earning a weak laugh from his wife.  
  


* * *

  
  
“So, what are we doing here, Dad?” Hailey asked, stretching impatiently as her father parked the car outside the low-rent diner in Chino.  She loved her sister and as surprised as she’d been to find out about her illegitimate kid, it was a relief to see that Kirsten wasn’t perfect, no matter how much their father wanted her to be.  
  
“We are going in and ordering dinner,” Caleb replied, his hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel.  
  
“Why here?” Hailey questioned, watching him carefully.  
  
“Because the boy works here.  Kirsten’s boy.  And I need to see for myself what’s got her so upset.”  
  
Hailey snorted. “Look around you, Dad. I’ll put cash money down that when we come out this Jag’s going to be missing some parts, if not the whole car.  This is what people call ‘the ghetto’.  And you still wonder why she’s upset?”  
  
“Not helping me there, Hails,” her dad replied, glaring at her.  
  
“Let’s go.  I want to see this kid, too.”  
  
“We’re not here to introduce ourselves, we’re just here to…eat.”  
  
“I’m not eating anything that comes out of there.  But I’ll buy you a cup of coffee,” Hailey said, climbing out of the car.  
  
The woman’s voice caught her attention immediately a few yards away by the side door. “Ry, come on, baby, I know you’ve got money, please, I just need 10 dollars, maybe 20 and I’ll leave you alone, I’ll keep AJ off your back while you’re out of town next week…”  
  
Hailey recognized those eyes when the kid she was talking to looked up.  That had to be Kirsten’s son, blond and blue, just like Sandy said.  Caleb had gone completely still.  
  
“Fuck you, Mom, why don’t you get a job instead of mooching off me all the goddamn time,” the kid replied.  
  
Hailey didn’t even have time to process the question before the woman smacked him across the face.  
  
“You have a place to live, don’tcha?  You ain’t living on the streets, you should be damn grateful for me for putting up with you this long,” the woman hissed.  
  
The kid, Ryan, pushed a handful of bills into her hand, not looking at her.  
  
The woman immediately calmed down, smoothing out the dollars with shaking hands. “Thanks, baby.  Oh, and tell that school lady to stop calling the house, she’s pissing AJ off.”  
  
“What school lady?”  
  
“Wants you to take that test again, the CAT's or something, I don’t know. You’ll be home later?” she asked, not waiting for a response before hurrying away.  
  
Hailey followed Ryan with her eyes as he retreated back down the alley away from them.  
  
“Jesus,” Caleb whispered.  
  
“You still want to eat here?” she asked quietly, wondering if she looked as stricken as he did.  
  
“I think I’ve seen enough,” he replied, getting back in the car.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“Look, Dad, Mr. Cooper came to see me, that must mean he’s really bored at his house full of girls if he comes all the way out here,” Seth grinned at Sandy as he pointed toward the door of his hospital room.  Kirsten met Sandy’s gaze, guilty.  
  
“How are you doing today, kid?” Jimmy asked, giving Seth a wide grin and shaking his tiny hand.  
  
“All right considering I have radiation pumping through my bloodstream.  I asked Dad when I was going to get my superpowers but he never gives me a straight answer,” Seth replied.  His spirits were much better now that they’d told him he was getting a transplant.  To Seth, it was a sure thing, and they weren’t going to tell him any different.  
  
“That’s probably for the best, kid, he’s worried you’re going to fly away before he gets a chance to teach you all his favorite tricks,” Jimmy winked.  
  
“I’m going to go talk to Jimmy outside, Seth, try not to beat your father on the PSP again, he barely slept a wink last night,” Kirsten said to Seth, kissing his bald head fondly.  
  
“I can’t help it he sucks at playing ninja,” Seth replied, smiling at his dad.  
  
Jimmy followed her out of the room.  “Is everything all right, Kirsten?  Julie said that you’d found a donor, isn’t that good news?”  
  
“Let’s go outside where we’ll have more privacy.”  
  
“Why do we need privacy, Kirsten?  What’s this all about?” Jimmy questioned, concern lining his face.  
  
“It’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it here,” she replied. “Just…trust me.  Because after I tell you the truth, I doubt you’ll ever trust me again.”  
  
He didn’t say anything else but followed her outside to her car where they climbed inside.  Kirsten started the engine to turn the air conditioning on for his comfort but she didn’t think she’d been warm since she learned Ryan’s name.  
  
“Kirsten.  What’s going on?”  
  
“Remember when we were dating in high school?” she asked, not looking at him. “And Dad kept catching us making out in the poolhouse and he kicked you out and then I went away for a few months?”  
  
“Yeah.  Hailey kept saying you were at ‘fat camp’ or something.  When you got back, we broke up.  Why are we talking about this?” he asked quietly.  “Kirsten?”  
  
“I was pregnant.  With your son.  And I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t tell you.  I told my Mom and Dad, but I didn’t tell you and I think that’s where everything got so fucked up.”  
  
Jimmy’s face drained of color and she hated herself a little more for doing this to him. “Did you…”  
  
“I gave him up for adoption.  Or, rather, my parents did.  I begged and cried, I wanted to keep the baby, but my Mom said that there was no way I could handle it.  I don’t even remember the birth, I remember my water breaking and then…waking up. Jimmy…”  
  
“I can’t believe this.  I…I have a son? Kirsten…how could you not tell me?  All these years?”  
  
“I only told Sandy a few weeks ago.  The match, for Seth…it’s our son.  Sandy tracked him down as soon as he found out and he…he’s going to donate his bone marrow for Seth,” Kirsten said, needing to get it all out before she lost her nerve.  
  
“You and I…we have a son.  Did you think I wouldn’t care, Kirsten?  Those months when you were gone – it was killing me not to know what was going on and I wrote you letters…” Jimmy started.  
  
“Letters?  Mom and Dad never gave me any letters,” she whispered, wiping her eyes of the stray tears.  She’d never cried as much as she had in the past few weeks. Seth’s illness and then the secret adoption…  
  
“Goddamn you, Kirsten.  I would have married you, I would have done whatever needed to be done, how dare you keep this from me?” Jimmy snapped suddenly, angrier than she’d ever seen him.  
  
“I was seventeen, Jimmy – I went to my parents when I found out, how did I know I could trust you when you were playing swap meet with me and Taryn?  We were in high school, I didn’t know what to do and I made the wrong choice – don’t you think I know that?  I fucked up, Jimmy.”  
  
“Yeah, you did,” he replied, sighing.  
  
They sat in silence.  
  
“It was a boy?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Yes,” she replied.  
  
“My dad told me before he died that he wanted a grandson to carry on the family name.  That every generation had a firstborn son except mine.  I bet he’s rolling over in his grave now,” Jimmy said, dragging a hand across his face.  “Can I see him?”  
  
“I haven’t seen him.  Sandy…Sandy’s seen him.  Sandy asked him if he wanted to meet me and he…he’s agreed to see me when he comes into town to donate his bone marrow,” Kirsten replied.  
  
“I take it you didn’t mention my existence to the kid either.  Does he have a name?” Jimmy asked, the anger flickering in his eyes again.  
  
“Ryan.  His name’s Ryan,” Kirsten whispered.  
  
Jimmy got out of the car and slammed the door behind him, storming off into the parking lot.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan took off his workshirt again after his shirt, grimacing when he saw that his last good wife-beater was stained with grease.  He’d have to budget in some shopping soon to replenish his supply.  He had a list of things that Trey wanted him to bring up for him.  
  
He hadn’t told Trey yet was he was doing.  And as much as he wanted a second opinion on his choices, he wasn’t looking forward to listening to Trey’s thoughts. Trey would tell Ryan to make the Cohens pay for his bone marrow and no matter how much Ryan could use the money – it didn’t seem right.  
  
But things were getting more and more twisted in his head and he wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to swing this transplant thing without people finding out.  
  
“George, can I talk to you?” he called, helping the older man turn the chairs upside down and close down for the night.  
  
“Sure thing, kid.  This about the suit that came to see you the other night?” George asked, curiosity lining his eyes.  
  
“Sort of.  I need a couple of days off.” He fumbled in his pocket for the scribbled note with the dates on it. “Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Is that okay?”  
  
“Little short notice, but go on.  You said you wanted to talk and that was more like a question,” George replied.  
  
Ryan approached him and sat down at the counter.  After a beat, George sat down beside him.  “I don’t want AJ to know what I’m doing,” he said quietly.  
  
“I don’t talk to AJ much anyway.  Unless I’m calling the cops on him.  What’s the deal?”  
  
“I’m adopted, Mom told me years ago.  And that guy in the suit is married to my biological mother and their kid is dying of cancer.  They asked me to get tested to see if I matched his bone marrow and I did.  Now I have to go out to this fancy hospital and donate so the little kid can have a better chance of recovery.”  Ryan met George’s eyes for a split second before staring at the counter again.  “If AJ finds out I’m not Dawn’s real kid, I’ll be out on my ass and I really don’t want to have to find a place to stay.”  
  
“Kid…wow.  You’re just going to donate for this kid, for this family you don’t even know?” George asked.  
  
Ryan shrugged.  “Why does everybody make it seem like a big deal? It’s a little kid and all he needs is some bone marrow and it’s not like it’s going to be real complicated.  I go in, they knock me out, I sleep through the hard part, and then I wake up and come home.  I have to take it easy for the days right after the procedure, otherwise I’d be back at work on Friday.”  
  
George put his hand on Ryan’s back. “You will do no such thing.  You’re a good kid, you work too hard for a kid your age and I wonder every night if I’m in the wrong for letting you work so many shifts.  You go do your good deed and you come back when you feel up to it.  Whether that’s the Sunday after or the next week.  You won’t lose your job.  Where are you going to stay when you get done?”  
  
Ryan shrugged.  “Home. Mom promised to keep AJ off my back for a few days.  If not, I’ll see if Teresa will let me crash over there.  But…I appreciate you being so cool about things.  This job is…it’s really important to me, you know?  Not many people would have hired me.”  
  
George sighed heavily and patted him on the back again.  “You let me know if you need anything? If you can’t stay with Teresa or at your Mom’s, you give me a call and I’ll make sure that cot in the back has clean sheets for you, all right?”  
  
“Thanks, George,” Ryan said, meaning it.  He felt lighter after telling him his plans.  “Do you…do you think I’m being stupid?  Like, doing all this for some kid I don’t know?”  
  
“I don’t think you’re stupid, Ryan.  I think you’re a lot better person than a lot of other people I know for helping that boy.  But I don’t want you to get in over your head, either.  AJ comes down on you hard and I don’t want to see you beat down just because you were trying to do something nice,” George replied.  
  
“Thanks. I’ll keep my eyes open.  Better get home, got to go to school tomorrow and I’m totally not in the mood for it,” Ryan said, glad to see the old man grin in reply. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”  
  
“I’ll be expecting you.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Caleb glanced up and saw Jimmy Cooper arguing with his receptionist through the window before storming into the room.  Caleb was already on his feet and he closed the door before Jimmy could slam it.  
  
“You can’t hurt me any more than Kirsten already has.  I’m assuming she told you about my decision all those years ago?  My decision that gave you a normal teenage life – that gave Kiki a chance to find her true love – that let you live your life without the baggage of a newborn…” Caleb started, pausing when he saw that Jimmy’s rage was only growing darker in his cheeks.  “Kirsten has cut all ties with me. She’s never going to forgive me.”  
  
“She’s thinking straight for once.  What gave you the fucking right, Caleb?” Jimmy demanded.  
  
Caleb closed his mouth, cutting off the words that were threatening to spill out.  “It was a long time ago, Jimmy.  It may have been a mistake, but at the time, I did what I thought was best for my daughter.  Now, if you’ll have a seat, I’m glad you came by.  I’d like to talk to you, civilly, if that’s possible.”  
  
“Why in hell would you think I’d sit down and have a civil conversation with you right now?  I have a son, I have to find my son…”  
  
“Which is exactly why I’d like you to sit down.  I know where your son is.  And I’ve been doing some research into his background and I think you should see it.  I’d take it up with Kirsten, but with Seth’s illness and the whole ‘not talking to me’ thing, I haven’t had time,” Caleb said. Jimmy stared at him.  “It was a mistake, Jimmy.  I’d like to try and see about fixing that mistake, as much as I can.”  
  
Jimmy sat down, warily.  
  
“Have you told Julie?”  
  
“Kirsten told me a few hours ago.  I haven’t thought that far ahead,” Jimmy confessed. He met Caleb’s eyes and leaned forward. “What kind of research?  His name’s Ryan, that’s all I know.  He must be…15 or so?  What’s he like? Have you met him?”  
  
Caleb pushed the file he’d accumulated in the past several hours across the desk. “It’s all in there.  And Jimmy…it’s not all good.  He’s had a rough life.  I’d never have pushed for the adoption if I’d known what kind of family was getting him.  You have to believe me, even if Kirsten doesn’t.”  
  
Jimmy glared at him, but didn’t respond, taking the file with a frown.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes when he spotted the guidance counselor headed his way when he closed his locker before lunch.  
  
“Ryan? Ryan, are you avoiding me?” she asked.  
  
“Why would you think that, Mrs. Kat?” he replied.  
  
“Do you have a moment to talk to me today?” she asked.  
  
“Depends.  I’m not taking the SATs again, I told you that when you made me take them the first time.”  
  
“Your scores, Ryan…they’re great and I know you didn’t study.  If you studied, I’m sure you could make an even better score and be a prime candidate for scholarships when you graduate,” she frowned.  
  
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Kat.  You’re a really nice lady and as much as I’d love to be your prize student, you know I’m not college material.  The test was a fluke, you were wearing that cute skirt that day,” Ryan replied. “I can never say no to you in a skirt.”  
  
She blushed, but didn’t drop the frown. “Ryan, you are too smart to give up on college so soon…”  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” he replied. “I can barely manage school as it is, I don’t want this to be a big deal.”  
  
Teresa approached and Ryan was relieved to have the distraction.  She always seemed to know when he needed an ‘out’.  
  
“I’d still like to see you in my office when you ‘have time’.  This discussion is far from over,” Mrs. Kat said, turning and leaving him alone.  
  
“What’s that all about?” Teresa asked.  
  
“You’re so nosy,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Yeah, well, you’re secretive so I have to be.”  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Eddie’s taking me to lunch, you want to tag along?” she asked.  
  
“Eddie’s got a car now?” Ryan asked, surprised.  
  
“Yeah, he’s got a job at a body shop and it’s barely running, but it’s running,” she smiled, almost proud.  
  
“Cool.  Tell him I said ‘what’s up’ when you see him,” Ryan added. It was about time he stopped avoiding Eddie.  If he had time to think about it, he knew that he’d missed Eddie, Teresa and Arturo more than he’d ever admit.  
  
“He’s thinking about going to see Trey this weekend.  You game?” she asked, perking up.  
  
“I can’t this weekend, but I’d love a ride sometime.  The bus ride is going to suck,” he said.  
  
“What kind of big plans do you have this weekend, Mr. High-roller?” Teresa asked.  
  
He dodged her gaze. “I might need a place to crash Thursday night.  If AJ’s home, do you think your Ma would mind?”  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
“I’ll tell you everything, Teresa, just…not today,” he said finally. “I promise.  But…will you ask her?”  
  
Teresa nodded. “You…you okay?”  
  
“I’m fine, but…I’ll tell you later.  I just have to get through it first, before I can talk about it.  And I don’t need AJ all in my face…just…trust me?”  
  
“Trust an Atwood?  Never,” she teased, but her eyes were still clouded with concern.  But he could deal with concern, it was the questioning he wanted to avoid for the moment.  
  
He was going to meet Kirsten on Thursday.  
  


* * *

  
  
Sandy was surprised to find Jimmy waiting outside of his office when he was getting ready to leave for the day.  The poor man looked like he’d been through the wringer already and Sandy could see the hurt and betrayal lining his face.  “Leave your car here, Jimmy. Let’s go get a drink.”  
  
Jimmy didn’t protest, following him to the car.  
  
They’d never been the best of friends, but since he was Kirsten’s husband and Jimmy was Kirsten’s ex, it wasn’t like they were expected to be.  And he couldn’t deny that Jimmy had been a good friend to them once Seth became sick.  He always offered to help out in their stead at Newport events and had arranged for the landscapers to do Sandy’s house at the same time they did his own, just to save them the hassle of dealing with petty things like yardwork when their son was in the hospital.  Most of the Newpsies were only eager to help when there were cameras or tax write-offs involved and Sandy appreciated Jimmy’s friendship, no matter where it came from.  
  
“You okay?” Sandy asked, driving toward the small bar he frequented sometimes after work.  
  
“Hell no.  Are you?”  
  
“Not really.  Finding out my wife had a son she never met and now having to ask that son to let us stick him with a needle to save our son…it’s not exactly what I envisioned when I thought about my upcoming 11th wedding anniversary,” Sandy replied.  
  
Jimmy snorted.  
  
“Did you tell Julie?”  
  
“Julie hates Kirsten enough as it is, I’ve never seen someone that jealous.  What do you think she’s going to say when she hears this?” Jimmy muttered.  
  
Sandy glanced at him before focusing his attention on parking.  
  
“And I might be whipped, but I’m not letting her get past me on this one,” Jimmy said, catching Sandy’s surprised look. “I know what people say about me.  I’m not denying that I let Julie take the lead on a lot of decisions and things, but this…this is my son.  And I’m going to be a part of his life, however he’ll let me be.”  
  
Sandy nodded, but he had to admit that he was surprised. Jimmy seemed to be a good father, if a bit absentminded, but Sandy hadn’t really calculated on Jimmy being quite this eager to get involved.  They got a couple of seats at the bar and ordered their drinks before Sandy turned to him.  “What did Kirsten tell you?”  
  
“Not as much as Caleb told me,” Jimmy replied.  
  
“Caleb?  You saw Caleb?  What does Caleb know?” Sandy asked, alarmed.  
  
“He went to Chino.  After Kirsten reamed him out…he went to see for himself.  And he saw Ryan. Ryan,” Jimmy repeated, his eyes going cloudy for a moment. “He saw him arguing with his mother.  His mom was asking him for money and she hit him, Sandy.  Right across the face, like he wasn’t even related to her…”  
  
Sandy sighed.  
  
“Bad choice of words.  Anyway, Caleb called in some favors, managed to get his hands on Ryan’s file from social services…”  
  
“Oh, Jimmy.  I haven’t even told Kirsten about that…” Sandy replied.  
  
“I figured.  Or she’d already be on her way to Chino.  Probably where I should be headed to get that boy away from that bitch…god, Sandy…I just…I don’t know where to even start to try and make this right.  15 years this kid’s been out there…15 years…” Jimmy repeated.  
  
“Jimmy, you didn’t know.  And no one could have known that Ryan’s adoptive parents’ lives would spiral like they did.  His father probably didn’t plan on getting arrested and his mom probably didn’t plan on having to support two small kids all alone.  Not that I’m excusing their behavior, but no one can predict these things.”  
  
“You’ve talked to him, though.  What’s he like?” Jimmy asked. “Is he a nice kid?  Smart?  Does he have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, whatever…” he added, seeming to realize how little he knew about his son.  
  
“He’s…tough.  He’s a hard worker, he works most nights, I think, and goes to school.  His blood tests were negative for drugs and alcohol, which is saying a lot considering the house he lives in.  And he agreed to be tested as soon as I told him that Seth was ill.  That says a lot to me about him being a good kid.  He’s willing to do that for someone he doesn’t know…a lot of teenagers wouldn’t even think about it,” Sandy replied.  
  
Jimmy nodded.  “Do you think Seth’s going to be okay?”  
  
Sandy sighed. “Please don’t ask me to answer that.  Seth…he’s been sick for so long…”  
  
“Sorry, Sandy…I wasn’t thinking…” Jimmy apologized immediately.  
  
Sandy waved him off. “He’s a tough kid, too.  We’re just trying to get through this transplant…and all this stuff with Ryan sort of blindsided me.”  
  
“How do you think he’d react if I drove down to see him?  Talk to him…”  
  
“He barely agreed to see Kirsten. I didn’t mention you because…I wasn’t positive that Kirsten was going to tell you the truth.  But I’m glad she did.  You deserve to know, Jimmy. But don’t…don’t do anything impulsive…”  
  
“He’s my son,” Jimmy said, holding the beer tightly.  
  
“Just…take it slow,” Sandy said.  
  
Jimmy nodded.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan waited impatiently for the guard to find his brother and let him know that he had a phone call.  It was times like these that he really wished he could smoke, but he didn’t want to give the lawyer’s kid lung cancer accidentally and was doing his best to hold off until after the procedure tomorrow.  
  
George had made him go home early, telling him that he needed to be rested but Ryan was grateful he wasn’t making a big deal out of it.  
  
“’Lo?  Ryan?”  
  
“Hey, Trey.  How you doing?” Ryan asked automatically.  
  
“Good as I can.  What about you?  Staying out of AJ’s way?”  
  
“Good as I can,” Ryan mimicked. “Look, I got some stuff for you, like you asked.  Cigarettes and some of those cheesy paperbacks that you wanted from the Salvation Army, I tried to get ones I hadn’t seen you reading before.  But I can’t make it up this weekend so I’m sending it with Eddie.”  
  
“Why can’t you come up, Ry?  You said you’d come when you found a ride and I know you’re not letting some stupid chick drama keep you from riding up with Eddie.”  
  
“It’s a long story and I’ll tell you all about it when I get up there.  Maybe next weekend?” Ryan replied.  
  
“No way, dude, you tell me now.  If I find out you're getting into trouble…”  
  
“I’m not in trouble…”  
  
“Eddie says that Teresa is all freaked out, said you’ve been acting all twitchy lately.  And Eddie says you haven’t talked to him at all…what’s going on?  Is it AJ?”  
  
“No, Trey, really, it’s nothing like that,” Ryan protested.  
  
“Then why can’t you tell me?  Ryan…come on…what can I do in here?  Just tell me…”  
  
Ryan closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.  He was grateful that his mom and AJ were out so he could talk freely, but he should have expected Trey to interrogate him.  
  
“Ryan?”  
  
“It’s complicated.”  
  
Trey sighed in his ear.  
  
“I really wish you hadn’t got arrested.  I could really use you around right now,” Ryan admitted.  
  
“Damn, kid…you promise you’re not in trouble?” Trey asked after a beat.  
  
“I promise.  And…I promise I’ll tell you.  I’ll make sure Eddie brings your stuff and I’ll call you next week.”  
  
“You damned well better,” Trey replied.  There was a long pause. “Mom okay?”  
  
“Mom’s…mom. She’s fine,” Ryan said.  “You just worry about yourself, I’ve got things under control.”  
  
Trey snorted. “Sure thing, LB.  You just keep thinking like that and you’ll end up in an adjoining cell before you know it.  Seriously…you…you be careful, okay?”  
  
“You, too, man,” Ryan said, hanging up and letting out the breath he’d been holding.  
  
The next phone call was trickier.  He didn’t want to have to call the lawyer, but he needed to know where to ask the cab to take him tomorrow.  And despite the whole weirdness of the situation, the guy seemed nice enough.  He was worried about his kid and Ryan doubted if he was overjoyed with the fact that his wife had another kid floating around.  
  
He dialed the number from the business card and hoped for voicemail, but instead the man’s deep voice responded.  
  
“Hey.  It’s Ryan Atwood…I need to know where to go tomorrow, so I can give the cabbie the address.  You said you’d cover the ride, right?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Ryan, yes, of course, but I’d be glad to drive you, I can pick you up…”  
  
“Mr. Cohen…”  
  
“Call me Sandy, please, Ryan.  Are you sure you want to take a cab?” the man replied.  
  
Ryan sighed. “Look, ‘Sandy’, I said I’d meet your wife, tomorrow, didn’t I?  If that ‘reunion’ doesn’t go smoothly, I’d rather not have to ride back with you being all pissed off.  I’m doing what you asked me to do, and then I’m done.”  
  
The line was silent.  
  
“Things can just go back to the way they were.  If your kid hadn’t gotten sick, you wouldn’t even know about me.”  
  
“Seth.”  
  
“What?” Ryan asked.  
  
“My kid’s name is Seth.  And he’s your brother, too.  He’s not just ‘some kid’.  I want you to meet him, to get to know him…”  
  
“Whoa,” Ryan stated. “I did not sign on for this…”  
  
“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry…that was out of line, I was getting ahead of myself.  I’m sorry,” Sandy immediately retracted.  
  
Ryan took a deep breath and tried to remember how to talk out loud.  “Look. I’m sure Seth’s a good kid and I can tell that you really care about him.  You’re in a bad situation and that sucks – but I need this to be as quick as painless as possible so I can get back to my life.”  
  
“Ryan…”  
  
“What’s the address of the hospital, Mr. Cohen?” Ryan asked.  Finally, the man rattled off the street address.  “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll do my best to be on time.”  
  
“You’re still coming alone?”  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he repeated, hanging up.  
  
“Who the fuck was that?” AJ announced his presence by jerking the phone out of his hand.  
  
“None of your business,” Ryan snapped back, without thinking. He should’ve known better, but he had so many thoughts swirling in his head that he forgot for a moment who he was talking to.  
  
“Everything that happens in this house is my business,” AJ replied, after he’d reminded Ryan who he was talking to with a swift backhand across the cheek. It had knocked Ryan backwards against the sink, dizzying him for a moment.  
  
“AJ, baby, please, I asked you to be nice to Ryan today…” Dawn said, walking into the kitchen and ignoring Ryan as she tried to pacify her boyfriend.  
  
“It’s not like it’s his birthday or something,” AJ grumbled. “And he’s back-talking me again, just like his good-for-nothing brother.”  
  
Ryan took advantage of the distraction and retreated to his room, grabbing his bag and leaving through the window, walking around the house and onto the street. He could still hear AJ’s booming voice from the house as he hesitated on the sidewalk. Teresa wasn’t home, he couldn’t show up at the diner like this after being sent home but he wasn’t going to stay at the house tonight with AJ already pissed at being told to ‘go easy’ on him.  
  
Things just kept getting better.  
  
He hadn’t noticed the car until the whirr of the window caught his attention. The balding man in the driver’s seat was staring at him.  
  
“You got a problem?” Ryan asked, unsettled by the man.  
  
“You have no idea,” the man replied. “Can I give you a ride somewhere?”  
  
“Hell no,” he replied automatically. “If you’re looking for a whore, try a couple of streets down.”  
  
“I’m looking for you. Ryan Atwood. Why don’t you get in and let me tell you all about it.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Caleb wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he was all in now.  
  
He hadn’t meant to stalk the kid, he just wanted to see his house.  Jimmy’s visit had shaken him out of his stunned daze after seeing Ryan and his mother at the diner and he wanted to reassure himself by sitting outside the house.  
  
Then the kid had come outside.  Even had his bag with him.  Blood still trickling from his nose.  
  
“I hear you’ve had a revealing couple of weeks.  Seems to be going around,” Caleb said as he pulled up to the hotel he’d passed on his way in.  
  
“What are you talking about?  Who the fuck are you and what are we doing here?” Ryan demanded.  
  
“I am paying for you a room for the night.  You need to get some rest before your day tomorrow,” Caleb replied.  
  
“What the fuck are you talking about?”  
  
“Quite a mouth on you,” Caleb replied, holding out his handkerchief.  Ryan stared at it for a moment before relocating his stare to Caleb’s face.  “But I guess I’ve earned that.”  
  
“That lawyer send you?  Make sure I wouldn’t take off or something?” Ryan asked, narrowing his gaze. “Because I wasn’t, taking off, I mean.”  
  
“Sandy did not send me.  I don’t think he’s speaking to me at the moment.  But I’ve earned that as well.  My name’s Caleb Nichols.  You’re my grandson,” Caleb said, stating it aloud for the first time.  
  
Ryan’s face flashed with surprise before hardening again. “So?”  
  
He’d known this wasn’t going to be easy.  But this was something he could do for his daughter, even if she never knew.  “So, I am your mother’s father.  I bet you wondered why she gave you up.  I bet you wondered even more after seeing Sandy’s nice car.  I have the answers that you’re looking for, Ryan, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to give them to you.”  
  
“Why the hell should I care?” Ryan replied after a beat.  
  
“Because you do.  Come on, let’s get you a room.  Then I’ll take you to dinner and you’ll never have to speak to me again if you don’t want to,” Caleb said.  
  
“Can we just fast-forward to the not-speaking part?” Ryan asked, but Caleb could see the curiosity behind his eyes.  
  
“I’d rather get to know you.  I don’t like going into things when I don’t have all the facts, and I think that’s something we might have in common,” Caleb said.  
  
Finally, Ryan nodded, taking the handkerchief and flipping down the visor so he could wipe the blood from his face in the mirror.  
  
Caleb went inside and paid for a room for the night, holding out the key for Ryan who was shuffling uncomfortably in the lobby. “Are you hungry?” Caleb asked once Ryan had accepted it.  
  
“Not really.  I’m not supposed to eat after midnight,” he added.  
  
“Ah. It’s early yet.  Your room’s a suite, it should have a kitchen, let’s check it out and I’ll order you some room service, in case you get hungry before midnight,” Caleb said, raising his hand to put in on Ryan’s back for guidance, but stopping when he saw Ryan watching his movement. “Or we could go somewhere public.”  
  
Ryan studied him, his blue eyes bright with intelligence that Caleb hadn’t expected. “No, this is probably a private conversation.  Those people behind the desk already think you’re here to fuck me.”  
  
“Touché,” Caleb said, smiling at the kid’s sense of humor.  He turned and winked at the lady behind the desk who immediately blushed and scurried off.  
  
Ryan’s room was on the top floor, but the hotel wasn’t that large and it wasn’t as nice as Caleb was used to, but he was satisfied that it was a better place for the boy to sleep than wherever else he could’ve been headed.  
  
“Thanks for the room.  I appreciate it.  I can’t pay you back,” Ryan said flatly, turning to face him once they were inside.  
  
Caleb was surprised by the statement. “I don’t expect you to, Ryan.”  
  
“So, you wanted to talk to me.  Talk,” Ryan said, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms in an attempt to make himself look tough.  But Caleb saw the hurt and confusion that he was hiding.  The boy had Kirsten’s eyes and he knew how to read them.  
  
“Let’s sit down.  I don’t want to scare you, or make you any more freaked out than you already are.  I’m grateful to you for giving me the chance to talk to you.”  
  
“I get a free hotel room out of it, seems like a fair deal,” Ryan shrugged, pulling out a chair.  
  
Caleb sat down on the bed and smoothed the crease in his slacks before looking at Ryan again.  “Your mother is a wonderful woman.  I know it hurts to hear that, but it’s true.  She’s not a crackhead or a criminal, she’s my daughter and she’s amazing.” Ryan didn’t say anything, but he didn’t tell him to fuck off either so he continued. “She got pregnant when she was seventeen and I wasn’t happy about it.  She was a straight-A student, she was making plans to go to college and she was dating a boy that was a couple of fries short of a happy meal, to say it kindly, and I was so angry to find out that she’d made such a stupid mistake.”  
  
Ryan snorted, fascinated by something on his shoe.  
  
“She wanted to keep you.  Our family has quite a bit of money and we could have afforded to support another mouth, no problem, but that wasn’t the issue.  My daughter…she had a bright future ahead of her – she could have done anything she wanted, she’s that smart,” Caleb said, remembering Kirsten back then. “My wife and I knew she’d never forgive us if we asked her to have an abortion, that was never an option.  We didn’t tell your father, we didn’t tell Kirsten’s sister, instead, we made up a vague story and took Kirsten to a clinic in Fresno.  When you were born, we didn’t even let Kirsten see you.  She was awake for your birth, but she doesn’t remember it.  We made sure she was comfortable.  And we thought that you’d be comfortable, we thought we were doing another family a favor,” Caleb said, focusing on Ryan again. “I can’t ask you to understand but I have to say this.  I made the decision to give you up for adoption.  I thought I was doing the right thing for my daughter’s future.  I’m sorry that I didn’t consider your future in my decision.”  
  
Ryan was watching him now, as if by looking at him he could judge Caleb’s words.  
  
Caleb started to apologize again, but Ryan spoke, his voice low and tentative. “She had 15 years to find me.  You made the first choice for her.  If she cared, she would have looked for me.”  
  
“Your mother, Kirsten, she does care.  We told her that you were safe.  We didn’t know for sure, but we promised her – I promised her that you were safe and that you would be happy,” Caleb said.  
  
“How do you know I’m not ‘safe and happy’ now?” Ryan replied.  
  
“Because my daughter walked into my office last week and told me that she never wanted to see me again.  Because she knew as soon as Sandy found you that you weren’t safe or happy.”  
  
“You just want me to fix things with your daughter?  What a fucking family you have.  Asking me for my bone marrow, mediating family disputes – you want to take a kidney from me too while you’re here?  Who knew I was so fucking valuable,” Ryan whispered.  
  
“I don’t need you to fix anything, Ryan.  I just wanted to explain things to you before you meet Kirsten for the first time.  This isn’t her fault.  If you need to blame someone, I want you to blame me.  Not Kirsten,” Caleb said.  
  
Ryan seemed to need time to digest everything he’d said and Caleb took advantage of the silence to try and recover some composure as he dialed the front desk and ordered several entrees and hoped that the kid would stay and actually talk to him.  
  
“So, my dad’s stupid?” Ryan asked when he turned back to face him.  
  
Caleb smiled. “No, but at seventeen, let’s say I doubted his intelligence.  He’s actually grown into a very respectable man.  He found out about you a few days ago.  Kirsten told him the truth and he was very upset that we lied to him.”  
  
“He got kids, too?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Two girls.  Marissa’s the same age as Seth, Kaitlyn’s a little younger.  He’s married to an…interesting woman, they keep him on his toes.  But he would really like to meet you, when you’re ready.”  
  
“What if I say no?  What if I just want to be left alone?” Ryan asked.  
  
Caleb leaned forward, looking into the boy’s eyes. “I’m afraid that’s not an option anymore.  You’re not exactly forgettable.  And what you’re doing for Seth, that isn’t forgettable.  I have no right to be in your life, but Kirsten and Jimmy, please don’t punish them.  They were just kids, I was the adult and I made the call.”  
  
Ryan’s face was inscrutable and he turned away, digging into his bag before pulling out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Excuse me a minute while I try to wrap my head around all this shit.”  
  
“Let me have one of those,” Caleb said. When Ryan offered him a cigarette, Caleb hoped that he’d done at least one thing right tonight.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Sandy had been sitting on the bench in front of the hospital all morning.  He didn’t want to overwhelm Ryan, but he wanted to be there when he arrived. He hated the thought of the kid coming to have the procedure by himself and he was going to do he could to make sure this went off without a hitch, and hopefully convince the kid that his biological family was worth getting to know.  
  
He recognized Caleb’s car pulling into the parking deck across the grass and knew that Kirsten wouldn’t take his presence well.  She was bouncing off the walls as it was, eager to meet her son and anxious as to how it would actually go.  Her father’s appearance wouldn’t go well.  
  
He resumed his lookout for the taxi, knowing Caleb had to get past him before getting into Seth’s room.  
  
But when Caleb appeared with Ryan Atwood by his side, Sandy thought he’d been in the sun too long.  
  
“This guy says he knows you,” Ryan said, a new bruise on his cheek.  
  
“I wasn’t aware he knew you,” Sandy replied warily, standing up.  
  
“I seem to have a lot of people showing up on my doorstep lately wanting to get to know me,” Ryan replied “Where do I need to go?”  
  
“You’re still sure about this?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Like I’d come all this way for nothing?” Ryan replied. “Caleb said I might have to stay overnight, I might need to make a call if that’s the case, but I’m…I’m here.”  
  
Caleb put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder and the kid didn’t even blink.  Sandy wondered how Caleb had been able to bond with this kid already and he knew that there was a conversation with his father-in-law coming up very soon.  “Come along, now, Ryan.  I want to make sure you’re all checked in before I find out if Sandy thinks I can sneak in to see my other grandson.”  
  
Sandy caught Caleb’s eyes behind Ryan’s back and interpreted his look as ‘stay cool’ and realized that there was actually a soul inside the old bastard.  
  
Ryan didn’t let either of them speak for him, though.  Once they were inside the clinic, he checked himself in and followed the nurse into the back.  
  
“I had to talk to him,” Caleb said softly, once Ryan was out of earshot.  “I didn’t mean to…I just wanted to…to check on him.  And I’m glad I did.  I put him up in a hotel last night and I told him…everything.  I don’t want him to hate Kirsten, Sandy.  I never had anything but the best intentions for her in mind.  I don’t care if she never forgives me…as long as he can forgive her,” he added.  
  
“He came with you willingly?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Yeah.  I don’t think he had anywhere to go.  The element of surprise goes a long way.  He didn’t run off overnight, he seems determined to do this.  Meeting the family…not so much.  But hopefully I did the right thing this time,” Caleb replied.  
  
“You tell him about Jimmy?” Sandy asked.  
  
Caleb nodded. “I thought, maybe, Jimmy could come in with Kirsten and they could meet him together.  Might be easier on the boy.”  
  
Sandy was genuinely surprised at Caleb’s plotting.  
  
“You think she’ll yell at me if I go see Seth?”  
  
“Tell her to call Jimmy.  Tell her what you told me.  And you might have a shot of her answering you.  I won’t make a promise on the yelling.”  
  
“I’ll stay with Seth while you guys are down here.  Hailey’s due later this morning, isn’t she?”  
  
Sandy nodded, distracted as the nurse came out, looking for him. “Thanks, Caleb,” he muttered, following the lady into the examining room where another nurse was taking Ryan’s blood pressure.  He was already changed into a set of scrubs  
  
“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Ryan, just relax. We’ll do all the work,” the nurse said.  
  
“You okay, kid?”  
  
“Yeah.  How’s Seth?” Ryan asked, looking at him.  
  
“He’s having a good day today.  His procedure’s tomorrow morning,” Sandy replied.  
  
“I guess this is when you should cross your fingers,” Ryan said quietly as the nurse tapped his vein and inserted the IV.  
  
“I’m sorry about Caleb surprising you like that.”  
  
“I think this whole thing’s been surprising for a lot of people,” Ryan muttered. “But it’s cool.  He told me a lot of stuff.  But I don’t trust anyone with that much money.”  
  
Sandy smiled. “That’s a pretty good rule.”  
  
“So, you’re a real lawyer?” Ryan asked, paying no attention to the nurses that were scribbling on his chart in preparation for the doctors.  
  
“Yeah. Public defender. I do a lot of work in your neck of the woods,” he replied, curious as to why Ryan would be asking. The nurses seemed satisfied with their initial work and left them alone, promising to return shortly.  
  
“So…how hard is it for someone to get emancipated?” Ryan asked quietly, smoothing a wrinkle out of the sheet under his hand. “Like, my grades are good, I don’t have a record and I have a job…you think I’d have a shot at getting out from under my Mom before I turn 18?”  
  
Sandy tried to think of the best way to answer. He hated to think of the kid having to go that route and being on his own at sixteen, but he has no actual ties to this kid and he feels like he should be honest with him considering how honest Ryan was with his question. “Well, it’s complicated, but if your record’s clean and you get a reasonable judge, you probably have a pretty good shot.”  
  
“And they’ll okay for me to work full time?” Ryan continued.  
  
“What about school?”  
  
Ryan shrugged, frowning. “Don’t need school.”  
  
“If you want,” Sandy said, dropping that particular subject. “I could look into things for you.”  
  
“I can’t afford a lawyer,” Ryan said. “I was just asking because you seem to be sticking around for something.”  
  
“You’re here all alone and no matter how many times you say that’s cool, this has to be a little weird for you,” Sandy replied.  
  
“Being in the hospital isn’t really a ‘family affair’,” Ryan replied. “The doctor will be coming in shortly to explain about the anesthesia and the procedure and then I’ll be asleep. Why do I need someone here for all that?”  
  


* * *

  
  
Seth was asleep when her father came into the room.  She glared at him but he held up his hands to defuse her.  “Before you say anything, I want you to know that I’m here for Seth.  I respect your wishes and I don’t blame you for hating me.  But I spent last night with a kid that is waiting downstairs to meet you.”  
  
“What?” she whispered, pulling him outside the room. “You…you saw Ryan?”  
  
“Yes. I…I had to see him.  To ease my own conscience.  I told him that it wasn’t your idea to give him up for adoption, that it was my fault.  It was the least I could do.  I told him about Jimmy…”  
  
“Jimmy,” Kirsten replied, spinning with her father’s confession.  
  
“Jimmy’s pretty upset with me, too.  You should call him; see if he wants to meet Ryan today.  Ryan’s willing to do this, if you are.”  
  
“You talked to him…he talked to you?” Kirsten replied, still stunned.  
  
“He’s a smart kid.  Hell, I forgot I was talking to a kid for a lot of the time…I don’t want to get say any more until you meet him,” Caleb said, obviously hiding something.  Kirsten thought everyone was hiding something from her.  Sandy, Jimmy and now Caleb – they all knew more about this boy than she did.  
  
“You call Jimmy.  I’m going to go find Sandy,” she said. “Tell Seth I’ll be back soon?”  
  
“I will,” Caleb promised, watching her for signs of forgiveness but she turned away and hurried to the elevator.  She couldn’t deal with him right now, no matter how well-intentioned.  
  
She questioned the receptionist who smiled obliviously at her until she asked if she’d seen a man with ‘extraordinary eyebrows’. The lady motioned to a room and asked that she be quiet because there were procedures in progress.  
  
She heard Sandy’s voice through the opened door but didn’t dare step inside yet.  
  
She hated how tentative she was being. Her hands were shaking and she was near panic with the prospect of meeting this…boy. Her boy. Ryan.  
  
“I’d still like to stick around until the doctor comes in.  If something goes wrong, I’ll never forgive myself for tracking you down,” Sandy was saying. “I guess I turned your life upside down, didn’t I?”  
  
“A little.  But it’ll settle down again.  Nobody knows about this but my boss and my mom, and I don’t know how much she really processes when I talk to her,” a low voice said.  
  
Her heart threatened to explode and she wondered if it was possible she was having a heart attack hearing her son’s voice for the first time.  
  
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  She was supposed to hear his first words, see his first steps, hold him in her arms but things were so fucked up and she was hearing him talk about jobs and a mother that didn’t care about him in a voice that she’d never heard before…this was just wrong.  
  
“Who’s going to take care of you when you go home?” Sandy asked.  
  
“I can take care of myself.  I’ve been fine for 15 years, I’ll still be fine,” Ryan replied.  
  
A couple of doctors go into the room and she stepped back to give them access.  Sandy joined her in the hallway, jumping when he registered her presence.  
  
“Kirsten, let’s go sit with Seth.  They’re going to do the procedure soon,” Sandy said, putting his arm around her waist.  
  
“But…”  
  
“He’ll be here all night.  He needs to be calm when they put him under. You have time.”  
  
She let Sandy lead her out of the clinic, cursing herself for being too weak to face him.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Mom?” Seth called weakly, shifting in bed.  
  
“She’ll be back soon, son, is there anything I can get you?” Caleb asked, leaning close to his grandson’s side.  
  
“Hey, Grandpa.  Is anything weird going on?” Seth asked him, his brown eyes glazed with the drugs.  
  
“What do you mean, Seth?”  
  
“Mom’s been…really sad. And I hope it’s not because I’m dying, because that would suck,” Seth replied.  
  
“You’re not dying.  Everything’s going fine, Seth, there’s nothing to worry about,” Caleb promised, taking his pale hand in his own.  
  
“This sucks,” Seth replied. “I haven’t been outside in years,” he added. “I don’t want to die without going outside again.”  
  
“You’re not going to die, Seth.  You’ve got the best doctors and you’re tough, just like your mom,” Caleb said.  
  
“Dad’s not tough?” Seth replied, relaxing slightly.  
  
“That depends on who you ask, kiddo,” Caleb teased. “But yeah, your dad’s tough, too.”  
  
Seth smiled, his eyes sliding closed again and drifting back to sleep.  
  
Caleb glanced to the ceiling, praying that God wouldn’t take this child from his daughter because of his mistake.  Seth had to be okay.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Julie?  Honey, I left you messages, where have you been?” Jimmy asked when Julie walked into the kitchen.  
  
“Shopping for Marissa’s new saddle, she’s going to make you so proud at the dressage competition next month, she’s going to be the prettiest girl there,” Julie replied, kissing his cheek absently as she walked past him to get to the fridge for a bottled water.  
  
“I need to talk to you.”  
  
“Is this about money?  I’ve been balancing the checkbook, we have plenty…” Julie started.  
  
“It’s not about money, it’s about something else.  It’s…can you just sit still long enough to listen to me?” Jimmy asked, grabbing her arm.  
  
Julie pursed her lips.  “Of course. What’s so important?”  
  
“I…I don’t know quite how to say this…but I have a son.”  
  
Julie didn’t react. “And when did all this happen?  I haven’t heard any of the Newpsies talking about your torrid affair, but they have been caught up in the Ward’s drama lately with her whole botched boob job…”  
  
“Julie.”  
  
“Okay, Jimmy.  You have a son.  And?” Julie replied coolly, her eyes not showing her true feelings.  
  
“Kirsten and I have a son.”  
  
That got her attention. “Kirsten?  When did you have time to have a son with Kirsten?”  
  
“It happened when we were in high school.  She got pregnant and her parents made her give him up for adoption.  He’s fifteen.”  
  
Julie’s eyes glinted with anger, then jealousy before settling back to their normal color. “Perfect Kirsten gave away her son?  Had an illegitimate child?  Oh, I can’t wait to tell the ladies about this.”  
  
“Julie!” Jimmy protested.  
  
“What did you expect me to say, Jimmy?  Your high school sweetheart gave away your son and you’re still defending her, what do you think that says to me?  Is there anything she could do to make you not love her?”  
  
“It’s not about Kirsten, it’s about Ryan.  My son, Ryan,” Jimmy said. “And I wish, for once, you would act like a wife to me instead of a jealous bitch.”  
  
Julie’s eyes widened with surprise, but she seemed to hear him. “Okay, Jimmy.  What would a ‘good wife’ say about this?”  
  
“I want to be a part of his life.  I want to get to know him.  I want him to know I’m his father and that I’ll be there for him, even if I wasn’t for the first 15 years of his life,” Jimmy replied.  
  
Julie nodded finally. “Okay. I’ll support you, Jimmy.  Whatever you want me to do.  Hell, he can move into the spare room.  I’d love to see the look on Kirsten’s face when she finds out her son’s staying here.”  
  
“Julie,” Jimmy sighed.  He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him.  
  
“I’m sorry, honey, that she lied to you.  I really am.  But you’re a good father and this boy is lucky to have your blood running through his veins.”  
  
“Thank you,” he whispered, touched by her words.  
  
She leaned back to look in his eyes.  “Do you think we would still be married if you’d found out?  If she’d told you back then, would you have married her?”  
  
“I married you, Julie.  And I don’t regret it.  God knows you make me want to sometimes, but I love you.”  
  
“I love you, too.  Have you met the boy yet?” Julie replied, taking a deep swallow from her water.  Jimmy tried not to notice how tightly she was gripping the bottle.  
  
“No.  But I’m going to meet him in a couple of hours.  Are you…are you really okay with this?” Jimmy asked, searching her face.  
  
“I don’t have much choice.  But if he’s your son, then I’m going to have to get used to it.  And I know all about teenage mistakes.  Are you going to tell the girls?”  
  
“Not yet.  And I would appreciate if you wouldn’t tell anyone either, not until we find out what happens next,” Jimmy said.  
  
She nodded.  “Okay. But a secret this big isn’t going to stay secret for long in Newport.  I am interested in how Kirsten managed to keep it this long.”  
  
Jimmy’s phone buzzed and he recognized Kirsten’s number.  
  
“Go, Jimmy.  Meet your son.  But don’t forget about your daughters and your wife here waiting for you, okay?” Julie said softly.  
  
He kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Jules.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan blinked the haziness out of his eyes as the lady shined the light in his face.  
  
“There you are.  How do you feel?”  
  
He didn’t bother to answer her, simply glaring at her.  His back was numb and the IV was cold against his arm. He was cold all over.  
  
“Ryan?”  
  
“I’m okay.  Is it over?”  
  
“Yes, you did great.  There were no complications and we were able to get enough bone marrow for the transplant.  Try to stay awake and we’ll get the doctor in to give you a once over before we move you to your room for the night.”  
  
“Do I have to stay overnight?” he asked, feeling more focused when she raised the bed slightly.  
  
“’Fraid so, Ryan.  We want to keep a close eye on you to make sure there aren’t any complications.” She hesitated. “Some of us noticed that you came in by yourself…is there anything we can get for you?  Magazines or books?”  
  
“No thanks.  But I may take you up on that later, when I’m not so stoned,” he replied, wanting to stay on the nurses’ good sides as long as he had to be here.  
  
“Okay, dearie.  I’ll get the doctor, you just relax,” she said, leaving him the recovery room.  
  
Ryan was glad that it was over.  He shifted in bed, and there was pain almost immediately. He hoped the pain would pass in a couple of days like the websites had said.  He couldn’t afford to be off his game when he went back to Chino.  AJ would immediately see that he was under the weather and make him regret it.  
  
Caleb had filled his head with all kinds of thoughts that he couldn’t afford to have.  Thoughts about his biological parents, that they wanted a better life for him than the one he’d had, that they would love him when they met him.  
  
But he couldn’t afford to think like that.  He already had parents.  Dave, locked up for the foreseeable future, yet a father to him while he’d been around.  And Dawn, she was his mom.  She’d taken care of him when this rich people didn’t have time or space for a newborn.  He owed her.  He owed her everything.  
  
Sandy and Jimmy, at least they didn’t know about him until recently.  Kirsten, Caleb, they’d always known he was out there.  Whether they were too busy being rich or just didn’t care, the only thing he could focus on was that they made no attempt to find him until they needed him for something.  
  
It hurt.  It hurt a lot that he was nothing more than an afterthought.  That these people had lived such good, happy lives without caring about him.  
  
He just had to make it through the night here and things could go back to normal.  He could go home and work and live his life until he turned 16.  Then he, hopefully, could start his life over.  
  
He just had to make it through the night here.  
  
He could face his mother, his father.  He could pretend like he was okay with all of this.  He could listen to them apologize and make them feel better, he’d learned how to placate people at an early age. Apart from AJ, he was pretty damned good at it.  
  
It had gotten him this far.  He just needed it to get him through this night.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Mr. Cohen?  Ryan Atwood’s been placed in his room for the night.  You asked that we let you know.  He came through the procedure wonderfully and things are looking good for Seth’s procedure tomorrow,” a nurse said, finding Sandy in the pediatric waiting room.  
  
“Thank you,” Sandy replied, turning to acknowledge Kirsten’s anxious gaze.  Jimmy was talking with Caleb, but they’d heard, too.  
  
“How long should we wait?” Jimmy asked immediately.  
  
“He’s awake, but a little groggy.  I’m sure he’d be glad for some visitors, poor boy, all alone,” the nurse said, shaking her head as she walked out of the room.  
  
“The guilt just keeps getting thicker,” Sandy muttered.  
  
“Sandy?  Maybe…maybe Jimmy and I should go alone.  You seem to have developed a rapport with him,” she said, hesitating.  “And we might need that if this doesn’t go well.”  
  
Sandy finally nodded, conceding and settling back down in his seat beside Caleb to wait for Seth to finish with his tests.  
  
Kirsten led the way with Jimmy close on her heels.  
  
She wasn’t going to chicken out this time.  She was going to meet her son and she was going to beg for forgiveness and she wasn’t going to break down.  
  
Jimmy took her hand when they reached the door. “You ready for this?”  
  
“No.  But I can’t wait any longer,” Kirsten replied honestly.  
  
The television was on and she vaguely registered the reporter speaking Spanish as she stepped in.  
  
Jimmy’s hand tightened around hers.  
  
 _Ryan_.  
  
He had her eyes, just like Sandy had said and he was regarding her, silently from the bed, his blond hair shaggy and brushed back haphazardly.  He didn’t say anything but she knew he knew who she was.  
  
“Hi.  My name’s Jimmy and this is Kirsten,” Jimmy said, his voice shaking as they stood in the door.  
  
“Okay.  You want to close the door?  I think this is the kid’s floor and they probably don’t need to hear all this,” Ryan said after a long moment, pushing himself up in bed and wincing as he shifted his position.  
  
Jimmy closed the door and Kirsten walked over to the bed, aware of Ryan watching her warily.  She didn’t stop, though and reached out, placing her hands on each of his cheeks and tilting his face up to look at her, careful of his bruise.  He looked at her with hooded eyes, allowing her to study him without protest.  
  
“Kirsten,” Jimmy called softly and she stepped back, reluctantly letting go of him.  
  
“I just have to say up front that this whole situation is really fucked,” Ryan said quietly, flipping the hospital bracelet in endless circles around his wrist.  
  
“I have to agree with you there,” Jimmy replied. “Can…do you mind us being here?”  
  
Ryan shrugged, not looking up.  “Caleb talked to me last night.  Said that the whole adoption thing was his idea and that I shouldn’t be mad at you.  But honestly, I don’t see why you care now that I’ve done what you asked.”  
  
Jimmy was watching Kirsten and she realized that she hadn’t spoken yet.  She was transfixed by this…stranger.  Her son.  Her son was a stranger and that was not okay.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “For…everything.  I was…young and stupid and I thought that I was doing the right thing for you.  I wasn’t ready to be a mother…”  
  
Ryan met her gaze for a moment, the blue in his eyes flashing, almost gray. “Then you did the right thing.  You shouldn’t regret it if you made the right choice.”  
  
“I didn’t make that choice,” Jimmy said, distracting Ryan from Kirsten as she felt her tenuous hold on control slipping.  
  
“You were just stupid.  Sleeping around without protection back in those days?  You were just asking for trouble,” Ryan replied flatly.  
  
“I’d take it back if I could,” Kirsten whispered.  
  
Ryan looked at her, his eyes cold. “No, you wouldn’t.  Like I told your dad last night, he might have made the first mistake forcing you to give your baby away, but you decided not to worry about me for fifteen years.  I’m sorry that your son is sick, I really am, but I don’t need a new mother.  I’ll keep the one that actually wanted a kid, the one that’s never given me away.”  
  
She felt like she was going to be physically sick. Ryan didn’t want her. God, he’d rather stay with the woman that let him get bruises on his face, that let him stay in a hospital by himself, that made him work and didn’t care if he dropped out of school – he would rather be with that woman than let her apologize.  
  
Jimmy was clearly worried about her, putting a hand on her back. “You okay?” he whispered.  She nodded, even though she thought she might fall over if he wasn’t supporting her.  
  
“I don’t mean to be harsh, I just want to get back to my life,” Ryan added softly.  
  
“We’d like to be a part of your life,” Jimmy said, his voice shaking slightly.  
  
“I don’t know if I have any room in my life for anyone else right now,” Ryan replied evenly.  
  
She realized that Ryan’s hands were shaking.  He’d abandoned the bracelet and his hands were resting on his stomach and they were trembling.  He wasn’t as cold as he was trying to be, no matter how steady his words. “Ryan…please. Please give us a chance.”  
  
“I’m sorry, I can’t.  You seem to have a very nice family, Mrs. Cohen,” Ryan said, not looking at her. “But I’m not a part of that.”  
  


* * *

  
Jimmy wasn’t sure that Kirsten was going to stay, but she didn’t cry and she didn’t leave.  He hurt for her, he knew how overwhelming Caleb could be when he set his mind to something and couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for her to put her child’s life in his hands.  
  
“Will you tell us about yourself?  Whatever you want, I’ll…I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me,” Kirsten said, her voice laced with emotion.  
  
Ryan shrugged, feigning indifference but Jimmy could see that the confrontation was getting to him, too.  “What do you want to know?”  
  
Jimmy took advantage of the question and pushed a chair out for Kirsten.  She sat down and he kept his hand on her shoulder.  “Are you in school?”  
  
“Yeah, I go to Chino Hills.  I’m a sophomore,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Do you play any sports?” Kirsten whispered.  
  
“I played soccer a couple of years.  The coach wanted me to play this year, but I don’t have time.  I work at a diner after school and I wouldn’t have time to do both,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Jimmy asked, trying to find a question that would make the kid relax.  
  
“Nah.  I had one for a while, but we’re still friends.  She…”  
  
“What?” Jimmy probed.  
  
“I was supposed to go see my brother in jail this weekend, she took some things up for him.  She wasn’t necessarily a good girlfriend, but she’s still a good friend,” Ryan replied. He glanced between them.  “I guess you guys know what that’s like.”  
  
“Sort of,” Kirsten said, smiling sadly.  
  
Silence descended over the room again.  
  
“What’s your brother like?” Jimmy asked.  
  
That seemed to be a safe subject because Ryan relaxed slightly, pushing himself up in the bed. “He’s a good brother.  Always looked out for me.  He’s a little impulsive and tends to try and take the easy way out.  Thus, jail.  But he’s always been there for me.”  
  
Ryan yawned and Jimmy remembered what he’d gone through today and felt even worse at ambushing him while he was in the hospital.  
  
“Can we see you again?  I mean…since you’re here and we’re here…would that be all right?” Kirsten asked.  
  
“I need to get back to Chino.  But…I’m not going anywhere until tomorrow,” Ryan said, conceding.  
  
Kirsten accepted that and glanced at Jimmy a moment before standing up. “I’ll be back,” she promised, started to pat his hand, but pulling back at the last minute and leaving the room.  
  
“I guess this is hard for her,” Ryan said quietly. “And you.  Finding out you have a kid that’s all grown up.”  
  
Jimmy sat down and leaned forward. “It’s hard for you, too.  Did you always know you were adopted?”  
  
“No.  My dad got locked up when I was little and Mom told me when we moved out of Fresno.  That’s where I used to live.  I had no idea before that…they treated me the same as Trey.  Always have.” Ryan lowered his gaze. “Nobody else knows, apart from my mom and my brother.  And my boss, I had to ask for the time off.”  
  
“Ryan, I can’t change the past, I can’t erase the hurt you must have, the anger that you have to feel…but I’d really like to be a part of your future…if you have room for a friend, or a dad – but I need you to understand that I’m not just forgetting about you.  You’re my son.  It might not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to me…” Jimmy said.  
  
“I don’t know you, or Kirsten.  But don’t you have your own kids to worry about?  Shouldn’t she be worried about Seth?” Ryan replied.  
  
“I do have my own kids.  You’re one of them.  And Kirsten is worried about Seth.  But she’s worried about you, too.  I don’t expect you to see both sides, hell, I don’t even see them as clearly as I want to – but Kirsten…she wouldn’t have stayed out of your life if she’d known that there was the slightest chance that you were unhappy.”  
  
“That’s what her dad said, too.”  
  
“I know it seems like she only found you because her son was sick.  But…if your brother was sick, wouldn’t you do whatever you had to do to make him better?” Jimmy asked.  
  
Ryan nodded. “I know.  That’s why I came, let them stick me with that needle.  He’s just a kid and I don’t want to be the reason he dies.  I don’t want that on my conscience.  But I get what you’re saying.”  
  
Jimmy hoped he understood.  Ryan stifled another yawn as the nurse came in.  He got to his feet and stepped over to the bed. “I’ll let you get some rest.  But I’ll be back later. And…and I’d really like to talk to you some more.”  
  
“Okay.  It’s your choice,” Ryan added.  
  
“Thank you.  For giving me one, for agreeing to see me,” Jimmy replied.  
  


* * *

  
Ryan was grateful for the painkillers because he fell asleep before he let himself think about meeting his parents.  
  
Kirsten was a beautiful woman and Jimmy seemed really nice. They both seemed really nice.  
  
And the fact that Kirsten had come to see him while her son was possibly dying upstairs made him feel like…like she really might care.  
  
He couldn’t think about that.  He was going back to Chino tomorrow.  To Dawn, AJ.  His job, his classes.  
  
This was a blip on the radar of his life, it had to be.  
  
The nurse was kind enough to loan him a calling card and he called George when he felt steadier.  
  
“Hey, George, it’s Ry,” he said when the man came to the phone.  
  
“Ryan, how’d things go?”  
  
“Fine.  But I didn’t do my research well enough, I have to stay overnight.  It’s typical, apparently.  But I’ll be back in town tomorrow.”  
  
“I’ve got the bed ready in the back for you.  Maybe you should come here first, AJ’s been by looking for you.”  
  
“Why?” Ryan asked, immediately alert.  
  
“From what I could tell between the cuss words is that your friends have been giving him hell about you missing school.  You didn’t tell anyone?”  
  
“No, but I’ll call Teresa.”  
  
“Her brother was one of the ones AJ mentioned.  Even though you don’t talk much, people miss you when you’re not around.”  
  
“Thanks, George.  I’ll…I might take you up on that offer of a bed.  I’m sorer than I thought I would be.  I’ll let you know.  Thanks,” Ryan said, hanging up.  
  
He dialed Teresa and prayed that she’d be home.  If AJ was asking George questions, then he was bound to try to beat the truth out of Dawn.  
  
“Hola,” Arturo answered.  
  
“Arturo, what the fuck is going on?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Ryan?  You’ve got a lot of balls to be asking me that, you’re the one that just disappeared.  Where the fuck are you?”  
  
“I’ll be back tomorrow, I had something to take care of, but George said you got into it with AJ…”  
  
“Trey’s worried shitless, Ry.  When I called up there today and told him that you missed school, he went batshit – and I know how crazy AJ can be, we thought he’d killed you or something…”  
  
“I’m not dead, I’m fine…”  
  
“Then why won’t you tell anyone where you are?” Arturo countered.  
  
“Because if AJ finds out, he probably will kill me, Arturo,” Ryan whispered. “I just needed one day away, one goddamn day and now everything just gone to shit…” he sighed. “You okay?”  
  
“Yeah, Eddie’s got a hell of a shiner, though,” Arturo replied.  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“That’s what you get for keeping secrets.  And call your fucking brother when you get back, okay?  He’s got it hard enough without worrying about you.”  
  
Ryan winced at the dial tone and pondered throwing the phone across the room, but decided to calmly put it down instead.  
  
The doctor came in to check him over again and Ryan made a decision. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“I just called my neighbor, and my Mom needs me at home, it’s an emergency…is there any way you can release me? I’ll sign a waiver, but it’s urgent that I get out of here tonight,” he said.  
  


* * *

  
Ryan slept for most of the bus ride back and it was after midnight when he got off at his stop.  
  
He was sore as hell, walking really hurt from where they’d taken the bone marrow from his hip but he hoped that he’d gotten back in time to keep AJ from doing something stupid to Dawn.  
  
His house was dark and AJ’s car wasn’t there but he wasn’t sure what to expect when he walked in the front door.  
  
He definitely wasn’t expecting what he saw.  
  
He went into the living room, then the kitchen and finally to his mom’s bedroom.  The bottles and garbage was nothing new, but the lack of furniture and pictures on the wall…that was new.  
  
His room was reasonably intact, apart from the lack of sheets on the bed and the missing curtains.  A note was sitting on his pillow and he sat down on the bare mattress.  
  
 _I told AJ. I’m sorry. He got a job out of town and I’m going with him. You’re a good kid and I know you’ll be okay. Don’t try to find me and tell your brother I love him. – Mom_  
  
“Ryan.”  Teresa’s voice startled him from his daze.  
  
“Hey,” he replied blankly, not looking at her standing in his doorway.  
  
“Come with me, Ryan, you can stay with me tonight, we’ll tell you what your mom said before she left.”  
  
“When?” Ryan asked.  This couldn’t be happening.  What the fuck was he going to do now?  
  
“A few hours ago.  I don’t think they’d been paying the rent and tonight, after you talked to ‘Turo, we saw them loading up boxes,” Teresa said, walking over to him. “You okay?”  
  
“Not really, no,” he replied honestly.  
  
“Come on, Ryan.  Mom’s in bed, and Eddie and ‘Turo are a little anxious to talk to you.  So am I.  You promised me you’d tell me what’s going on,” Teresa said, pulling him to his feet and pushing him toward the door.  She paused, seeing the wince that ran across his face.  “What’s wrong with you?”  
  
“I need to sit down,” Ryan muttered, not answering but letting her walk beside him across the front yard to her house.  
  
Arturo held open the door, no trace of the anger from the phone call on his face as he walked in. “You all right, man?”  
  
Ryan shrugged, and immediately regretted it.  But he wasn’t as concerned with the pain in his back as he should be.  He was more concerned with what the fuck he was going to do now.  
  
“You look like shit,” Eddie echoed when he sat down on the couch in the living room.  
  
“Feel worse,” he replied honestly. “Sorry about your face,” he added, spotting the ugly bruise on Eddie’s eye.  
  
“Not like you did it,” Eddie replied, shrugging. “Where’ve you been?”  
  
“Newport,” Ryan replied. “I’m still supposed to be there, but ‘Turo got me worried and I came back early.  Pissed some doctors off pretty bad.”  
  
“Doctors?” Teresa asked.  
  
“Since Mom apparently told AJ, there’s no reason for me to keep the secret anymore, I guess,” Ryan sighed.  Things were just…too much right now for him to have to worry about lying.  And these guys, no matter what the reasons, were his friends and they seemed genuinely worried. “I’m adopted, right?  Mom told me years ago, they got me from some orphanage when things were still good and my dad wasn’t a convicted felon yet.  The other day, this suit showed up at my door and says that my real mom’s kid has cancer and he needs a bone marrow transplant.  He asked me to take the test, I matched and I went up there today and made the donation.”  
  
The room was silent and he wondered if he’d made a mistake.  
  
“What the fuck would you do that for?  For some kid you don’t even know?” Eddie asked.  
  
“He’s a little kid, what was I supposed to do, let him die because I didn’t want to be ‘inconvenienced’?  He’s a fucking little kid that’s been laid up with cancer for months.”  
  
“You don’t owe them anything, they gave you away,” Eddie continued.  
  
“I knew you guys wouldn’t understand, why do you think I didn’t tell anyone?  It was my choice, I had to do it and I just needed one fucking day, AJ kicks me out all the time, this wasn’t supposed to be a big deal until you guys made it a big deal,” Ryan snapped.  
  
“This is a big deal, Ryan, are you okay?  Are you supposed to be out of the hospital?” Teresa asked, glaring at Eddie for a moment.  
  
“I’m fucking tired and sore and I have no idea what I’m going to do now…” Ryan admitted, leaning forward and putting his face in his hands to avoid their stares.  
  
He could deal with this, he just needed to think.  He needed his back to stop hurting and his friends to leave him alone and then he could think.  
  
He had a few hundred in the safe at George’s.  Maybe Teresa and ‘Turo would let him put some of his things here before the landlord cleaned out the house.  He needed a plan, he needed to calm down and come up with a plan.  
  
“Ry, that…that was really cool of you to do that,” Arturo said quietly. “Especially for the mom that gave you up.”  
  
“What did Mom say?  Teresa said you talked to her before she left – did she say where she was going?”  
  
“AJ was watching her like a hawk, she didn’t say much but she said that you shouldn’t look for her, that AJ was pissed,” Eddie answered.  
  
“Yeah, what’s new about that?” he muttered. “I can’t believe she just…left.  She knew I’d be home tomorrow…” He almost laughed.  He’d told Kirsten that his mom had never left him, that she’d taken care of him and here she was – leaving him.  
  
He was so fucking close to getting on his own, so close to having his life under control – just a few months until he was sixteen - and now this happens.  
  
“I’ll tell you one thing, it ain’t your karma, Ry,” Eddie said after a beat.  
  
He sighed.  “I’m going to stay at the diner, he’s got the bed in the back ready for me, unless he’s closed down and left town in the past few hours, anyway…”  
  
“You can stay here, Mom will understand, Ryan,” Teresa offered immediately.  
  
Ryan glanced at Eddie and shook his head. “I might need to hold out on crashing on your couch for a few days, looks like I might need a place to crash for a little longer than overnight and I need to keep my options open.  But I wouldn’t mind a lift,” he said.  
  
“I’ll drive you,” Eddie said, standing up.  
  
“Thanks,” Ryan said, following him out before Teresa could protest.  
  


* * *

  
  
“He signed out, AMA, the doctors said he had a family emergency that couldn’t wait until morning,” Caleb announced quietly.  
  
“I didn’t think our meeting went that bad,” Jimmy replied, glancing at Kirsten to gauge her reaction, but she didn’t look away from Seth’s sleeping form.  
  
Caleb waited to see what Kirsten was going to say, but she didn’t move. “Kiki?”  
  
“He has responsibilities of his own,” she said, not letting go of Seth’s hand.  
  
Caleb looked at Jimmy and followed him into the hallway when he stood up.  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
“It’s possible he had an actual emergency, and that he wasn’t running from the conversation,” Caleb replied, but he didn’t believe it.  
  
“Seth’s transplant is tomorrow, Kirsten’s got her hands full.  I’ll…let’s give him a couple of days.  I don’t want to scare him off any more than I already have.  And I should get home and talk to Julie a little more,” Jimmy sighed.  
  
“You told her?” Caleb asked.  
  
“Yeah, before I came over here.  She took it…entirely too well.  I need to get back, though.  I’ll call you tomorrow, see how Seth’s procedure went.”  
  
Caleb nods. “Call me if you hear from him?”  
  
“I doubt I will, I didn’t have a chance to give him my number,” Jimmy replied.  
  
Caleb watched him walk away and tried to think of the next step to bring his new grandson into the family.  
  


* * *

  
  
“You gonna tell Trey?” Eddie asked, smoking a cigarette with Ryan on the bumper of his car outside the darkened diner.  
  
“You will if I don’t, right?”  Ryan replied.  
  
“Not if you ask me not to.  We can tell him some bullshit, keep him from stressing out,” Eddie replied.  
  
Ryan glanced at Eddie and was flattered by the offer.  Eddie wasn’t a bad guy, he was a good friend and Ryan knew he’d do right by Teresa.  But it didn’t mean that Ryan had to like it. “That’s okay.  I’ll tell him, he’ll know you’re lying.  He can’t bluff worth shit, but he can spot a lie a mile away.  You still going up on Saturday?”  
  
“Planning on it.  You want in?”  
  
“Yeah.  I’m going to crash, though, but I’ll try to give you a call.”  
  
“Take care of yourself, man.  If it comes down to it, you know you always have a place to sleep on my floor.”  
  
Ryan smiled. “You have got to get yourself some furniture, dude.”  
  
“I know, I know, but one thing at a time. Got an apartment and a car – the furniture can wait a few months,” Eddie replied.  
  
Ryan didn’t hear Eddie pull off until he was safely inside the closed diner. George had a house a few miles away and wasn’t here but Ryan had a key and he could explain everything when he came in to open up in the morning.  
  
Right now, he had to sleep.  
  
He took the pills the doctors had given him and stretched out on the cot in the dark stockroom.  
  
He hoped this wasn’t going to be his new home.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan stayed on the cot for most of Friday, the waitresses and George bringing him water and food.  He had no idea that his coworkers knew so much about him, but it seemed everyone he knew had heard about his mom leaving town.  Mainly because of AJ owing so many people money.  He was glad that the diner was a safe zone of sorts, even the drug dealers knew Ryan from his work at the diner and he wasn’t worried about them retaliating against him.  
  
AJ made no secret of his dislike of Ryan.  The only reason he hadn’t run Ryan off long ago was because of Dawn.  
  
Ryan had to wonder if his mom had left only to protect him.  But if she’d wanted to do that, she could have just continued to keep the secret about his adoption secret.  
  
Ryan didn’t know what hurt the most.  He was just too hurt to decide and his head was pounding as an aftereffect of the painkillers he was chewing to ease the gnawing ache in his hip.  
  
He’d talked to the doctor twice, to assure him that he was fine and Gordon had picked up his prescription from the drugstore.  
  
He tried to think positive.  He didn’t have it so bad.  He had friends looking out for him, and Eddie had come by and seriously offered to let him move in if he was willing to pitch in on rent and upkeep.  
  
But he was 15 and he was on the radar because, of all things, AJ’s parole status.  When the regular parole officer came by AJ’s last known address, he’d definitely call in Ryan’s absence to child services.  Every time in the past few years that social services got in their business, it had been because of cops coming down because of AJ.  Social services had a file on him and he didn’t want to be stuck in a group home – it was so easy to fall into trouble at those places.  
  
He was on borrowed time.  
  
“Ryan? Why aren’t you resting?” Teresa asked, walking into the stockroom.  
  
“I’m totally lying down,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You could totally lie down at my house.  At least you’d have a real bed and not this flimsy cot,” she said, sitting down on a gigantic can of peas.  
  
“I know.  But I need to think.  And I can’t think around you,” he replied honestly.  
  
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “So, your brother called again.  They have visitation tonight from 7-9 and he’s begging Eddie to bring you.  I never knew Trey cared so much.”  
  
“He cares, I guess.  But I thought my Mom cared, too,” he added. “Trey just doesn’t have anything else to worry about.  He might need me for something sometime.”  
  
“Don’t say that,” she whispered.  
  
“I met them, you know.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“My real mom and dad.  They came to the hospital room,” Ryan confessed.  
  
“What are they like?” Teresa asked, listening.  Nobody listened to him like Teresa.  
  
“I don’t know.  I should back up, I met my grandfather first.  He paid for me to stay in a hotel Wednesday night, AJ was being a bitch and the guy was waiting outside my house.”  
  
“In a Jag?” Teresa asked.  
  
“Yeah. Why?” Ryan questioned.  
  
“There’s this old guy in the diner.  Been pecking at a laptop since lunch, according to George.  And who do you know in Chino with a laptop?” Teresa asked.  
  
“Are you serious?”  
  
“Yeah. But finish talking, I need to hear this, you need to talk about it,” she urged.  
  
“I just need to think,” Ryan replied, sitting up.  
  
“Then think out loud,” she said.  
  
He sighed, scrubbing at his eyes with his hand to try and clear his head.  “So, my ‘grandfather’ says that my real mom got knocked up at seventeen and he made her give me up for adoption.  Said she had a bright future and didn’t need a kid.  And my dad, he didn’t know until, like, a couple of days ago,” Ryan said.  
  
“Do they want to see you?”  
  
“Yeah.  All of them, the mom, the dad, the ‘grandpa’.  Hell, my mom’s husband wants me to meet the kid – do you know I have a new brother and two sisters?  What if I’d grown up and randomly ended up dating one of my sisters?  I mean…what the fuck happened to my life?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Hey, if you need the cash, you could always go on Springer,” Teresa suggested.  
  
He gave her a look and she smiled. “So, you up for going to see Trey?  Eddie’s out back, he already filled up that gas-guzzler of his for the trip and your box of stuff is in the trunk.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.  But I should probably talk to that guy out there,” he said.  
  
“You mean your grandfather?”  
  
“Don’t rub it in,” Ryan said, leaning forward to get to his feet and accepting her arm for support.  
  
“Mind if I come with?  I’ll help you make a quick exit.”  
  
“Sure, but tell George what’s up and give me a minute with him,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You just let me know when you’re ready,” Teresa said, straightening his shirt and smoothing down his hair before walking out into the kitchen with him.  
  
Ryan spotted Caleb immediately by the door, keeping watch on his Jag no doubt.  
  
He walked over and slid into the booth.  
  
“There you are.  I was hoping you’d come out of the woodwork sometime,” Caleb replied, closing his laptop. “How’re you feeling, Ryan?”  
  
“I’m getting by.  How’s your grandson?” Ryan replied.  
  
“One of them is out of surgery and doing fine.  Another one seems to be on the verge of falling over,” Caleb replied evenly.  
  
“I’m getting by,” Ryan repeated.  
  
“I went by your house.  There’s a notice on the door,” Caleb added.  
  
“Yeah, I might’ve heard something about that.”  
  
“Where’s Dawn, Ryan?” Caleb asked.  
  
“That’s not really your business.”  
  
“Not true.  Totally my business,” Caleb replied. “Think whatever you want, son, but this is my business.”  
  
Ryan stared at him.  
  
“I’m a pretty powerful man, Ryan.  I’m on a lot of committees, I get Christmas cards from the Governor, and it wouldn’t exactly be good for my image to have an illegitimate grandson living on the streets like a vagrant.”  
  
“I’m not a vagrant,” Ryan replied.  
  
“And I’m not actually doing this for my image.  I’m doing this for my family, and you’re a part of that now.  You don’t have to like me, ask Sandford all about that, but you do have to accept me as a part of your life,” Caleb stated.  
  
“Fuck you,” Ryan replied after a beat.  “You have no right to be here.”  
  
“I hate to say this, but look around you.  What do you have to lose?  Where’s Dawn?  How long are you going to be able to sleep in a closet and smell grease fumes?  I want to help you, I want to be in your life.  I’m not here to make things worse for you or harder, I’m not here to hurt you and I’m definitely not going to just walk away this time,” Caleb said.  
  
Ryan raised his hand and Teresa immediately walked over. “I’ve got plans tonight.  Thank you very much for your concern,” he said, emphasizing each word. “But, I’m getting by.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Trey stood up, his chair scraping across the floor as Ryan and Eddie walked into the visiting area. He hated his brother seeing him like this, the jumpsuit was loose and scratchy against his skin.  
  
Ryan didn’t look up, but Trey knew he saw him. Trey didn’t care, he was used to Ryan hiding behind those damned eyelashes and he pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly to make sure he was still intact and breathing.  
  
“Loosen up on him, man, you’re suffocating him,” Eddie snorted. “Didn’t know you’d gone gay already.”  
  
“Fuck off,” Trey muttered, releasing Ryan and patting his unbruised cheek lightly with his hand. “What the fuck, Ry?”  
  
“It’s complicated,” Ryan replied, as if he thought that was enough.  
  
The guard cleared his throat and Trey sat down, not wanting to piss him off before he found out why his brother had those bags under his eyes and was walking like he’d been fucked from behind.  
  
“I brought your stuff, the guards are going to put it in your cell after they check it,” Ryan said, sitting down across from him.  
  
Trey let him be for the moment, turning to Eddie. “So, you finally got that fucking clunker running?”  
  
“Hell yeah, you are never in charge of transportation again, you stupid bastard,” Eddie replied.  
  
“You ain’t gotta tell me twice.  I’ll never complain about taking the bus again.”  He lowered his voice. “Prison ain’t like juvie, I’m just saying.”  
  
“You all right?” Ryan asked.  
  
“You know me, LB, I’m on top of it,” Trey replied.  He didn’t want Ryan to worry about him, he always worried too much.  
  
“You ain’t just lying to make us feel better are you?” Eddie asked, watching him.  
  
“When have I lied to you?” Trey replied, feigning innocence. “You act like I’m a convicted felon or something!”  
  
“Whatever,” Eddie muttered. “I hate these places, make me think I’m being watched.  I’ll check you next weekend, Trey, I think you guys need to talk.” Eddie left the table and Ryan heard the buzz echoing that the exit door was opening.  
  
“You gonna talk or just look at me like somebody ate your puppy?” Trey asked.  
  
“Mom left town.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“She left. With AJ,” Ryan said. Trey watched him pull a folded piece of paper from his pocket and push it across the table..  
  
Trey skimmed it.  “That fucking whore,” he whispered.  
  
“And you know how I was adopted?”  
  
“That was just some shit Mom told you to make you loyal to her, you’re an Atwood through and through,” Trey replied. “Dawn wanted you to owe her, she knew you’d try to earn your keep if you thought you weren’t hers.”  
  
“It’s true,” Ryan replied, hurt on his face.  
  
“No, man, it’s not,” Trey replied. He hated the way Dawn manipulated Ryan.  
  
“I met them. My biological parents. My real mom’s son has cancer and they couldn’t find a match for his bone marrow and…they tracked me down.”  
  
Trey stared at him, genuinely stunned into silence.  
  
“And yeah, I gave the kid some bone marrow, and I know you’re going to say I’m stupid and that I should have sold it to them and made them pay for it, but…I just wanted to do the right thing – and while I was gone, you sicced Eddie and ‘Turo on AJ and everything went to shit,” Ryan muttered. “Mom ditched me and I’ve got these strangers sniffing around and…and I don’t even know which way is up.”  
  
“Ryan…”  
  
“I need you to be cool.  I need you to take care of yourself and stay out of trouble so I don’t have to worry about you because I honestly think I’m going to melt down if one more thing happens,” Ryan said, meeting his gaze. “Can you please do that for me?  Because I need you to get out of here as soon as possible.  Right now, you’re the only ‘family’ that I trust.”  
  
Trey couldn’t hide from Ryan’s piercing eyes, Ryan was his weakness, his Achilles heel and he knew how to push Trey’s buttons like no one else. “I swear, Ryan.  I swear, I’ll be safe,” he said.  
  
“Good.”  
  
“Ryan.  I can’t even process what you’re telling me yet, but I need to know what you’re going to do.  I need to know you’re safe, too,” Trey replied, needing to reassert his place as the ‘big brother’.  
  
“Eddie says I can crash with him, but I expect social services will be coming around pretty soon.  I’m…I’m just taking things one day at a time.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  
  
The guard announced that visiting hours was almost over and Trey watched Ryan straighten up, his body stiff and sluggish. “You okay from the bone marrow thing?”  
  
“Sore as a bitch, but it’s normal and the doc says it’ll get better as long as I take it easy,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You take it easy then.  And call me, you get the list of times from the lady before you leave,” Trey said.  
  
“Teresa’s got it.  And I will.  And I’ll come up when I can, you let me know what you need,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You know what I need,” Trey said. “You – safe and healthy.”  
  
“Yeah, back at you,” Ryan replied, standing up.  
  


* * *

  
“You going to be okay?” Teresa asked, turned around in the seat to watch Ryan climb out.  
  
“Yeah,” Ryan replied, glimpsing the Jaguar in the same parking space in front of the diner as when they’d left.  
  
“What are you going to do?” Eddie called from the driver’s seat.  
  
He glanced at them, leaning against Teresa’s door as he lit a cigarette. “I don’t know.”  
  
“You have to know something, you’ve been saying you don’t know for days,” Eddie replied.  
  
He turned around and leaned in the car. “Trey’s locked up.  You and Eddie are pretty together, more together than you and I ever were and my mom skipped town.  What’s left in Chino for me?”  
  
“We’re your friends, Ryan,” Eddie replied. “We’ll look out for you.”  
  
“That’s not what I’m saying.  I’m saying…what reason do I have to stay?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Where will you go?” Teresa asked, trying to avoid Eddie’s glance.  
  
“Anywhere but here.  I can drop out of sight for a few months until I turn 16 and then settle up,” Ryan replied. “But these people…”  
  
“They’re your family, Ryan, and it seemed like they want to help if what your grandfather was saying before was true…what about them?” Teresa asked. Ryan should’ve known she was eavesdropping on his conversation with Caleb.  
  
“I don’t need their help,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You might be out of options.  I’d rather you have to go with some guy that drives a Jag and looks like he’s never thrown a punch in his life, than have to worry about you tracking your mom down or doing some stupid trying to hide from social services,” Teresa said.  
  
“She might be right,” Eddie echoed. “Trey’s not here, you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself and social services would leave you alone if you were with a blood relative.  Maybe you should think about it.”  
  
“I don’t know them…” Ryan replied.  
  
“We’re just saying that you should keep your options open,” Teresa said. “If you show up at my door tonight, Arturo will have your sleeping bag ready and if you show up at Eddie’s next week, he’ll have a place cleared out for you.  But if you disappear, we’ll track you down like a bail jumper, we clear?”  
  
“Yeah. Thanks, guys. For everything.  I’ll call you tomorrow, no matter what happens,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You do that,” Eddie nodded, revving the engine and until it rattled and sputtered.  
  
Ryan watched them pull away and flicked his cigarette into the street before making his way into the diner.  
  
Caleb gave him a wave from behind his laptop but Ryan ignored him, going directly into the back to talk to George.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Has that guy been here the whole time?”  
  
“Yeah.  I sat down and had a talk with him a couple of hours ago.  Made a few calls about him.  He seems sincere,” George replied, leaning against the wall as Ryan sat down on the cot and rolled his shoulders to relieve some of the tension in his back from riding in the car.  
  
“Yeah, whatever.  You going to tell me to stop being stubborn, too?” Ryan muttered.  
  
“You’re in a bad spot.  You know I’ll do whatever I can, but you know you can’t stay here forever.  You’re a smart kid, you know the deal,” George replied.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“You going to talk to him again?” George asked, nodding toward the diner.  
  
“I need to find somewhere to take a shower and lie the fuck down.  But yeah, I guess I have to talk to him if I want him to leave,” Ryan replied.  
  
“I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, and I know how hard it is to get past what these people did to you, but…I’m asking you, as a friend, to keep an open mind,” George said.  
  
Ryan sighed and pushed himself to his feet, walking out into the diner again.  One of the waitresses pushed a glass of juice into his hand and felt his forehead before letting him continue on to Caleb’s table.  
  
“Have a nice visit with Trey?”  
  
Ryan didn’t reply, taking a gulp of the juice before pushing it aside.  
  
Caleb waited, watching him carefully.  
  
“What’s changed in the past few hours?”  
  
“Your mind, I hope,” Caleb replied.  
  
Ryan looked at him.  
  
“Look, you’re tired, I’m tired and despite the nice food and company here, I’m thinking you need a break, too.  It’s Friday, you have two days before you need to be at school and your boss says he’s not planning on letting you work until Monday night at the earliest.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“Come back to Newport with me.  Just for the weekend so you can get your strength back.  I’ll take you by your house to get some things if you want, but I can get you some things once we get back, no strings.”  
  
Ryan stared at him. “No strings.”  
  
“None.  I’m willing to negotiate, but I look at you and I see a kid that needs some time to think.  I can give that to you, but I don’t think I’ve seen you slow down since I met you.  What do you say?”  
  


* * *

  
Caleb felt like jumping for joy when he pulled into his driveway with Ryan in the passenger seat.  He wasn’t a patient man, but he felt like patience was the only way to get through to this kid and it had paid off.  
  
Ryan had come willingly.  He’d even let Caleb into the slum that he called a ‘house’ to let Caleb help him gather some clothes and ‘supplies’.  
  
The house had been mostly empty and Caleb couldn’t believe that Ryan’s mother, adoptive or not, would take off without telling him.  At least as a baby, Ryan hadn’t known the difference but he knew it had to be tearing Ryan up inside to have his mother abandon him right now.  
  
“You live here?” Ryan questioned, his eyes wide as he took in the large mansion on the beach.  
  
“Yes, I bought this place after my wife died a few years ago.  Kirsten and Sandy took the house I lived in before.  It has a lot of memories of my wife and I wanted a fresh start.”  
  
“You live here alone?” Ryan asked, waiting until Caleb got out before making a move to exit the Jag.  
  
“Haven’t really found anyone that I feel like sharing a house with until recently,” Caleb replied, making sure that the offer for Ryan to stay as long as he liked was still obvious. “Come on in, I promise it’s not as bad on the inside, I have several guest rooms for you to choose from.”  
  
Ryan shrugged his backpack onto his shoulder and followed him, still taking in the landscaped front yard complete with fountains and koi pond lit up by tiki lights.  
  
Caleb unlocked the door and flipped on the lights, the large chandelier in the main entry room making him realize how lavish this must seem to Ryan compared to the house he was coming from.  
  
“Well, I can see you were lying about being loaded,” Ryan replied quietly.  
  
“No, I wasn’t.”  
  
“And you don’t think I’m just casing the place?”  
  
“I don’t think you’re casing the place, you haven’t taken anything I’ve offered you so far outside of a hotel room.  Come on, I’ll show you the room I’m thinking will be best for you tonight, you said something about wanting a shower earlier,” Caleb said, patting Ryan on the back and leading him up the spiral staircase to the second floor where the bedrooms were situated.  
  
He wanted to make Ryan as comfortable as possible – no, he _needed_ to make Ryan as comfortable as possible.  With Seth recovering from the transplant and being on thin ice with the risk of rejection, he needed to make sure Ryan was safe and stable to put Kirsten’s mind at ease.  
  
She hadn’t mentioned Ryan much after her meeting with him, but Caleb knew that she was hurting too much to talk about it.  She was torn between needing to support the son that was dying and needing to reach out to the son she’d left behind.  But with Seth in such dire straits, she couldn’t do all that she wanted to connect with Ryan without feeling like a neglectful mother to Seth.  It was an impossible situation and Caleb felt helpless to help her.  But he could do this.  
  
He pushed open the door to the large guestroom and showed Ryan the King-sized bed and large bathroom complete with shower stall and separate porcelain tub.  
  
“It beats the stockroom,” Ryan said, putting his backpack down by the door and turning to watch Caleb.  
  
“I’ll leave you for a bit, I want to make some calls and recharge my laptop’s battery.  Take as much time as you need and I’ll be back to check on you.  I’m going to get the housekeeper to make me some dinner, would you like something?”  
  
Ryan shrugged, but Caleb didn’t miss the flash of interest on his face at the mention of food. “You don’t cook?”  
  
“No, kid, I don’t.  But I pay my servants very well.  Is there anything you need?”  
  
“I’ll let you know.  Right now I just want to take a hot shower and get off my feet.  Take another dose of those pills, maybe.”  
  
“Good idea.  I’ll leave you to it.  Just yell if you need me, I’ll be downstairs and if you’re up to it before you crash, I’ll show you around the house so you won’t get lost if you need something.”  
  
Ryan seemed surprised that he was being given free rein but Caleb had learned that people were more likely to trust you if you extended similar trust in return.  
  
Caleb left him in the room, leaving the door open a crack and didn’t relax until he heard the bathroom door shut inside and the shower turn on.  
  
He pulled out his phone and dialed Sandy.  “Sandford? How’s Seth?”  
  
“Still pretty out of it, but the doctors are encouraged.  There are no signs that his body is rejecting the bone marrow, but he’s got a few more days of observation before they tell us anything definite.  Where are you now?  Still in Chino?”  
  
“No, I’m home, I’ll be by to see you tomorrow.  Ryan’s here,” Caleb added.  He’d filled Sandy in on Ryan’s situation as he learned of it from the eviction notice and George, and Sandy had given him advice on coaxing Ryan into accepting him.  Caleb never thought he’d say it, but Sandy had a way with kids that Caleb had never grasped and his input had been priceless in this situation.  
  
“He’s there?”  
  
“In the shower as we speak.  I wanted to let you know.  I don’t know what’s going to happen on Monday, but for the next couple of days, he’s safe here in Newport.”  
  
“I’m going to tell Kirsten.”  
  
“Okay.  And I’ll keep you informed.  I doubt I’ll bring him to the hospital tomorrow, he’s still skittish as hell and I don’t think he feels that well after the past few days he’s had,” Caleb replied.  
  
“Thank you, Caleb.  This will be a load off Kirsten’s mind, and mine.”  
  
“If she wants to talk to me, tell her I’m here,” Caleb said, having offered the same phrase at the end of each call to Sandy, but hearing nothing from Kirsten.  She hadn’t forgiven him.  
  
But he was taking things one step at a time and he’d win his daughter back and convince his grandson that he was a good man after all.  
  


* * *

  
  
Ryan felt much better after his shower.  He felt spoiled when he realized that he’d been letting the hot water pound against his back for so long and it hadn’t run cold yet.  
  
Caleb was fucking rich.  Richer than Ryan had thought, even with the Jag and Armani suits. This house was unbelievably elaborate and he knew that the paintings on the wall were probably worth millions if he’d paid attention in his art classes.  
  
He dried his hair with the plush towel and replaced it on the rack to dry as he finished dressing in his frayed jeans and wife-beater.  He stuck out like a sore thumb in this place, but he was here for now.  
  
He wasn’t sure if it was Teresa or George that finally tipped the scales, or if it had just been that he was tired of fighting so hard.  There was only so long that he could pretend like he had things under control.  
  
He didn’t want to spend the next few months sleeping on the floor or surrounded by canned goods.  He didn’t want to make things difficult between Teresa and Eddie or have cops and child services harassing George because of him.  
  
He needed a place to stay and he was here.  That had to be a good enough reason for tonight.  
  
He was even considering going to Mrs. Kat or the Coach on Monday to try and find out what his options were. He didn’t think he could be emancipated at 15, but maybe there was something he could do that would keep him out of a group home.  
  
Or he could stay here.  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
He followed his nose from the room, down the stairs and into a shiny – ginormous – kitchen where a plump Hispanic woman was humming to herself and cooking.  
  
“Ah, you must be Ryan, Mr. Nichol said you’d be around for a few days, I miss cooking for more than one person so I hope you brought your appetite,” she said in broken English.  
  
Ryan replied to her in Spanish, shaking her hand and complimenting her on the savory smells.  
  
“Wow, shiny new nephew is bilingual,” a voice announced.  
  
Ryan glanced over, wondering if now was when he was getting shipped back to Chino, but was surprised to see a beautiful young woman in her early twenties walking over to him.  
  
“I’m Hailey, your aunt.  Kirsten’s my big sister and wow, you are a big boy,” she said, looking him from head to toe.  
  
The cook muttered something in Spanish about ‘hellfire and brimstone’ but Ryan was too busy trying to shake off his ‘aunt’s’ steady stare.  He was more comfortable with the maid than he was with this woman.  
  
“Leave Rosa to her work, I’ll show you where we have to smoke our cigarettes so the gardener doesn’t yell, you look like you need one,” Hailey announced, linking elbows with him and guiding him through the large doors onto a patio that overlooked the ocean.  
  
“Wow,” he said.  
  
“He speaks,” Hailey snorted, lighting a cigarette and holding one out for him.  He accepted it even though it wasn’t his brand.  
  
“What’s your deal?” Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
She shrugged. “I stay here sometimes when Kirsten and Sandy stay overnight at the hospital.  I didn’t know you were here, though.  It’s really nice to meet you.”  
  
“How do you know who I am?”  
  
“I saw you in Chino.  When Kirsten first told me a few days ago, I didn’t really believe her, I thought she’d finally lost it, but I started thinking about it and things started to make sense,” Hailey replied.  “She was different after she came back from ‘fat camp’.”  
  
“Fat camp?”  Ryan replied, confused again.  
  
“That’s what I told everyone when Mom took her away to have you.  She had been silent, almost sickly before she went away, crying all the time and yelling at Dad.  I don’t know what happened while she was away, well, apart from the obvious, but when she came back…she was different.  She didn’t laugh, she broke up with Jimmy even though everyone knew she loved him – and she hated Mom and Dad.  She went to college and I honestly thought she’d never come home.”  
  
Ryan listened, realizing that all of these people wanted to tell their side even if he didn’t want to hear it.  But he was listening.  As much as he tried to deny it, he wanted to know.  He wanted to know that Kirsten had regretted it, that she hadn’t wanted to give him away.  
  
“Then Mom got cancer and begged her to come home and she did.  Sat with her the whole time she was sick.  Then Mom died and Seth got sick,” Hailey said.  
  
“That sucks,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Yeah. It does.  You turning up is, like, a silver lining to this whole mess,” Hailey said.  
  
“Because of the transplant, yeah, I see your point,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“No, dude, that’s not it at all.  You’re the missing piece.  You’re what Kirsten lost at fat camp,” Hailey replied. “You are what this family needs, the missing link.”  
  
“If you say fat camp one more time,” Ryan warned and she laughed.  
  
“I like you already, kid,” Hailey said. “We are totally going to get drunk together when Dad’s not watching us from his bedroom,” she added, pointing up where Caleb was watching them from his window.  
  
Ryan immediately softened toward the woman.  She seemed the least threatening of everyone he’d met so far.  “You don’t think this whole thing is just weird?”  
  
“Honey, Newport is chock full of weird – you’ll see soon enough.  You’re going to fit in just fine around here,” she said, putting an arm around him and walking him back into the house.  
  
Ryan didn’t bother to tell her that he wasn’t planning on sticking around. He thought Hailey would probably listen about as well as her father.  
  


* * *

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
Hailey thought that Ryan was going to fall asleep in his plate, but he was holding on, despite his visible exhaustion. She was stunned when she’d spotted him in the kitchen and wanted to pull her father aside and ask him what he’d done to get Ryan here, but she had to stay cool. At least, that’s what her father was doing. The kid had a bruise on his face and was quiet almost to the point of being sullen but he wasn’t acting as if he’d been kidnapped or anything.  
  
Ryan finally pushed his plate aside and glanced over at Caleb through his bangs. “I think I’m going to go to bed now, if that’s okay.”  
  
“Of course,” Caleb replied, watching silently as Ryan gathered his plate and glass and took it into the kitchen.  
  
“You don’t have to do that,” Hailey said when Caleb didn’t make a move to stop him from cleaning up after himself. Rosa simply smiled and took the dishes from Ryan, speaking softly to him in Spanish and giving Hailey a pointed look. She wished she’d taken Spanish in high school so she would know what the housekeeper had said. Rosa had been with their family as long as Hailey could remember and split her time between Caleb’s and Kirsten’s house.  
  
“It’s no problem, I’m not used to having someone clean up after me,” Ryan replied, giving Hailey a smile for the first time. “I’m going to bed.”  
  
“No argument here, but we can’t have Rosa getting lazy,” Hailey replied. Rosa cuffed her on the back of the head as she went to clear the table.  
  
“I think she likes you,” Ryan said, disappearing up the stairs.  
  
Hailey went back to the table and sat down across from Caleb who was drinking his merlot and acting like nothing strange was going on. “All right, spill.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Caleb asked.  
  
“What did you do? How’d you get him here?” Hailey demanded, keeping her voice low. “If you blackmailed him, you know Kirsten’s going to kill you.”  
  
“I’m insulted you think so badly of me, my own daughter!” Caleb replied, feigning insult.  
  
“Dad…” Hailey warned.  
  
“I just waited him out. He came around. His mother, the one in Chino, she cleaned out his house while he was in the hospital and skipped town. He spent the night in that diner’s stockroom. He’s got a support system there, but nobody that can take responsibility for him. He’s…he’s on his own,” Caleb explained.  
  
“And he came with you?”  
  
“Not without some convincing,” Caleb replied. “But I was patient and…Sandy gave me some tips. The kid’s smart, real smart, and we can’t treat him like a kid when he’s been acting like an adult for most of his life. We need him to trust us.”  
  
“Kirsten know yet?”  
  
“I called Sandy when I got home. She knows, I think. But I’m not sure what she’s going to do. She’s not really talking to me yet,” Caleb admitted.  
  
“I haven’t had time to talk to anyone,” Kirsten announced, walking in and startling them both. Rosa immediately brought in a new plate of food as she sat down at the table.  
  
Kirsten looked exhausted, she had dark circles under her eyes and no makeup after staying by Seth’s side.  
  
“Eat, honey, you look like you need it,” Caleb urged.  
  
She took a bite from the plate and chewed deliberately before looking over at him. “How’s Ryan?”  
  
“You just missed him, went upstairs to bed. Probably where you should be headed,” Hailey replied.  
  
“Seth’s convinced that he’s ‘healed’, said he feels better already,” Kirsten sighed, ignoring her comment about sleeping. “I know he’s just trying to make us feel better, but all I can do is worry that it’s not going to work.” She turned to her dad again. “Thank you. For bringing Ryan home. Sandy told me everything…and even though I’m too tired to ask you everything I want to ask you, I do want to say thank you.”  
  
“You don’t have to thank me. It was the least I could do. You don’t worry about anything and go get some rest. Rosa will make us all a big breakfast tomorrow and we can talk,” Caleb said.  
  
Hailey took that as her cue and threw an arm around her sister. “Come on, let’s get you upstairs to bed. You’re no good to anyone if you can’t hold your eyes open.”  
  
Kirsten acquiesced and let Hailey take her upstairs.  
  
The door to the room Ryan was staying in was half-open and Kirsten paused. Hailey dropped her arm and waited to see what she was going to do.  
  
Kirsten stepped into the room. Ryan was asleep, turned on his side and sleeping on one edge, as if afraid to rumple the sheets of the large bed. She didn’t hesitate, walking over to the bed and pulling the blanket up over his shoulders and leaning over to plant a soft kiss on his forehead.  
  
He stirred slightly, but didn’t open his eyes, rolling over on his other side and settling under the adjusted blankets.  
  
Kirsten looked at him for a long moment before rejoining Hailey in the hall and pulling the door closed.  
  
“You all right?”  
  
“Yes,” Kirsten replied. And Hailey almost believed her.  
  
\----------------  
  
  
Ryan woke up as dawn was shining through the window. His back ached, but not as much as the previous morning.  
  
He knew someone had come in the night before and kissed him goodnight, but he’d been too exhausted to process who it was. He hoped it wasn’t Caleb, because that would be downright creepy.  
  
He showered again, mainly to work the kinks out of his muscles with the hot water and changed into clean clothes, stuffing his dirty ones into his backpack. He saw where someone had brought in his other bags and placed them just inside the door.  
  
He hoped it was okay that he was up so early, but he didn’t think he could sleep anymore. He had too much on his mind. He paused long enough to make up the bed before leaving the room to see if anyone else was up.  
  
Rosa greeted him from the kitchen, in the middle of cooking a breakfast feast it seemed. He asked if she needed any help and the poor old lady seemed like she was going to fall over from surprise. She finally recovered enough to tell him no, and offered him a cup of coffee which he accepted gratefully.  
  
He figured he would go out back and have a cigarette with his coffee since he wasn’t expected to talk to anyone. He sat down on the patio in the spot Hailey had taken him to with the small ashtray hidden under the bush where she’d left it.  
  
He still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was related to people with this much money. He’d never had money, his family had always lived paycheck to paycheck, or robbery to robbery, as it had been sometimes. He’d never known what it was like to not have to worry about how to get food in his stomach or who was going to clean up the messes.  
  
“Mind if I sit?” Ryan glanced up and shrugged, sliding over so Kirsten could sit down. She pulled a cigarette from behind her ear. “You know, these things will kill you and I don’t approve of smoking,” she said.  
  
“Noted,” Ryan replied. “How’s Seth?”  
  
“Sandy says he’s harassing the candy-stripers already this morning, so he’s feeling better. Thank you for asking,” she said.  
  
They sat in silence for a few moments, their smoke drifting together into the morning.  
  
“Caleb said your mom died of cancer, too. Must’ve been tough when Seth got sick,” Ryan said.  
  
“It was. Still is. My mom and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but everything changes when people get sick,” she replied.  
  
Ryan nodded.  
  
“When I got pregnant with you, I told Mom and Dad. I think Dad would have let me keep you if it’d been his decision, but he was Mom’s partner and she wouldn’t hear of it. She was the queen of Newport, the head of the PTA, on all these charity boards and in charge of the church’s women’s committee. And that had never bothered me, but she was convinced that me having a child out of wedlock would ruin her reputation. She called me a slut,” Kirsten said. “It really hurt that her reputation meant more to her than I did.”  
  
“My mom,” Ryan started, before remembering who he was talking to. “Dawn, she always put her boyfriends first. If they wanted me and Trey to leave, we had to leave. If they beat on us, she would never intervene, saying that it was our fault for making things harder for her. And it never really bothered me until she left town without me.”  
  
“I always thought I’d figure things out when I got older. But I realize that getting older doesn’t mean you get wiser. People just do the best they can,” Kirsten replied.  
  
That was true. “Mom needs something that I can’t give her. And your mom probably needed those committees and stuff to fill a hole that you couldn’t fill.”  
  
“When she got sick, those committees weren’t sitting at her bedside,” Kirsten replied. “And your mom will realize one day how precious you are and what a mistake she’s made.”  
  
“Maybe. Or maybe she’ll get sick and ask me to come home,” Ryan replied.  
  
They lapsed into silence again.  
  
“I’m glad you’re here,” Kirsten said.  
  
“I can’t believe I’m here,” he replied quietly. “This all happened so fast, I haven’t really processed. I don’t know what I’m going to do about…anything.”  
  
“You’ll figure it out,” she said. “And if you need any advice, you can talk to Sandy, he knows lots of people at child services and he already likes you. Believe me, he doesn’t tell me anything about his clients and he’s been equally tight-lipped about you.”  
  
“Cool,” Ryan replied, recognizing the offer for what it was.  
  
“Let’s go get some breakfast, what do you say?” Kirsten said.  
  
“Sure.” Maybe today could be a different kind of day for him. He needed a good day.  
  
\------------------  
  
Kirsten felt better after her pre-breakfast chat with Ryan and she could tell that he was more relaxed in her presence than in the hospital.  
  
But she supposed losing everything could affect a person in strange ways. As happy as she was that he was here, she hated that it had happened this way – that his adopted mother had abandoned him and he’d had nowhere else to go.  
  
“So. I’ve met Sandy, what’s Jimmy’s wife like?” Ryan asked quietly. Hailey choked on her muffin, hiding behind her coffee cup. Ryan smiled.  
  
“She’s…an interesting woman,” Caleb said, his cheeks red.  
  
“That’s exactly the same way you described her the first time we met,” Ryan replied dryly.  
  
“Her name’s Julie and she’s very pretty. She’s…nice,” Kirsten attempted.  
  
Hailey snorted openly this time despite Kirsten’s glare. “I know we’re trying to go easy on the kid, but come on.” Hailey turned to Ryan and spoke clearly. “Jimmy met Julie around the same time Sandy proposed to Kirsten. She was a stripper and he was a rich boy with a broken heart.”  
  
Ryan smiled. “Okay, so she’s a nice, interesting gold-digger. Thanks for clearing that up.”  
  
“God, please don’t say that in front of Jimmy,” Kirsten laughed. “You have to make your own opinion about Julie. We’re all a little biased.”  
  
“Hailey’s been in love with the fool since she was a little girl,” Caleb teased.  
  
“Hey!” Hailey protested.  
  
“She cried more than I did when we broke up,” Kirsten whispered to Ryan, who seemed to be relaxing while listening to the easy banter. They paused while Rosa refilled their coffee and switched Ryan’s for milk without asking.  
  
“I like Sandy, but Jimmy has the cutest toes,” Hailey said, after Rosa left. “Sandy’s toes are all hairy.”  
  
“That’s weird,” Ryan stated.  
  
Hailey laughed. “You just better hope you inherited Jimmy’s toes, Kirsten has little mutant toes.”  
  
Ryan’s posture didn’t change from Hailey’s reference to his paternity, but Kirsten saw a flash of acknowledgement in his blue eyes that she’d spoken about it in open conversation. “I can’t believe you’re into toes,” he replied evenly.  
  
“I can’t believe we’re talking about this over breakfast,” Caleb said. “I think we all must be sleep-deprived or else Rosa is lacing our bagels with THC again.”  
  
“Dad, she never did that,” Hailey replied. Kirsten smiled at Ryan and felt ten pounds lighter when he returned it. “I did,” Hailey finished under her breath.  
  
“Can I use your phone, Caleb?” Ryan asked as Rosa was clearing the table.  
  
“Of course, there’s one in your room,” Caleb said.  
  
Ryan turned to her. “Do you think I could talk to Sandy sometime? About my options and stuff?”  
  
“Sure. He’s at the hospital, I’m heading over shortly, if you’d like to come with me. Or I can ask him to come here,” Kirsten replied.  
  
“I’ll come with you. I don’t want him to go out of his way,” Ryan said after a moment. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He stood up and pushed his chair under the table before leaving in search of the phone.  
  
“You know Sandy’s views on this situation with the boy may not match yours,” her dad said quietly.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Sandy could get him emancipated. We’d have no way of keeping him in the family if he didn’t need a guardian,” Caleb replied.  
  
“Dad, Sandy and I want Ryan to be healthy and happy, whether that’s with us or on his own is not my decision - he is not a possession, he’s a child,” Kirsten said. “Of course I’d like to keep him close, but he has his own life and it’s up to him if he wants us to be a part of it. I won’t hurt him any more by forcing anything on him.”  
  
“Fair enough,” her dad said after a beat. “I'll respect your decisions, I’m here to do whatever you need me to do.”  
  
She looked at him.  
  
“You hurt Ryan. I hurt you. I have to earn your trust again, just like you have to earn his.” He stood up. “I’m trying.”  
  
“Thank you,” she replied.  
  
\-----------------  
  
  
  
“Should I wait out here?” Ryan hesitated as Kirsten walked with him down the pediatric ward’s hallway.  
  
“You can. But you’re welcome to meet Seth.”  
  
“Who should I say I am?” Ryan asked as they stopped. She didn’t reply right away. He hated to ruin the comfortable vibe he had going on, but he trusted her a lot more after overhearing her conversation with Caleb back at the house. She wasn’t pushing him and he appreciated it. “I mean, I know he’s sick so you probably haven’t told him.”  
  
“We haven’t but we plan to as soon as he’s better. And if it makes you more comfortable we can tell him now,” she replied softly.  
  
“I’ll just say I’m a friend of yours, is that cool for now?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Okay. Let’s go in, he’s got ears like a bat and he always thinks the nurses conspire against him in the hallway,” Kirsten smiled, pushing open the door.  
  
“Mom’s here!” the thin, bald boy in the bed announced. Sandy smiled at them from one of the chairs, standing up to greet Kirsten with a kiss. “Who are you?”  
  
“My name’s Ryan,” he said after a split-second of ‘deer in the headlights’ fear. He walked over and offered his hand. “I’m a friend of your mom’s.”  
  
“You’re lying,” the kid chirped immediately. Ryan glanced at Kirsten who seemed amused. “Mom doesn’t have any cool friends,” the kid finished, shaking his hand firmly. “I’m Seth.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Ryan smiled.  
  
“He’s a little jacked up on oatmeal,” Sandy said, joining Ryan by the bed.  
  
“Oatmeal’s gross, but it’s better than the tasteless milkshakes I have to eat usually, it’s almost a solid,” Seth said.  
  
“A tasteless solid,” Ryan said. “That’s a definite improvement.”  
  
Seth smiled, laughing a little. “So, how’d you meet Mom?”  
  
“Oh, we go way back,” Ryan replied. “Since Thursday – that’s like years.”  
  
“You’re funny. Mom, did you bring me anything?” Seth asked, his attention span moving on already.  
  
“Seth, you can’t expect me to bring you something every time I come in,” Kirsten said, pulling a bag out of her purse.  
  
Seth gave Ryan a sly grin and rubbed his hands together dramatically in anticipation as his mom gave him the comic books. “Score. I don’t expect her to bring me stuff every day, but it’s Saturday and Rosa picks up my comics on Fridays.”  
  
Ryan was impressed that the kid was so lively considering his circumstances. He was pale and thin and tubes snaked from both sides of the hospital bed.  
  
“Seth, Ryan and I are going to go for a walk, I’ll be back soon, okay?” Sandy said.  
  
Ryan waved goodbye to Seth who smiled at him despite his almost rapt attention to the crisp comic book.  
  
“How’re you doing?” Sandy asked once they got outside the hospital and sat down on the bench.  
  
“Weird.”  
  
“That’s a nice way of putting it, huh?” Sandy chuckled. “Has Caleb been behaving?”  
  
“Everyone’s been really great. But I have to think ahead. I’ve been living day by day, but I’m at a point now that I can’t do that because I have to plan for what tomorrow’s going to bring.”  
  
“Your mom, Dawn, are you sure she meant to leave you behind?” Sandy asked.  
  
“She left me a note. That’s evidence, right? Should I burn it and say she’s out of town for six months? And if so, what place is going to rent to me at 15?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Let’s focus on your legal options first, before we get into how to avoid them,” Sandy said after a beat. “When child services find out that a child is without a parent, like a runaway, the first step is to locate the parents. Meaning that social services will have to find Dawn and confirm that she wants to give up custody.”  
  
“So I might have to go back with her,” Ryan realized.  
  
Sandy was watching him carefully. “If they are unable to locate her, you’ll become a ward of the state, meaning foster care or a group home. Or someone will have to step forward to request guardianship.”  
  
Ryan leaned back, the words spinning around in his head.  
  
”As an alternative, you could approach child services first with someone willing to assume responsibility for you and plead your case to a judge with the note and petition to be placed in a more stable home,” Sandy said. “It’s always best to get to them before they get to you.”  
  
Ryan heard the veiled offer but didn’t respond. “Going back to my mom…it’s not really an option now.”  
  
“Can I ask why?” Sandy replied.  
  
“She told her boyfriend. And he hates me already, he’d never agree to let me stay there now that he knows I’m not her kid,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
“A blood relative has a better chance than anyone to be granted custody of a minor,” Sandy said slowly. “And Kirsten and I will do that for you, if you decide to go that route. Or Jimmy, I know he’d help you if he can hold his marriage together. Even…Caleb has even offered, as hard as I find that to believe.”  
  
Ryan nodded. “I have a life in Chino. It’s not much, but it’s all I have.”  
  
“You had a life in Fresno but you managed to make a new one in Chino. Chino…it’s not that far from here. Just know that the offer’s on the table and we’d work with you to find whatever is best for you.” Sandy lowered his voice. “If you decided to stay in Chino, go to your school, we would find a way to make that happen. But we’d enroll you in school here if that’s what you wanted. I love my wife and I want to make her happy and in this case, that includes making you happy by default.”  
  
“Let me think about it,” Ryan said. He wished all the thinking he’d been doing lately had actually done something for him, but things just kept getting more complicated.  
  
\-----------------  
  
Sandy walked down the hall, having left Ryan outside to ponder his thoughts.  
  
He glanced in the room long enough to see doctors and nurses clustered around Seth’s bed. None of the alarms were going off and Seth was laughing at one of his favorite nurses so he figured it must be a simple checkup.  
  
Then he heard it. The soft muted sob from the waiting room.  
  
Kirsten was sitting in the far corner of the empty waiting room, rocking slightly back and forth as she choked on tears.  
  
“Honey?” Sandy called, and she jumped, startled, immediately wiping her face and trying to hide that she’d been crying. “Kirsten…”  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m okay, it’s fine,” she said, stiff when he sat down and put his arm around her.  
  
“What is it? Please talk to me…”  
  
“I’m trying to do what you said, to take things slow and not push Ryan…but it’s tearing me apart…I need to know if he’s in pain, I need to know who put that bruise on his face and I want him to talk to me…he talked to me a little this morning and I wanted to ask so many questions, Sandy, I wanted to take him home and put him to bed - he looks so tired and he’s so confused and I…Sandy – I know you say he needs space and that I have to wait for him to come to me, but…what if he doesn’t?”  
  
Sandy rubbed her back as she struggled to recover her composure. She was a strong woman, but the past few weeks had stretched her to her limits.  
  
“He’s a great kid and the more time I spend with him, the less I think I can let him go…” Kirsten whispered, pulling Kleenex from her purse and wiping the stray mascara from her cheeks.  
  
“I know. But we have to take it slow. It’s working, don’t you see? He’s starting to trust us on his own because he’s not under pressure,” Sandy said quietly. He hoped to god that he was reading this kid the right way or everything was going to fall apart. But he’d run into kids like Ryan so many times at his job who were walking the fine line between making the right choice and sinking deeper into the wrong one. He’d threatened his clients at first, warning them of the horrors of juvie and eventual jail, but he’d learned over the years that the words didn’t matter, what mattered was making the kid believe it without experiencing it for himself.  
  
Ryan was in a precarious place right now, and for him, accepting help from strangers wasn’t an option for him, no matter what pressure they applied. Ryan needed them not to be strangers first and that was going to take time.  
  
“Ryan’s already starting to accept us, Kirsten. He came with Caleb last night, he came here with you today – he met Seth and I guarantee he wouldn’t have done that if he intended on walking away. Baby steps, Kirsten.”  
  
She nodded, determinedly but her shoulders were still slumped. “Okay. Okay…”  
  
“We’ll figure this out, I promise,” Sandy said.  
  
Ryan stepped into the room, hesitant, checking to see if he was interrupting. Kirsten smiled at him and waved him in. “Seth okay?” he asked, aware that Kirsten had been crying.  
  
“He’s fine, the doctors are just checking him over and then it’s bathtime and he likes to be left alone,” Kirsten replied.  
  
Ryan sat down, looking at the floor.  
  
“How’d your thinking go?” Sandy asked, leaving his hand on Kirsten’s back for support.  
  
“You said outside, that you guys would step forward to take custody…but you have Seth and that’s, like, a lot for me to ask of people with a sick kid,” Ryan said, not looking at them.  
  
Sandy started to reply, but Kirsten was already speaking. “It’s not like you’re wearing diapers, Ryan, and Seth…he’ll be home soon and out of the hospital and we’ll have time for both of you.” Her words were soft and even.  
  
Ryan’s gaze had flickered to her as soon as she spoke, studying her.  
  
“You know, Jimmy’s our next door neighbor. You could get to know him, he’d be a stone’s throw away,” Sandy added.  
  
“And…you wouldn’t mind if I wanted to go to Chino or to see my brother in jail?” Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
“No, honey. We’d make arrangements to get you there until you turn 16 and can legally drive yourself,” Kirsten said. “As long…as long as you could promise us that you wouldn’t be hurt…” she added, raising her hand to her cheek to mimic the position of Ryan’s bruise.  
  
Ryan shrugged, not replying, but not ignoring her either.  
  
“I’d also like you to reconsider dropping out of school if you were to live with us,” Sandy said, wanting to lay all his cards on the table. Kirsten glanced at him, surprised. He hadn’t told her everything and avoided her eyes. He was going to get an earful later. “I don’t want it to seem like we’d just be signing a paper to get the courts off your back, we’d want to be true guardians for you, and we’d want you in school and not working if it would interfere with your studies. You could play soccer or maybe get a job a couple of hours a day, but we would provide for you so you wouldn’t be working to support yourself.”  
  
Ryan stared at him.  
  
“You’re a member of our family and you’d be treated that way,” Kirsten said softly.  
  
Ryan sighed, leaning back in his chair.  
  
“Too much too fast?” Sandy asked, glancing between his wife and the teenager.  
  
”Story of my life,” Ryan muttered. “You guys don’t need to think about this?”  
  
“We have been thinking about it, we want this,” Sandy said quickly. “But we want you to want it, too. It won’t work if you don’t want it to work.”  
  
Ryan was looking at Kirsten, but he’d clearly heard Sandy’s words.  
  
Kirsten was watching Ryan right back, trying to read his eyes in the same way he was trying to read hers.  
  
“You should talk to Seth about it. I’ve got to talk to my teachers and boss and stuff back in Chino. Maybe tell my brother…and if you can get child services to go along with it…it might be okay. I mean, I don’t really think I’ll fit in here…”  
  
“You will,” Kirsten said immediately, flushing and closing her mouth to let him finish his thought.  
  
“But maybe we can work something out. Caleb said I can stay with him, maybe if Seth freaks out…but maybe we can work something out,” Ryan said, conceding despite his dark eyes. “If you really mean it.”  
  
“We do,” Kirsten said. She glanced at Sandy before leaning forward again. “I spent 15 years apart from you and I don’t want to spend any more time apart.”  
  
Ryan seemed to file the information away and nodded. “You talk to Seth and I’ll talk to my friends. Then we’ll talk to social services and see what this all means.”  
  
“All right. Kirsten’s going to stay with Seth and I wondered if you’d like to come with me to my house so I can change clothes. I can call Jimmy on the way, he’d love to see you if you’re up to some more uncomfortable conversations,” Sandy said, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
“All right,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You should try to get some rest, too,” Kirsten said, standing up and hiding her excitement as she kept her hands folded over her stomach. “I’ll see you later?”  
  
He nodded, watching her walk away.  
  
“Tomorrow’s Sunday, Ryan. I was thinking I could drive you to the jail so you can talk to your brother in person,” Sandy said, hoping that the bribe would work in his favor. “And then on Monday, we can go to social services together, no matter what you decide,” he said, trying to phrase his words carefully. “I’d like to make sure you don’t get swallowed up in the red tape and it’s going to be pretty overwhelming.”  
  
“All right. That’s cool,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Let’s get out of here then,” Sandy said, standing up. It was a major battle won in the war to win Ryan’s trust, but there was still a long way to go.  
  
\----------------  
  
  
Ryan glanced around the smaller, but still huge, mansion that Sandy walked him into.  
  
“It’s not Caleb’s huge mansion, but it’s functional for our purposes,” Sandy teased.  
  
“Cool.”  
  
“Kirsten and I would like you to stay in the house, but Hailey’s offered her poolhouse if you prefer to have a little privacy and separation,” Sandy said.  
  
“I can’t make any decisions just yet, we don’t even know if child services is going to go for this,” Ryan replied. Sandy paused and turned to face him.  
  
“Kirsten’s your biological mother, the courts will recognize that she wants you back, even without finding out about Dawn. There are several ways we can go about this, Ryan, but we want to make you comfortable and not pressure you.”  
  
“I know, you keep saying that and I really appreciate but I don’t want to start making plans and have them fucked up again,” Ryan replied. “If they don’t grant you custody, what then?”  
  
“The only reason I think that they’d hold off giving us custody is because of Seth’s illness,” Sandy replied honestly. “With Seth requiring as much attention as he does right now, a judge may not want to put you in a situation like that. And if that’s the case, then you still have Jimmy and Caleb willing to step forward.”  
  
Ryan nodded, glad that he’d asked. He didn’t want to be surprised when he went to social services.  
  
“I know this is a lot of questions, but we’re going to figure this all out. If you want to call your friends, or your guidance counselor, feel free to use our phone while I’m getting changed. Jimmy’s coming over to visit shortly, but make yourself at home,” Sandy said. “Hopefully, this will be your home soon.”  
  
Ryan nodded, still uncomfortable being given free reign of these mansions.  
  
Sandy disappeared into the back and Ryan went into the kitchen, grateful to see Rosa in the kitchen.  
  
“We’re all really excited that you’re going to be sticking around, I’ve never seen Caleb so eager to bring someone into the family,” Rosa said, squeezing his shoulders as he sat down at the counter. “You’ve done a lot of good for the family and you haven’t even moved in yet. Don’t get scared, they’ll take good care of you. They don’t make promises lightly.”  
  
Ryan nodded and accepted the phone she put in his hands. “Gracias,” he said, taking it outside so he could smoke and make his phone calls.  
  
Before calling Teresa again, he flipped through his wallet and found the number for Mrs. Kat that she’d given him at the beginning of the year. She was a nice lady and had tried to help him. She’d be overjoyed that the Cohens wanted him to finish school. But he trusted her opinion and wanted to talk things over with her. She’d told him to call her anytime but this was the first time he was going to try it.  
  
A child answered and it took a few minutes for Mrs. Kat to come to the phone. He hated the way her voice was already laced with concern.  
  
“Mrs. Kat, I hate to call you on the weekend, but I need to talk to you about some things and I don’t think I should wait until Monday. I’ve got a lot of things going down on Monday and wanted to get as many talks out of my way ahead of time.”  
  
“What’s going on, Ryan? We missed you at school on Thursday and Friday. Everything all right?”  
  
“Not really. My mom left town. I guess you can tell because I’m calling you that she didn’t take me with her. Now I’ve got to make other arrangements for where I’m going to live, what I’m going to do,” Ryan said.  
  
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Where are you?”  
  
“It’s a really long story that I don’t really want to go into,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Tough. You called me, you have to give me an explanation…”  
  
Ryan sighed and told her about the adoption, the transplant and the newfound family that was offering to take him in.  
  
As soon as he paused to let his story sink in, she began questioning him. “Are you all right? You say you gave the donation on Thursday, have there been any complications? Who are your birth parents, are they good people? Where are you?”  
  
“I’m in Newport and I’m fine. They seem like really nice people.” He lowered his voice. “They’re rich, which is a little weird. But my birth mother’s husband is going to drive me to Chino on Monday so I can talk to social services and find out if I can stay with them or if I have to go into foster care or something. He’s a lawyer but so far, he’s been letting me make all the decisions. I don’t want to go into foster care, Mrs. Kat.”  
  
“I know. I’m sorry that you’ve had such a hard time lately. And your mom…”  
  
“She’s really gone this time,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You’re a smart kid. You’ve gotten through tougher spots but I hope you’re making the right decisions.”  
  
“What else would you suggest, Mrs. Kat? Like…foster care just so I can stay in Chino? There’s no guarantee the courts will emancipate me coming out of foster care…especially with my family history.” Ryan replied.  
  
“Do you trust them?”  
  
“I’m getting there. I mean…they only came looking for me to see if I’d match their kid’s bone marrow…but they came back even after they’d got what they wanted,” Ryan said quietly. “I can take care of myself, does it matter if it’s in Newport or in Chino?”  
  
“No, what matters is that you’re in a stable environment with people that care about you. I’m not sure you even had that here,” Mrs. Kat said.  
  
“They say I have to finish school,” Ryan said.  
  
“I think I might like them already,” she replied and he could hear the smile, and relief in her voice.  
  
“I just wanted to let you know what was going on in case social services requests my records and stuff. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to school any time soon.”  
  
“Is there anything else I can do?”  
  
“No, thanks, though. I’ll let you know how it turns out,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You better or I’ll track you down. I’d like to talk to the people you’ll be staying with, will you give them my number?”  
  
“Already have, actually, but the one at the school.”  
  
“Good. Call me as soon as you know something, all right?”  
  
“Sure thing.” He said, hanging up. He actually felt better after talking to her, even if she hadn’t said anything really helpful, it had helped to talk to someone about the choice he was making. It made him feel a little better about his reasoning.  
  
\---------------  
  
“Seth?” Kirsten called, trying to catch his attention over the anime show on the television.  
  
“Hm?” he asked, sparing her a flicker of attention before refocusing on the brightly colored cartoons.  
  
“I need to talk to you. It’s important,” she said, taking the remote and turning off the TV.  
  
“Uh oh.”  
  
“It’s not bad news, at least I hope you don’t think so,” she said.  
  
“In a hospital bed here, Mom, I don’t need bad news,” Seth replied, his brown eyes bright with curiosity.  
  
“A long time ago, before you were born, before I met your father…I was dating Jimmy Cooper…”  
  
“I’ve heard this story a million times, Mom, Dad teases you about it all the time,” Seth replied, huffing at being distracted from his TV show for something so trivial.  
  
“You haven’t heard this, I promise. I hadn’t even told your father until a few weeks ago.” She took a deep breath and prayed that Seth would be as understanding as Sandy.  
  
“Mom?” he called, concerned by her hesitation.  
  
“I had a baby when I was seventeen and I gave him up for adoption.”  
  
Seth’s eyes flashed and she could tell he’d heard her. “I have a…brother? Mom?”  
  
“Yes, Seth. I wasn’t ready to be a mother then and I…I made a mistake. I should’ve been a stronger person and raised him myself, but I didn’t.”  
  
“He…he’s who gave me the bone marrow?”  
  
Kirsten nodded.  
  
“So, you haven’t thought about your other kid since you were 17 and then you just hit him up for some of his bone marrow? He must hate you,” Seth said slowly.  
  
“A little, yeah. But I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing staying away from him. He grew up with other parents, he had another life and I had no reason to think he even knew he was adopted…I couldn’t just ruin his life without knowing,” Kirsten attempted to explain.  
  
“That makes sense, Mom.”  
  
“But, Seth, there’s more. That boy that came in with me today, Ryan?”  
  
Seth nodded, waiting.  
  
“He’s my son.”  
  
Seth’s eyes widened. “Really? That guy? But he’s, like…short.”  
  
Kirsten sighed, but was glad Seth wasn’t more upset.  
  
“But he seemed pretty cool. Big muscles, so there’s hope for me yet,” Seth said, flexing his arm despite the IVs to show where he’d have muscles hopefully someday.  
  
“Seth. Do you have any questions, honey?”  
  
Seth leaned back against the pillows. “A big brother might be nice…I’ve always asked for a little brother, it’s not your fault that you can’t get everything right. But…” he leaned forward, showing his age when he met her gaze. “You’re not just getting him to replace me when I die, are you?”  
  
She pulled him into a hug. “No, honey. No…I don’t love you any less and you’re not going to die.”  
  
“I guess…you wouldn’t have told me if I was going to die,” Seth theorized, hugging her tightly and mumbling into her shoulder.  
  
“Ryan gave his bone marrow because he wanted to. But I found out when I met him that he wasn’t with a good family and he wasn’t happy. Things are different now that I know him,” Kirsten said.  
  
Seth leaned back against the bed so he could see her face. “So…we can keep him?”  
  
“Seth…”  
  
“Not like a puppy…but he’ll live with us now? And…not just visit when he’s bored, like the Nana, but we can see him all the time?” Seth asked slowly. He’d grown up a lot since he’d been sick, he’d been so scared when the chemo stopped working – but he was still an innocent little kid. She hoped he’d never have the walls she saw behind Ryan's eyes. She hoped that Seth would always know that he was loved and important.  
  
“We’re going to try and get him to stay with us. But he insisted that you make the final decision,” Kirsten said.  
  
“What? He thinks I’m in charge?” Seth gave her an evil grin. “I think I really like him, then. And I say, absolutely. As long as he doesn’t pee in the pool or steal my comics. And pudding – he can’t eat the last pudding, that’s for the man in charge.”  
  
\---------------  
  
Jimmy knocked on the open door of Sandy’s house with Julie leaning over the flowerbeds on the side of the porch, checking for flaws, no doubt. He’d always hoped that Julie and Kirsten could be friends, but they were like oil and water. Not to each other’s faces, of course, but it was common knowledge that there was more than just dislike, more like open hatred. He would never admit it, but he always hoped it was because Kirsten was jealous. Then he’d see her with Sandy and know that it was never going to happen.  
  
Rosa appeared, clearing her throat at Julie and welcoming them inside.  
  
Jimmy had told Julie that he was coming over to visit Ryan, his son, and she’d decided that it was a good time for her to ‘visit’, too. She’d avoided his attempts at conversation about it and he wasn’t exactly sure what he should expect. He hoped that Julie would show the side of her that he was in love with, instead of the Newpsie she pretended to be.  
  
Sandy and Ryan were sitting across from each other at the table involved in what seemed to be a staredown. Then he saw the playing cards they were holding. “What’s going on in here?”  
  
“Hey, Jimmy, Ryan and I were just killing a little time, come in, can I get you guys anything?” Sandy offered, standing up and tossing his cards on the table. “Let’s just call it a draw, kid,” he smiled, turning back to Ryan.  
  
“You’re a pitiful bluff,” Ryan said, nodding at Jimmy with a smile more relaxed than Jimmy had ever seen on him. It was so hard to hate Sandy when he kept being a good guy.  
  
Ryan stood up when he saw Julie standing behind him. Jimmy was impressed with his manners and led her over to the table. “Ryan, this is my wife, Julie.”  
  
Ryan shook her hand while Julie studied his grip and his neatly clipped nails. Ryan noticed it immediately and Jimmy saw his eyes change colors slightly as he seemed to change his demeanor to prepare himself for Julie’s, so far, icy persona.  
  
Jimmy glared at his wife and she flashed innocent green eyes at him. “Nice to meet you, Ryan, I wish I could say I’ve heard lots about you, but you’re a bit of surprise.”  
  
Ryan didn’t respond, waiting until Julie sat down beside Jimmy at the table before taking his chair again. He began to gather the cards.  
  
“You pulled a disappearing act at the hospital, you feeling okay?” Jimmy asked, accepting the coffee from Sandy and avoiding his eyes. He knew that he’d brought this thick tension in the house with him.  
  
“I’m good, thanks. I’m staying with Caleb.”  
  
“They’ve been keeping me informed. I’m so sorry about your mom,” Jimmy said.  
  
“Thanks, but it’s not like she’s dead, she’s just gone,” Ryan replied.  
  
“How convenient,” Julie muttered.  
  
Ryan didn’t back down, shuffling the cards and then setting them down before leaning back and crossing his arms. Almost defiant. Jimmy was impressed that he wasn’t shrinking from Julie’s open statement. “Jules,” he scolded, spotting Sandy’s posture tensing up from the end of the table.  
  
“No. She has the right to be suspicious. She can ask whatever she wants, she’s invested in this situation as much as Sandy is, being married to one of my biological parents,” Ryan replied, locking gazes with Julie.  
  
She frowned, pursing her red lips. “Why’d your mother choose to abandon you this weekend and not before now?”  
  
“Julie!” Jimmy protested.  
  
“No, it’s cool,” Ryan said, but his voice was cold. He glanced at Julie. “Because it was the first time I was gone overnight and her boyfriend finally beat the truth out of her about my adoption. He didn’t see any reason for them to stay since I wasn’t really her kid.”  
  
“What do you want from Jimmy?” Julie asked after a long moment.  
  
“Nothing,” Ryan replied evenly.  
  
Jimmy glanced at him, alarmed, but Ryan’s gaze didn’t waver from Julie’s. This was a staredown.  
  
“Nothing,” Julie repeated.  
  
“Nothing. He came to me. Maybe you should ask him what he wants from me,” Ryan replied. “He’s never signed anything, he’s never acknowledged me on paper, you have nothing to fear from me.”  
  
Sandy cleared his throat, giving Jimmy a pointed look.  
  
“This isn’t how I wanted our first meeting to go, Ryan, I’m so sorry,” Jimmy said.  
  
“No, I should apologize. I’m just trying to protect my family, I’m sorry, Ryan, for interrogating you…” Julie said. Jimmy almost believed her.  
  
“Like you said, I’m a surprise, you don’t know what to expect,” Ryan replied, focusing on the cards again and shuffling them with practiced hands.  
  
“Jimmy, can I talk to you?” Sandy asked, standing up and pulling him, gently but forcefully, out of the kitchen to the living room so he could still see Julie and Ryan at the table. “What the hell are you doing letting her talk to him that way? We want him to trust us, not hate our guts…” he hissed.  
  
But Jimmy was distracted by Ryan’s rumbling voice from the kitchen. “Ever been to Riverside, Julie?”  
  
“Excuse me?” Julie replied.  
  
“My mom dated a guy from Riverside. Real asshole, had all these pornos in his basement, you should’ve seen it when the cops finally raided it,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
Sandy started to step in, but Jimmy stopped him.  
  
“I have no idea why you’re telling me such a vile story,” Julie whispered.  
  
“My brother and I had a big laugh over those cops logging the evidence, reading the names of those movies off. Stuff like ‘The Porn Identity’, can you believe that?” Ryan continued.  
  
“What do you want?” Julie asked after a long moment.  
  
“I already told you, I don’t want anything. I’m not after his money, I’m not here to make things hard for you, I’m just trying to get my life together and trying to see if I can do that here. We all leave things behind, Julie, and we don’t have to bring those up – but we can’t ever change the past either.”  
  
“I don’t care what you think of me…”  
  
“I don’t care about you, I’m just here because of Jimmy. The only beef I have with you is making me talk about shit that I don’t like to talk about. I don’t need another enemy or another person to hate,” Ryan said, sliding his seat back and pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, leaving the kitchen.  
  
Sandy glared at him, but it was covering a confused look before he followed Ryan outside.  
  
“I can’t believe you,” Jimmy said, approaching Julie.  
  
“I’m going home. Spend some time with your son, Jimmy,” Julie said, her eyes dull from whatever Ryan had been referring to in his conversation with her.  
  
“Julie…”  
  
“No, I’m the bitch, Jimmy, and I’m going home so I won’t ruin your visit.”  
  
\---------------  
  
  
  
Ryan looked relaxed but when Sandy approached him by the pool, he could tell right away that it was all an act.  
  
“I’m sorry about Julie.”  
  
“It’s cool. I expect more people will react like that if I end up sticking around,” Ryan replied. He met Sandy’s eyes coolly. “But I don’t think I’ll be mentioning Jimmy as a viable guardian to the social worker on Monday.”  
  
“You know that Julie doesn’t necessarily speak for me, Ryan,” Jimmy said, joining them.  
  
Ryan nodded. “I know. But I’m not going to be the reason you and your wife start having problems. I’d like to keep my distance, if that’s okay.”  
  
Jimmy glanced at him but Sandy was done giving Jimmy advice. This was up to Ryan and Julie had made it clear how she felt about him. “I’d like you to meet my daughters, see my house…”  
  
“I’m afraid I’m not comfortable with that,” Ryan replied after a moment. “I have no problem getting to know you, Jimmy, but I’m not getting involved with your family. Maybe your wife can put a metal detector in and then I can come over.”  
  
“Ryan, I’m very sorry, but she’ll come around, she just hasn’t had a chance to get to know you yet,” Jimmy said quietly.  
  
“She’s not going to have that chance. I’m sorry, too,” Ryan replied. “You’ve been cool to me, Jimmy, and I…I do want to spend time with you. But not with her.”  
  
“Fair enough. And you’re really going to stick around this time,” Jimmy stated.  
  
“If it works out, then yes. Sandy’s a lot more optimistic than I am about this. I’m not really used to things ‘working out’.” Ryan muttered, inhaling deeply off his cigarette.  
  
Sandy patted him on the back, ignoring the slight flinch and glanced over at Jimmy. “This time’s different. This is going to work out.”  
  
“Can I come by tonight? See you at Caleb’s?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Can we postpone it for a couple of days? I’m, kind of, hoping that I can go to bed early and try to get the fuzziness out of my head from these pills. I don’t really feel like talking anymore,” Ryan said honestly.  
  
“Sure, sure, that’s fine. I’ll call you on Monday, find out what happens and where I’ll have to go to visit you,” Jimmy said.  
  
Ryan nodded but Sandy could tell that he was pleased that Jimmy still wanted to see him.  
  
Jimmy gave him a cautious but warm hug before leaving.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“Yeah. But give me a little warning next time I have to meet the dragon lady,” Ryan said.  
  
“Deal. Want to play some more cards?”  
  
He shrugged. “Might as well.”  
  
\--------------  
  
Jimmy was pissed off. Really pissed off. And when he walked into his house to find Julie trying on clothes in the bedroom like she didn’t care about what she’d done, he was beyond pissed off.  
  
“You know, I’ve always wondered why you married me. Everyone told me it was for my money, but there’s that prenup that you insisted on and we’ve had two daughters...I never let myself believe that you were just after my money.”  
  
“Jimmy, I’m not, where is this coming from?” Julie replied.  
  
“Well, it’s pretty clear after today that you didn’t marry me because of love,” Jimmy stated flatly.  
  
“That’s not true, I do love you, Jimmy – I always have…”  
  
“You know how important meeting Ryan was to me. You know how much I want to have a relationship with me. But you don’t care. You went over there intending to hurt his feelings, intending to question him…”  
  
“You are blowing this out of proportion,” Julie insisted. “I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t scamming you…”  
  
“No. You were openly hateful to him. The kid says he won’t even come to my house, he doesn’t think he’s welcome to step foot on my property and that’s your fault. All these years I’ve defended you, told people that you weren’t just trash that I picked up at the strip club and you’ve finally proved me wrong. You really are just a vindictive bitch that only cares about my money.”  
  
She gasped. “Jimmy!”  
  
“You knew how important this was to me and you didn’t care. You don’t care about me, Julie, as long as your wallet stays fat and your roots don’t show, you aren’t going to care. I don’t ask you for much, hell, I’ve never really asked you to take an interest in my business or my life outside of this marriage – but I needed you to be my wife today, to show my son that he had a place in my life and all you did was take that from me. Because you’re jealous that someone else might get a slice of your easy deal.”  
  
Julie was pale. “Jimmy…what are you saying?”  
  
“I guess I’m saying thanks for finally proving to me what kind of woman you really are. I’m going to go visit my daughters now,” Jimmy hissed, walking out of the room.  
  
Julie followed him. “Are you leaving me?”  
  
“I love my children. I don’t want them to be without a mother, even if that mother is you,” he said coldly. “Maybe you can tell Marissa about how you used to be in movies until you found a better score marrying stupid rich men. You’ll talk to that 15 year old kid like he’s a grown up but I don’t think you’ve ever said a truthful word to me since you met me.”  
  
She didn’t mention the movie comment, but she clearly could tell that he knew now about her ‘low budget film’. “I love you. That’s the truth.”  
  
Jimmy turned to face her. “Why should I believe anything you say, Julie? Maybe you should go shopping, put some of that indignation to good use. Hit me where it hurts.”  
  
“You’re the one shoving a bastard on me and expecting me to just accept it,” Julie said after a long moment.  
  
“You call him that again and I promise you, you will regret it,” Jimmy replied. He walked over and faced her down. “I grew up in Newport, I had money when you were still sucking cock on cue – this is my home, my turf. When this all comes out, I’ll land on my feet - yeah, people will gossip for a few days but Ryan will be Newport royalty. But you? That porn video gets out and this whole town will have proof that you’ll do anything for money and you’ll be off every mailing list in town.”  
  
\--------------  
  
Hailey walked into the kitchen and saw Rosa, Sandy and Ryan playing cards around the kitchen table. Rosa was almost family, but it was rare that she’d stop cooking or cleaning to socialize. “Hey, guys. Mind if I sit in?”  
  
Ryan gave her a shy grin in greeting as she sat down.  
  
“He’s cheating, I just can’t figure out how,” Sandy said to her as Ryan gathered up the cards.  
  
“I’m not cheating,” Ryan replied with a smile. “’I’m just good.”  
  
“He met Julie Cooper today,” Rosa told Hailey. Sandy glanced at her, surprised.  
  
Ryan muttered something to Rosa in Spanish, shaking his head.  
  
“How bad was it?” Hailey asked sympathetically.  
  
“He handled it pretty well. She thinks he’s scamming Jimmy for his money,” Sandy said.  
  
“That’s funny coming from her,” Hailey snorted.  
  
“She’s just looking out for her family,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
“Don’t defend her, Ryan, she doesn’t deserve it,” Hailey replied. “She’s a joke around here, no matter what she thinks.”  
  
“Well, if Jimmy loves her, who are we to judge?” Ryan asked quietly.  
  
“That’s one way to think about it,” Sandy said.  
  
“Can I deal?” Ryan questioned, waiting for Hailey’s nod before dealing her in.  
  
“Kirsten told Seth about you,” Hailey mentioned offhand, but was watching him over her hand of cards.  
  
“She called?” Sandy asked, immediately alert.  
  
“Yup. Said he’s…really excited,” Hailey said, not enjoying torturing Ryan as much as she’d thought seeing his hooded eyes. “Apparently, he’s always wanted a brother and has already asked if you were going to stay here.”  
  
“He’s not upset that his mom had a kid she never told him about?” Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
“Seth’s very open-minded, perhaps a little too much for his own good sometimes,” Sandy replied.  
  
“He said you should be pretty pissed at her for hitting you up for bone marrow. But he loves his mom and he’s really excited about having a new brother,” Hailey said.  
  
Ryan finally relaxed slightly.  
  
“Well, that’s out of the way, are you still having doubts?” Sandy asked quietly.  
  
Rosa said something to him quietly in Spanish that definitely caught Ryan’s attention, his eyes darting toward her from Sandy.  
  
“No, I’m cool. We’re going to social services on Monday. Will you let me say goodbye to George and my friends?” Ryan asked him, not replying to Rosa.  
  
“Of course. Do you still want to go see your brother tomorrow?” Sandy asked.  
  
“I better hold off until I know, like, everything for sure. I called him today and smoothed things over, and I’ll go see him…when I’m settled,” Ryan said softly.  
  
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Hailey smiled, throwing down her cards. “When you’re settled. That’s the way you have to think.”  
  
\--------------  
  
Ryan sat on the beach, appreciating the consistency of the soothing waves and the cool breeze blowing over his bare arms. He was only wearing a wife beater but he’d forgotten his jacket back at Caleb’s. He didn’t mind the chill, he just needed the quiet.  
  
He’d talked and listened and seen more today than ever. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but he was so tired of having to think. He could sit here all night and it wouldn’t be long enough.  
  
He was trying to trust his instincts, trying to do the right thing – but he hadn’t ever had to deal with that in terms of himself. He’d had Trey’s back, he’d protected Teresa before her Dad got locked up, he’d carried his mom to bed so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit – but he’d never really had to think about what was out there for him, he’d never had to make choices solely centered on himself. He couldn’t even explain it to himself – but he was out of his element in this place. Already, Kirsten and Sandy – hell, even Jimmy and Caleb – they’d been nicer to him than his mother had been since he was in diapers.  
  
And they wanted him. Something else his mom had never seemed to.  
  
Telling him he wouldn’t have to work, that all he had to do was go to school – that was surreal. Was that what life was all about here? All of his friends in Chino had jobs – the point of high school was to enjoy partying and fucking and getting high before the drug tests and responsibilities of adulthood hit you at 16 or 18 – whatever you could manage. School was just a luxury, a few hours that all you had to do was show up and didn’t have to bust your ass but didn’t get beat up or dog-tired from work.  
  
These people had a full time housekeeper and he hadn’t seen anyone go to work yet.  
  
And this was where he was going to live?  
  
The soft fabric made him flinch as the blanket was laid across his shoulders before the person sat down beside him.  
  
“You look cold. They don’t give you jackets back in Chino?” Julie asked him, picking up his pack of cigarettes and frowning at them.  
  
“Didn’t expect such cold weather,” he replied pointedly.  
  
“Didn’t Hailey and Kirsten warn you that I was a bitch?” Julie asked. “Besides, you don’t have to like me. I don’t expect you to, nobody else does. But Jimmy needs us to make peace and no matter what you think of me, never doubt that I love your father. He’s a good man, a good father and he really wants the chance to show that to you. Hell, he’s put up with me all these years, and that’s got to tell you something.”  
  
“Who wouldn’t want to be married to a porn star?” Ryan asked, but took in her sideways apology.  
  
“I was a kid, I was willing to do anything to get out of Riverside. My boyfriend convinced me I was going to be rich,” Julie said.  
  
“And look at you now,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“I didn’t marry Jimmy for money. And that ‘film’ was the only one I did – I threw up for hours after it was over. I begged him not to release it – hell, I left him over it, never got paid. It ruined my life. I never thought I’d be anything more than a stripper. But Jimmy made me believe I could be something more,” Julie replied.  
  
Ryan glanced at her, but didn’t reply, waiting for her to finish.  
  
“I’m not just a trophy wife.”  
  
“You’re a mother, a wife, I have no problem with that. And I’m not going to tell anyone about that movie – I was just trying to get my point across.”  
  
“I know, and I probably deserved it. I went after you and I shouldn’t have. You’re a kid in a tough spot. You’re lucky to have Jimmy and Kirsten. As much as I’ll deny I said it later, she’s a good woman and she takes good care of the people she cares about.”  
  
“Truce, Mrs. Cooper?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Yes. And call me Julie,” she replied. “Jimmy and I are going to tell the girls about you soon and as soon as you’re settled we can make arrangements.”  
  
“Arrangements?” Ryan replied, raising an eyebrow. This just kept getting weirder.  
  
“You’ll have to come to dinner at least once a week, and you’ll have to make an appearance at our social functions. And we’ll have to get new pictures made so you can be in the picture we send out for Christmas,” Julie replied, standing up and patting him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family, Ryan.”  
  
He had no idea what he was getting into. But he was expecting the ‘twilight zone’ music to kick in at any moment.  
  
It was several minutes before he realized she’d confiscated his cigarettes.  
  
\----------------  
  
  
  
Ryan was surprised when Kirsten, Sandy and Caleb all showed up to go with him to social services on Monday. He didn’t even bother to question them, knowing from his time spent with them so far that they were serious about bringing him back from social services.  
  
It was oddly comforting that they were so dead set against him going into foster care. They wanted to be his family and had been working hard to make him feel like a part of it.  
  
Kirsten kept her arm around him as they walked into the building, almost possessive. It was weird, but he didn’t ask her to stop, he was too busy watching Sandy work the room, speaking to the social workers and staff that he knew from his work as a public defender.  
  
Ryan recognized the old man that had been in charge of his case the last few times he’d been taken from his mom when he was ushered into a conference room with him and several other people in suits.  
  
“Sandy has filled us in on your circumstances, Ryan, but we need to know that your mother is really gone before we can legally put you in another home,” the man said. Caleb looked like he was about to say something but Sandy quieted him with a glance. “You can’t just move in with your biological parents because you feel like it.”  
  
“Honey, why don’t you step outside and let us talk to Mr. Harrison,” Kirsten said.  
  
“No, I’d like to stay,” Ryan said.  
  
“I have to admit, I’m surprised you’re willing to take him in, he come begging on your doorstep?” Mr. Harrison replied, glaring at Ryan.  
  
“You better step outside,” Kirsten repeated, giving him a look. Ryan walked out of the room and out of the building, sitting down on the bus bench.  
  
He’d known it wasn’t going to go well, he had just been hoping for a different social worker or that Sandy had known someone that was nice.  
  
He’d just lit up a cigarette when Kirsten sat down beside him with a sigh. “Worried?”  
  
“I left all my stuff at Caleb’s. I won’t have anything to take with me to the group home,” he said after a moment.  
  
“You’re not going to a group home. Sandy’s dealt with Mr. Harrison before. Did you know that Sandy talked to your guidance counselor last night? She has documentation of over 15 phone calls she’s placed to Mr. Harrison in the past year that weren’t followed up. Every time you came to school with bruises, or missed class because of injuries that weren’t accompanied by a doctor’s note. He dropped the ball and I don’t think Dad’s going to let him keep his job if you don’t leave with us,” she said, not looking at him.  
  
“Mrs. Kat overreacts.”  
  
“You will not be hurt with us,” she said seriously. “Bruises, bloody noses – those things do not happen in our house – ever. I can’t…I know you don’t want to talk about it and I don’t blame you, but…we will have to talk about it sometime,” she said.  
  
“It’s over now. Unless they send me back with my Mom. But in all honesty…I don’t think I’ll go this time.”  
  
“What will you do?”  
  
He shrugged but didn’t reply. He’d get the fuck out of California is what he’d do. He’d be a ghost until he was legal.  
  
But he had to try this first.  
  
“All right,” Sandy announced, walking out with Caleb by his side. “We’re off to see a judge about a paper and then we can go by your house to see if there’s anything else you want to get before you come home.”  
  
“Wait. You did it?”  
  
“Sandy’s a very good lawyer,” Kirsten smiled.  
  
“There are some restrictions, though,” Sandy said, moving to stand in front of them. “For the next 3 months, you’ll stay with Caleb. After that time, social services will reevaluate the situation and decide if you can come home with us.”  
  
“Because of Seth?” Kirsten asked before Ryan could. Sandy nodded. “Three months...you still up for this?”  
  
Ryan was actually a little relieved. He wasn’t sure how Seth would react to actually having to share his parents when he was finally home and the transition period would probably be easier on all of them if he stayed with Caleb. He nodded.  
  
“Good. Let’s go, then. I was thinking we could have lunch at the diner, since you wanted to tell George in person,” Caleb smiled, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.  
  
“All right,” Ryan conceded. He was excited but he wasn’t sure if he deserved to be.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Sandy’s hand was warm in hers and she was so grateful to him for doing all this for her. He could’ve had a totally different reaction when he found out about Ryan, a reaction like Julie, for example, but he’d been wonderful. She knew that he liked Ryan, too.  
  
She was upset that Ryan wasn’t going to be moving into their house, but he didn’t seem that upset.  
  
She wasn’t sure she trusted her father with him, but he’d done a bang up job so far. Ryan had bonded with Rosa and Hailey and seemed almost comfortable in the big mansion. And Caleb seemed to enjoy the company.  
  
This was going to work. Even if Ryan had been locked in the office with the judge for over an hour.  
  
“Should it be taking this long?” Caleb asked, breaking the silence.  
  
The door opened almost immediately and Ryan stepped out, his face unreadable as he sat down beside her in one of the vacant seats.  
  
“I’m ready for you now,” the judge called. Ryan just nodded for them to go in, not giving then any hint of what the conference had been about.  
  
“Everything okay?” Sandy asked the lady.  
  
“Yes. But considering the circumstances, I wanted to make extra sure that he wasn’t being pressured into anything that he wasn’t prepared for. If you could just sign, Mr. Nichol, on the lines noted with the ‘x’ marks, you’re free to take Ryan home,” the judge said. Caleb immediately went to work on the paperwork with Sandy reading over his shoulder.  
  
“Thank you,” Kirsten said to the judge.  
  
“You’re welcome. He seems like a very nice boy and I wish you all the best.”  
  
Ryan stood up when they exited, shifting his weight from foot to foot.  
  
“You hungry?” Kirsten asked, putting her arm around him again. She had this strange need to make contact with him. She didn’t want him out of her sight or reach, but she knew that she had to relax.  
  
“A little. Nervous, I guess,” Ryan admitted.  
  
“The hard part’s over,” Sandy said. “Now you just have to see if you can make it three months in Caleb’s haunted mansion.”  
  
“It’s not haunted. It just…creaks. You’ll scare him, Sandford, don’t tease,” Caleb said, glaring at him.  
  
Ryan smiled, relaxing slightly at the easy banter.  
  
“Let’s get something to eat,” Sandy said, starting the car.  
  
Ryan was surprised to see Eddie’s clunker parked outside the restaurant but he saw when he glanced through the window that the place was packed. “Does he know I’m coming?”  
  
“Your friend wanted to have a going away party for you and we thought today would be the best time,” Caleb announced, feigning innocence.  
  
“Not cool,” Ryan muttered, but his eyes were bright.  
  
“Go on inside, we’ll be right behind you after we put change in the meter,” Kirsten said. Ryan scrambled out of the car and went into the diner. They could hear the greetings from the street.  
  
“I wasn’t aware you’d been in touch with George,” Sandy said to Caleb, almost admiringly.  
  
“I left my number when I met him the first time, before we’d convinced Ryan to come home. He’s been calling every night to check on him. He felt really bad for not being able to do more for him,” Caleb admitted.  
  
“I really need a cup of coffee, let’s go inside,” Kirsten said, eager to meet these people that meant so much to Ryan.  
  
She spotted Ryan right away by the counter, several women in waitress uniforms chattering and fussing over him.  
  
“You must be the mother,” a voice said and Kirsten turned to find a very pretty Hispanic teenager glaring at him.  
  
“And you must be Theresa. Nice to meet you,” Kirsten replied, remembering Ryan’s mentions of her.  
  
She seemed surprised and smiled politely, shaking her hand.  
  
“You hurt him and I’ll hunt you down,” Teresa said, quietly.  
  
“I don’t plan on hurting him. I just want him to be a part of my family now. You’re welcome to drop in and check on him any time you like, as long as you don’t upset him,” Kirsten offered.  
  
“Thanks,” Teresa said, clearly startled.  
  
“He speaks very highly of you. And I’m grateful for all the help you must’ve given him growing up, from what little I’ve heard, it couldn’t have been easy and I’m glad, at least, that he had good friends around him,” Kirsten said as Sandy brought her a cup of coffee before joining Caleb and the old man who must be George at a nearby table.  
  
“You guys are really going to take care of him?”  
  
“He’s going to live with my father, the bald man over there,” Kirsten pointed out. “Until the judge thinks we can give him enough attention. Seth, my younger son hopefully will be coming home soon and they don’t want Ryan to be short-changed again if we’re overly distracted. But I plan to be as much of a mother to him as he’ll let me.”  
  
Teresa nodded. “He deserves a good mother. My mom, she thinks the world of Ryan and she would’ve let him stay with us…but because we were involved for so long and because of how much she works and the cops always coming to his house – she wouldn’t. I don’t want him to leave…but he seems…almost happy. And that’s not something I’ve seen from him too often.”  
  
Kirsten followed her gaze to where Ryan was talking to a taller teenager with tattoos.  
  
“That’s Eddie. That’s my boyfriend. He was best friends with Ryan and Trey, his brother. Things went a little off track and Ryan got hit with a lot of stuff all at once. I’m sorry about your son, but you picked a hell of a time to find him,” Teresa said quietly.  
  
“You might think the timing’s all wrong, but I think it’s just right. I’m just grateful that he’s coming home with us and not to some home or in the back of the diner,” Kirsten replied.  
  
Teresa smiled at her, sincerely this time, and nodded her agreement.  
  
“Make him give you our addresses before we leave.”  
  
Teresa pulled out a small wrapped box. “Calling card right here so he has no excuse to be out of touch. Eddie got one for Trey the other day, I’m not sure how well Trey’s going to take it.”  
  
“Ryan wanted to get everything settled before telling him. Sandy, my husband, is going to drive him up one day this week to tell him in person.”  
  
“Trey and Ryan always looked out for each other. Trey’s freaking out a little because he can’t take care of Ryan anymore,” Teresa confided.  
  
“That makes me feel a little better, knowing that he wasn’t alone for all this time with…his mother,” Kirsten replied. “Is he…nice?”  
  
Teresa snorted but smiled. “Depends on if he considers you a threat. Or in your case, if he thinks you’re going to hurt his baby brother. He might be a jackass, but he loves Ryan.”  
  
Kirsten smiled, reaching over and squeezing her hand gratefully for the information. “Thank you.”  
  
\-------------  
  
Teresa pulled Ryan into the kitchen and back into the stockroom.  
  
“T, what the hell?” he asked, but there was no anger in his voice.  
  
“I want to talk to you alone – you have done all this shit, made all these decisions without talking to anyone…”  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. “God, these people, the Cohens and Coopers and Nichols? They have made me talk for hours, I swear, I’m surprised I still have a voice from all the talking I’ve been doing.”  
  
She studied him, stepping closer and putting her hands on his face, making him look into her chocolate eyes. “I don’t want you to go.”  
  
She kissed him deeply and Ryan felt himself leaning into the it, accepting her tongue in his mouth and forgetting that he wasn’t with her anymore – that she was Eddie’s and not his…  
  
But then he made himself remember, stepping back and lowering his gaze. “I have to go. You have a life with Eddie and I need to find out what kind of life I have with these people. There’s nothing left for me here.”  
  
Teresa closed her mouth. “I'm here. I’m going to miss you.”  
  
He raised a finger to her lips. “No. You won’t. You have Eddie and you won’t have me to worry about ruining that for you. You’ll be fine.”  
  
“You can’t tell me what to do,” she said when he started for the door. “And if I want to see you, I’ll see you.”  
  
“You just check with Eddie about all that. I’ll be around. Out of sight, out of mind,” Ryan replied, waiting to see how she would respond.  
  
“Whatever you need to believe to make you able to walk out that door.”  
  
He lowered his voice. “Fuck you for making this harder for me than it already is. You are supposed to be my friend, not my bitchy ex. But I guess that’s where I’m confused.”  
  
“Ryan...”  
  
“I don’t know why you’re doing this, maybe you think it’ll make it easier for me to leave, or maybe you’re just pissed off that I’m not tripping over my feet to beg you to take me back, but either way – you suck for doing this.” Ryan turned and walked out of the room, pausing long enough to mutter a final goodbye to George and the waitresses before moving to stand beside the table where Caleb, Kirsten and Sandy were waiting.  
  
“You ready?” Sandy asked, glancing at him.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“We’re going by your house to get the rest of your things and if we can’t get them all in the Rover, we’ll come back tomorrow,” Kirsten said.  
  
Caleb met his gaze over her shoulder. “There’s not that much. It shouldn’t take another trip.”  
  
Ryan jumped slightly as Teresa put her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t look at her as the Cohens and Caleb tossed cash on the table and started back out to the car.  
  
“Ryan, don’t leave mad.”  
  
“I’m leaving. Does it matter to you if I’m mad or not?” he muttered, shrugging off her hand. “Tell Eddie I’ll give him a call in a few days.”  
  
He was going to start a new life. He was leaving Chino behind him.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
  
  
  
“You all right?” Sandy asked Kirsten as they stood in the doorway of Ryan’s former house.  
  
He’d watched her go ghost white when she’d stepped across the threshold.  
  
“Kirsten?” Sandy called again.  
  
“This is where he lived?” she whispered.  
  
“Honey…” Sandy started, but she was looking around the garbage-strewn house. He winced when he saw what she had finally focused on - the small glass crackpipe shining in the sunlight under the window.  
  
“She…she used drugs with him in the house?” Kirsten asked, turning her eyes to him.  
  
“Kirsten. He doesn’t live here anymore and it’s too soon for us to bring it up. Let’s see if he needs any help,” Sandy said, putting an arm around her waist and guiding her to the bedroom.  
  
Ryan was standing over a bare mattress with textbooks and library books piled up as he flipped through them.  
  
“What can we carry?” Sandy asked, glancing at Caleb.  
  
“There’s not much, I already took most of my clothes. Arturo’s keeping Trey’s stuff for him, he’s already been over and got most of it,” Ryan said. He climbed up onto the bed and pulled a ceiling tile down and revealed a bundled stack of 5’s and 10’s and a waiter’s pad wrapped up in a rubber band. “This is where I kept my tips.”  
  
“We’ll open an account for you so you don’t tear up my ceilings,” Caleb said, watching him climb down.  
  
“I think Mom left some of my paperwork, like, immunization records and stuff in the kitchen,” Ryan said, hesitating.  
  
“We’ll check the kitchen,” Sandy offered, following Kirsten from the room.  
  
“This is no place for a child,” she hissed, kicking at the trash can they passed and making the liquor bottles clink.  
  
“Kirsten.”  
  
“I heard you the first time. You didn’t tell me that his house was like this…as if the abuse wasn’t bad enough…”  
  
“Kirsten,” he whispered, stopping her and turning her to face him.  
  
“He stays with us. You don’t let her get him back, Sandy. I don’t care what you have to do, but he stays with us now,” she said, her eyes cold.  
  
Sandy realized that Kirsten hadn’t fully grasped what Ryan’s life had been like until now and he wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing that she’d come here, or not. He should’ve told her but he wasn’t sure she could handle it and he still wasn’t.  
  
She turned away and began opening drawers searching for the papers Ryan had spoken of. “Here,” she said after the fourth drawer, pulling out a manila folder wrapped with a rubber band.  
  
Ryan and Caleb came in with a box each and Ryan nodded when he saw the file. Kirsten glanced at Sandy, pursed her lips and placed the file in Ryan’s box. “You ready to go home?”  
  
Ryan’s eyes were dark, but he nodded. “Yeah. I’m ready to get out of here.”  
  
\---------------  
  
Caleb frowned when he saw Julie Cooper’s car parked in his driveway.  
  
“Who invited Julie over?” Sandy asked, glancing at him.  
  
“Don’t look at me, I thought I had the cross hanging on the door to keep her away,” Caleb replied.  
  
“We called a truce,” Ryan said quietly from the back, climbing out of the car.  
  
“You did?” Kirsten asked, curiously. “When did you see her?”  
  
“I went to the beach last night. She stole my cigarettes,” Ryan replied, getting a box from the trunk.  
  
“Now that’s an idea to get you to quit,” Sandy smirked, following Caleb inside with the second box.  
  
Rosa was standing in the foyer with a confused expression on her face.  
  
“Rosa? Do we have guests?” Caleb questioned.  
  
“Mrs. Cooper brought Ryan some things. I didn’t hear any of them ticking, but she’s in there,” Rosa whispered, motioning toward the den.  
  
“Julie? What’s the occasion?” Kirsten asked, going into the room first.  
  
Julie was unfolding clothes from shopping bags and arranging them on hangers. “I did a little shopping for Ryan today when I went out with the girls. I knew you guys probably wouldn’t have time for it, and it’s the least I can do to make this transition easier.” She turned to Ryan and gave him a smile that Caleb thought was possibly genuine. “The girls are really excited about meeting you and you have them to thank for picking out the decorations in those bags,” she said. “And the receipts are all in the bags in case you want to return them.”  
  
“You didn’t have to…” Ryan started.  
  
“I know, but shopping is one of my few joys in life and a new person to shop for is a treat,” she said. “I’ll leave you to it. Jimmy will probably call you later, he’ll be upset if he knows I saw you without him.” She turned to Kirsten as she headed for the door. “He’s pretty protective and I don’t want him to think I’m overstepping my bounds. Ta.”  
  
“Weird,” Ryan whispered.  
  
“Did that just happen?” Caleb asked.  
  
“Well, she has good taste,” Kirsten remarked, looking at the assortment of jeans, slacks, shirts and dark suits.  
  
“How much do you think this stuff costs?” Ryan whispered, not moving toward the gifts.  
  
“You’re going to have to get used to the money in this town, it’s like water to these people,” Sandy said, patting him on the back.  
  
“Looks like you’ve got a long night of trying on clothes ahead of you,” Caleb said. “Lets get these things put away and you can start to settle in.”  
  
“And this stuff…” Ryan started.  
  
“It’s yours, it’s not exactly going to look the same on Dad,” Kirsten said, holding up a wifebeater.  
  
“You underestimate me, Kiki,” Caleb smiled.  
  
“All right, I guess,” Ryan said, finally going over to a group of bags and peeking inside. Caleb joined him and saw the BOSE stereo and small flat screen television in one of the bags.  
  
“Don’t question it, kid, we’ve got a lot of time to make up for and it’s only the best for my family,” Caleb said quietly.  
  
“I guess I just didn’t consider living here as being…like, this. With expensive clothes and fancy toys…” Ryan confessed. “It’s like this isn’t even real…”  
  
“This is your life now. You’re a Nichol. Or a Cooper. You’re part of our family and I know you aren’t used to it yet, but you have time,” Caleb said.  
  
“He’ll need a desk and a bookshelf for his room,” Kirsten said, starting toward the stairs with a load of clothes. “Ryan, let’s go look at your room and see what else you’ll need. You’re not a guest anymore and you need to make the room your own.”  
  
Ryan gave Caleb a glance and followed her with several bags.  
  
“Are you going to be able to make this work?” Sandy asked him when they were alone.  
  
“Yes, Sandy. He’s a good kid and he is a part of my family. Kirsten needs this and I think…maybe I do too. I’ve done a lot of wrong in my life and maybe this is my chance to get something right,” Caleb replied honestly.  
  
“I’m glad to hear that, Cal. Real glad. Let’s get upstairs before Kirsten tries to buy him a car or a pony to try and top Julie.”  
  
Caleb chuckled and picked up a load to carry upstairs.  
  
\---------------  
  
Hailey didn’t take the time to interrogate Sandy and Kirsten when they arrived at the hospital. Seth had been overly talkative all day, much of it revolving around his new brother, complete with a thorough interrogation of what he was like and she was looking forward to going home and having some of Rosa’s special espresso.  
  
She knew Ryan was living with Dad now, thanks to a quick phone call when Seth was asleep, and from the smiles on Sandy and Kirsten, she knew that things were going well. Kirsten hadn’t smiled like that since before their mother had died.  
  
She could get the scoop from her Dad.  
  
She was surprised at the silence in the downstairs part of the house when she got home, usually Rosa would be cooking and Caleb would be making business calls with his laptop in the den.  
  
She heard voices upstairs and made her way to the guest room that was now Ryan’s.  
  
“I think it’s a nice touch,” Caleb was saying. He was standing with Ryan in the doorway. Rosa was standing on a stepladder with a large “NO SMOKING” sign preparing to hang it.  
  
“I don’t like it. It’s not even funny,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“It is a little funny,” Hailey said, smiling as she took in the revamped room. “Nice digs.”  
  
“Julie Cooper went shopping for him,” Rosa said helpfully, nailing up the sign before giving Ryan a farewell pat and going to start dinner.  
  
“Julie?” Hailey asked. “I’m impressed.” The sheets were dark and expensive and she sat down on the bed to look at the room from a new perspective. A TV was positioned on the wall directly across from the bed with a stereo on a shelf below it. The curtains matched the new beddings and the opened closet was nearly bulging with clothes.  
  
“It’s more than I need,” Ryan said, his hands stuffed in his pockets.  
  
“Actually, it’s not enough. You do need a desk and bookshelves, and a video game machine like Seth has, so when he comes over,” Caleb said, winking at Hailey. “But we’ll figure it out as we go along.”  
  
“How was your day?” Hailey asked him. He sat down on the bed beside her, running his fingers across the soft fabric of the comforter.  
  
“Long. Weird. But…but I guess I live here now.”  
  
“We’re glad to have you, kid. Fresh blood,” she teased. “You start strutting around Newport in those clothes and you’re going to have chicks coming out of the woodwork.”  
  
Caleb cleared his throat. “Hailey, don’t make a bad impression. I’m not going to leave if you’re going to start passing out condoms to the boy.”  
  
Ryan blanched. “No, no – I can get my own condoms, that’s none of your concern, either of you.”  
  
Hailey smiled at his discomfort and Caleb even blushed a little before making a graceless exit.  
  
“Seriously, you totally freaked yet?” Hailey asked.  
  
“I’ve been freaked since I met Sandy the first time. It’s just…weird. I have new clothes, new house, new family, like, overnight. And I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Ryan admitted. “I don’t know how I should feel about it. I mean, my brother’s in jail and they don’t even want me to get a job. Am I just supposed to sit around all day and veg out?”  
  
“Yes. That’s what teenagers in Newport do. You have a second chance…at everything. And I, for one, have no doubt that you are going to blossom like a blooming onion.”  
  
“What is with you and the stupid metaphors?” Ryan asked, amused.  
  
She shrugged. “I need coffee, I’m running low on creativity.”  
  
“Good to know.” He hesitated. “Should I change for dinner? Like…is it formal here?”  
  
Hailey smiled. “No, kid, you can wear whatever you want. But Dad tends to frown upon nudity, and I am thankful for that, because, ew. I know this hard, moving in with strangers who have all these expectations for you, but…you’re in this for the long haul. If we’re pushing you too hard, you have to tell us.”  
  
“How does that work?” Ryan muttered, running a hand through his hair.  
  
“You say ‘Caleb, I don’t want a puppy’, or ‘Sandy, I don’t want to learn how to surf’,” Hailey said, faking a deep voice. “Like that.”  
  
“You don’t think he’s really going to buy me a puppy, do you?”  
  
“Fifteen years to make up for, kiddo. You’re probably going to be enjoying a deluge of gifts for the immediate future. You better get used to it.”  
  
“I thought you said I could tell you guys to slow down,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You can. But everyone wants to make sure you’re happy and to us Newpsies, that means spending money. Like, if your biological parents were Mexican, you’d have to learn how to eat only Mexican food, and since your biological parents are rich, you have to learn how to have money.”  
  
“I don’t think you should try to explain things to me anymore. It looks like your brain is hurting,” Ryan teased, smiling.  
  
She shoved him playfully. “Come on, let’s go annoy Rosa in the kitchen.”  
  
Ryan glanced at her suspiciously, but followed her down the stairs.  
  
\-----------  
  
  
  
Trey didn’t take the news as well as Ryan was hoping at first.  
  
Sandy gave him privacy sitting by the door and chatting with the guard that he seemed to know from previous work with clients.  
  
“What the fuck are you thinking?” Trey whispered, watching Sandy with malicious flashing eyes over Ryan’s shoulder.  
  
“What other choice do I have, Trey? They’re…they’re really nice, and AJ…he’ll kill me, you know he will,” Ryan replied.  
  
“How do you know they’re not just keeping you around in case their kid needs spare parts?” Trey asked.  
  
“Because, Trey…I trust them. I mean, as much as I trust anyone else right now. I…I tried to do it by myself, Trey, and I can’t, I can’t drop out of school and I can’t get an apartment and I don’t have any buddies to let me crash on their floor…”  
  
“Eddie said he’d let you stay…”  
  
“I don’t want to hide, Trey,” Ryan hissed. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and Trey’s expression softened. Ryan sighed. “I had to weigh my options and this was the best one for me at the moment. When you get out, when I turn 16, things will probably change, but right now…I don’t have anywhere else to go and they’re opening their home to me.”  
  
“Well, they owe you for ditching you, but – like…you really trust them?”  
  
“They say I can visit you as much as I want, and I can go to Chino when I want. All they’ve asked me to do is stay in school. They kept me out of foster care, Trey…” Ryan said, meeting his gaze. “And you wouldn’t believe where I’m staying…you just wouldn’t believe it…”  
  
Trey sighed heavily, reaching across the table and patting Ryan’s face tenderly on the cheek. “You’re a smart kid. I have to trust your instincts.” He nodded at Sandy, beckoning him over to the table.  
  
Sandy immediately came over and sat down beside Ryan. He pushed out a piece of paper. Trey examined it warily. “It’s got the numbers you can use to reach Ryan. He’s staying at Caleb’s for the moment, but Kirsten and I hope he can move in with us soon.”  
  
“You’re the lawyer, his real mother’s wife. Caleb’s his grandpa?” Trey asked.  
  
Sandy nodded, realizing that Ryan hadn’t given Trey explicit details yet.  
  
“Because Seth, their son, is so sick, social services wanted me somewhere stable,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
“Stable? That’s going to be new for you,” Trey said. He nodded to Sandy. “Thanks for this,” he said, raising the paper. “And for keeping him in school, that’s where he needs to be.”  
  
“I’m glad you agree.”  
  
“The kid’s kind of important to me, I hope he’s making the right decision,” Trey said, giving Sandy a steady look.  
  
“If you have any questions, my number’s on the bottom. Ryan’s free to see you as much as he wants, as long as it’s not getting him into trouble,” Sandy said.  
  
Trey nodded. “Thanks. But what about when I get out? You going to give my little brother back?”  
  
Sandy glanced between them. “Ryan’s not a piece of property, he’s a person and we’re not looking to fight over him. But he’s a member of my family now and that means I want him safe and healthy and happy. In other words, if you can provide a stable home for him and it’s what’s in Ryan’s best interests, he would be welcome to stay with you. You keep your record clean for six months and we’ll talk.”  
  
“My lawyer says nine months minimum,” Trey muttered.  
  
“Like I said,” Sandy said, tapping over his number on the paper. “Keep your nose clean six months and call me.”  
  
Ryan was surprised but Trey was much more relaxed after Sandy’s speech.  
  
“Kirsten and I are kind of hoping Ryan will stay with us until he’s 18. So we can pay for his college and make sure he reaches his full potential,” Sandy said quietly. “But you’ve gotten him this far, Trey, and we’re grateful for your hand in taking care of him. We’ll take care of him and when you get out, we’ll talk but I’m not making any promises before that day.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Trey conceded. “Thanks for the smokes, little brother. I’ll call you tomorrow at the old man’s house, all right? Let me talk to the lawyer a second.”  
  
Ryan glanced between them warily, but finally stood up and moved to the door, the guard nodding as he opened the door and let him out.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Sandy looked at the young man across from him, expecting a threat or warning judging by the hard look in his eyes.  
  
Trey traced the edge of the paper before folding it up. “Aspirin gives him heartburn, he has to take those Advil things instead and a glass of milk helps. And don’t let him watch those real life surgery shows because they give him bad dreams. He gets migraines sometimes if he gets too hot and you have to close the blinds and turn all the lights off and make him drink unsweetened tea until he falls asleep.”  
  
Sandy was stunned. “Thank you.”  
  
“He’ll get pissy if he doesn’t get two cups of coffee in the morning and he eats his cereal dry, you have to give him the milk in a separate glass or he won’t eat it,” Trey added, clenching his fists and leaning back. “And make sure he doesn’t read in the dark, I always say he’s going to go blind doing that.”  
  
“We’ll do our best, Trey. I promise, he’s going to be fine. It has to be hard being stuck in here without being able to see him, but I mean it when I say you can call me any time if you want to know how he’s doing,” Sandy promised.  
  
“Thanks. And if…if he gets sick, or in trouble, you call me, okay?”  
  
“If I have any questions, I’ll most definitely give you a call, I’ll keep you as informed as I can, okay?” Sandy offered his hand and shook Trey’s firmly, following Ryan's path out of the visitation room.  
  
Ryan was leaning against the railing smoking a cigarette when Sandy exited the prison. “Should I be worried about what he told you?”  
  
“He just gave me some advice on how to take care of you. Migraines?” Sandy questioned, getting into the car.  
  
“A couple of times, a long time ago, I can’t believe he told you that,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“He seems to care about you a lot.”  
  
“Did you mean what you said? You and Kirsten and Caleb would let me move in with him?” Ryan asked.  
  
“If it was what you wanted. It’s not what we want for you, but if it’s where you’d be happiest, we have no right to to ask you to stay. Social services may fight you.”  
  
Ryan nodded. “Okay. I get it. I…I might not want to go if he’s living in some halfway house or something.”  
  
“How’d you sleep last night at Caleb’s?”  
  
“Good, actually. It’s still too much, but…I could get used to clean sheets and three square meals a day,” Ryan admitted. “Caleb’s really nice and Hailey’s…weird, but nice, too. How’s Seth?”  
  
“He’s doing remarkably well, he insists that you gave him super-strong bone marrow and that’s why he feels so much better,” Sandy said. “He might be able to come home next week.”  
  
“I figured I could go and see him, since I don’t have school or anything,” Ryan said.  
  
“I think that’d be nice. And speaking of school, I made some calls the other day after speaking with your guidance counselor.”  
  
“Uh oh,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Because it’s the middle of a semester, we can’t enroll you anywhere but I’ve spoken with the Dean of Harbor and she’s says if we hire a tutor you can start in January with full credits,” Sandy said.  
  
“Harbor, isn’t that the expensive private school?” Ryan asked slowly.  
  
“Kirsten, Jimmy and Hailey went there, Caleb’s on the board of the school. It’s close by and has an excellent reputation,” Sandy said.  
  
“I don’t think I’ll really fit in at private school.”  
  
Sandy smiled. “I think you’re going to do great. Just think about it, the tutor’s going to come by next week and we’ll discuss school after you’ve gotten the hang of that, okay?”  
  
“All right. Private school, I’m glad you didn’t tell Trey that, he’d never let me hear the end of it,” Ryan snorted.  
  
“I’m also supposed to bring up something else with you on the ride back,” Sandy said.  
  
“You’re like, the mediator,” Ryan smiled. “It’s cool. Break it to me easy.”  
  
“Well, Newport’s a strange place, and Caleb’s at the top of the social class in their weird little bubble  
. Kirsten and Jimmy are like the second most successful people in town and instead of hiding you away like they’re ashamed of you, they’d like to throw a party to introduce you to the town. That way, they won’t be able to gossip and whisper about you, everything will be out in the open.”  
  
“A party?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Fancy dresses, you’d have to wear a suit and shake a lot of hands, but it’s a part of Newport life,” Sandy said.  
  
“I don’t know. A little out of my depth, I think,” Ryan said.  
  
“It would mean a lot to Kirsten and Jimmy,” Sandy said. “And I know they’d be there to keep you entertained.”  
  
“I’ll think about it,” Ryan said. He leaned his head against the window. “No school, no job. What am I supposed to do all day?”  
  
“Go to the beach, go to the movies. Hang out with other kids…try and be a kid for a little while,” Sandy said. “You might even like it.”  
  
Ryan snorted, but his eyes were bright.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Julie sat with Jimmy sipping her impeccable mimosa. It was amazing how much better Rosa’s service was when she liked you.  
  
Ryan was sitting in the floor with Kaitlyn and Marissa, a care bear balanced on each knee and holding a teacup with his pinky extended from Marissa’s explicit instruction.  
  
“He’s really good with the girls,” Julie said, sliding closer to Jimmy on the couch.  
  
“Thanks, Jules. For making nice,” Jimmy replied, kissing her cheek and draping an arm around her.  
  
“He seems like a nice boy. A little rough around the edges but all the best ones are,” Julie winked at him.  
  
Kaitlyn came over and smiled at them, clearly about to beg for something. “Can we have ice cream? Ryan says they have lots of ice cream but I have to ask you first.”  
  
“Just a little, you’re going swimming later and we don’t want you getting cramps,” Jimmy replied.  
  
“Thanks, Daddy,” Kaitlyn said, skipping back to where Ryan was getting up.  
  
“Asking us for permission, was that our little brat?” Julie asked, stunned.  
  
Jimmy laughed and pulled her into a hug.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan was bone tired, but he took advantage of the break after dinner to escape down to the beach by himself.  
  
He’d played with his sisters for the first time and he felt like a new toy and wondered when they’d get tired of him. But they were nice, in a strange way.  
  
He’d pulled one of the new sweatshirts that Julie had bought him on before coming to the beach tonight and it was dark and he hoped it would hide him from any hovering Nichol or Cohen that might come searching.  
  
He cupped his hand over his cigarette and lit it quickly before the breeze blew out the flame.  
  
He sat down to watch the waves and try to compose his thoughts.  
  
He heard the soft footsteps in the sand. “Can I bum a light? All I’ve got is matches and this breeze is fucking me up,” a feminine voice asked.  
  
Ryan held out his cigarette, following the curvy legs up to a pretty blonde girl with a pink streak in her hair. She used the ember of his cigarette to light her own, passing it back.  
  
“Thanks,” she said.  
  
“Any time,” he replied.  
  
She laughed. “Haven’t seen you around. Mind if I sit?”  
  
“Nope. It’s a public beach.”  
  
She sat down and gave him a strange look. “No, it’s not. I’m not even supposed to be here.”  
  
“Really? A private beach? Weird,” Ryan said.  
  
“You really are new. I’m Alex,” she introduced.  
  
“Ryan. I just…moved here. Sort of,” he said. “I’m still coming to terms with it. You a local?”  
  
“No, I’m just here for the work. These rich people are insane tippers and I work a couple of jobs around here. Got a small place of my own, but it’s mine,” she said. “You?”  
  
“Long story, but I’m staying with relatives. My mom, she kind of left me in the lurch and I had to move here,” Ryan said.  
  
“Well, welcome to Newport, Ryan,” she said.  
  
“Thanks,” he smiled. “Maybe you could show me around sometime.”  
  
“Maybe,” she replied, smiling back.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Kirsten returned from getting coffee and found Seth still chattering animatedly to Ryan who was watching him with an amused expression.  
  
Usually Seth was exhausted after a long visit with more than one person, but Ryan had been here for over an hour and Seth was still going strong.  
  
She was amazed at how well the two of them were getting along. Ryan was patient and attentive, following Seth’s chatter better than she could and asking him questions to show that he was listening.  
  
Ryan seemed to be putting all his effort into getting to know his siblings now that he was definitely staying in town. She wanted to hug him and tell him how special he was and how much she loved him already.  
  
“I’ll come back tomorrow and see how you’re doing,” Ryan said, glancing at Kirsten with a tired smile.  
  
“Seth, I’m going to drive Ryan home, your Dad’s on his way, he called from the parking lot,” she told Seth.  
  
“Okay, Mom. And I’ll be looking for you tomorrow,” Seth told Ryan, slapping hands with him in farewell.  
  
“I’ll rest up, see if I can keep up with you,” Ryan replied.  
  
Kirsten winked at Seth who beamed back at her, clearly happy with his second visit and she followed Ryan into the hall.  
  
“Hope that wasn’t too much for you,” she said.  
  
“He’s a cool kid. Really smart for his age. I’m supposed to study up on my comics, he says he has lots to teach me,” Ryan said.  
  
She waited until they were in the car before getting the nerve to stop the small talk. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’re here. That you’re giving me a chance to be a part of your life.”  
  
“Well, that kind of goes both ways. Meeting Seth, and Marissa and Kaitlyn…it’s hard for me to just forget about them. And you,” he said thoughtfully. “I miss Chino, and I still wonder how my mom is doing and Trey…and it still feels kind of like a vacation – not permanent…but it’s nice. To not have to worry about money and school and social services.”  
  
“I’d much rather have you worried about girlfriends and sports than those things. Sandy and I would love it if you’d come over for dinner with the two of us sometime soon.”  
  
Ryan nodded. “That’s cool. I hate bumming rides from people, though,” he admitted.  
  
“Well, it’s a pretty long walk, even though it’s safe. How about a bike?”  
  
“A motorcycle?” Ryan asked, smiling to show her he was joking, but definite interest in his eyes.  
  
“Not quite. Seth has a skateboard that he hasn’t been able to ride in a while, but you seem like a bike kind of kid,” she said.  
  
“I had one, but it got stolen. Or pawned, I could never prove it,” Ryan replied.  
  
“There’s a bike shop down by the pier. We could stop there, if you’d like. That way you could get around more on your own.”  
  
“That would be really nice. Are you sure?” Ryan questioned after a moment.  
  
“Yes, Ryan. And there are other stores, too. You could get some cds for yourself and there’s a bookstore connected to the comic shop,” she added.  
  
“Seth gave me a list,” Ryan said.  
  
”Really? He gave me one too, the tricky devil,” Kirsten smiled.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan recognized the pink streak from across the boardwalk and made his way over to the coffee stand.  
  
She glanced up at him and gave him a surprised smile. “Hi. Can I help you?”  
  
“I really hope so,” he replied with a confident smile. “But I have some questions before I tell you how you can help me.”  
  
Her eyes flashed, curiously and she leaned across the counter, tipping her paper hat. “All right.”  
  
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, looking at the menu and avoiding her eyes.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Girlfriend?” he asked playfully.  
  
She smiled wider. “No.”  
  
“Okay,” he said, closing the menu. “Can I get a large coffee, black?”  
  
“Of course. Is that it?” she asked, laughing openly.  
  
“What time do you get off?”  
  
“Seven. But I have to be at my night job by nine,” she replied, turning to the coffee machine and filling a cup for him. “We could meet there, it’s a club down the boardwalk, the Bait Shop. You got a passable fake id?”  
  
Ryan took the cup and nodded at her. “I’ll see you there.”  
  
\-----------------------  
  
“Where do you think you’re going?” Hailey caught Ryan by the collar of his jacket.  
  
“Um, out? Caleb said I could go where I wanted,” Ryan replied.  
  
Hailey examined her new nephew, appraising his dark jacket and mussed hair. Worn jeans and scuffed boots. “You’re going to meet a chick.”  
  
Ryan glared at her. “I’m going to meet a friend.”  
  
“Making friends already? What’s this friend’s name?” Hailey asked.  
  
“Alex.”  
  
Hailey studied his face for dishonesty. “Okay, kid. But I got you this today,” she said, holding out a small cell phone. “It’s got all our numbers on it and you can call Chino without long distance bills,” she added. “You call me if you get wasted, or robbed or something.”  
  
“If I take it, I can go?” Ryan asked, staring at it.  
  
“Be good,” she said, as he hurried away.  
  
She climbed into her car and tried not to wonder what he’d get into in Newport.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
“I get off at midnight,” Alex said, sliding her hand into Ryan’s back pocket as she passed him on her way behind the bar.  
  
“I should probably be gone by then,” Ryan replied, feeling the heat from her cheek as she leaned in close.  
  
It had been a good night. The club was slow since it was a weeknight and no band was playing and he’d enjoyed flirting with Alex while she worked as barback. She wasn’t old enough to serve drinks, but she collected money and cleaned up after the bartender.  
  
“How about I take a break now and walk you to your bike?” she asked, her voice sultry in his ear.  
  
“That would be great,” he replied.  
  
Alex sauntered behind the bar, clearly appreciating Ryan’s appreciation of her ass. She whispered something to the bartender who gave her a smile and waved her off.  
  
They were kissing before they walked through the doors, her lips sweet and her mouth hungry.  
  
He pushed her against the wall of the club, equally hungry for her.  
  
She was hot and cool and not stuck up and she liked him.  
  
He liked her too, more than he’d liked any girl in a while. He’d been too busy with his mom and work and school and Trey and too hung up on Teresa’s betrayal to even look at another girl.  
  
“Mm, Alex…maybe…I can see you…again…soon…” he said between breaths and kisses.  
  
“I have Thursday off…” she said quickly, blushing.  
  
He forced himself to let go of her, taking her hand. He didn’t want to push his luck and wanted to show that he could go slow, too. But he really liked kissing her. She was damned sexy. “That sounds cool. Maybe…if the guy I’m staying with is out, you could come over. See my place. We have a pool.”  
  
“A pool, huh? Make sure it’s okay with ‘the guy’ and I’ll give you a call,” she said, giving him a weird look.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Who are you staying with?”  
  
“The guy is my…biological grandfather. Like, I was adopted and I just met my real family recently. It’s all kind of new and I don’t really know how to explain it,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Seems like you just did a pretty good job,” she smiled, kissing him softly on the lips. “I’ll call you Thursday.”  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan was sneaking a cigarette while Caleb was arranging delivery of the new furniture they’d picked out. He had just lit it when the girl approached him, her nose slightly turned up and her skirt teasingly short.  
  
“You shouldn’t be leaning on that car. I should call security,” she said.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Do you know who’s car that is?” she replied, her green eyes flashing.  
  
He looked her up and down. He’d fucked many a spitfire like her after too many beers. “Obviously you do.”  
  
“What are you even doing here? You get off at the wrong bus stop?” she hissed.  
  
Caleb appeared and smiled at him. The girl turned around. “Mr. Nichol, I found this street urchin casing your car, do you want me to call the police?”  
  
“Miss Sathers, I see you’ve met my grandson. Ryan, this is Jess Sathers, the daughter of a friend of mine,” Caleb introduced, smiling and putting an arm around Ryan.  
  
“Your grandson?” Jess asked, paling a shade.  
  
“You ready to go home?” Caleb asked him.  
  
“Sure. Nice to meet you, Jess,” Ryan said, flicking his cigarette off to the side and climbing into Caleb’s car. Well, at least he knew what he was getting into.  
  
“I made the mistake of dating her mother a few times,” Caleb said, starting the Jag. He shuddered. “Definitely a bad idea.”  
  
“Good to know,” Ryan smiled.  
  
“I want you to make friends, but not with that girl, she’s bad news,” Caleb said.  
  
“It’s cool.”  
  
“You’ve been going out a little more lately, can I ask what you’ve been doing?” Caleb asked, pretending like it wasn’t a loaded question.  
  
“I’ve made some friends. I usually just go down to the beach to clear my head. Hang out by the pier. Me and Hailey went to the movies last night,” he said.  
  
Caleb seemed to relax. “Good. I’m glad you’re spending some time on your own, I know all this forced family time has to be hard on you.”  
  
“I…I invited a friend over tomorrow. I hope that’s okay. I thought…we could use the pool?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Of course, it needs to be used, I barely use it anymore and Hailey goes over to Kirsten’s a lot because she says the neighbors ogle her,” Caleb said.  
  
“What?” Ryan asked, startled.  
  
“No, she’s just paranoid, they’re never even home. She just likes to spy on Julie,” Caleb smiled.  
  
“Cool.”  
  
“I was going into work tomorrow and was a little nervous leaving you home alone. It’s good you have someone to keep you company,” Caleb said, nodding at him.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Okay, so it wasn’t exactly her second date, more like the third meeting, but she didn’t think she was making a mistake with this one. This one was a good one, she could feel it.  
  
She knew all about bad timing, but this kid had just moved to Newport and he wasn’t like most of the assholes she’d met. He was funny and sexy and looked like he could hold his own in a battle and she wasn’t going to question the good timing.  
  
He liked her and he hadn’t even given another girl a passing glance while flirting with her.  
  
She didn’t even date rich boys, but if it hadn’t been for the mansion he took her too on Thursday, she wouldn’t have known that he was a rich boy.  
  
“I know it’s big, but I hope you won’t hold it against me,” Ryan had said, when he led her inside.  
  
She hadn’t. He kissed like a porn star…  
  
She kept waiting for him to make a move, they’d been making out on his bed since she’d gotten there, the movie he’d popped in the DVD player on its second repeat.  
  
“When are we going to get down to business?” she said, turning her face away and pushing him backward against the bed.  
  
“I’m trying to go slow, I want to make sure I hit all the bases,” Ryan replied, his eyes dark with lust and restraint. “First there’s kissing…” he said, leaning over and kissing her breath away. “Then there’s on top of the clothes stuff…” he said, leaning her back against the bed and tracing his hands over her breasts and under her shirt until he ventured into her unbuttoned jeans. He began to massage her clit through her damp panties, watching her carefully. “And then, if I’m a good boy, I might get to move on to some oral…”  
  
“I’ve never met a boy like you,” she said, honestly, pulling her jeans off with a kick and rolling over to kiss him again.  
  
“I might not know how to be a rich little Newport boy, but I bet I can make you scream in twenty minutes or less,” he whispered gruffly in her ear as he slid his thumbs under the straps of her thong.  
  
“You think I’m that easy?” Alex smirked.  
  
“No, I think I’m that good,” he replied, capturing her lips again to muffle her laugh.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
“Alex is a girl,” Caleb said, not looking at Hailey when she walked in.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Ryan’s new friend, Alex is a girl. And I’m pretty sure he just had sex with her upstairs,” Caleb added.  
  
“Dad! How would you know?” Hailey scolded, joining him by the window in the kitchen.  
  
She followed his gaze to where Ryan was kissing a tall, lithe blonde against the wall of the pool. Caleb really did know all the best places to snoop because she knew Ryan couldn’t see them from outside. She remembered why she’d stopped bringing men home.  
  
“He must like her a lot,” Hailey said.  
  
“I guess I should be happy he’s making…friends. And that he feels comfortable enough to bring them home, but…I hadn’t factored in the whole safe sex talk. They worked so well for you and Kirsten,” Caleb said, glaring at her.  
  
“He’s a pretty smart kid, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing,” Hailey said. She watched as Ryan turned around and helped Alex out of the pool by lifting her up onto the edge. “Are those scars on his back?”  
  
“I think so. Explains why he wouldn’t go swimming the other day with Jimmy’s girls. He must be pretty comfortable with her to take his shirt off,” Caleb said.  
  
“I feel like a perv watching them,” Hailey said. “Give him some privacy.”  
  
“I don’t know that girl. I don’t know her parents…” Caleb started.  
  
“Dad, if you start trying to pick Ryan’s friends, it’s only going to make this harder,” Hailey said.  
  
Ryan and Alex walked into the kitchen and froze, spotting the two of them by the window. “Hey,” Ryan said.  
  
“Hi, kid. I’m Hailey, you must be Alex,” Hailey said, offering her hand to the familiar girl.  
  
“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Alex seemed to recognize her too but neither of them said anything.  
  
“And this is Caleb,” Hailey said, as Caleb nodded to her.  
  
“Rosa made us lunch earlier, you’re welcome to join us,” Caleb said, finally recovering enough to speak.  
  
“Thanks. I’m going to change clothes,” Alex said, hurrying out of the kitchen. Ryan started to follow her but Hailey cleared her throat and he froze mid-step, giving her a guilty look.  
  
“Yes?” he asked.  
  
“You and Alex taking precautions?” Hailey asked, ignoring the horrified look on Caleb’s face.  
  
Ryan ignored him, his cheeks flushing. “Excuse me?”  
  
Hailey stared him down.  
  
“My brother got the clap when he was 14 and it sucked – I’ve never had sex without a condom. And Alex is on the pill,” Ryan stated quietly.  
  
“All right,” Hailey nodded. She turned to her dad. “Anything else?”  
  
“Take the girl out to dinner, Ryan,” Caleb said.  
  
“Um. Okay. You guys going to be nice if she stays for lunch?” Ryan asked, still seeming stunned by the safe-sex ambush.  
  
“Yes, Ryan, we’ll be nice,” Hailey promised.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
“He hasn’t been here a week and he’s already got a girlfriend, he’s fucking one of the little street rats from down at the pier,” Jess was saying when Ryan passed by the cluster of teenagers outside the bike store as he started to go inside to get a new lock for it.  
  
He hesitated, turning to face them. Jess obviously hadn’t recognized him in the new clothes he was wearing today since he was meeting Julie and the girls for lunch at the Yacht Club later.  
  
He’d always blended into the background at school and let Trey take the lead in most of his social gatherings, but he was on his own here. And this little bitch was trying to make things worse for him.  
  
“In case you were wondering what I look like, here I am,” Ryan said coldly, smiling at them. “Hi. Would hate for you to not recognize me and forget to put your wallet and purses somewhere safe.” He turned and went into the shop, nodding to the saleslady that recognized him from his first visit. She immediately knew what he was there for and went into the back to get his order.  
  
“Jess is a bitch,” a voice announced. “But not everyone here agrees with her. She’s just the first to get to see you so everyone’s going to her for information. I’d like to welcome you to Newport.”  
  
Ryan glared at the kid, but didn’t make any judgment immediately. He was right about Jess being a bitch so at least he was telling the truth. “Ryan,” he said, offering his hand.  
  
“Zach Stevens. So, are you going to Harbor?”  
  
“In the spring,” Ryan replied, still trying to get a read on the clean-cut kid.  
  
“You can probably tell that we don’t get many new arrivals around here so you’re pretty big news. I play basketball with some guys after school at the park, if you ever want to join us,” Zach said. “We’re heading over there in a few minutes.”  
  
Ryan shrugged, noncommittally.  
  
“What, you don’t play basketball? You look like a pretty athletic guy, you have to do something,” Zach said, nervously.  
  
“I’m just trying to mind my own business and get settled in,” Ryan replied. He nodded his chin toward the exit. “Now, why don’t you go tell your buddies they’ll have to find another time to jump me because I’ve got things to do today.”  
  
Zach seemed genuinely surprised to see the small group of boys hovering outside, attempting to look menacing in their white bread way. But Ryan didn’t trust him. He’d never mixed well with snotty rich kids, an ass usually ended up being kicked and even though he was feeling back to his old self, he didn’t think he could take out all of them. And Julie would probably be pissed if she bled on his expensive dress shirt.  
  
“Dude, it’s not like that…” Zach started.  
  
“Ryan? Here’s the lock Kirsten ordered for you, let us know if there’s anything else you need,” the saleslady said, smiling at him and holding out a small package.  
  
“Thanks. It was nice to meet you, Zach, I’ll see you around,” Ryan said, walking past him without making eye contact.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
  
“So, you guys met at Berkeley?” Ryan asked, enjoying his dinner with Kirsten and Sandy much more than he’d expected. Sandy seemed to be a genuinely nice guy and Kirsten was like a different person with him. She was relaxed and laid back, not like the proper business lady that he’d almost had her pegged as.  
  
“I was picketing outside the cafeteria and Kirsten tried to cross the picket line for a latte,” Sandy smirked.  
  
“He learned never to get between a Nichol and their caffeine,” Kirsten smiled.  
  
“And the rest was history. Her parents hated me, which is always the sign that a relationship is meant to be,” Sandy said.  
  
Ryan could see the love between them and it made him have hope that marriage actually did work for some people.  
  
“Are you fitting in all right over at Dad’s?” Kirsten asked.  
  
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s still…weird. Rosa cooks everything. She caught me making a sandwich yesterday and today the fridge is full of sandwiches. I keep worrying I’m going to offend her if I try to do my laundry,” he admitted.  
  
“She definitely takes her job seriously. She caught Kirsten trying to make cupcakes once and I thought she was going to break out in hives,” Sandy smiled.  
  
“But I’m getting used to it. It’s not hard to get used to ‘less work’,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Have you talked to your friends in Chino?” Kirsten asked.  
  
“George is doing good, says he hired a couple of new waitresses, he keeps trying to hook me up,” Ryan replied. “And Eddie’s got a couch now, so that’s good, he’s buying a piece of furniture every time he gets paid.”  
  
“And Teresa?” Sandy asked.  
  
Ryan shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her. Eddie says she’s doing fine. It’s all right. She decided she’d rather be an ex-girlfriend instead of a friend.”  
  
Kirsten shook her head. “I’m sorry, Ryan.”  
  
“It’s okay. It’s kind of made things easier. There’s nothing really binding me to Chino,” Ryan replied.  
  
Sandy’s phone went off and he left the table to answer it.  
  
“I’m sorry about Teresa, Ryan. But I…I’m glad you’re not bound to Chino anymore. Can I make a confession?”  
  
Ryan was curious and nodded.  
  
“I don’t want you to ever live like you did in Chino again. No one should hit you, no one should use drugs in front of you…you’re 15 and you shouldn’t have to worry about money or how to get to school…you shouldn’t have to worry about anything except being 15,” she said. “I know you’re not ready for me to be your mother, and I know you may never accept me as your mother…but I care about you, I love you so much and I’ve just found you…I just want you to know how important you are to this family and to me. I’d…I’d do anything to take it all back and be able to have had you as my son all along…”  
  
Ryan didn’t know what to say.  
  
“You’re such a good brother to Seth and Jimmy can’t stop talking about how much the girls like you.”  
  
“They’re cool. Hyper, but I think they must put something in the water around here for that,” Ryan said, filing her earlier words away. “Seth seems so out of place in that hospital.”  
  
“I’ll be so glad to have him home. This house is so empty without him. But he wants to move into Dad’s so he can hang out with you,” Kirsten smiled.  
  
Ryan folded his napkin and placed it beside his plate. “Maybe I could stay over a few nights when he comes home. If you think it would make things easier.”  
  
Kirsten’s face lit up but she quickly tried to hide her eagerness. “That would be nice. We already fixed up a room for you…”  
  
Ryan relaxed slightly, forcing himself to stop doubting things and just listen. “Social services came by Caleb’s the other day.”  
  
“He told us, but everything’s fine. I’m glad they’re checking up on you, making sure that we’re taking care of you,” Kirsten replied. “I wish they’d done that when you were in Chino.”  
  
“It wasn’t that bad,” he said quietly. “Me and Trey just learned how to stay out of the way, do things ourselves so we didn’t have to depend on anyone. We were happy enough,” he added.  
  
“Can you…will you tell me about the happy times?” Kirsten asked.  
  
Ryan tried to think. “Trey taught me how to drive when I was 10. Mom was actually dating a nice guy and he’d send us to the store for cigarettes and instead of walking, Trey would drive his pickup. It was only, like, 2 blocks, but one night, he made me sit behind the steering wheel. He had to push the seat up all the way to the front because I was so short and I still couldn’t reach the pedals.”  
  
“Did you make it home?” she asked, smiling.  
  
“We were going, like, 1 mile per hour but the car was in drive and I thought I was doing okay. Then Rick, my mom’s boyfriend, walks up to the window - because we’re driving so slow – and tells Trey to let the handbrake down. Then Rick hopped in the back and let me drive around the block a couple of times.”  
  
“I want it on record that I don’t want you to teach Seth how to drive without me or Sandy there,” she joked.  
  
Ryan smiled. “Okay. I think…being a big brother is hard,” he said. “Trey took the ‘do as I say, not as I do,’ approach. Telling me to go to school while he’s dropping out. Telling me to get a legit job while he’s out stealing cars. He thought making money was good enough to take care of the two of us, but now he’s locked up and him going away was not part of the plan.”  
  
“Did he live with you?” Kirsten asked.  
  
“Yeah. AJ hated it, but Trey stayed because he didn’t want me to have to be there alone,” Ryan admitted, clenching his fists under the table. “If he’d just left me behind, maybe he wouldn’t have done something so stupid.”  
  
“It’s not your fault. Him being in jail, it doesn’t make him a bad brother. It sounds like he was a very good brother. People make the best of their situations and sometimes they make bad decisions.”  
  
“You guys have been really cool about everything, like, letting me see Trey,” Ryan said.  
  
“He’s your brother,” Kirsten said. “He’s been your brother for 15 years and that’s never going to change.”  
  
Sandy reappeared. “Sorry about that. She wasn’t telling you more Berkeley stories without me was she?”  
  
Ryan was relieved to have Sandy’s buffering presence back but the one on one with Kirsten had been enlightening despite the uncomfortableness of it.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Hailey was pissed that the guy she was supposed to meet flaked on her without even texting her an excuse.  
  
She glimpsed a familiar face at the end of the bar. So this was where she knew Alex from. She leaned forward and recognized Ryan perched on the last barstool.  
  
She hadn’t expected to find Ryan at a club. She grabbed her drink and started toward him when Alex left his side, fully intending to drag his underage ass home.  
  
She saw that he was drinking coffee when she sat down beside him. “You’re so busted.”  
  
“For what? I’m not out past curfew,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You’re at a club.”  
  
“So? I’m just hanging out, I’m not getting into trouble,” Ryan defended. “Alex works here and I’m just keeping her company. Making sure none of these rich assholes give her a hard time,” he added.  
  
She thought back to the parties and friends she’d had when she was fifteen and realized that he was behaving himself much better than she ever did.  
  
“What are you doing here? I thought you had a date,” Ryan said.  
  
“He stood me up. And if Kirsten knows this is where you go at nights, she’ll have my ass.”  
  
Ryan held up his arm with the orange wristband. “I’m not pushing my luck, they’re not serving me.” He paused. “You really think it’s a big deal I’m here?”  
  
She hesitated. “Maybe. But you’re staying out of trouble and following all the rules…but you might want to keep it to yourself for a while,” Hailey said.  
  
“I’m kind of glad I ran into you. I need to know what the hell to do about this big party Kirsten and Julie keep talking about this weekend,” Ryan said.  
  
“What do you mean? You have to go, it’s your party,” Hailey said. “It’ll be fine.”  
  
“Mingling with a bunch of rich strangers. Not fine,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“Did you ask Alex?”  
  
“I didn’t know if I could,” Ryan said. “I just know I have to dress up. It’d be cool if she could come, though. But she likes rich kids about as much as I do.”  
  
Hailey snorted. Alex chose that moment to return with a dishpan full of glasses. “Hi, Hailey. Is this a social visit or is Ryan in trouble?”  
  
“He’s not in trouble,” Hailey said. “But he has something to ask you.”  
  
Ryan glared at her but spoke to Alex. “Remember that fancy party I told you about? Hailey said that it’s cool if you come.”  
  
Alex gave him an amused look. “So, are you asking me to go?”  
  
“Didn’t I just say that?” Ryan replied, his eyes flashing flirtatiously. Hailey was impressed by the kid’s game.  
  
“It’s formal?” Alex asked Hailey.  
  
“Afraid so. But you’re about my size, I’m sure I have something that would fit you,” Hailey said. “Ryan could probably use some backup to deal with the Newpsies.”  
  
“Aren’t you a Newpsie?” Ryan snorted.  
  
“Only by default, not by choice,” Hailey replied. She glanced back at Alex. “What do you say?”  
  
“You sure you want your ‘street rat’ girlfriend at your first introduction to Newport society?” Alex asked.  
  
“No, but I would love it if you’d come with me,” Ryan replied. Alex smiled and Hailey could see the sparks between them.  
  
“Come by the house tomorrow around lunch and I’ll show you the dresses I have,” Hailey said. She turned to Ryan and pointed at him. “You - be home by midnight.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am,” Ryan replied with a dramatic salute.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
“Don’t be nervous,” Jimmy said, patting him on the shoulders and loosening the tie that Sandy had taught him how to knot earlier.  
  
“Easy for you to say,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You’re going to impress the shit out of them,” he grinned.  
  
There was a knock on his opened door and Alex stuck her head in, looking gorgeous in a dark green gown with her hair put up in a loose bow.  
  
“Hey,” he grinned. “Jimmy, this is my friend, Alex,” he introduced, going over to her. “You look great,” he whispered, kissing her cheek chastely.  
  
“Alex, it’s great to meet you,” Jimmy beamed, shaking her hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”  
  
She was blushing. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” she smiled.  
  
“Let’s go downstairs and show you both off,” Jimmy said, ushering them from the room.  
  
“You nervous?” Alex asked him when he hesitated at the foot of the stairs.  
  
“Is it obvious?” Ryan replied.  
  
“A little,” she smiled. “It’s better to get it over quickly. Like ripping a band aid off.”  
  
He took a deep breath. “All right,” he said, walking into the room that was already brimming with people.  
  
“There he is,” Julie smiled, placing a hand on his arm. “This is Jimmy and Kirsten’s son, Ryan Atwood.”  
  
Ryan nodded politely to the cluster of people, filing away their names as they introduced themselves. He shook their hands and tried to shake off his shock of having to actually do a meet and greet with a bunch of strangers.  
  
This wasn’t like any block party he’d ever been to before to get to know the neighbors.  
  
He was grateful for Alex by his side, making sure he didn’t forget how to speak while the people politely interrogated him. She’d squeeze his arm and remind him that he was expected to answer.  
  
“If you’ll excuse us, we’re being called over,” Alex said smoothly, steering him away from the small crowd that had gathered.  
  
“This is so fucking weird,” he whispered, grateful to see she was guiding him toward Sandy and Jimmy.  
  
“You owe me big time for this,” Alex replied.  
  
“Sorry about that,” Jimmy said. “Julie wanted you to have a big entrance.”  
  
“Just be glad she didn’t rent that smoke machine,” Sandy teased.  
  
“Oh god,” Alex gasped.  
  
Sandy laughed. “Get yourselves something to eat while it lasts, these Newpsies tend to overeat when the food is free.”  
  
“Good to know,” Ryan smiled. He took a deep breath.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Caleb leaned back in his chair and watched Ryan talking with his sisters.  
  
Kaitlyn was sitting docilely on his lap, calmer than Caleb had ever seen her. She was known for getting into fights and throwing tantrums but she seemed enthralled by whatever Ryan was telling her.  
  
Marissa was equally captivated, sitting in the chair beside him and smiling at the story he was telling.  
  
“You should see him with Seth,” Kirsten said, sitting down beside him.  
  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen those girls sit still,” Caleb replied. “Do you think he’s drugging them?”  
  
“He’s just talking to them. He’s a good listener and I’m glad to see him talking. Alex seems very nice,” Kirsten said, giving him a pointed look.  
  
“Oh, yes, well. She’s very nice,” Caleb said.  
  
“You could’ve mentioned that he was dating someone. Anything else you haven’t mentioned?” Kirsten asked.  
  
“He’s a teenage boy, I can’t expect him to sit around the house and look at spreadsheets with me all day,” Caleb replied. “You bought him a bike, Kiki, he has transportation now.”  
  
“Alex is 17,” Kirsten replied.  
  
“Maybe you should be taking this up with Ryan,” Caleb said. “He’s not getting into any trouble, and she makes him happy. I thought we were all on the same page about making Ryan get settled.”  
  
Kirsten sighed, straightening her shoulders. “You still could’ve told me.”  
  
“I told you he had made friends.”  
  
She glared at him but there was no real anger behind her eyes.  
  
“He’s a good kid, Kirsten,” Caleb said quietly.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan ducked outside while Alex was in the kitchen with Hailey and lit a forbidden cigarette in the secret corner of the patio.  
  
He heard the footsteps approaching and wondered if someone had seen him sneak out.  
  
“Hey, dude.”  
  
He glanced over at Zach in surprise. “Hey. Your parents drag you to this thing?”  
  
“Sort of. They have parties like this every couple of weeks, it’s kind of required.”  
  
“You’re not serious,” Ryan replied.  
  
Zach laughed. “Yeah, I am. It’s really hard to get used to. My parents just moved back, they wanted me to go to Harbor like they did, and to get the hang of all this…Newport stuff.”  
  
“You don’t seem like ‘the new kid’,” Ryan replied.  
  
“I’m old news now. Luckily the kids’ attention spans around here are pretty short,” Zach replied. “A lot of the guys can be jackasses until you get to know them, but it’s not that bad.”  
  
Zach seemed genuine and Ryan decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. For the moment. “I don’t play basketball,” Ryan said finally.  
  
“Oh. That’s cool. Well, the only other hobby I really have is comics and you don’t seem like the graphic novel type,” Zach replied.  
  
“I’m not, but my new little brother is apeshit over them. Maybe you could give me some pointers sometime,” Ryan suggested. It would be nice to have a friend to help him fend off the kids once he started school.  
  
“That would be really cool,” Zach said.  
  
“I better get back inside before they realize I’m gone,” Ryan said. “But give me a call sometime.”  
  
Zach walked with him back inside and Ryan tried not to think about how he was going to handle going to these parties on a regular basis.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
  
  
  
Ryan kept busy after the party. His tutor started coming over for several hours a day, giving him assignments and grading his papers. He didn’t mind and it was kind of nice to have something to do.  
  
He saw Alex a lot more, spending time at the Bait Shop and down on the pier after his tutoring sessions. Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about Alex’s new friendship with Hailey, but it definitely had it’s advantages.  
  
Caleb had started questioning him more about where he was going, by Kirsten’s request, he was sure, but they had only placed loose restrictions on him and if he was with Hailey, they didn’t even give him a curfew. Otherwise, he had to be home by midnight or call to say he was going to be late. They didn’t like him riding his bike home at night and the fact that they were giving him rules because they were worried about his safety was a big change and he was too flattered to really argue.  
  
It was strange to have Alex drop him off at Kirsten and Sandy’s and go off with Hailey while he took his bag inside. But he liked that they got along so well.  
  
Rosa welcomed him in, taking his bag and walking him to the guest room, or his room as it seemed to be, and she explained that the Cohens were gone to pick up Seth from the hospital.  
  
He’d spent an afternoon with Zach and been inundated with comic book lore and loaned a couple of ‘rarities’ from Zach’s collection to share with Seth.  
  
The last few times he’d seen Seth, he’s been out of bed and walking a little on his own, but he got tired really easy and Ryan knew he had a long way to go before he’d be able to be as active as a kid his age should be.  
  
It was going to be his first overnight stay at the Cohens, but he wasn’t as nervous as he thought he’d be.  
  
He was actually looking forward it a little.  
  
He sat with Rosa in the den, listening to her talk about her grandchildren until Sandy and Kirsten walked in with Seth.  
  
“Ryan!” he grinned, his eyes bright under the bill of his baseball cap.  
  
“Hey, man. Thought I’d come to welcome you home, see? I even warmed the couch up for you,” Ryan said, getting up and patting the sofa dramatically, rewarded with a laugh from the kid.  
  
“Go sit down, son, while we get the rest of the things from the car,” Sandy said, winking at Ryan.  
  
Seth sat down on the couch and Rosa immediately went to get him juice and more pillows after embracing him warmly.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
“I’m going to stay here a couple of days, help you get settled. Try out the mattress and your pool,” Ryan said. “Is that okay with you?”  
  
“That’s awesome. Just a few days?”  
  
“Yeah. For now. Let’s just see how it goes, all right?” Ryan replied.  
  
“Okay. I mean, I know what Mom did was wrong, giving you away, but she’s really a great mom,” Seth said quietly.  
  
”I’m not arguing. It’s really nice of you to share,” Ryan said. He reached over and got the box he’d brought Zach’s comics in. “A friend of mine loaned me some books that he said you might like. But we have to give them back and he said we can’t bend the pages, or eat food while we’re reading,” Ryan said.  
  
“Oh god, you are the coolest brother ever – and I never bend pages…these are like gold, where did you get them?” Seth asked, taking the plastic bound comics carefully, his eyes wide.  
  
“A friend, Zach. You can meet him one day. He likes comics, too, and he gave me some lessons, but it’ll take me a while to catch up to you,” Ryan said.  
  
Seth grinned. “Thanks. I can’t wait to read.”  
  
Ryan saw that he was shivering and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, draping it around Seth’s shoulders.  
  
“I’m so glad to be home, it feels like years. My couch and my blankets and my TV, oh how I’ve missed my TV,” Seth said, tucking the blanket around him.  
  
“I bet they’ve missed you too,” Ryan laughed.  
  
\------ ------ ------  
  
“Have you seen the kid?” Hailey yelled over the band’s second encore to the bartender.  
  
The woman gave her a hesitant look and Hailey knew immediately that he was somewhere getting funky with Alex.  
  
The kid had a libido like a teenage boy and it was starting to piss her off.  
  
But it amused her more. She knew her sister had no idea how ‘proficient’ her son was in the bedroom but one of perks of being a friend of Alex’s was that she was privy to certain details about her nephew that the rest of the family wasn’t.  
  
She knew that Alex had been with four guys before Ryan and he’d been with an unmentionable number of girls before her, enough that he wouldn’t tell her. And she knew that he was adamant about using a condom and that he wouldn’t sleep with her if she had alcohol on her breath unless he had been drinking, too, which was rare.  
  
Hailey had a lot of respect for the kid. He’d spent several days with Seth before coming back to Caleb’s and she’d never seen her younger nephew as happy as when he was with his new brother. Seth took a lot of patience, but Ryan had a way with him that nobody else seemed to have and he was improving steadily with his improved spirits.  
  
She pulled out her phone and dialed his cell phone. Another thing she knew about him was that he never turned it off, abiding to Caleb’s request for him to be ‘always reachable’.  
  
It took several rings, but he finally answered and she could tell he wasn’t in the main part of the bar because she didn’t hear the applause from his end.  
  
“Almost time to go, zip up and get your ass out here,” she said, earning a smile from the bartender.  
  
“Five minutes…I mean, give me a few minutes…”  
  
The dial tone made her laugh out loud since he was obviously distracted.  
  
It was about ten minutes later when he finally appeared by her side, Alex following several minutes later, with blushing cheeks and apologies to the bartender.  
  
“Sorry, didn’t mean to be gone so long,” Ryan said sitting down and swiping her bottle of water for a swallow.  
  
“You better not backwash,” Hailey warned, taking advantage of his proximity to pull his shirt down to get a better view of the quarter sized hickies trailing below his shoulder to his neck.  
  
He shrugged her off, pulling his shirt up.  
  
“Better not let your mother see those,” she laughed.  
  
“We have got to find you a date so you’ll be distracted from my sex life,” Ryan muttered, swatting at her when she tried to get her water back.  
  
“You’re lucky you get a sex life at fifteen,” Hailey warned. “Now, let’s get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”  
  
\------ ------ ------  
  
Jimmy had been watching Ryan spend time with Kirsten and Seth, with Sandy, and with Hailey and even his daughters, but he wanted some time to get to know Ryan for himself.  
  
He’d given up his season basketball tickets and Ryan didn’t seem like the golfing type.  
  
The only other hobby he could think of was sailing, and he still had his boat in the harbor that he rarely got to take out with the responsibilities of work and family keeping him from sailing.  
  
He was pleased when Ryan agreed to spend the day with him. He was even more pleased when he found out that Ryan had spent the afternoon before their trip researching sailing on the internet with his tutor, who was apparently an avid sailor and friendly enough with Ryan to get the information out of him.  
  
Ryan seemed 100% different than when Jimmy had first met him. He made jokes, and joined into conversations without probing.  
  
And Jimmy loved him. A lot.  
  
He hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted a son. He loved his daughters, but there was only so much he had in common with them. Ryan was different.  
  
They both liked jalapenos and Fritos were their chip of choice. Ryan made the same sound when he was drinking a glass of water, a muted ‘gulp’ in the back of his throat that Jimmy had done since a child.  
  
Ryan was his son.  
  
“Hey,” Ryan said, stepping on his cigarette and turning away as he exhaled. He didn’t smoke in front of them as much anymore, but they hadn’t found a way to convince him to stop that they could enforce. When they confiscated his cigarettes, he just bought more, or bummed them. It was a habit they were willing to put up with, for his settling period. Julie had set the date for 2 months that they would really lay down the law.  
  
“Hey. You ready?” Jimmy asked, standing on the wooden dock.  
  
Ryan shuffled. “Um, I probably should have mentioned that I’ve never been on a boat before.”  
  
“That’s okay, we’ll take it easy. If you get seasick, we can come back in. You don’t even have to do anything at first, it’s a one man job, but the boat’s big enough for several people,” Jimmy said, reassuring him.  
  
Ryan watched him intently as he untied the boat from the dock and started the small motor to get the boat from the marina and into the open bay that fed into the ocean.  
  
After a few minutes of floating, Ryan started to ask him methodical questions about the names of the boat equipment and sails, having done his research well.  
  
But Jimmy made sure that it wasn’t purely a ‘teaching’ trip, and around noon he dropped anchor and they sat down on the bow of the boat on towels and ate sandwiches and watched the jet skiers and windsurfers skating across the water.  
  
“I never really thought places like this existed. That people like you and the Cohens existed,” Ryan said suddenly.  
  
“I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with the amount of culture shock you must be having,” Jimmy said.  
  
“Like not having to work? Or how everyone’s pretty and always dressed up? I mean, I haven’t even been in a fight yet, it’s like, the longest I’ve gone without getting my ass kicked…ever,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“Let’s keep it that way, please!” Jimmy laughed. “I, for one, love having you here. I want you to stop thinking of this as some kind of dream, and realize that this is your life now.”  
  
Ryan chewed a bite of sandwich, but his eyes were dark with thought.  
  
“In other words, I want you to take me out on your boat one day. Maybe once you get more comfortable , we can take a trip out to sea for a few days. There’s nothing like sleeping on the water,” Jimmy said.  
  
“Cool. But you’ll have to let me drive some,” Ryan said, hiding a smile.  
  
“In time, kid,” Jimmy smiled.  
  
\------ ------ ------  
  
Caleb glanced away from the blueprints on his desk long enough to make sure he wasn’t knocking over his coffee as he reached for the ringing phone.  
  
“Mr. Nichol? It’s George, from Chino.”  
  
“George, of course, how are you doing?”  
  
“Fine, fine, but I do have some news I wanted to pass along to you.”  
  
“I’m listening,” Caleb said, focusing all his attention on the man’s voice.  
  
“Word on the street is that Ryan’s mother died this morning. Her boyfriend, AJ, he’s on some kind of rampage. They say he’s on some pretty serious drugs. Took out a couple of cops in Chino, so he’s on the move because Dawn, she died in Corona.”  
  
“Oh god. Ryan’s not going to like this.”  
  
“AJ’s not exactly a nice guy, Mr. Nichol. Just…keep your eyes open. He used to…he used to beat on Ryan and Dawn pretty bad and I wouldn’t put it past him to show up there just for shits and giggles,” George said.  
  
“Thank you for the information, I’ll keep you informed and…”  
  
“I’ll let you know if I hear anything else. The cops will probably be contacting you soon to tell you about Dawn,” he added.  
  
Caleb sighed, hanging up the phone.  
  
He needed to tell Ryan in person. He put in a call to Jimmy and Hailey on his way to the garage.  
  
And he needed to find out how dangerous this AJ person was. Ryan had opened up a lot, but he was still tight-lipped about the details of his time with his adoptive family.  
  
\-------------  
  
  
  
Alex noticed immediately that the guard at the gate didn’t greet her. He was an older man and always gave her a whistle or a hello when she came to see Ryan, but today, the office was empty.  
  
She stopped the car and got out, wondering if he was on a break or if he’d taken the day off, but when she peeked through the window, she smelled…blood. Something was wrong.  
  
“Lenny?” she called tentatively, leaning all the way in the window to get a better look.  
  
There was a smear of blood on the wall behind the desk. Shit.  
  
She picked up the phone that was within her reach on the desk and dialed Hailey. She’d know who to call.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hailey, its Alex, something’s up with the guard by your gate, Lenny…”  
  
“The perv? Is he giving you shit again?”  
  
“No, he’s not here and there’s blood on the wall, do I call the police or is there local security?”  
  
Hailey was quiet for a long moment. “I’ll find out, I’ll call the security people, is everything else all right?”  
  
“I haven’t been to the house yet, I was just coming over to see Ryan, he called and said his tutor was gone for the day,” Alex replied.  
  
“Stay there and wait for the cops, I’m on my way home…”  
  
“Hailey – you don’t have to come home…”  
  
“Dad called me, I was on my way home anyway. Something’s got him spooked and I don’t like this, stay put, okay?”  
  
Alex hung up the phone and called 911. As soon as she finished giving the dispatcher directions, a security car pulled up beside her car. The men gave her a nod before unlocking the door and disappearing into the office.  
  
“Did you call 911?” one of them asked her.  
  
“Just hung up, they’re sending someone…” Alex replied. “What’s going on?”  
  
“Lenny’s…hurt,” the man said. “He needs an ambulance, we’re going to shut down the gate until we find out what happened.”  
  
“I’m here to see my boyfriend, can I go check on him?” Alex asked. She jumped when she felt the hand on her shoulder and was surprised to recognize Jimmy beside her.  
  
“Her boyfriend’s my son, I’ll take her up, can you watch her car?” Jimmy asked.  
  
The man nodded but radioed something into his walkie-talkie and walked out of the office. “I’m coming with you, just to make sure the place is secure. We don’t know what we’re dealing with yet.”  
  
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, ignoring the guard as they got into the security car and started toward Caleb’s mansion.  
  
“Caleb got a call from George, one of Ryan’s friends from Chino. Said something bad had happened to his mom and that we should keep our eyes open. Caleb didn’t give me many details, just asked me to stop in and check on him,” Jimmy said, but Alex could see that he was worried.  
  
“What happened to his mom? Does he know? I just talked to him, like, 20 minutes ago,” Alex replied.  
  
“I don’t think so, Caleb was going to tell him when he got home, he didn’t give me details, Alex, I’m sorry,” Jimmy said.  
  
“Something’s happened here,” the guard said, radioing into his walkie-talkie as he pulled to a stop in front of Caleb’s. The door was wide open and they could see the broken glass glinting in the sunlight in the foyer.  
  
“Stay here,” Jimmy told her but Alex ignored him, following him and the guard out of the car.  
  
Alex didn’t recognize the sound at first. It sounded like slapping almost, but there was a jingle after every smack.  
  
“What the hell is that?” Jimmy whispered.  
  
Alex pushed past the tiptoeing security guard, ignoring Jimmy’s hissed warning. She wasn’t going to tiptoe anywhere until she found Ryan.  
  
“Get the hell away from him!” Jimmy’s voice startled her and she turned back to see Jimmy moving into the den. The guard glanced at her, motioning for her to stay back.  
  
“Who’s going to make me? You? Skinny little rich guy like you, no wonder the boy’s so pathetic, at least when he lived with us he made a little cash, took care of his responsibilities,” a gruff voice replied.  
  
Alex thought she was going to pass out when she saw the huge man standing over Ryan. Ryan wasn’t moving. He wasn’t…doing anything. And she knew Ryan wasn’t one to just sit back and take a beating, especially one like this.  
  
Ryan was on his side, his arm clutched against his chest. Blood was pooled around his body and his shirt was in shreds on the floor.  
  
“Step away from the boy,” the guard said, pulling his gun and trying to act like he knew what he was doing.  
  
Alex was frozen. The man was holding a belt and she realized with horror what the sound had been.  
  
“You just let me finish talking to the kid and I’ll be out of your way, might even let you have the little punk, but not until he’s learned his lesson,” the man growled. He pulled his arm back and started to swing the belt again, buckle first and Jimmy yelled and she sucked in a breath to scream – but it was too late.  
  
The belt snapped across his bare, bleeding back and the buckle sliced another gash in his flesh. Ryan didn’t react, she couldn’t even see if he was breathing.  
  
More guards and cops stormed into the house and Alex was pushed to the side, her view blocked for a moment. She couldn’t breathe…  
  
When she could see again, somehow, the man had looped the belt around Ryan’s neck. Oh god, he couldn’t breathe either…  
  
\------------  
  
Ryan hurt. He hurt all over. His arm, his back, his head. And right now - his neck. He felt like he was choking – there was something around his neck - and when he tried to bring his hands up to get it off, he remembered. AJ.  
  
AJ tearing up Caleb’s house. Punching him until he fell, kicking him until he broke, and now this.  
  
He was choking.  
  
He couldn’t breathe.  
  
Damn this – he wasn’t going out like this – let the bastard try to choke him - Ryan wasn’t going out that easy.  
  
He started kicking and managed to connect with AJ’s leg and the belt loosened enough for him to get a breath.  
  
“Stop it, you little prick…” AJ snapped and Ryan twisted, feeling the leather burn into his neck as he managed to pull the belt from AJ’s hand, even if it meant that it tightened the noose around his throat.  
  
He didn’t expect the gunshot, he wasn’t even aware of all the people in the room until AJ staggered backwards and fell against the coffeetable.  
  
Jimmy was suddenly in his vision, his face drawn with panic as he loosened the belt around his neck. “Hey, kid, you’re all right, it’s all over now…”  
  
“Is he dead?” Ryan gasped, trying to blink the black spots out of his vision as Jimmy helped him sit up. He tried to take deep breaths, but he couldn’t slow down, he hurt…  
  
Jimmy brushed his hand across his face, clearing the blood that was getting in his eye from a cut apparently on his face. One side of his face was numb and swollen and he couldn’t feel where the blood was coming from.  
  
His arm hurt. He hurt all over. But mostly…his arm…  
  
“Don’t worry about anything right now, just sit still and let the paramedics look at you, can you tell me where it hurts the most?” Jimmy asked, his voice calmer, but the panic still flashing in his eyes.  
  
He kept his arm against his chest as the medics surrounded them and started searching him for injuries. He wanted to tell Jimmy how much his arm hurt, but he was trying to catch his breath, trying to forget about his arm and just breathe. Finally, one of them crouched in front of him and tried to take his wrist.  
  
“Come on, Ryan, let him see,” Jimmy coaxed softly.  
  
Ryan wasn’t sure what had happened and how they’d gotten here so fast, but he was grateful. AJ was going to kill him, he’d known it as soon as he’d taken the first punch. He moved his arm away from his chest and let the medic see where the bone was jutting through his skin.  
  
The pain was worse than anything he’d ever felt and he turned his face into Jimmy’s shoulder without thinking, just not wanting to see his mangled, bleeding, broken arm anymore.  
  
“He fucked up Caleb’s house…he’s going to be so mad…” Ryan murmured, biting down on his lower lip as he realized how bad this really was. The pain from the medic’s examination of his arm was rushing through him in waves. The black spots were worse.  
  
“Caleb just wants you to be okay, all this stuff is replaceable, you aren’t,” Jimmy said gently, holding him against him while the medics wrapped and stabilized his arm. “Don’t worry about any of that…”  
  
“He said my mother’s dead, he said he killed her…” Ryan whispered. He’d never really had anyone other than Trey comfort him or try to take care of him when he was hurt but Jimmy was really worried and was trying to help him. He couldn’t deny that he needed some help right now.  
  
He wondered if this was what having a dad was like. He tried not to cry out as they continued to work on his arm to quell the bleeding.  
  
“Can’t you give him something, he’s in pain,” Jimmy asked the paramedic, his voice strained.  
  
“Not until we get him to the hospital, let’s get him on a stretcher and to the ER,” the medic replied.  
  
“Ambulance? Do I have…” Ryan whispered, but he didn’t seem to be processing what he was actually asking.  
  
“Yes, you are going in an ambulance where they can make sure you’re all right, I’m going with you, don’t worry about anything, okay?” Jimmy urged.  
  
Ryan nodded finally, the paramedics helping him onto the stretcher and raising it up so they could roll it from the room. Jimmy followed him every step of the way and kept him from seeing AJ or the blood or mess he’d caused. Jimmy was a really nice guy.  
  
\----------  
  
Trey adjusted his jumpsuit as the guard walked him into the warden’s office. He was surprised to see Sandy Cohen sitting across from the warden’s desk. Shit.  
  
“Mr. Cohen, is Ryan okay?” he asked immediately.  
  
“Have a seat, Trey,” the warden said. He was an older man with a full head of striking white hair.  
  
He knew better than to argue with the boss and sat down quickly, the guard closing the door as he left.  
  
“Ryan was hurt earlier today, and I’ve asked the warden to give you a temporary furlough so you can see him. I think it would really help if you could come…” Sandy said, glancing at the warden.  
  
“I guess that’s up to the warden,” Trey said, wanting to ask Mr. Cohen so much more but deferring to the warden.  
  
“You’ve been behaving yourself, staying out of trouble and the guards all say you’re more of a peacekeeper than a troublemaker. It’s a one time thing, and you don’t go anywhere without Mr. Cohen. He’s responsible for you, you take off, you’re fucking him as well as yourself.”  
  
“Fine, thank you,” Trey said. He turned his attention back to Sandy. “What happened?”  
  
“AJ came for him…your mother, she’s been killed,” Sandy added.  
  
“I don’t care about her, just Ryan…is he okay?” Trey shook off his words about Dawn – Ryan was hurt and while Dawn had never done shit for him, Ryan was his little brother, his partner. He was important. He couldn’t think about Dawn.  
  
“He’s getting checked out at the hospital, but he should be discharged by the time we get on the road,” Sandy said. “He doesn’t know you’re coming, no one does, but I think…I think he’s going to need to see you in person, you can probably do a lot more for him than we can right now.”  
  
“Thank you,” Trey said. He turned back to the warden. “What do I have to do?”  
  
Trey was barely thinking as the guard returned and took him to an office and gave him clothes to wear. He could see the warden and some other people in the other room talking to Sandy when he was walked past the office on the way to outtake.  
  
He was in Sandy’s BMW within the hour and he didn’t even bother to appreciate his first moments of freedom in over two months, turning to the older man as soon as they were on the freeway. “Tell me everything. About Mom, AJ - and how the fuck he found Ryan.”  
  
“No one told us how dangerous AJ was, and as far as we knew, they were out of Chino, unreachable. Social services had been trying to locate them for weeks, but…Dawn was found dead early this morning. She was badly beaten, but she died of a methamphetamine overdose – a heart attack on paper. And AJ is a suspect in several felonies, including attempted murder and vehicular homicide – all from today.”  
  
“Dammit...” Trey hissed.  
  
“We don’t know how AJ found Ryan, but he attacked the security guard at the gate to Caleb’s house and he’s in critical condition. Ryan was home alone, and AJ trashed the house and hurt him. Broke his arm.”  
  
“Just his arm?” Trey asked, studying Sandy’s face.  
  
“He was…beating him with a belt when Jimmy, his father, and the police got there. He had the belt around his neck…”  
  
“That fucker…did they get him?”  
  
“He’s dead. The cops took him out. Ryan woke up when the belt was around his neck and got away from him, and they took the shot,” Sandy said coldly.  
  
“Good,” Trey said, rubbing his eyes. “And Ry, he’s…he’s all right?”  
  
“I haven’t seen him. I was trying to think of what I could do, how I could help him the most, and I thought…I thought of you. Jimmy and Kirsten are with him, his aunt Hailey and his girlfriend, they’re all at the hospital.”  
  
“Who’s with your kid?” Trey asked after a moment to remember the connections of his little brother’s new family. He was oddly relieved that Ryan had so many people looking out for him.  
  
“Jimmy’s wife and her daughters, Ryan’s sisters. Rosa, the housekeeper’s taking care of the home front for us,” Sandy replied.  
  
“I…thank you, Sandy…for doing this…” Trey said, honest.  
  
“I can’t think of anyone who could help him more than you right now…he was beating him with a belt, Trey…and we know it wasn’t the first time because of his scars…we can’t touch that topic with him and…we need him to trust us,” Sandy said, his fingers clenched tightly around the steering wheel.  
  
“I need to see him first…but from what I’ve heard about your family, he already trusts you, he really cares about you guys, and his brothers and sisters. He talks about you all the time. He says his aunt is really hot,” Trey added.  
  
Sandy smiled, relaxing slightly. “And you’re exactly the type of guy she goes for, so you’ll be staying far away from her.”  
  
“How’d you get me out?” Trey asked.  
  
“Caleb, Ryan’s grandfather knows a lot of people. And I know the warden from way back when he didn’t have gray hair, let alone white,” Sandy said. “I wasn’t planning on pulling strings so soon for you, but this is a unique circumstance. You’ve done really well, Trey, and I promise that if you keep it up, I’ll do everything I can to get you early release…or at least moved to a low security facility closer to Newport,” he added quietly.  
  
“You’ve already done a lot taking me to see Ryan today. But I believe you a little more now,” he said.  
  
\----------  



	3. Chapter 3

Jimmy hadn’t left Ryan’s side, not budging when they said they needed to prep him for surgery, pacing outside the door during the repair of his bones and ignoring Ryan’s attempts to tell him he was fine before and after the procedure.  
  
The kid looked like hell. Jimmy had never seen a person take a beating as bad as this, definitely not a child.  
  
Jimmy couldn’t imagine him living with that evil man. He wished he could’ve killed him himself.  
  
Kirsten was hysterical and had cried and apologized and nearly passed out when she’d seen Ryan’s injuries and Ryan, blissfully drugged, had turned to Jimmy for help calming her down.  
  
Now, she was sitting on the edge of Ryan’s hospital bed, holding his intact hand and talking to him soothingly.  
  
Jimmy was relieved to see Ryan’s blue eyes focused and lucid. He’d been slurring his words and confused about where he was after the surgery to reset his arm and insert screws to assist with the healing. He was in a cast past the elbow and he knew it was going to bother Ryan for way too long. The bruises and swelling would fade, but the cast would stay a while and he’d taken stitches in his face, back and torso that would scar if not taken care of.  
  
“And you’re sure Caleb’s not mad about the house?” Ryan asked, hoarse. His neck was bruised and swollen and he’d admitted that it hurt to talk.  
  
“Dad is just worried about you, he doesn’t care about the house, it could be burning down right now and he’d still be here waiting to see you. He’s more upset that…that AJ was able to get to you.”  
  
“He would’ve found a way…he was jacked up on meth, or something, he was…crazy,” Ryan said, shifting in bed uncomfortably and looking over at Jimmy.  
  
“What do you need?” Jimmy asked immediately, seeing the ‘need’ in his eyes.  
  
Kirsten stood up, turning to Jimmy, her hands still shaking. “I’ll be right outside, you need to rest,” she said.  
  
Ryan settled down once she was gone, fumbling with the covers. “I’m sorry. I just…can’t take her right now…I know she’s worried and she’s…really great, but…it’s too much right now,” he whispered.  
  
“It’s okay…but I’m going to stick around a little longer, okay?”  
  
Ryan nodded. “It’s cool. You’re not crying and stuff, much easier for me to deal with,” he added.  
  
Jimmy wanted to cry, but he couldn’t in front of Ryan. He had to be strong and it had worked for him since Ryan was letting him be near him.  
  
“I do need to talk to you about something. Since the doctors are willing to discharge you…will you come home with me tonight?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Marissa and Kaitlyn, they…they don’t need to see me like this. Can’t I go home?” Ryan hesitated. “I mean, back to Caleb’s?”  
  
“Are you sure that you want to go back there? I don’t know if they’ve even had a chance to clean up yet,” Jimmy replied.  
  
“I can help clean up…” Ryan started.  
  
“Absolutely not,” Jimmy replied. “Sandy already told Caleb he wants you to come with him, but I was trying to get to you first.”  
  
“Seth doesn’t need to see me like this either,” Ryan protested. “He just got home, they have enough to do taking care of him…I don’t get in the way at Caleb’s…”  
  
The door opened and Caleb stepped in. “Jesus Christ.”  
  
“No, it’s just me,” Ryan muttered.  
  
Caleb quickly replaced his expression of horror but his eyes were flashing worriedly. Jimmy was glad that Caleb and Ryan had bonded so well, but it still stung that Ryan wanted to go back there instead of coming home with him in fear of upsetting his sisters.  
  
Caleb walked over and put his palm against the unbruised side of Ryan’s face, gently stroking his cheek as he cataloged the kid’s injuries with his eyes.  
  
“I’m okay. I swear,” Ryan murmured.  
  
“Kiki says you’re worried about the house. Rosa’s already cleaned up, she’s worried sick. She wants me to buy you a Rottweiler or a bodyguard,” Caleb said quietly.  
  
“Can I…can I still stay with you?” Ryan asked.  
  
“As long as you want. You don’t…do you want to come back tonight? Your room’s untouched, but I know Kirsten wants to keep you close to her, too,” Caleb replied, clearly torn.  
  
“Seth needs her more than I do. I’m fine…I’ll be fine in a few days, anyway…she doesn’t need to worry…” Ryan said.  
  
“If you’re sure…” Caleb said finally. Jimmy wondered if Caleb was even capable of saying ‘no’ to Ryan at this point in their relationship.  
  
“I’m sure…if you don’t mind…”  
  
“Hush. You know I don’t mind…but I can’t promise that Kirsten won’t hover over you at my house anyway,” Caleb said.  
  
“When can I leave?” Ryan asked, looking at Jimmy. They’d all wanted him to stay overnight, but Ryan had insisted that if there was any way they could discharge him, that he wanted to go. The doctors had finally decided that considering his circumstances, he should be where he was most comfortable.  
  
“They’re working on your discharge papers now, but you’re coming back tomorrow for more tests, so don’t expect to get out of it, all right?” Caleb asked.  
  
“No…thank you, I don’t want to stay here overnight,” Ryan replied. “I’d rather…sleep in my own bed.”  
  
Caleb gave Jimmy a nod. “I’ll be outside, the nurse will bring a wheelchair when you’re ready to go.”  
  
“Kirsten brought some clothes for you,” Jimmy said once Caleb was gone.  
  
“That’s awesome,” Ryan replied, exhaustion laced in his voice. He pushed his legs over the edge and Jimmy immediately pushed the loose drawstring pants over his feet, letting Ryan take them from the knees and stand up, pulling them on under his gown.  
  
“Sit back down and let me put these socks on you,” Jimmy said, crouching down and sliding the socks over Ryan’s bare feet.  
  
“God, I feel like an invalid, I’m sorry,” Ryan sighed.  
  
Jimmy stood up. “Stop apologizing. I’m your father, and I should have dressed you hundreds of times before today. You’re getting off lucky,” he added, earning a smile from his son.  
  
“Guess so,” Ryan sighed, fumbling with the string on the gown until Jimmy moved behind him and untied the knot, folding the gown down. He winced at the bandages on his welted back and side. Stitches were visible in places where they’d patched the gashes from the buckle that wouldn’t heal on their own.  
  
“Is it bad?” Ryan whispered when Jimmy realized he’d been frozen. “I mean, I already had scars, but…”  
  
“You look bad all over right now, kid, ask me again in a few days. And a plastic surgeon is coming tomorrow to take a look, we’re going to do whatever we can to reduce the chance of scarring,” Jimmy said quietly.  
  
“Oh. They can do that? Maybe I should’ve gone to the doctor the other times,” he muttered.  
  
“Let’s get you dressed and home to bed, okay?” Jimmy said, hiding his shudder at the thought of the ‘other times’.  
  
“I like that plan a lot,” Ryan whispered.  
  
\----------  
  
Hailey let out a sigh of relief when Jimmy and the nurse walked out with Ryan in front of them, fidgeting in the wheelchair.  
  
Alex stood up and rushed over. Ryan had spotted her immediately and reached out to embrace her.  
  
“Oh my god, you ignorant fucker, you shared the hell out of me, don’t ever do that again or I will kick your ass myself…” Alex whispered, rapid fire as she kissed his unbruised skin and finally his mouth in a desperate motion.  
  
Ryan cupped the back of her head with his good hand and mumbled something in her ear that made her blush and start to cry behind her smile.  
  
“My turn,” Hailey said, steadying Alex with a hand on her back. She was a nice girl and she really cared about Ryan. Hailey really liked her.  
  
She focused on Ryan, leaning forward and kissing his forehead.  
  
“Oh god, I know I’m messed up if you’re being all cuddly,” Ryan said, ducking his head. But he’d visibly relaxed and she was relieved that he felt good enough to joke with her right now. He was a tough kid.  
  
“Shut up and let us hover, Ryan,” Hailey smiled. “You really did scare us…I’m so glad you’re okay, more or less.”  
  
“Are you going to drive me around since I have to park my bike for a while?” Ryan asked, trying to lighten the mood despite his visible exhaustion.  
  
“Anywhere you let me,” Hailey promised.  
  
“Mr. Nichol is bringing the car around, we should go,” the nurse said.  
  
“Are you coming over?” Ryan asked Alex quietly.  
  
“I’ll stay until the old man kicks me out,” Alex replied, kissing him again before the nurse wheeled him off.  
  
“Come on, I’ll take you to your car,” Hailey offered, walking with Alex outside.  
  
“He looked better…much better than he did at the house…he was bleeding and so…hurt,” Alex whispered once they were in the car.  
  
“He’s really bruised.”  
  
“His back, Hailey, it was shredded…” Alex said.  
  
“He’s all right. We’re going to take good care of him…did you know who the guy was?” Hailey asked her.  
  
“No, like, he’d told me that his mom’s boyfriend was an asshole, but…that was it, you know? He didn’t say he was ‘as big as a tank’ or ‘sadistically violent’,” Alex replied. “Did you know?”  
  
“Not more than you just said. We would have set the alarms on the house, or hired more security if we’d known…as much as I love him, I wish he’d given us a little more detail about…”  
  
“About his life before here, I know what you mean. It’s like begging for scraps, the one person he’ll talk about is Trey,” Alex replied.  
  
“He loves his brother. I hope Sandy called him,” Hailey said.  
  
“You think Caleb will let me stay with him tonight?” Alex asked after a long moment.  
  
“Depends on Ryan, probably. I think the house is going to be pretty restless tonight and you’re a part of Ryan’s family in a way and nobody’s going to ask you to leave.”  
  
\----------  
  
Caleb helped Ryan out of the car despite Ryan’s insistence that he was fine. The kid was swaying on his feet and Caleb wasn’t sure where to offer support without hurting him. He saw Sandford’s car but it was empty. Kirsten had gone home to check on Seth and was coming over shortly.  
  
Finally, Jimmy got to his side of the car and Ryan reached out and grabbed onto his arm for support into the house.  
  
He was grateful that Rosa and her staff had been able to do such a thorough job cleaning the foyer. It was bare of furniture and decoration, but no blood or glass was visible.  
  
“It’s not as bad as I thought,” Ryan said, not hesitating as he looked into the room where he was beaten.  
  
“Straight to bed, kiddo,” Jimmy said, urging him toward the stairs.  
  
“Ryan,” a new voice said gruffly and Caleb saw Ryan’s face flash with surprise. He dropped his grip on Jimmy and stepped forward, a thin young man on the stairs hurrying down to his side.  
  
“Trey, what are you doing here?” Ryan asked, his eyes alive.  
  
So this was the infamous big brother.  
  
“Sandy got me a furlough, so I could see you for a little while, make sure you’re still kicking…where’s your room?” Trey asked, automatically putting Ryan’s uncasted arm over his shoulder and wrapping his arm around Ryan’s lower waist.  
  
Jimmy was visibly surprised at seeing the comfortable, almost familiar way Ryan leaned on Trey, matching his steps up the stairs.  
  
“I’m sorry, it was my idea,” Sandy said when Caleb and Jimmy walked over.  
  
“Seems like a pretty good one,” Jimmy said after a beat.  
  
“Sandy?” Trey called from upstairs. Caleb followed him, Jimmy staying behind to call Julie. “Ryan needs some water, something to drink,” Trey said once they stepped into Ryan’s room.  
  
Caleb noticed that Trey had already gotten Ryan to lie down on the bed, on his stomach because of the wounds on his back. He visibly loved his brother.  
  
“I’ll get it. Anything else, kid?” Sandy asked.  
  
“No,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
Trey put the back of his hand against Ryan’s bruised neck. “Do you have any washcloths or rags that I can get cold to put on his neck? It’s really swollen,” Trey said quietly.  
  
“Its fine,” Ryan muttered. “You didn’t have to come.”  
  
Caleb went to the bathroom and saturated several washcloths in cold water before folding them and taking them back to Trey.  
  
Trey placed them on Ryan’s neck despite the kid’s initial shiver from the coolness. He turned to Caleb.  
  
“Caleb, this is my brother, Trey,” Ryan said, the undamaged side of his face lying against the pillow. He had dozed slightly in the car but Caleb hadn’t realized how hard he was fighting the exhaustion.  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Caleb said, pushing up the desk chair so Trey could sit down.  
  
“Thanks,” Trey said, sitting down and returning his rapt attention to Ryan. “You need to sleep, you’re all stoned.”  
  
“I want to talk to you, you don’t have much time…” Ryan said, sounding childish for one of the first times Caleb had ever witnessed.  
  
“I want to talk to you when you aren’t slurring, Ryan, sleep a couple of hours, I’ll still be here,” Trey replied.  
  
Sandy returned with several bottles of water and juices.  
  
“Let’s stick to water, the juice will make his stomach hurt if he has all those painkillers already on an empty stomach,” Trey said, taking it and opening it.  
  
Ryan took a couple of sips before frowning and pushing it away.  
  
“If you don’t drink, you have to sleep,” Trey said softly.  
  
Ryan sighed and his eyes seemed to close against his will to stay awake. Trey threaded his fingers through his hair for several moments before leaning back with a sigh.  
  
“He really messed him up…AJ used to just mess him up enough to slow him down, he never broke anything before,” Trey whispered.  
  
“Ryan said he was on meth, something that made him…meaner,” Caleb admitted.  
  
“I can’t believe he came all this way…Mom dying must’ve done something to him. I mean, he always hated us, but I thought he just wanted us out of the house, away from mom, I just didn’t think he’d track Ryan here,” Trey said. He glanced around. “Looks like you guys really have been taking good care of him.”  
  
“We were trying. He almost seemed like he was settling in,” Sandy sighed.  
  
“He’s a Timex. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. He’s the toughest kid I know, he’ll be back on his feet in no time if you play your cards right,” Trey said. “Can I have some time with him?”  
  
“Stay put, we’ll be right outside,” Sandy said.  
  
“I’m not leaving, Sandy. Not until you come to take me back to Chino,” Trey replied softly.  
  
\----------  
  
Alex went straight to Ryan’s room when she got to Caleb’s, bypassing the cluster of people in the den.  
  
She didn’t recognize the guy sitting with him.  
  
He looked over at her and smiled, speaking softly to Ryan who seemed to be only half awake.  
  
“Who are you?” Alex asked, walking in once Ryan gave her a weak wave.  
  
“This is my brother Trey. Sandy got him out a little while, he must’ve been more worried than I thought,” Ryan said quietly, his throat still obviously giving him pain.  
  
“Alex, it’s very nice to meet you. My brother said you were hot, but damn. You know he’s only 15,” Trey smirked. “You might want to move up to the more sophisticated model.”  
  
“Fuck off, Trey,” Ryan laughed, but Alex could see how much Ryan’s mood was improved from his brother’s presence.  
  
“How’re you feeling?”  
  
“Tired, mostly,” Ryan admitted.  
  
“It’s almost time for his medicine and I need to let Sandy known I haven’t taken off,” Trey said. He patted Ryan on the arm. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, give you a little girl time.”  
  
“Thanks,” Ryan said, watching him all the way to the hall and staring at the door when he closed it.  
  
“Your brother must’ve been really worried.”  
  
“Everyone’s overreacting. Sandy went and got him…I’d rather see him when I wasn’t all messed up…but I’m always glad to see him. And he says he would have worried more if he hadn’t been able to see for himself,” Ryan said, sitting up as she took Trey’s chair.  
  
“I…I was really worried about you. I saw that man, and he was…he was hurting you…” Alex started.  
  
“You were here? Oh god, because I called you…” Ryan realized.  
  
“What happened, Ryan?”  
  
“I called you after the tutor left,” he started slowly. “I was putting my books and stuff away and I heard something break downstairs and I knew no one was home so I went down to check it out. And it was AJ. He was…high on something, meth, I guess, and I…I was just off my game. I hadn’t had anybody try to kick my ass for a while so I was out of practice. He got me down and started kicking me…and I blacked out. Woke up…”  
  
“He was going to strangle you to death, Ryan…he was whipping you…” Alex said, taking his hand and holding it tightly.  
  
“I’m sorry that you had to see that…but it’s all over now, and I’ll be back to normal in a few days…not saying you can start dragging your nails down my back any time soon,” he said, flashing her a smile.  
  
“You’re such a prick,” she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him. She’d been really upset and even though it was sweet that he was teasing her, she knew he wasn’t okay. She didn’t know how anyone could be okay going through what he’d gone through. If his life in Chino had been anything like that, she really respected that he’d developed into such a great guy.  
  
She enjoyed his familiar kisses, hoping she wasn’t hurting his split lip, but the intimacy was something she needed right now.  
  
Rosa’s animated Spanish drifted through the door as she walked in with a tray, chattering to Trey before glaring at Alex.  
  
“Sorry,” Ryan said, flushing under Rosa’s scolding as Alex leaned back.  
  
Trey was chuckling, clearly speaking Spanish like his little brother and Alex realized that Trey had probably had a hand in teaching him. She was impressed.  
  
“You have to eat something, and everyone knows you’re awake now, so you’ll be getting some visitors soon,” Trey said.  
  
“You going to eat?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Let’s discuss the dynamics of this relationship again, I’m the big brother, and you do not need to worry about my eating habits. All right?” Trey said, sitting down on the bed with the tray so Alex didn’t have to get up from her seat.  
  
“I can come downstairs, I didn’t know you were going to make me eat,” Ryan sighed.  
  
Rosa immediately scolded him in Spanish, earning a smirk from Trey and something similar to a pout from Ryan. Ryan was like a whole different person around his brother.  
  
He was like a kid. Like a normal kid, like a normal teenager.  
  
One of the things she’d liked about Ryan was his maturity, until he admitted that he was just 15, she’d had no idea, pegging him at 18 or even older, but seeing him with Trey was like seeing a whole different person.  
  
She wondered how many more sides of him she’d get to see.  
  
“Let me put these behind you so you don’t hurt your back,” Trey said, propping pillows behind Ryan.  
  
Alex was again struck with how easily he acquiesced to his brother, he rarely accepted help from the people she knew as his family. But after meeting AJ, she could see how it could be hard for him to adjust to kindness and love without strings.  
  
“Your mom seems nice,” Trey said, taking the tray from Rosa and sitting it over his lap.  
  
“Kirsten’s really nice. Is she still crying?” Ryan asked quietly.  
  
Trey gave Alex a sideways look. “If you want to keep on Ry’s good side, its best not to cry, tears make him antsy,” he confided.  
  
“Shut up, Trey,” Ryan muttered.  
  
“I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” Alex smiled, winking at Ryan to make him smile again.  
  
“Do you want something, honey?” Rosa asked her, squeezing her shoulder.  
  
“I’m fine, I’ll get something later,” she replied, not wanting to leave Ryan’s side.  
  
“You can eat, I’m not going anywhere,” Ryan said, looking at her. “I promise,” he started, waiting until Rosa had left before adding softly, “I really don’t want the first night you stay over to be when we can’t even do anything…”  
  
Trey snickered but covered it with a cough as Kirsten, Jimmy and Caleb entered.  
  
\----------  
  
Ryan watched Trey talking to Sandy in the hallway over Jimmy’s shoulder.  
  
“Hey, you all right?” Jimmy asked, noticing his distraction.  
  
“Yeah. Just hope Trey isn’t going to catch flak when he goes back,” Ryan replied quietly.  
  
“I’m really glad he’s here. You look better already from a little time with him,” Kirsten smiled.  
  
Ryan was relieved that they didn’t seem upset that his jailbird brother was here. He was really glad to see Trey and it meant a lot that Sandy had sensed that he’d need him now.  
  
He still couldn’t process that Dawn was dead. And that AJ really had wanted him dead. Wanted to hurt him. Drove over a hundred miles to get to him.  
  
He thought he’d moved past that part of his life, that AJ and Dawn were alive and away from him. But now they were both dead.  
  
Trey was familiar and he was so glad he was here, even if it was only for a short time.  
  
“Mr. Nichol, I’d like to stay with Ryan tonight, if that’s okay,” Alex said.  
  
Caleb seemed surprised and looked at Jimmy and Kirsten out of the corner of his eye. “That’s ultimately up to Ryan, but there’s a guest room across the hall if you want a bed to yourself…”  
  
Alex was looking at him and he took a swallow of water and squeezed her hand, hoping she would understand and give him space. He, kind of, wanted Trey to stay with him if he was going to be able to stay overnight. But Alex was his next choice.  
  
He turned to Kirsten. “Will you do me a favor?”  
  
“If I can,” she replied.  
  
“Will you go home and take care of Seth? Tell him why I’m not coming over for a few days? He just got home and he really should have you guys with him,” Ryan said.  
  
She sighed. “You should have me here, too.”  
  
“You can come back tomorrow, I’ve got lots of people making sure I don’t go anywhere,” Ryan said. “He’ll worry if nobody tells him anything.”  
  
“The kid’s got a point. I’ll go home, too, Ryan, to talk to the girls. I’ll be back in the morning,” Jimmy said.  
  
“Cool. I promise I’ll be fine,” Ryan said, looking at Kirsten. “And ask Seth to call me if he has any questions, but…”  
  
“We’ll leave out the heavy details, Ryan. It’s up to you what you decide to tell him happened to you,” Kirsten said softly. “And I’ll be back tomorrow, early.”  
  
“Thanks,” Ryan said. He leaned forward and gave her a one-armed hug, hoping it would help her feel better about leaving. Then Jimmy wanted a hug and murmured that he’d call Ryan later that night.  
  
Trey returned. “Can I have a few minutes with him?” he asked, looking between Alex and Caleb.  
  
“Be nice to each other,” Ryan said to Alex as she reluctantly left.  
  
“Are you going to be all right?” Trey asked, sitting down in the chair.  
  
“What do you think?” Ryan replied after a beat.  
  
“I think…that you’ve got a whole lot of people here that care about you. And for the first time in a long time…I believe that you’re safe,” Trey said.  
  
“You’ve got to go back?” Ryan asked quietly.  
  
“Yeah. But Sandy, he’s looking out for me. I think if we hang tight…things might work out okay for us both,” Trey said, moving the tray and removing the pillows from behind him and gently nudging him to lie on his side.  
  
“I…it means a lot that you came, man,” Ryan said.  
  
“I’m sorry that any of this happened. That I fucked up and got sent up, that you had to be alone with AJ and mom so long…that she’s dead…I’m sorry for all of this, Ry.”  
  
“What’s going to happen to Mom?”  
  
“She’s got family up in Tahoe, remember? They’ve got a family plot or something for her. You just hang tight here and once I get out, we’ll go up together,” Trey said. He tapped Ryan on the chin to make him look in his eyes. “Promise me you’ll wait. I want to go with you, okay?”  
  
“I promise,” Ryan said. He was kind of relieved. “Can I ride back with you?”  
  
“No, kid, I need you to stay here and get back on your feet. You don’t need to be in a car anymore tonight. You need to rest. I’ve got to go now, but I want you to call me tomorrow.”  
  
“I will,” Ryan said.  
  
“You let these people take care of you, you let them spoil you all they want,” Trey said, pulling him into a firm hug.  
  
Ryan returned it even though it hurt. It was Trey and hugs were rare.  
  
“You take care of yourself, too, Trey,” Ryan said. “You’re all I’ve got.”  
  
“No, kid, you’ve got it backwards, you’re all I’ve got,” Trey replied. He tapped his chin again before he stood up. “Get some rest and don’t stay up all night banging your hottie girlfriend. Wait a couple of days, all right, stud?”  
  
Ryan gave him the finger and Trey grinned, walking to the door. Sandy was waiting. “I’m ready.”  
  
Sandy gave Ryan a solemn look and wave before walking out of his vision down the hall with Trey.  
  
Caleb returned with Alex who was carrying more pillows. “All right, kid. Alex is going to stay with you, but I’m right downstairs and Hailey’s across the hall. We’ll be checking on you.”  
  
“Thanks, Caleb,” Ryan said, tired again from the fresh dose of meds.  
  
“You call me if you need anything, get him anything he needs and yourself,” Caleb told Alex, leaving the door half-open as he left.  
  
“I want you to sleep,” Alex said. “I’m under strict orders.”  
  
“No arguments here, nurse,” Ryan replied.  
  
She watched him finish rolling over onto his stomach and helped him put his casted arm on a pillow.  
  
He fell asleep before he could find out if she was going to undress before getting in his bed.  
  
\--------  
Caleb and Hailey stayed up after Alex sequestered herself at Ryan’s bedside.  
  
Rosa had gone to Kirsten’s to clean up after the extended visit from Marissa, Kaitlyn and Julie while they had been focused on Ryan so they were alone.  
  
“So, what did you think of Trey?” He asked Hailey.  
  
“It puts a whole new perspective on the kid, doesn’t it? I mean, I thought it was progress when he let Jimmy stay with him at the hospital, but seeing Ryan with Trey…I wonder if he’s ever going to trust us as much as he trusts him,” Hailey replied honestly.  
  
“He talked to Kirsten,” Caleb said. “Told her in no uncertain terms that she had to keep her emotions in check when she talked to him. Trey was pretty shaken up, but he never showed it in front of Ryan.”  
  
“How’d Kirsten take it?” Hailey replied.  
  
“Gracefully. I think we all needed to see someone who knows how to take care of Ryan firsthand,” Caleb sighed. “He seems like a nice guy, just like Ryan said. I don’t doubt that he has a wild streak, though, but Sandford made a good decision bringing him.”  
  
“How’d Kirsten take the news of Alex staying tonight?” Hailey asked.  
  
“Not so gracefully, but she accepted that Ryan wanted her here. As long as they stay fully clothed, though,” Caleb added. “Kirsten made that rule clear.”  
  
Hailey snorted. “I don’t think he’s in any shape to break that rule.”  
  
“When I got home and saw all the blood, and AJ’s body was still laid out…I thought we’d lost him,” Caleb said quietly.  
  
Hailey sighed heavily. “I know, Alex, she was so upset. I didn’t even come inside, she was just…freaked. The ambulance had just left and the cops were asking her all these questions. Rosa did a good job, though, she got the place cleaned up as soon as the cops cleared it.”  
  
“I’m going to go try and catch a few hours of sleep. I want to be close by if they need anything,” Caleb said, standing up and kissing her on the cheek. “You should get some rest too. I have a feeling tomorrow’s not going to be much easier on us.”  
  
“You know, I keep thinking…we really lucked out with Ryan. We could’ve gotten so much worse,” Hailey said quietly.  
  
“I know, Hailey. He’s a really great kid. At least one good thing came out of this tragedy, though. Nobody’s going to be able to take him from us…we just have to make sure he still wants to stay.” Caleb’s decision had been sealed when he saw Ryan in that hospital bed. He wasn’t going to let Ryan go without a fight.  
  
Hailey sighed. “I’m kind of getting used to having him around.”  
  
“Yeah. Me, too,” Caleb replied. They walked upstairs together and peeked into Ryan’s room. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully with Alex on the bed on top of the covers, also asleep.  
  
“We better get sleep while the getting’s good,” Hailey whispered, pulling the door closed and disappearing into her bedroom.  
  
\----------  
  
Alex woke up and found the bed empty, but Ryan’s spot in the bed was still warm so she knew she wouldn’t have woken up too long after he had.  
  
She heard the sink running in the bathroom and quickly got up, knocking softly on the door.  
  
“Hey,” Ryan said, opening the door a crack with wet hair and a toothbrush dangling from his mouth. “I’ll be out in a minute.”  
  
She knew she’d surprised him because he only had a towel wrapped around his waist and she could see the bruising and stitches in full display. She fought a wince at the damage.  
  
“Do you need any help?” she asked, noticing that he’d wrapped his cast in plastic wrap.  
  
“I got it so far, but I’ll let you know. Actually, can you find me some clothes?” Ryan said, but she wondered if he was just giving her something to do so she’d let him finish getting cleaned up in peace.  
  
She was quick to task, though, looking through his drawers until she found boxers and socks and choosing sweatpants and a grey t-shirt that would be loose over his cast and bandages.  
  
She returned to the bathroom and reached through the still cracked door to place the clothes on the sink.  
  
She made up the bed, glancing at the comic books she hadn’t noticed the night before. It was getting hard to ignore the fact that Ryan was just a kid. There were only two years between them, but he had parents and curfew and school eventually. She wondered if this relationship was really something she could handle. She genuinely liked Ryan and he was damned good in bed…but he was 15.  
  
After several minutes, he emerged, walking stiffly over to the bed.  
  
“Feel any better this morning?” she asked, knowing the answer.  
  
“I guess. I mean, I didn’t wake up last night, but I’m still sore as hell. My neck and arm really hurt,” he added quietly. “Thanks for staying.”  
  
“Thanks for letting me. Seems like you did a pretty good job of sending Kirsten and Jimmy home, I thought I was next on the list,” Alex replied.  
  
“I’m not used to so much…attention. I mean, I’m fine, they don’t have to watch me. You don’t either,” Ryan said.  
  
“You almost got killed yesterday,” she said, tracing her fingers over the bruising on his neck.  
  
He shrugged her off. “But I didn’t, and it’s over and…I don’t need to be reminded of it all the time. Kirsten looking like she’s going to cry and Jimmy watching me like I’m going to fall over midsentence…I just need some time to get myself together.”  
  
“Okay, so you really aren’t going to make this easy,” Alex muttered. He was so stubborn about letting people take care of him.  
  
“Make what easy?” Ryan replied. “That’s just what I mean. Why is today any different from any other day?”  
  
“Because you have a big-ass cast on your arm and you’re obviously in pain – we want to take care of you, that’s not different from any other day, you’re just making it different,” she replied.  
  
“I need some coffee,” he grumbled, sitting down on the bed and slowly starting to tear off the plastic around his cast from the shower.  
  
“I’ll get it,” Alex said immediately, earning another glare. “You’re supposed to stay in bed until you hear differently.”  
  
“Great,” she heard him mutter once she was in the hallway.  
  
“Alex, there are some people here to see Ryan, some of his friends from Chino,” Rosa said, meeting her at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“He’s kind of grumpy, but he’s awake, he wants coffee,” Alex replied.  
  
Rosa muttered something in Spanish. “Take him decaf, it’s in the pot on the warmer, I’ll see if he’s up for guests and talk to him about caffeine,” she said finally.  
  
She poured Ryan a cup of coffee and one for herself before returning up the stairs.  
  
“You must be Alex, I’m Eddie,” the tall dark kid by the door said.  
  
“Hey, Ryan’s talked about you,” Alex said, recognizing the name.  
  
Ryan was sitting on the bed, with a pretty Hispanic girl probing his neck gently and talking to him in murmured Spanish.  
  
Alex had wondered if she’d ever get to meet Teresa. She didn’t really like the tender way she was touching Ryan, but she knew she had to keep her claws in.  
  
“I almost didn’t tell her,” Eddie said quietly. “She’s been really worried about Ryan and this isn’t exactly going to calm her down.”  
  
“What’s she so worried about? Ryan’s happy here,” Alex said.  
  
“I know. And he’s really into you. But that doesn’t make Teresa any less worried,” Eddie muttered. “I thought we’d finally be able to be happy with a little distance between her and Ryan, but I think it just made things worse.”  
  
Alex wondered exactly how involved Ryan and Teresa had really been.  
  
\----------  
  
“It’s no big deal,” Ryan muttered in Spanish, trying to get Teresa to stop touching him. Eddie had driven her down and he didn’t want Alex to see his ex fussing over him either.  
  
“You look like shit, I can’t believe your mom’s dead…” she replied in Spanish.  
  
He motioned for Alex to come over and she immediately sat down beside him and held out his coffee.  
  
He sniffed it. “Rosa made you bring me decaf?”  
  
Alex snorted as he traded cups with her.  
  
“This is Teresa,” Ryan introduced. “T, this is my girlfriend, Alex.”  
  
“Ooh, girlfriend, well then I’m really happy to meet you, you must be pretty special to get an introduction like that,” Teresa said, shaking her hand politely as she sized her up.  
  
“Yeah, you, too. Nice of you guys to drive out to see Ryan,” Alex said.  
  
“Especially since you haven’t spoken to me in weeks,” Ryan added in Spanish to Teresa before turning to Eddie. “How’s the car doing?”  
  
“Good, man, I put the new transmission in last week and she’s running good,” Eddie said, smiling.  
  
“And Arturo, how’s he doing?”  
  
“He’s got to do a year, he’s going up next weekend,” Teresa answered quietly.  
  
“Damn,” Ryan whispered.  
  
“What for?” Alex asked.  
  
“Tried to rob a liquor store with a plastic gun,” Eddie replied, pulling up a chair beside Teresa.  
  
“What happened, Ryan? How’d AJ find you?” Teresa asked, changing the subject. He should have known Arturo was a sore subject for her right now.  
  
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “But Sandy says social services had been looking for mom and if they gave her my contact information, AJ could’ve found me. Everybody knew where I was. I didn’t think he’d look for me.”  
  
“He always hated you,” Teresa said. Ryan glared at her and she closed her mouth. But Alex was looking at him now and he didn’t want to consider what her expression meant.  
  
“He took out the guard at the gate,” Alex said, lowering her gaze after a long moment.  
  
“He killed a couple of people, too,” Eddie added.  
  
“We just wanted to make sure you were all right. George said you were, but…I needed to see for myself.” She glanced at him, pointedly.  
  
“Can you give us a minute, Alex?” he sighed, turning to her.  
  
She frowned but followed Eddie out of the room. This visit was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.  
  
“I came here for another reason,” Teresa said quietly, avoiding his eyes.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I wanted to apologize. I’ve been a bitch…” she started.  
  
“Yeah, what’s new?” he said, smiling to show he was half joking.  
  
“Eddie’s really pissed at me,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Thinks I’m still hung up on you, and he’s kind of right. I really miss you and I know that you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true.”  
  
He shook his head. “I have a life here now, and you chose Eddie – you left me for Eddie. You don’t get to try and ‘get me back’ now. You don’t have any right to miss me,” he said.  
  
Teresa nodded. “I know. And I do love Eddie…but…”  
  
“I talk to Eddie all the time. He gets that just even though I live out of town, we’re still friends. You don’t get that, you don’t want to be my friend. And I don’t want you to be my girlfriend. I really like Alex, and she’s really been there for me…” Ryan started.  
  
“I’m pregnant,” she interrupted.  
  
That was unexpected.  
  
“It’s Eddie’s, you know that, because of your whole ‘condom-required’ rule and I wish to god Eddie had the same rule…” she whispered. “But I haven’t told him.”  
  
“Why are you telling me?”  
  
“Because…god, I don’t know. Because you’re my best friend?” she asked.  
  
Ouch. It still didn’t mean he knew what to do. “Have you told your mom?”  
  
“No. Just…you.”  
  
“Teresa,” he whispered, as she buried her face against his chest and fought tears.  
  
“I’m not going to have an abortion…I’m going to have it…but Eddie’s just getting on his feet and I’m still in school…what kind of life is our baby going to have?”  
  
Ryan wasn’t really comfortable with this conversation, but he knew she just needed someone to listen. “You don’t think Eddie will make a good father?”  
  
“No…he’ll be a great father…but…I never thought I’d end up here, Ryan. I always thought if I had kids…” she took a shaky breath before continuing, “I always thought if I had kids they would be with you.”  
  
Ryan really didn’t want to touch that comment either. “You have to tell him.”  
  
She leaned back, wiping her eyes. “I know.”  
  
“Do you? Teresa…you have to tell him,” he repeated.  
  
“I know, Ryan, God…I didn’t come here for a lecture…” she sighed.  
  
“Teresa, you’re one of the toughest chicks I know. You’re smart and independent and even if you weren’t with Eddie, I know you’re going to be a great mother. If anyone can do this, you can. You have Eddie and your mom will help you and…you can do this,” Ryan said, trying to tell her what she needed to hear.  
  
“God, you’re so full of it,” she laughed. “But thank you. I’m sorry for dumping all this on you after being such a bitch…”  
  
“If you try to chalk up your bitchiness to hormones, I’m going to hurt you,” he teased. “Are you going to be okay?”  
  
“Yeah. And I’ll tell Eddie on the way back, so he can’t run away,” she said. “Take care of yourself, Ry,” she added, kissing him chastely on the lips and going to the door.  
  
Eddie called his goodbyes and Alex returned, closing the door behind her.  
  
“I feel like I was just ambushed,” Ryan said.  
  
“Yeah, me too. Didn’t know you and your ex were still so cozy,” Alex said, not sitting down. She had her arms crossed in front of her and Ryan could tell that she was pissed. He just wasn’t sure exactly why.  
  
“Cozy?” he replied. “She hasn’t talked to me since I got here. She dumped me for Eddie months ago, she had just started talking to me again right before I got mixed up in this Newport stuff,” Ryan replied.  
  
“This ‘Newport stuff’? What’s that supposed to mean? God, sometimes you really are just a spoiled little kid…”  
  
“What?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you’re pissed about, Alex, can you clear that up for me?”  
  
“She knows about AJ. She said he hated you, and I know that none of your family or me knew how dangerous he was.”  
  
“He was out of my life, Alex, there was no reason to talk about him – what happened in Chino is in the past, I’m trying to make this work now…” Ryan said, his head starting to pound. God, this was a shitty day. It was like he’d had too many good days in a row and now he had to suffer the consequences.  
  
“A man drove hundreds of miles just to kick your ass. A man you’d barely mentioned wanted to kill you and you didn’t think that was important enough to mention to your girlfriend or your mom or dad.”  
  
“My mom or dad? My dad’s in jail and my mom’s dead,” Ryan said coldly. “I might have Kirsten and Jimmy’s DNA, but it doesn’t make them feel like my parents. What’s this really about, Alex? Because you seemed okay before Teresa and Eddie showed up here.”  
  
“I guess seeing Teresa touching you and talking to you just showed me a different side of you. I’ve been seeing a lot of different sides of you. And I don’t…I don’t really know you as well as I thought I did.”  
  
“Are you serious? We just started dating, Alex…”  
  
“And Teresa?” she replied.  
  
“I’ve known her for years, we grew up next door to each other and we were friends a long time before we started dating,” he replied. “Is this really about Teresa?”  
  
“No. It’s about…it’s about you being 15. You’re a kid…and you have all this…”  
  
“Baggage? It’s not like you didn’t know what you were getting into, I've been up front with you about everything – I even told you how old I was when you asked…Goddammit, Alex,” he hissed.  
  
“Ryan, I don’t want to fight,” she sighed.  
  
“A little late for that, but I’m glad we’re at least on the same page now. I guess we’re taking a break. You need to hang out with kids your age and I need to start finding friends that don't cut and run when bad shit happens. Thanks for staying with me last night, Alex, close the door on your way out.” He stood up and managed not to fall over as his headache kicked back at the rapid movement.  
  
“No, Ryan, look…”  
  
“Go, Alex. Now, before I have to call Hailey. You guys are friends and I really don’t want to have to ask her to make you leave,” Ryan threatened.  
  
She grabbed her bag, her face pale. “This isn’t what I wanted, or what I meant…”  
  
“You already think I’m a spoiled kid, I might as well act like it,” he snapped. She slammed the door when she left.  
  
Fuck.  
  
\----------  
  
Hailey was munching on some of the snack trays sent by various Newpsies in response to the stories about Ryan’s attack. She knew they just wanted first scoop, but luckily Caleb was handling it gracefully and keeping the more horrifying and exaggerated tales of Ryan’s pre-Newport life from getting out of control.  
  
Alex had stormed past her earlier in the day and no one had seen Ryan since. Rosa had checked on him a few times, and Caleb, but he hadn’t left his room. Somehow he’d managed to convince Caleb to postpone his trip back to the hospital for more tests for a couple of days.  
  
Hailey was biding her time before making her visit. So when he appeared, slow and stiff, she was almost sorry for even questioning why he’d stayed in bed. The bruises had darkened and his neck was so dark that it looked like he was wearing a turtleneck. “Hey,” she said as he made his way to the table.  
  
He sat down and huffed out a ‘hey’ before leaning his head forward on the arm not cradled in the sling.  
  
“How’re you feeling?” she asked softly, trying not to piss him off.  
  
“Sore. Headache. Arm hurts.”  
  
“You should’ve stayed in bed…”  
  
“I know. Just…didn’t want to. Restless, I guess,” he muttered, not raising his head.  
  
“Can I get you anything?”  
  
“Coffee?” he questioned.  
  
“All right,” she said, going to the fridge first to consult his medication list before selecting a couple of painkillers that hadn’t been ‘checked’ recently in the ‘dose given’ box on the note. She fixed his coffee and returned to the table, putting the pills down beside the mug.  
  
“Thanks.” He swallowed the pills and took a gulp of the steaming coffee.  
  
“It was hot, Ryan,” she scolded, seeing his immediate frown.  
  
“Throat’s sore, I thought it would help…but it just burned,” he smiled, embarrassed.  
  
“Tell you what, why don’t you hang out with me in the den for a while. I’m going to watch some cheesy talk-shows and snack until Rosa takes the food away,” Hailey suggested, watching the tired kid for a reaction.  
  
“I don’t have a better offer,” he muttered. She took his coffee and he followed her into the den. She was glad that her father’s house was so elaborate that there were several rooms with entertainment centers and comfortable furniture. She didn’t want have to go back into the room where Ryan was beaten for a long time.  
  
Ryan sat down at the end of the couch and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as his hair feathered out against the upholstery as if it was as defeated as he was.  
  
She found the remote controls and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, flipping on the TV and turning the sound down to a reasonable level, watching Ryan from the corner of her eye.  
  
He looked so miserable and she was getting miserable just watching him. She took the pillow from the loveseat and placed it on her lap, reaching over to him. “Come here, kid. I won’t bite, I promise.”  
  
He glanced at her warily, but the exhaustion was stronger and he stretched out fully on the couch, laying his head on the pillow in her lap and letting her put a pillow under him so he could rest his broken arm  
  
“Better?”  
  
“I’ll let you know,” he murmured, but he’d relaxed slightly.  
  
“Everything all right with you and Alex?” she asked after a long moment of silence.  
  
“I’ll let you know,” he replied ambivalently.  
  
That didn’t sound good.  
  
“I’ve got more baggage than she expected, apparently. And I’m 15 and she wants to hang out with people her own age,” he mumbled, not opening his eyes.  
  
Hailey frowned. She thought Alex and Ryan were doing well and the girl had never mentioned anything about Ryan’s age to her before. She wondered what was really going on.  
  
“Teresa’s pregnant,” he added after a beat.  
  
“What?” Hailey asked, startled.  
  
“That’s what I said. It’s not mine…”  
  
“I wasn’t going to ask that…” Hailey protested but Ryan snorted, knowing the truth.  
  
“I don’t want to talk. I just want to lay here and try to pretend that this week didn’t happen,” he sighed.  
  
She didn’t push him and after several minutes, he drifted to sleep.  
  
Caleb appeared, smiling at the sight of her sitting with Ryan on the couch. “How’s he doing?” he whispered.  
  
“Said he was restless. I gave him some more meds, he was hurting a little,” she replied. "He’ll settle in again. I’m sure of it,” Hailey added. She knew that Alex had been a big part of why he’d settled in so quickly the first time, she’d given him an escape from the many family members that were volleying for time with him.  
  
“What’s going on? You’ve got ‘that’ look on your face,” Caleb replied.  
  
“He’s having girl trouble,” she whispered. She was surprised to see Caleb smile. “Why does that make you happy?”  
  
“Because I’m much more comfortable knowing he’s having girl trouble than worrying about his mom and people coming to hurt him,” her dad replied.  
  
“True, I guess,” Hailey replied,  
  
“Sandy and I are making some calls about his brother. See if we can’t expedite his prison term. Don’t mention it to the kid until we hear something more definite,” Caleb said quietly.  
  
“That’ll be nice. But are you sure you should base your decision on meeting him one time?” Hailey asked, stroking Ryan’s hair to make sure he stayed asleep.  
  
“We’re not putting him up in the guest house or anything, Hailey. But we all agree that Ryan needs to keep a connection with his adopted brother. There’s a minimum security prison about 30 miles from here and they have a rehabilitation program. The prisoners are allowed to go to work and spend certain holidays with their families, but they’re drug tested and closely monitored and have to attend intensive counseling. If all goes well, he’ll be moved to that facility and maybe we can help him get back on his feet. For Ryan’s sake.”  
  
“Why aren’t you telling him?” Hailey asked.  
  
“No sense in getting his hopes up in case it falls through.”  
  
“You guys are sure talking a lot. Am I missing anything important?” Ryan mumbled with a muffled sigh.  
  
“No, kid. Just sleep,” Hailey laughed.  
  
He opened his eyes into thin slits, recognizing Caleb. “Hey.”  
  
“Hailey’s turning out to be a pretty good pillow, is there anything else you need, Ryan?” Caleb asked.  
  
“No, I’m fine, thanks,” Ryan mumbled.  
  
“Has he eaten anything today?” Caleb asked Hailey.  
  
She started to answer but Ryan mumbled something unintelligible and sighed, sitting up.  
  
“I’m taking that as a no,” Hailey replied.  
  
He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “I don’t want anything.”  
  
Caleb glanced at her. “Ryan, you’ve barely eaten anything…” he started.  
  
“Why is it so hard to believe that I’m not hungry?” he asked, more lucid now.  
  
“Because you usually eat, like, constantly,” Hailey said. “Like a teenage boy is supposed to eat. Is it the painkillers?”  
  
Ryan rubbed his eyes again before pulling up the front of his shirt to display his badly bruised abdomen. “And my throat’s sore,” he replied quietly as he lowered it again quickly.  
  
“How about a milkshake? That way you can put something other than coffee in your stomach and it’ll be easy on your throat,” Caleb suggested.  
  
Ryan didn’t reply right away, fumbling with the sling.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You guys don’t have to watch me all the time, you don’t have to sit around the house with me and stuff. I’m okay,” he said quietly.  
  
“Ryan, I don’t want to upset you, but you need to realize that your life here, it’s different from your life in Chino. You might have had to recover from…injuries and things on your own in Chino, but you don’t do have to do that here. Our family, meaning your family, we take care of each other and that means hovering and making sure you eat and that you don’t use your arm and that you’re not in pain,” Caleb said softly.  
  
Ryan sighed. “I thought it was over.”  
  
Hailey glanced at him, confused. “What?”  
  
“I didn’t think AJ would find me here. That’s why I didn’t tell anybody how mean he was because I didn’t think I’d have to see him again,” Ryan said.  
  
Hailey didn’t know where that statement had come from. She lightly mussed his hair until he looked over at her. “That part of your life is over now. Milkshake?”  
  
“Okay,” he conceded.  
  
“I know why you’re so grumpy,” Hailey realized suddenly. “You haven’t had a cigarette!”  
  
Caleb snickered, excusing himself to make Ryan a milkshake.  
  
“Rosa went through my room again. Or else Kirsten.”  
  
“Well, it’s a good time to quit,” Hailey said.  
  
“So you aren’t going to let me bum one, are you?” Ryan asked after a moment.  
  
She laughed. “No, kid.” She lowered her voice and confessed, “Rosa goes through my room, too.”  
  
\----------  
  
  
  
Kirsten held Seth’s hand loosely as she pushed open the door to her father’s house.  
  
“What does Ryan do with Grandpa all day?” Seth whispered.  
  
She smiled. It was a question she’d asked herself a few times. “You have to ask him, honey. Are you all right?”  
  
“I just walked from the car, it’s not like we walked up a mountain,” Seth replied, rolling his eyes. He was getting more energy every day, but he was still weak. She wasn’t sure at first about bringing him to see Ryan so soon, but Seth had demanded to see him and she had always had trouble saying no to him.  
  
“Hey, little man,” Ryan said, smiling from the couch where he was sitting and drinking something with a straw.  
  
Hailey waved at her but kept her eyes on Seth who had dropped her hand immediately and hurried over to Ryan.  
  
“Wow, are you all right?” Seth whispered.  
  
“I’m okay, just a little bruised up,” Ryan replied, giving Seth a gentle one armed hug. “What about you?”  
  
“Dude, I’m fine, but you, you look like you got steamrolled,” Seth replied, still studying Ryan with intensity.  
  
Ryan smiled but didn’t seem put out and accepted Kirsten’s kiss on his forehead before she took a seat on the loveseat. “Where’s Dad?” she asked her sister.  
  
“He’s making milkshakes,” Hailey shrugged.  
  
“Go tell him to make one for you, they’re really good,” Ryan told Seth who immediately hurried off in search of Caleb.  
  
“How are you doing today?” she asked. She’d stopped by and peeked in on him early in the morning, but hadn’t let him know she was there. Alex seemed to have had good control of the situation.  
  
“Still pretty sore,” he replied.  
  
“I hope it’s all right that I brought Seth, he was pretty worried about you and I couldn’t calm him down.”  
  
“It’s cool. I mean, I still look awful, but it’s not something I can hide with makeup,” Ryan replied. “And from the flowers and stuff the people from Newport keep sending, I can’t pretend like he’s not going to find out what happened.”  
  
“We’re getting flowers for you at our house, too,” she smiled. “Seems like you made a pretty good impression at your party.”  
  
“Flowers, yay,” Ryan snorted. “But I think Rosa likes them.”  
  
“Milkshakes all around,” Caleb announced, bringing Hailey and Kirsten glasses and ushering Seth over to the couch.  
  
Seth sat beside Ryan, sipping on his milkshake contentedly but casting worried glances at Ryan occasionally.  
  
“You waiting for me to burst into flame?” Ryan asked, amused.  
  
“No. But you just got here and I’m sorry you got hurt…I want you to be happy so you’ll stay and you’re all messed up,” Seth said.  
  
Kirsten started to warn Seth but Ryan didn’t seem to mind, patting Seth on the leg. “It’s cool, Seth. This just means I’ll have more time to spend with you learning all about your comics and video games while I’m stuck in the house,” Ryan said.  
  
Seth smiled, seeming satisfied. “All right.”  
  
“All right,” Ryan agreed.  
  
“Dad used to make us milkshakes when we were kids,” Kirsten said, sipping the sweetness.  
  
“Whenever he’d ground us, he’d make us milkshakes to apologize for being a hardass,” Hailey added. Caleb was feigning ignorance from his recliner.  
  
“Aunt Hailey, you’re not supposed to say ‘ass’ in front of Mom,” Seth whispered, making Ryan stifle a chuckle.  
  
“Sorry,” Hailey grinned.  
  
“Milkshakes are one of the few things Rosa lets me cook,” Caleb said.  
  
“You don’t really have to cook them, Grandpa,” Seth said seriously.  
  
“Of course I do, it’s my special recipe,” Caleb replied, equally serious.  
  
Seth rolled his eyes, smiling. “You’re silly. Ryan, can I see your room?”  
  
“Sure,” Ryan said, putting down his empty glass and stiffly getting to his feet.  
  
“Go slow, Seth,” Kirsten said, giving Ryan a look to show that she meant him, too.  
  
They disappeared toward the stairs as Hailey started slurping from the bottom of her glass.  
  
“He shouldn’t be out of bed,” Kirsten said.  
  
“He was lying down most of the time, he had just sat up before you got here,” Hailey said.  
  
“Where’s Alex?” she asked.  
  
“They had a fight. Teresa and Eddie came to visit this morning,” Hailey answered again.  
  
“Oh,” she said.  
  
“Jealousy, then?” Caleb asked.  
  
“I don’t know, he didn’t really go into detail. Just that he was bummed,” Hailey shrugged.  
  
“Well, I’m sure he’ll find a replacement,” Caleb said after a moment.  
  
“Dad!” Kirsten scolded.  
  
“No, Kiki, what I mean is,” he stammered. “That he’s an attractive young man and there are other fish in the sea.”  
  
She glared at him. “I thing maybe we need to set some fresh ground rules for him regarding girlfriends.”  
  
“Good luck,” Hailey muttered.  
  
“What’s that mean?” she asked.  
  
“Like Dad set such nice ground rules for us?” Hailey asked.  
  
“I never had a problem,” Kirsten said.  
  
“You dated Jimmy until you…stopped,” Hailey said, seeming to realize what she was saying.  
  
“Both of you had strict curfews…” Caleb protested.  
  
“Oh, come on, Dad, I went to Mexico my sophomore year and you didn’t even know until those cops called you from the border,” Hailey snorted.  
  
“And she only got grounded for, like, three days before she got busted getting high in Santa Monica,” Kirsten added. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I don’t want to happen to Ryan.”  
  
“What do you want me to do, put a tracking collar on him?” Caleb asked. “He’s a responsible young man and he’s impressed me so far in the way he’s handled things. I’ll have a talk with him about the ladies, but I’m not going to shove rules down his throat until he shows me that he needs them. He calls when he’s out past midnight, he always carries his phone and he doesn’t ride his bike at night. And he uses protection…”  
  
“Dad!” Hailey protested.  
  
“All right,” Kirsten said, taking note of Hailey’s attempt to hide Ryan’s sexual activity from her. She was going to have to keep an eye on the two of them. “You’ve done a really good job so far, Dad, and I have no complaints. Except for the whole ‘having sex’ part,” she added.  
  
“Noted,” Caleb said. “He’s your son and you have the right to have a say in how he’s raised. But Ryan’s already pretty much ‘raised’ and I have to take that into consideration, too. For the moment, anyway, while he’s living here.”  
  
“Don’t I get a say?” Hailey asked, raising her hand.  
  
“No,” Kirsten said in unison with her father.  
  
“Fine,” Hailey smiled. “Too much responsibility anyway. I’m going upstairs where the fun people are,” she said, leaving Kirsten with Caleb.  
  
“Hailey’s great with him. He was curled up in her lap when I came in today, sleeping like a baby,” Caleb said.  
  
“As long as she’s not taking him to Mexico, I’m glad,” Kirsten replied.  
  
\----------  
  
Hanging out with Seth had worn him out and he didn’t go back downstairs after he was gone, falling asleep on his bed.  
  
When he woke up, Sandy was sitting in the chair beside his bed, flipping through a comic with his eyebrows furrowed in thought.  
  
“Hey. What’s with the stakeout?” Ryan yawned.  
  
“Julie’s downstairs and I wanted to see you. Took advantage of the quiet,” Sandy said, smiling at him. “I know everyone’s been asking you the same question, but…”  
  
“How am I doing?” Ryan finished. “Okay. Sore as hell, but okay,” he answered. “How’s Trey?”  
  
“Worried, but he’s okay, too. He was really happy to see you, I think, even though you were hurt,” Sandy replied.  
  
“Yeah, me too. Thank you for going to get him for me, Sandy. It…it means a lot,” he said honestly.  
  
“We want you to be happy here. But, to tell you the truth, I don’t think any of us know how to deal with the kind of life you had before you came here. So I hoped Trey could help you in all the ways that we couldn’t,” Sandy said.  
  
“He did. I mean, you guys have all been great…but from the way I’ve been getting lectured today, it’s kind of obvious that I’m not used to all this attention,” Ryan said. Hailey and Sandy were probably the people he was closest to in Newport. They were the only two people that didn’t seem to make a big deal about him being around.  
  
“We’re not used to people we care about getting hurt. You know we spoil Seth, but he’s been so sick that it’s second nature to us to be overprotective and when you got hurt, Ryan…god, it just scared us all to dead. I think Caleb lost what little hair he’s got left,” Sandy said.  
  
“It scared me, too. I was not expecting AJ,” Ryan said.  
  
“Things have been a little crazy around here, Ryan, but has anyone talked to you…about your mom?” Sandy asked softly.  
  
Ryan shook his head. It was nice of Sandy to ask. “I haven’t wanted to think about it.”  
  
“Do you want to talk about it, though?” Sandy asked.  
  
He shook his head again. “Not really. I mean…she was my mom for 15 years. And she made a lot of mistakes…and it’s not like I can talk about her with anyone here because they didn’t know her like I knew her. They just know that she let AJ beat me up and that she was a junkie.”  
  
“But she was your mother, too,” Sandy said. “I know you cared about her…and if you ever want to talk, you just let me know, all right?”  
  
“Thanks. But I need to…keep it to myself for now. It’s, like, mixed up. I can’t really believe that she’s gone, but I couldn’t really believe she left me in Chino either. And, I, sort of, forgive Kirsten and Jimmy for what they did, but it’s because they did something to try and make it up to me, and Mom, she didn’t – she kept using and she stayed with AJ and she didn’t come back for me,” Ryan said. “So…she died without me getting a chance to forgive her and now I don’t know if I can…”  
  
“Do you think you need to forgive her? Do you think she needs you to forgive her?” Sandy asked. “Because I think your mother knew that you loved her very much, and I don’t think you ever did anything to hurt her. You don’t have to forgive her, Ryan, and I don’t want you to ever feel guilty for loving her.” Sandy watched him with serious, yet kind eyes.  
  
“Okay,” he replied finally. “But…”  
  
“But what?” Sandy asked.  
  
“I mean, I can’t really be mad at her for not coming to get me, because…I really didn’t want her to. I mean, it’s really nice here. And I didn’t want social services to find her. Maybe if I’d pushed harder to find her, to talk to her – maybe I could’ve stopped her,” Ryan said, the words spilling out in a harsh whisper. It felt like going to confession.  
  
“You can’t think that, Ryan. You couldn’t have saved her if she didn’t want to be saved. You can’t make people’s decisions for them, you can only make your own,” Sandy said.  
  
Ryan let out a breath he’d been holding and Sandy patted him on the knee.  
  
“Are you going to be okay?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Yeah. But…can I have a little time alone? I’ll be down in a while, but I want to get a little sleep,” Ryan said honestly.  
  
“Okay. But I’ll be back later,” Sandy said, cupping his cheek and giving his face an affectionate pat. “I meant what I said. If you ever feel like talking…”  
  
“I know where you live,” Ryan replied, turning off the lamp as Sandy left. He closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking.  
  
\----------  
  
Alex hadn’t thought about Ryan in over twenty minutes when she glimpsed the familiar face drinking a Yoo-Hoo by the bar.  
  
“Zach?”  
  
“Alex, hey,” the kid greeted her by raising his chocolate soda. “How’s Ryan doing? His grandpa’s not letting anyone in to see him and I don’t have his phone number,” Zach asked.  
  
“He’s going to be all right,” Alex replied.  
  
“What are you doing here? I mean, is he here? Because I heard he was, like, really messed up,” Zach asked.  
  
“I just needed to get out for a while. And we had a fight,” she confessed, her beer getting the best of her.  
  
“Oh, that sucks. I thought you guys were really getting along…what happened?”  
  
She wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but didn’t. “You just met him, too, right?”  
  
“Yeah, and the people around here weren’t really welcoming to him, a lot of the kids were real bitches to him, but he just shook it off. He’s a really cool guy…” Zach shrugged.  
  
“I’m two years older than him,” Alex said.  
  
“So? How was he cramping your style? Hell, he said he never gets carded…are you sure it’s not something else?”  
  
“Like what?” Alex challenged.  
  
“Like, seeing him all messed up made you realize how much you liked him and that scared you,” Zach replied.  
  
“You don’t even know me!” Alex protested.  
  
“No, you’re right, I don’t, but my sister’s boyfriend broke his leg once and she lasted, like, a week seeing him in traction before she started freaking out. Did you have all these reservations about dating him before his accident?”  
  
“Fuck you, Zach,” she sighed. “That’s not it. He’s just…got a lot of baggage that I’m not ready to deal with.”  
  
“I’m not dating him, you don’t have to explain yourself. I didn’t mean to talk shit about your relationship. Ryan’s a friend of mine, at least I hope so, and I don’t want to get mixed up in his love life.”  
  
“No, I guess I kind of dumped on you.” Alex’s friends waved to her from the dance floor. “I better go, but I’ll tell Ryan to call you.”  
  
“Thanks,” Zach called after her.  
  
\----------  
  
“How’s he doing?” Jimmy asked Sandy when the man emerged from Ryan’s room.  
  
“I think he’s getting by,” Sandy replied. “He’s got a lot on his mind.”  
  
“I guess so.”  
  
“Said he wanted to sleep a little longer. I think Seth wore him out. How are the girls doing?”  
  
“They’ve been making get well cards all day, the house is covered with glitter,” Jimmy replied, brushing some off of his sleeve. “You think I should wait before going in?”  
  
“That’s up to you, I guess. He turned the lights off. I talked to him about his mother a little. I know she’s not on the top of any of our lists right now, but she was still the woman that raised him for 15 years,” Sandy added.  
  
“I hadn’t honestly thought about her, I’ve just been so worried about him, I could care less about her.”  
  
“Yes, but he does care,” Sandy said, patting him on the shoulder before going downstairs.  
  
Jimmy knocked softly on the door and received murmured permission to enter. “Hey, kid.”  
  
“Hey, Jimmy. You didn’t bring Marissa and Kaitlyn did you?” Ryan asked, sitting up and pulling the blanket up over his arms.  
  
“No, I heard you had a visit from Seth earlier and thought you’d be worn out. They’re pretty worried about you, though. I guess I rubbed off on them,” Jimmy admitted. “Do you mind if I come in? I don’t want to keep you awake.”  
  
“I just needed a break from the deep conversation for a little while. You can come in if you don’t start asking me about my feelings,” Ryan replied, visibly drained.  
  
“All right, I think I can manage that, or at least I’ll give it a try,” he said, sitting down. “I brought you some books, in case you got bored of watching TV. Caleb said you brought books back from Chino and I thought maybe you’d like to see some of my old books. About sailing, mostly,” Jimmy said. “I, kind, of got the feeling that you liked sailing with me the other day.”  
  
“It was nice, Jimmy, I liked it a lot, like, more than I thought I would.” Ryan replied honestly, picking up the books one by one and examining them. “Thanks.”  
  
“Where’s Alex?” Jimmy asked, not wanting to push Ryan too much to talk and looking for a safe subject.  
  
“Out. I think we broke up,” Ryan replied after a moment.  
  
“Oh. Sorry,” Jimmy whispered.  
  
“It’s cool. She figured out I had too much baggage and decided to move on. Not like it’s the first time that’s happened to me,” Ryan sighed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Ryan. But not everyone feels that way about you. You’re my son, baggage and all, and your life in Chino and before, it’s part of who you are,” Jimmy said. “I have to accept that there are things about yourself that you’ll never talk about and she has to accept that, too.”  
  
“Why does my past matter to her anyway, she wasn’t there,” Ryan replied. “I think seeing Teresa just brought up questions that I couldn’t answer for her.”  
  
“Have you talked to her?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“No, I was giving her some space. I don’t really want to see her right now,” he said.  
  
“If she calls…”  
  
“I don’t want to talk to her,” Ryan said. “I just need some time to myself.”  
  
“All right, I can take a hint.”  
  
“No, I just mean…can we go back to the whole ‘no heavy conversation’ thing again?” Ryan asked, smiling tiredly.  
  
“Sure. But you need your rest. I’ll leave you alone, keep everyone away for a couple of hours, how about that?” Jimmy offered.  
  
“Thanks. I’ll come down in a while, I promise,” Ryan said.  
  
“All right. But only if you feel like it,” Jimmy warned.  
  
“Okay. Thanks, Jimmy.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” he said, closing the door as he left. He waited until he saw the light switch off again under the bottom of the door before going downstairs.  
  
\----------  
  
  
  
“Can I see him?” Alex asked, meeting Hailey at the door.  
  
“Sorry, he’s requested no more visitors for tonight,” Hailey answered, looking at Alex appraisingly. “Did you have a good time?”  
  
Alex remembered she has the black ‘X’s on her hands from the club and her hair was a little mussed from the ride home in her friend’s pickup. “It’s not like that.”  
  
“He’s not up for company, Alex, I’m sorry,” Hailey said, closing the door and stepping outside.  
  
“I know you’re pissed at me, hell, I’m pissed at me, but I really need to talk to him before this gets any worse.”  
  
“I think you’re already too late for that, hon,” Hailey said. She lowered her voice. “He just got back from the doctor’s office and he’s not really himself, he’s kind of spinning and your little pissing match over Teresa didn’t help.”  
  
“I know, that’s why I need to talk to him, to apologize and tell him how fucked up I was. I mean…I saw Zach out tonight and he, kind of, talked some sense into me. I thought I was upset because Ryan didn’t tell me about his past, but we just started dating and I haven’t told him much about my past either. And I think I just really freaked out seeing him so hurt…”  
  
“I’m not the one that needs to hear this,” Hailey said after a beat.  
  
“I know, but you won’t let me in,” Alex said.  
  
Hailey sighed, pulling out her phone and texting.  
  
“Please don’t tell me you’re texting instead of just walking inside.”  
  
“Do not talk about my texting, okay?” Hailey glared before turning her attention back to the screen.  
  
“What’d he say?” Alex asked.  
  
“Come on, but you are not going to upset him. No matter what issues you have with him right now, he’s the one that almost got killed the other day and he’s the one I’m worried about. You’re still a friend of mine, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to hurt his feelings,” she said.  
  
“I already feel shitty enough, Hailey, you don’t have to rub it in,” Alex muttered, following her around the house to the pool. “Is he outside?”  
  
“Quiet,” Hailey hushed, leading her onto the patio where Ryan was sitting against the side of the house in the ‘smoking spot’. He glanced up at her behind his bangs, his eyes dark.  
  
“Should you be outside?” Alex asked.  
  
“Should you be here?” Ryan replied quietly, closing his phone and giving Hailey a look that made her leave them alone.  
  
“Look, I was a real bitch…”  
  
“You know what? I don’t want to hear it. You don’t have any stuff here to get, so what are you doing here?”  
  
“I like you. A lot. And I want this to work…”  
  
“What if I don’t?” Ryan asked after a moment.  
  
Alex was stunned. “We had a fight and now you’re breaking up with me?”  
  
“I think so,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Look, I made a mistake, I got jealous and you getting beaten up really upset me and I lost my cool for a little bit, but you can’t be serious…”  
  
“I was honest with you, I trusted you and told you things that I hadn’t told anyone else, and I’d only known you a few weeks. That’s my mistake. It took me years to be that close with Teresa, or anyone else for that matter. I fucked up thinking that this was more than just a fling,” Ryan replied. “You’re seventeen, you should be dating someone your own age.”  
  
“Why are you doing this?” she asked. He was totally shut off from her.  
  
“Because I’d rather be by myself than deal with you bitching at me for not living up to your expectations. I try to take care of myself and you say I’m being stubborn, you see someone helping me, you think I’m being childish. You see me talking to an old friend that drove over an hour to make sure I was all right and you think I’m being unfaithful,” Ryan said.  
  
“We had one fight, Ryan. I’m not giving up on us, I just needed to blow off some steam, to realize how much I care about you – how your age really doesn’t matter to me…I need you to listen to me.”  
  
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to,” Ryan replied quietly.  
  
Alex was confused. Had she been reading Ryan wrong all along? Was he really this cold? Had she really fucked up so badly that he couldn’t forgive her?  
  
“I thought you’d be happy to be done with me, move on to bigger, better things,’ Ryan muttered.  
  
She wasn’t going to leave. She sat down beside him on the cool concrete, staring him down. “We had a fight. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to see you anymore. I was stressed out and overprotective and jealous and I said things I didn’t mean. It doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on us.”  
  
Ryan looked at her, his face unreadable.  
  
“You’re stressed out, too. You’ve been living in Newport ever since I’ve known you and I think of Caleb and Kirsten and Hailey as your family and sometimes I forget that this is all new to you. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you right now, with your Mom passing away and being away from Trey and everything that you’ve known. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the way you needed me to be,” Alex said.  
  
That got his attention. He lowered his gaze.  
  
“Don’t shut me out, talk to me, yell at me, just don’t shut me out.”  
  
“I’m stressed out. And I really don’t need to deal with petty bullshit like fighting with you right now. I wouldn’t have started dating you if I thought AJ or any of this shit would come up – “  
  
“Stop it,” she said, recognizing him now, the emotion that lived behind his eyes, the way he clenched his jaw when he was thinking. She leaned over and cupped his cheek, kissing him softly. “No more fighting until you’re better. Take me off that pile of stress you’re carrying on your shoulders and let me be your girlfriend again.”  
  
“I’m never going to be your age. And I’m going to be fifteen for a couple of more months. And I’m going to be wearing this cast for longer,” Ryan said, turning his face away.  
  
“And I’m going to be hot-tempered and prone to jealousy for even longer,” Alex said. “I can deal if you can.”  
  
He met her gaze. “I guess we can give it another shot.”  
  
“We’re still on our first shot, Ryan,” she smiled, finally feeling better. She kissed him again and this time he kissed her back.  
  
It was nice to kiss him again and she let herself enjoy the closeness with him for several minutes before pulling away. “Don’t want Rosa to catch me making out with you again while you’re still all bruised up. But I did bring you something.”  
  
Ryan watched her warily, but his eyes lit up when she held out the cigarette. “Oh, you’re the best girlfriend ever.”  
  
\---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- --------- ----------- ---------- ---------- ---------- -------- ------------  
  
Sandy hurried into the room, finding Jimmy and Caleb chatting over coffee.  
  
“Sandford?” Caleb called, reading his face.  
  
“I have news,” Sandy said.  
  
“From the doctor? Ryan just got home, why’d he call you?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Not from the doctor, from social services. Kirsten’s on her way, but it’s…it’s good news,” Sandy said.  
  
“You can tell Kirsten when she gets here, tell us now,” Caleb said.  
  
“Where’s Ryan?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Outside, said he needed some air. Alex is with him,” Hailey announced, joining them. “What’s going on?”  
  
“Because of what’s happened to his mother and his two other relatives being incarcerated, the judge is willing to place Ryan here permanently in the care of his biological family. Jimmy, if you sign the papers declaring that you’re his biological father and Kirsten signs the same papers, then social services will be off our back and Ryan…he’s ours.”  
  
“Just like that?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Yeah. Because of the backwards way this was done, instead of making this a case of an orphaned kid with nowhere to go, they’re willing to file it as simply a boy who wanted to move in with his biological family. No more surprise visits or going to court for custody, Ryan will live with his parents. He’ll live with us,” Sandy said.  
  
“Who’s going to tell him?” Hailey asked after a long moment.  
  
“You think he’ll move in with you and Kirsten?” Jimmy asked him.  
  
“I think we need to sit down as a group and discuss that, once the courts aren’t involved. And do what’s best for Ryan,” Sandy replied carefully.  
  
Jimmy was looking at him. “Ryan’s pretty comfortable here. When he was in the hospital, this was where he meant when he said he wanted to go home.”  
  
“I know,” Sandy replied. “We can’t get ahead of ourselves.”  
  
“You still haven’t answered my question. Who’s going to tell him?” Hailey asked, nodding her chin outside where Sandy could see the puff of smoke from where Ryan and Alex were stationed.  
  
“He should tell him,” Caleb said, meeting Sandy’s eyes for a moment. “I think he trusts you more than any of us.”  
  
“I need to tell Kirsten first,” Sandy replied.  
  
“We’ll tell Kirsten. All I want to do is jump up and down that we don’t have to worry about losing him again, but you’re the only person he’s talked to about his mom and this might hit him differently than it hits us,” Jimmy said quietly.  
  
Sandy knew that it would. “All right. Wish me luck.”  
  
He went outside and cleared his throat before he turned the corner. He smiled when he saw Alex and Ryan sitting beside each other, both with their hands in front of them, not touching.  
  
“Alex, can I talk to Ryan for a little while?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Again? Come on, haven’t we talked enough?” Ryan mumbled. Alex kissed his cheek and went inside.  
  
Sandy took her seat beside him, watching Ryan flip a cigarette between his fingers. “I have some news.”  
  
“No news is good news, isn’t that how it goes? I don’t like news,” Ryan said, watching him.  
  
“I talked to your social worker today. And a judge.” Ryan’s eyes searched his face and Sandy forced himself to stay level. “They’ve agreed that they don’t need to monitor you anymore. Kirsten and Jimmy are your biological parents and there’s no reason now that they can’t assume full custody and all parental rights for you.”  
  
“What’s that mean for me?” Ryan replied after a beat.  
  
“You’re here with us permanently. No one is going to take you from us...” Sandy said slowly. “Unless you leave on your own, which I’m hoping never crosses your mind.”  
  
“I haven’t had a better offer just yet,” Ryan said softly.  
  
“It’s going to take a few days for all the paperwork to go through, but once it’s done…we’re all going to sit down together and talk about your future. Where you want to live,” Sandy said.  
  
“Oh. You and Kirsten…”  
  
“We still want you to live with us. But neither of us can deny that you seem to be settled here with Caleb and Hailey. You know, Hailey stayed with us most of the time before you moved in, but she hasn’t stayed in the poolhouse in weeks,” Sandy replied.  
  
Ryan glanced at him and raised the cigarette to his lips. “You mind?”  
  
“Yes, but I’m not going to stop you. I guess you’ve earned a break,” Sandy said.  
  
“Thanks. Old habits are hard to break,” Ryan said after he’d lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. He let the smoke drift out of his nostrils. “I went from having nobody giving a shit about me, to having lots of people trying to take care of me. My mom’s dead and my new family are strangers. I’m a stranger to them.”  
  
Sandy waited, counting to ten.  
  
“But none of you have done anything to make me not trust you. You’ve been up front about everything…and I don’t know if I can say the same anymore. And after AJ’s little visit…I can’t really hide what some parts of my life with Dawn were like,” Ryan replied.  
  
“You’re a great kid,” Sandy said. “An amazing kid. You’re a part of this twisted little family now, and nothing that you can ever tell us will change that – we aren’t going away.”  
  
“And where I live…” Ryan started, looking at him, his eyes unguarded.  
  
“Remember what I said to your brother when we went up to the jail? We want you where you’re stable and safe. Where you’re happy,” Sandy replied.  
  
“You and Jimmy and Caleb, I believe you when you say that,” Ryan said and Sandy caught what he wasn’t saying.  
  
“Kirsten wants what’s best for you, too,” Sandy said.  
  
“I know. She’s been great…but I’m just…I’m not that comfortable with her yet. I can see that she’s holding back, giving me space, and I really appreciate that…but if I move in with you, and I’m around her all the time…I don’t know how I’d deal with that,” Ryan whispered.  
  
“You spent a couple of nights with us when Seth came home last week and you seemed all right,” Sandy said slowly.  
  
“It was cool, but…permanently?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Think about it, Ryan. That’s all I’m asking. You’ll be 16 in a few months and can get your license and if you decide to stay here, you’ll still have a room at our house and you can split your time. Or you can live with us full-time and still have your room here at Caleb’s. And Jimmy’s name is still in the hat, too, you have choices. We’re not wardens, we just want you to consider this your home, wherever you sleep,” Sandy said.  
  
Ryan smoked his cigarette, avoiding Sandy’s gaze.  
  
“I want you to start school in the spring. I want you to sign up for baseball, or soccer, whatever’s in season so I can come to your games. I’d come to your plays, if you went for drama,” Sandy said, smiling to himself when Ryan glanced at him in surprise. Trey had told him lots of things on the ride back to jail. “I don’t know what your life was like in Chino, Ryan, but that’s going to be your life here.”  
  
“I have to think about it,” Ryan said. “You said you’ll give me a few days?”  
  
“Yes. But we will talk about it. Think about what you want. And we’ll figure it out together,” Sandy said.  
  
“All right,” he said, crushing out his cigarette. “Give me a hand up? I need to spray some cologne before Rosa smells the smoke on me.”  
  
Sandy helped him to his feet. “You okay?”  
  
“I’m so sick of that question. I’m fine. I’m going to get that tattooed on my face,” he muttered.  
  
“We’ll still ask,” Sandy chuckled.  
  
\---------- ----------  
  
  
  
Ryan was quiet at dinner despite Alex’s presence and the light-hearted banter of his extended family. Caleb was watching him carefully, trying to see if he could figure out what was bothering him. Apart from the obvious.  
  
Jimmy had stayed for dinner and with Kirsten, Sandy and Hailey there as well, Caleb thought that Ryan may just be overwhelmed. They all knew that Sandy had told him about the upcoming major decision about his permanent residence.  
  
“You feel okay? You’re a little pale,” Hailey said quietly so her sister wouldn’t hear.  
  
“Headache,” Ryan whispered.  
  
“Bad?” Hailey asked.  
  
“Little bit,” he replied. Hailey glanced at him, interpreting that as ‘really bad’.  
  
Caleb thought back to what the doctors had told them but nothing to warrant him having a headache. But for someone who didn’t take a lot of prescription medication, he knew that Ryan could simply be feeling the effects of several days of painkillers on his system, almost like a hangover.  
  
“Can I be excused?” Ryan asked after a moment, looking between Caleb and Kirsten.  
  
“Come on, I’ll walk you upstairs,” Caleb offered, giving Kirsten an apologetic look, but knowing that Ryan would be more comfortable with him than with her at this point.  
  
Ryan stood up and Caleb saw that he was swaying, and moved to stand behind him. “Slowly now…”  
  
“Dizzy,” Ryan replied softly. He wavered again before his eyelids fluttered and he slumped limply backwards into Caleb’s arms.  
  
“Ryan?” Alex was beside him immediately, helping Caleb lower him to the floor.  
  
“Give him some space,” Caleb said, noticing Ryan’s eyes still moving behind his lids. “Ryan, hey, can you open your eyes?”  
  
After a long moment, he blinked up at him, unfocused.  
  
“Kid?” Hailey called.  
  
“I hate it when you call me that…what happened?” he asked, pushing himself up on his elbow once he realized he was lying down.  
  
“You fainted, passed out, I mean,” Alex said. “Stay down…”  
  
“No, I’m okay, I think I just got up too fast, I’m okay,” Ryan said, but he was pale and visibly shaken.  
  
“Hailey, go call the doctor,” Caleb said, grateful when she hurried off to obey.  
  
“Here, honey,” Kirsten said, holding out a bottle of water. Ryan took a swallow, blinking his gratitude.  
  
“Not really helping my case for being okay, am I?” he asked with a tired sigh.  
  
“Not really,” Kirsten agreed with a smile.  
  
“Let’s get you on the couch, slowly, okay?” Jimmy said, offering his hand so Ryan could steady himself. Sandy followed closely behind them as they pulled him to his feet and guided him into the living room so he could sit down on the couch.  
  
“Is your head still hurting?” Caleb asked once he was seated on the couch safely.  
  
“Yeah. I really think I just stood up too fast,” Ryan repeated. His exhaustion was pronounced now and Caleb wondered if he’d been hiding it all along. He knew that he had been hiding it, to a point, but Caleb hadn’t realized quite how worn out his grandson really was.  
  
“You stay right here, okay? No stairs, no going anywhere until the doctor comes,” Caleb said, giving Alex a pointed look.  
  
She nodded, sitting down on the couch with him and pulling him gently to lean against her.  
  
His eyelids were drooping lower with every blink and Caleb didn’t know to be relieved or worried when they finally closed and he fell asleep against her shoulder.  
  
“What do you think?” Jimmy asked Sandy, visibly worried.  
  
“I think he shouldn’t be out of bed and he’s been smoking cigarettes and sitting up and entertaining us,” Sandy said quietly. “I think he’s exhausted.”  
  
“He’s been fighting it,” Kirsten agreed. “Pretending like he’s fine – but he’s so…hurt…”  
  
Hailey returned. “He’s on the way. About ten minutes, tops, he says.”  
  
“Do you really have connections with everyone in town?” Jimmy asked him.  
  
Caleb shrugged. “Maybe.”  
  
\---------------------  
  
“Bedrest means resting in bed,” the doctor said. “That means, you only get up if you have to go to the bathroom or the house is on fire. Got it?”  
  
Ryan nodded. “Yes, sir.”  
  
“Absolutely no stairs, I don’t want you walking more than 20 feet without a rest.”  
  
“Are you serious?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Ryan,” Jimmy warned.  
  
Kirsten, Jimmy and Caleb had been insistent on staying while the doctor poked and prodded him to make sure he was all right.  
  
He was so tired that he was glad they were here to remember all the stuff he knew he should be focusing on. His head still felt like it was splitting apart.  
  
“Your body has been through the wringer and even if you want to be up and around – your body has to heal. You have to let yourself heal and you pushed yourself entirely too hard today and it let you know.”  
  
Ryan sighed. “All right. Bedrest. Short walks. I can do that. For a little while.”  
  
“As long as he says,” Caleb said.  
  
“I’ll check you out again in three days and we’ll discuss again,” the doctor said.  
  
“Three days?” Ryan started, shutting up when Kirsten raised her eyebrow at him. “Fine. Three days.”  
  
The doctor turned to the adults. “Keep him on soft foods and limit his caffeine, no cigarettes – the stimulants help him stay awake and we need him to sleep – to rest.”  
  
Ryan was relieved when the doctor said his goodbyes. Alex walked in immediately. “Hey.”  
  
“Hey,” he said, kissing her softly. “You should go to work.”  
  
“Fuck work…”  
  
“I can’t pay your bills, babe,” he smiled. He squeezed her hand.  
  
“Babe? Oh you think you’re cute,” she teased.  
  
“Go to work. I’ll be here when you get off, or tomorrow. Or for the next three days,” he muttered. “I’m on serious lockdown.”  
  
“Good. I’ll go to work if you’re on lockdown,” Alex said.  
  
He kissed her again. “Go to work.”  
  
Hailey came in when she left and sat down on the couch, putting the pillow on her lap. “All right, you know the drill.”  
  
He stretched out, closing his eyes before his head hit the pillow.  
  
“What did he say about your headache?”  
  
“He says I’m tired. And that my body’s pissed I’ve been making it walk around,” he replied.  
  
“Well, no more worries about that.”  
  
He drifted to sleep with her fingers threading through his hair. Trey and Teresa had always done that when he had migraines and it was familiar even with the new person doing it.  
  
\---------------------  
  
“We can’t let him sleep on the couch all night,” Kirsten whispered to Sandy.  
  
Ryan had been asleep for the past few hours on the couch, barely stirring even when Hailey had to get up to go to the bathroom and left him the whole couch.  
  
“He seems comfortable,” Sandy replied.  
  
“He won’t be when he wakes up,” Kirsten insisted.  
  
“We can help him to his room, slowly, and put him to bed,” Sandy agreed, seeing the way Ryan’s good arm was bent beneath him.  
  
She nodded. “Ryan, honey, let’s go upstairs so you can stretch out,” she said soothingly, leaning over and touching the side of his cheek.  
  
He blinked at her after a moment, his eyes clouded with sleep and exhaustion. “Hm?”  
  
“Do you want to go upstairs, sweetie?”  
  
“Okay,” he said, wincing as he pushed himself gingerly to sit up. He rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”  
  
“Late. We didn’t want to wake you, but we want you to be comfortable. You ready?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Yeah,” he yawned.  
  
Kirsten made a point to keep Ryan walking slowly and watching him carefully for any sign of light-headedness, but they made it to his room without incident.  
  
“You think I can take a shower?” Ryan asked, sitting down heavily on his bed.  
  
“Can you wait until tomorrow?” Kirsten asked.  
  
He nodded but didn’t lie down.  
  
Sandy patted him gently on the shoulder and left her with him.  
  
“You feel all right?” she asked automatically.  
  
“Stiff from lying down so much,” he replied. He looked at her for a moment, as if he wanted to ask her something. After a moment, he spoke quietly. “Can I ask you to do something and you won’t freak out?”  
  
“Sure,” she said immediately. Kirsten had been waiting for weeks for him to ask her for something.  
  
“Can you…pull these bandages off my back? They’re really itching and I just need them off,” he said.  
  
She helped him take off his shirt, grateful that he was comfortable enough with her to ask her and willing herself not to react to the bruising and stitches. “Lie down on your stomach and I’ll wash the sticky stuff off after I take the dressings off, maybe that will help with the itching,” she offered.  
  
“Okay. Thanks,” he said, relaxing when he noticed that she wasn’t staring or crying at him. Trey gave good advice. Ryan seemed to adjust himself according to the people around him and if one person was angry or upset, he’d shut off. If she could keep her composure, maybe Ryan wouldn’t shutter himself from her.  
  
She took care of Seth all the time, she’d seen him go through horrible pain and had managed to be strong for him and made sure that he knew he could turn to her. But Ryan, she had so much guilt and regret building up inside her that she hadn’t been able to form a maternal connection with him yet.  
  
She sat down beside the bed with a bowl of water and a soft washcloth and carefully began stripping away the bandages the doctors had taped over the wounds and stitches. She was pleased that they hadn’t bled much but she knew that the healing skin had to be itching.  
  
“You okay? Did I hurt you?” she asked quietly after all the bandages were safely removed. He hadn’t flinched, but she’d seen by the rapid rising and falling of his back that he’d been awake.  
  
“No.” He turned his face toward her, leaning the opposite side against the pillow. “I thought it would hurt, so I was tensed up,” he admitted.  
  
“Sandy and I went to Hawaii on vacation once before Seth was born, and he wiped out against some rocks when he was surfing. I was changing his bandages for weeks,” she said, speaking levelly to keep the laid back atmosphere Ryan needed. “He whined every time.”  
  
“Sandy whines?” Ryan smiled.  
  
“Where do you think Seth learned it from?” she teased. She cleaned the excess adhesive and gently brushed across the stitches and wounds to get the stray fibers that were stuck to his back.  
  
“Thanks. That’s much better,” Ryan said when she was done.  
  
“Do you want to put on another shirt? You might want to let them breathe tonight, if you don’t turn over on your back,” she said.  
  
“I’ll put one on if I get cold,” he said.  
  
“All right. Anything else you need before you make me leave you alone?” Kirsten asked.  
  
He smiled. “No. I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he added.  
  
She cleaned up and pulled a thin sheet up to his waist before leaning over and kissing him on his upraised cheek. She had to stake her claim. She couldn’t hesitate anymore, even if it made him uncomfortable at first, she had to start showing him that she was his mother. That she would be a better mother than the one he’d lost, if he gave her the chance. “Sleep well, okay?”  
  
“Thanks,” he said, closing his eyes. She turned off the light when she left and closed the door.  
  
She wanted him to come and live with her, so she could tuck him in every night and make sure he didn’t get out of bed or wear himself out. She trusted her dad and Hailey, but it didn’t mean she wanted to leave Ryan here every night. She wanted him home, with her. She wanted both her sons with her.  
  
“Honey?” Sandy joined her in the hall. “You get him to go to sleep?”  
  
“Close as I could manage,’ she replied.  
  
“Let’s go home. We’ll come back tomorrow, see if we have to tie him to the bed,” Sandy joked.  
  
“All right,” she conceded. She needed to see Seth. Ryan was safe. He’d be okay, and he was settled here. It was all she could ask for now.  
  
\---------------------  
  
“Hey, kid, you know anybody named Zach?” Hailey asked, walking into his room with a tray of fruit, juice and assorted goodies prepared by Rosa to entice him to eat.  
  
“Yeah, he’s a friend of mine, why?” Ryan replied, interested.  
  
“He’s downstairs, wants to know if he can see you,” Hailey replied. “You want me to tell him to beat it?”  
  
“No, he can come in, it’s cool,” Ryan said. He was bored and fidgety and needed some kind of distraction until Alex was done at the coffee shop.  
  
After a few minutes, Zach walked in. “Hey, dude, how you doing?”  
  
Ryan could tell he was taking in all his injuries but he appreciated that he didn’t say anything. “I’m doing all right, despite how it looks. I’m, sort of, forbidden to leave the house, though.”  
  
“I hope it’s all right I came by, but everyone’s been saying different things about how messed up you are and I wanted to see you for myself. I brought some video games, if you think you can play one handed,” Zach offered.  
  
“That’s cool, I’m glad you came by. I’m so bored,” he admitted.  
  
Zach smiled, relaxing. “Cool. Where’s Alex?”  
  
“Working. She said she talked to you the other night, whether you know it or not, you did me a favor,” Ryan said.  
  
“She’s really hot, dude,” Zach said. “But she’s also really into you and I didn’t want her to throw something good away just because you scared her getting hurt. You guys seem good together,” he shrugged.  
  
“Yeah. We are. What about you? I haven’t seen you with any chicks lately,” Ryan said. “But I haven’t been out lately.”  
  
“I am painfully single. But I plan on changing that eventually. Just haven’t found a chick hot enough yet,” Zach joked.  
  
“Give it time,” Ryan laughed.  
  
It took Ryan a little while to get used to the controller with only one hand, but after a few minutes, he was battling the aliens with Zach.  
  
It was nice not to have to think about being stuck in bed, or about where he wanted to live permanently or his dead mother or pregnant ex-girlfriend…it was nice to just hang out and goof off.  
  
“It’s awfully quiet in here,” Hailey said, coming in after about an hour.  
  
“Shh,” Ryan hushed her, trying to focus on the alien spaceship that they had to defeat to go on to the next level.  
  
She walked over and sat down on the bed behind them, nibbling from the tray of snacks she’d brought earlier and watching the TV.  
  
“Zach, this is my aunt Hailey,” Ryan said distractedly.  
  
“We met earlier when she brought me in,” Zach replied, just as distracted. “She’s really hot.”  
  
“She’s still here,” Hailey said, thumping him scoldingly. “But she appreciates,” she added.  
  
Once they conquered the spaceship, Zach paused the game so he could investigate the snacks Hailey was taunting them with.  
  
Ryan found himself really comfortable with Hailey, more comfortable than with Kirsten. But he had different kind of feelings bubbling up for Kirsten, too. She had been so upset when he was in the hospital but she hadn’t shown any sign of tears in the past couple of days. And she’d been really patient and caring with him. Like a real mother.  
  
But Hailey was more like a friend, almost like a sister. He knew she wouldn’t rat him out for having a good time if he wasn’t getting into trouble or being hurt. Like Trey had always done.  
  
He liked living with Caleb and Hailey.  
  
He knew that Kirsten and Sandy’s home would be nothing like Dawn and AJ’s, but it would be different from Caleb’s. Caleb didn’t pretend to be his parent. More like a jolly uncle or something. A grandfather.  
  
He shook off his thoughts and accepted the juice Hailey was pushing into his hand.  
  
“Why don’t you guys do something less strenuous,” Hailey said.  
  
“Less strenuous than video games?” Ryan questioned with a glare. He knew she just wanted him to lie down and not sit up for too long.  
  
“Ryan’s supposed to be on ‘bedrest’, meaning, lying down,” Hailey told Zach.  
  
“He didn’t tell me,” Zach frowned.  
  
“Hailey, I’m still on the bed and that totally counts,” Ryan protested.  
  
“Well, I’m going to Vegas in a couple of months and I need you to help me shine up my poker skills,” Hailey said.  
  
Ryan glared at her. She knew poker was his weakness. He could never turn down a game, even for invading aliens.  
  
“I’m a pretty good poker player,” Zach said, perking up.  
  
“I’ll get the cards and the practice chips,” Hailey nodded, getting up.  
  
Ryan slid back on the bed and relaxed against the mound of pillows they’d piled up for him earlier so he could sit up without hurting his back.  
  
“You seem okay,” Zach said.  
  
“I passed out yesterday and the stupid doctor says I have to rest,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Passing out is not cool,” Zach said.  
  
When Hailey returned, she had Alex with her. Ryan was glad to see her and told her with his welcome kiss.  
  
“Less smooching, more gambling,” Hailey interrupted after a few moments.  
  
\---------------------  
  
Alex closed the door when Zach left, locking it behind him and turning to face him.  
  
She’d been waiting to do this all day.  
  
It had been disappointing that he’d had company when she got there, but it seemed to have helped Ryan’s mood.  
  
She was about to help his mood a lot more.  
  
“What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes dark with suspicion.  
  
She walked over and put her hands on the bed before climbing on, spreading his legs apart while she crawled up the bed.  
  
“Alex…” he warned.  
  
“I’m not going to hurt you, but I have something I have to do,” she replied, pushing up his shirt slightly and kissing her way down to his waistline. She pulled his sweatpants down with her teeth and was pleased to find his body already responding to her.  
  
“Alex…” he started again, but it was more like a plea. Just what she wanted.  
  
She stroked him with her hands, raising herself up to kiss him on the mouth, hard as she quickened her pace.  
  
“I figure I can help you with this whole ‘sentenced to bedrest’ problem,” she said, breathless as she pulled away. His eyes were glazed with lust when she took him in her mouth.  
  
\---------------------  
  
  
"Ryan! Ryan, you have to help us," Kaitlyn said, rushing into his room.  
  
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked, putting his good arm around her when she climbed onto the bed and buried her face into his chest.  
  
"Mom got us a babysitter and she's the meanest girl in the whole world," Kaitlyn said.  
  
Marissa appeared, looking close to tears. "She's evil."  
  
"She can't be that bad," Ryan said. "Did she bring you here?"  
  
"She made us eat chick peas," Kaitlyn whispered.  
  
Marissa glanced over her shoulder and her face darkened as she got on the bed beside her sister. "She's coming!"  
  
A pretty teenage girl appeared, her hair pulled back in a prim bun. "Girls? Girls," she huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "You tricked me."  
  
Ryan smiled and studied his sisters, amused.  
  
"We told her we were giving her directions to the playground," Marissa admitted.  
  
"Can we stay with you instead?" Kaitlyn asked.  
  
"You have to ask your mom or dad and your babysitter," Ryan said after a moment. "I don't want you to get in trouble."  
  
"Are you some kind of child-molesting perv?" the girl asked.  
  
"He's our brother!" Marissa defended.  
  
"I'm Ryan, Jimmy Cooper's my dad," he explained, after a moment of hesitation. He'd never really said it out loud like that before. It was always going to be weird.  
  
"Oh. You're the kid everyone keeps talking about. Nice to meet you – are you, like, okay?" she asked.  
  
"Almost," Ryan replied before turning back to Kaitlyn and Marissa. "My phone's right there – call your mom and tell her you're here, okay? And if she says its okay, we can watch a movie or something."  
  
"Okay," the girls said, scrambling for the phone. Marissa won.  
  
"I'm Taylor. And I'm supposed to be watching your little sisters but they don't like me too much so far," she said sitting down.  
  
"Chick peas are gross," Kaitlyn pouted.  
  
Marissa closed his phone. "Mommy says we can stay as long as you don't get out of bed," she said.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. Bedrest sucked. "All right. Go pick out a movie and make sure it's rated G," he warned.  
  
The girls hurried over to bicker contentedly by the DVD shelf.  
  
"I thought you'd be disfigured or something the way that Sathers girl was talking," Taylor said.  
  
Ryan snorted. "She doesn't even know me."  
  
"She's a b-i-t-c-h," Taylor said.  
  
"We can spell," Kaitlyn chirped when Marissa giggled.  
  
Taylor flushed. "Is it okay we're here? They got out of the car before I could stop them."  
  
"It's cool. I'm kind of, housebound, so it's nice to have visitors," Ryan shrugged.  
  
She smiled brightly. "Okay, cool."  
  
"Can we watch this one?" Kaitlyn asked, holding out a DVD to Taylor.  
  
"Looks safe," Taylor approved.  
  
"Marissa, do me a favor and go downstairs and tell Rosa you're here and ask her – nicely – if she'll make us some popcorn or snacks for the movie," Ryan said.  
  
"I'll come, too," Kaitlyn said, scurrying after her sister.  
  
"Note for next time babysitting? No chick peas," Ryan told Taylor.  
  
"I'll try to remember that," Taylor smiled.  
  
\---------------------  
  
Ryan was asleep when Caleb stopped in after his trip to the office. He knew Jimmy's girls had been by so he was glad to find him resting.  
  
"Caleb?" Ryan asked, blinking at him warily. Caleb smiled to himself, he'd lingered too long and set off the kid's radar.  
  
"Hey. Just checking up on you," he replied, walking in fully and approaching his bedside.  
  
Ryan seemed slightly out of it and his eyes were clouded.  
  
"Ryan?"  
  
"I feel like crap...my head hurts so bad I want to throw up," Ryan said softly. "And my arm is killing me – it hasn't hurt this bad since it happened..."  
  
Caleb knew Ryan hadn't told Jimmy or Hailey that he wasn't feeling well. But he was telling him. He sat down and pulled out his phone. "I'll call the doctor, keep it low key and see what he says...just lie still and see if it helps your head."  
  
"I think I'm sick," Ryan said, his eyes closed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I...I feel like I'm sick," Ryan said.  
  
Caleb laid his hand across Ryan's forehead. He was warm. Too warm for someone that had been inside for two days. "All right." He dialed his friend's number and made sure that he was on his way before returning his attention to Ryan.  
  
"I'm going to get you some juice and let Rosa know the doctor's coming. Do you want me to call..."  
  
"No," he said before Caleb could finish. "I don't want them to catch what I have. If I have something."  
  
"Okay, hang tight."  
  
"Thanks. For not making a big deal." He added, "And juice."  
  
"I'll be right back." Caleb hurried downstairs and filled in Rosa before returning with juice.  
  
Ryan had barely moved but he'd covered his face with his arm.  
  
"Here, kid," Caleb said, opening a bottle of juice and passing it to him.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He drained the bottle and put his arm across his face again.  
  
"When did it start?" Caleb asked.  
  
"After the girls left. I got up, like, to wash my face and when I laid back down, I felt like I was going to puke...and it didn't go away," Ryan said.  
  
Rosa brought the doctor upstairs and Caleb settled close to make sure Ryan kept being honest about what he was feeling.  
  
\---------------------  
  
"More pills?" Ryan sighed after the doctor was finished examining him.  
  
"Would you prefer an injection of antibiotics?" the doctor offered.  
  
"Not in my butt," Ryan replied.  
  
The doctor cleaned a spot on his shoulder, sticking him with the needle without fuss. "Antibiotics, anti-nausea, can't have you throwing up, and a different cocktail of painkillers to keep you comfortable," the man said, filling another syringe.  
  
Caleb patted his knee to reassure him and Ryan was grateful for him for not freaking out and staying close.  
  
The next shot flooded Ryan's body with relief, the pain in his arm and head subsiding.  
  
"Better?" Caleb asked, letting worry leak into his voice for the first time.  
  
Ryan blinked. "Better," he said, puffing out the word.  
  
"Lots of fluids, keep a check on his temperature and give him Tylenol every four hours, I'll run through his meds with you."  
  
Things were hazy for several minutes until he registered Caleb leaning over him. "Are you hot?"  
  
"M'okay," he slurred.  
  
"Drink some more juice and I'll leave you alone," Caleb said.  
  
Ryan sipped the cold orange juice, barely able to keep his eyes open. He fell asleep with Caleb's palm gently laid across his forehead.  
  
\---------------------  
  
Hailey sat with Ryan for most of the night, having been schooled by Kirsten on the proper TLC for a fever via phone.  
  
Because of Seth's delicate immune system, Caleb had convinced Kirsten and Sandy to keep their distance until he got over the bug.  
  
They weren't happy about it but Hailey knew it was a weight off Ryan's mind.  
  
His fever finally broke sometime after midnight in a flurry of slurred rambling in his sleep.  
  
She'd wiped his face with a cool cloth and made sure he didn't jar his casted arm in his exhausted nightmares.  
  
She smiled at him when he blinked his glazed blue eyes at her around one o'clock. "Hey. You feel any better?"  
  
"Thirsty," he said, hoarse.  
  
She was ready with water, helping him hold it when his hand shook weakly. She held out several pills that he swallowed silently, frowning.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's really hot in here...I feel gross," he said.  
  
"Your fever's going down, sleep some more and you'll feel better," she said.  
  
"Can I change shirts? I'm really hot," he said, plucking at the sweaty t-shirt.  
  
She found a wife beater and helped him change over the bulky cast and changed the blanket for a thinner sheet.  
  
His eyes closed again and she resumed her vigil.  
  
\----------------  
  
Alex called the next day and he barely registered her voice through her sneezes into the phone.  
  
He still felt like shit.  
  
But instead of the heat, he was plagued with chills all morning and Rosa and Caleb forced him to drink hot tea and eat chicken soup to soothe his sore throat.  
  
He talked to Kirsten and Jimmy on the phone, insisting he was okay.  
  
He didn't tell them that he'd made a decision about where he wanted to stay.  
  
He needed a clearer head before he brought it up with either of them.  
  
But he did want to talk to Hailey, to try and gauge what to expect if he went forward with his initial decision.  
  
"All right, kid, I've got fresh movies for us to watch and hot soup for you, chips for me and juice all around," Hailey said.  
  
"Can I talk to you first? I need to run something past you," Ryan said.  
  
"Will I need a passport?" Hailey asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then I'm here for you," she smiled. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"I've been thinking about my housing situation," he said, turning onto his side. "And I need a fresh perspective."  
  
"Are you sure I'm not biased?"  
  
"I'm counting on it," Ryan replied.  
  
Hailey sighed dramatically. "Fine, I'll do my best."  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes and reached for the juice to soothe his throat.  
  
"Have you made a decision?"  
  
"I...I want to stay here. At least for a while," Ryan said. It was the first time he'd said it out loud. "It's not that I don't want to live with Kirsten or Jimmy – it's just still a little soon. I finally feel a little settled here, Caleb gives me my space and you let me have fun without lecturing me all the time...and I'm not as comfortable with them as I am here."  
  
"Sounds reasonable."  
  
"Does it? Do you think...do you think Kirsten and Sandy will understand? Because...maybe one day, I'll change my mind. When I start school...or when Seth gets better."  
  
"When you feel more comfortable," Hailey said.  
  
"Yeah. I want to spend more weekends there...or something," he hesitated.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mom...Dawn, I mean – she was never really...'motherly'. And only one of her boyfriends ever really tried to be a dad. Dad doesn't count. Me and Trey, we always took care of each other. Of ourselves," Ryan said. "I don't know what to expect from people trying to be 'real parents'."  
  
"What are you expecting?"  
  
"Kirsten and Sandy are great. But no more sneaking Alex in and curfews and...I don't know, rules?"  
  
"I don't think they're going to put a tracker on you," Hailey said. "Granted – my sister definitely knows how to lecture."  
  
"Seth...he needs his parents right now. I don't want him to feel like I'm taking their attention off him. Not right now," Ryan said.  
  
"Seems like you've thought about this a lot. What do you need me for?" Hailey asked.  
  
"How do you think Kirsten's going to take it?" Ryan asked.  
  
"She's going to be disappointed. Sandy and Jimmy, too. And your brother and sisters. But I think you've got a pretty good explanation for your decision. I think they'll understand."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. They'll do anything to keep you happy and safe. They aren't giving you an order – it's your choice because they want you to be happy with your decision."  
  
Ryan finished the juice, nodding. He felt better. About his decision, not health-wise. He was worn out from the slight conversation.  
  
"Can we watch a movie now and stop stressing out? Slide over, you have to eat soup," Hailey said, placing the tray across his lap before starting the movie.  
  
\----------------  
  
"He's been asleep most of the day, he's still exhausted. But I think this bug is the only reason we managed to keep him in bed the past few days," Caleb whispered to Kirsten.  
  
"I can hear you," Ryan mumbled, buried under his blankets.  
  
"Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better. But still not good," Ryan answered quietly. "But I'm glad you're both here."  
  
"Now I'm intrigued," she said, sitting down beside the bed.  
  
"I've made a decision," he started. "About where I want to live."  
  
She forced herself not to get her hopes up.  
  
"We're listening," Caleb said.  
  
"I think...i want to stick to the original plan. At least for a while. I want to stay here...spend some weekends with you and Jimmy and get to know you better. This all got dropped on me and I need a little time to easer into it...if that's okay."  
  
She smiled and patted the blankets over his shoulder. "Of course that's okay." It hurt, too, but she was so grateful to have any time with him at all. She couldn't push him. He'd gone through so much already and if he was happy living with her father then it was good enough. For now. "We want you happy and comfortable."  
  
"You're really not upset?" Ryan asked.  
  
"I promise," she said, smoothing his hair back. "But I'm going to hold you to those weekends as soon as you feel up to it."  
  
"Deal," he replied, visibly relaxing. He looked up at Caleb.  
  
"I'm happy to have you, kid, you'll always be welcome here," Caleb smiled, reading his question.  
  
"Thanks," Ryan said.  
  
"Get some rest, we'll bring you some dinner later," Kirsten said.  
  
"Okay," he replied, closing his eyes. She could see how exhausted he still was even after days of bedrest.  
  
Her father turned to face her in the hallway. "Are you okay with this?"  
  
"I'm just grateful that he's here, Dad, and that he's comfortable enough to tell us how he really feels. I meant what I said to him – I want him to be happy and right now, he's most comfortable here," Kirsten said.  
  
He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. "I like having him here for a lot of reasons – but one of those is because it means I get to see you and Hailey more."  
  
She smiled. Ryan had inadvertently brought the family closer than ever before and it was just another thing she was grateful for.  
  
It was only a few weeks ago that she thought she was losing Seth to leukemia and that her firstborn son was out of her life forever.  
  
She has a second chance at a lot of things.  
  
\---------  
  
  
  
  
“Hey,” Ryan said, looking up from the kitchen table when Caleb appeared. Once Ryan's bruises had started to fade, he'd settled back into Newport life.  
  
“Hey. Wow, that looks like a lot of work,” he remarked, looking at the schoolwork Ryan had spread across the table.  
  
“Yeah, Mark said I had to bunker down since I’ll start at Harbor in a couple of weeks. I finished the reading list already, now I just have to get through…the rest of this,” Ryan said. “And Jimmy wants to take me sailing this weekend down to Catalina and I want to try and finish as much as I can.”  
  
“Mind taking a break?” Caleb asked.  
  
“Am I in trouble?” Ryan asked, curious.  
  
“I don’t think so. Should you be?” Caleb replied, grinning.  
  
“I don’t think so. What’s up?”  
  
“Well, you got the cast off last week and even though you’re stuck with that sling for a while, until your PT’s all done, I have a surprise for you,” Caleb said.  
  
“I don’t like surprises,” Ryan replied.  
  
Caleb chuckled. “I know. But I think you’ll like this one. It’s a two-parter, so let’s get moving.”  
  
Ryan shrugged his jacket on before laying his weak arm in the sling and following Caleb to his Jag. “Can I have a clue?”  
  
“Your birthday’s next week,” Caleb said once he was inside.  
  
“Yeah, I know. Julie’s planned that big party and it’s going to suck,” Ryan said. But as much as he hated the Newpsie parties, it did get easier with time. The rich socialites seemed to have accepted him now and the whispers and gossip were more tolerable than at first.  
  
Caleb laughed. “It won’t be that bad, hopefully. But since Jimmy’s taking you sailing and Kirsten and Sandy have been shopping for weeks for you – I want to be sneaky and give you my present early.”  
  
Ryan still had trouble with the amount of stuff his new family felt like he ‘needed’. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to having money. He had his own bank account that drew off his ‘trust’ that Kirsten and Jimmy had set up for him that was apparently Newport’s version of an allowance.  
  
But in the weeks following his mother’s death, he couldn’t deny that he’d grown more comfortable around everyone. Especially Kirsten. He had been spending a few nights a week at her house. He’d stayed at Jimmy’s a few times, but Kaitlyn and Marissa had serious privacy issues and hadn’t given him a moment’s peace, busting into his room at all hours of the nights to ‘play with him’. He liked his siblings, but he liked his sleep, too.  
  
“Kirsten’s going to kill me for this, probably Jimmy, too, but everyone else has gotten you things before I could get them and I’m in charge of this,” Caleb announced, pulling the car onto Verdana Boulevard.  
  
Ryan realized where they were going and felt a rush of anticipation. “Are you buying me a car?”  
  
Caleb smiled. “Maybe. Unless you want a truck. Or maybe one of those SUV’s,” he added.  
  
“I can’t believe this. You’re just going to buy me a car?”  
  
“Kirsten and Hailey both got cars for their 16th birthday. Jimmy, too, if I recall correctly. But – if you get a ticket or wreck it – you don’t get a replacement, this is your car and you have to take care of it,” Caleb said.  
  
“I will so totally take care of it,” Ryan promised.  
  
Caleb gave him a pleased look. “I think this is the first time someone’s offered you something that you haven’t turned down right off the bat.”  
  
“I really want a car,” Ryan admitted. “I’d been saving money for years to have enough to get a car when I turned 16 so I could get out of Chino, get better jobs. Of course, that money always went toward other things, but it was always on my mind…I can’t believe you’re buying me a car. Do you want me to make payments?”  
  
Caleb shook his head. “This one is a gift. You get one freebie, all right? All you have to do is pick. I recommend the Jag,” he said, petting his console lovingly. “But it’s up to you.”  
  
“Not only do I get a car, I get a new car. I can’t wait to tell Trey,” Ryan whispered, unable to hide his smile. “That’s so awesome.”  
  
“That’s what I like to hear – now, where would you like to go first?” Caleb asked.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Caleb watched Ryan out of the corner of his eye as he drove to their next destination.  
  
He was so happy to have been able to make Ryan this excited. He’d been too eager at the thought of having a car to say he ‘didn’t deserve it’ like he usually did when they tried to give him things. It made Caleb feel great to be able to get this kid enthused about anything.  
  
“Where are we going now? Strip club?” Ryan asked, smirking.  
  
“Maybe for your 21st birthday, but that’s not it. We have to pick up someone,” Caleb said, not willing to let this secret out early.  
  
Ryan glanced at him. “Who?”  
  
“You’ll find out when we get there. And no, it’s not a hooker, if that was your next question.”  
  
Ryan laughed, something he’d been doing more of lately.  
  
Caleb took the turn into the construction site where the contractors were starting his latest development of condos outside of Newport.  
  
“What’s up with this, Caleb?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Just wait,” Caleb said, glancing at his watch. “He should be finished around four, so any time now.”  
  
Ryan was fidgeting in his seat, curious now. “Caleb…”  
  
“Ah, there he is,” Caleb said, recognizing Trey Atwood exiting the foreman’s trailer.  
  
“Trey? What is he doing here?” Ryan asked, confused.  
  
“Sandy told you that if he kept his nose clean he’d help him. He got him a better lawyer and because of his good behavior, he requested a transfer to the minimum security prison a few miles from here. They have work release for special cases and Trey met the criteria. He has to report back to the jail at six every night and he has to submit to random drug tests and surprise visits to the worksite,” Caleb said.  
  
Trey’s face had already broken out in a wide grin before he got to the car. Ryan quickly got out and Trey embraced him tightly, laughing.  
  
Caleb gave them a few minutes to get reacquainted before clearing his throat. Trey got into the backseat, nodding his thanks to Caleb.  
  
“How long have you known about this?” Ryan asked, buckling his seat belt but turning his head to look at Trey.  
  
“A while, but I’ve only been working for a week. Sandy wanted me to make sure I could handle it before telling you,” Trey replied.  
  
“You hate construction,” Ryan said.  
  
Trey laughed, looking at Caleb. “The kid worked construction a few years ago, we got the job at the same time – I didn’t make it through the first day and he kept the job all summer.” He turned back to Ryan. “It’s all right – I’d like to think I’ve grown up a little since then.”  
  
Ryan glared at him, disbelieving.  
  
Trey snorted. “It’s cool, Ry, I can do this – and it’s about time I learned a trade that doesn't involve running from cops.”  
  
Caleb hid his smile.  
  
Trey reached forward and cuffed Ryan on the back of the head teasingly. “The work doesn’t matter to me – it’s the lack of bars and handcuffs that I’m digging at the moment – don’t burst my bubble.”  
  
“Okay,” Ryan said. “But you can’t use money in jail, I thought…”  
  
“The money is put into an account so I’ll have access to it when I get out, it’ll help me get back on my feet when I’m looking for a place to stay,” Trey said.  
  
Ryan filed that piece of information away and Caleb could see it was bothering him.  
  
“And since you’re living out here in the rich part of town, I’ll have to have more of a deposit than if I was in Chino, you know? Sandy said he’d help me find somewhere close by – you’re not getting rid of me that easily, all right?” Trey asked.  
  
“Cool,” Ryan said. “Caleb bought me a car.”  
  
“What?” Trey asked, his eyes widening. “A car? You aren’t even old enough to drive yet!”  
  
Ryan grinned, turning in the seat again. “For my birthday. That way I can come see you more often and go to school without taking the bus.”  
  
Caleb pulled up to the prison. Trey looked at him in the rear view mirror. "You have no idea what you're getting into," he said, but his eyes were smiling.  
  
"Shut up, Trey, you're just jealous," Ryan said. "Can I walk you inside?"  
  
"Thanks, Mr. Nichols," Trey said, reaching up to shake his hand.  
  
Caleb watched the brothers from the car as Ryan walked Trey into the prison.  
  
As happy as Ryan was with the car, he could tell that his brother's relocation was going to be his favorite birthday gift.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Alex greeted Rosa when the lady let her into the house.  
  
It had been a bumpy couple of months, but she didn't regret any of it. Ryan was a great boyfriend and despite the age difference, they had both had a damn good time.  
  
But she'd changed. Seeing Ryan trying to move on with his life, seeing the way he dealt with his new family had made her take a long look at herself.  
  
She'd talked it over with Ryan and while he wasn't happy about her leaving Newport, he understood her reasons for going home.  
  
She was going to finish school. She was going to make amends with her family. And once she had her diploma and her parents' blessing this time, she was going to come back to Newport and see if Ryan had moved on yet.  
  
He said he'd wait for her, but she didn't want to ask him to make that promise.  
  
"Where is he?" Alex asked.  
  
"Out with Caleb, they should be back soon," Rosa said. "We're going to miss you around here."  
  
Alex smiled. "I'm going to miss you guys, too. I really wish I could be here for his birthday, but the classes I need start next week..."  
  
"I know he's proud of you for going back to school. Don't worry too much," Rosa smiled kindly.  
  
Ryan walked in then, smiling when he saw her. "Hey." He kissed her warmly and slipped his arm around her, leading her upstairs to his room. "When are you leaving?"  
  
"My car's all packed, apartment's cleaned out...I'm leaving as soon as I say goodbye to you," Alex replied.  
  
"We made a deal that this wouldn't be a sad goodbye," Ryan said, closing the door and kissing her again. "It's just a time-out."  
  
"Time out, right, I remember," Alex said, kissing him back.  
  
She was going to miss kissing him.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
"I have to be at the prison by nine, do I look all right?" Trey asked Sandy, stepping into the parking lot of the construction site. It was his first 'extended curfew' he'd been granted since his new placement at the work release prison.  
  
It was so much better than Chino. He didn't even mind the hard labor since he wasn't locked in a cage for those 8 hours. And he was making money that would help him start a 'clean' way of life when he got out.  
  
And since he hadn't gotten into any trouble since he started, and his boss and the warden were satisfied that he wasn't a flight risk, they'd given him permission to go to Ryan's birthday party.  
  
The kid was sixteen. It was a milestone that had turned out completely different than he'd envisioned.  
  
Ryan turning sixteen had been when Trey was going to take him out of his mother's house. It was when Ryan was going to file for emancipation. It was when Ryan was going to drop out of school and get a legit job.  
  
But thanks to Trey's arrest and his mother's general ineptitude – Ryan wasn't going to have to do any of that.  
  
His kid brother was finally being taken care of the way he deserved.  
  
Trey had never believed the whole adoption story, but he'd always known deep down that Ryan wasn't an Atwood. He was too smart, too 'good' to have genes from Trey's parents.  
  
"You look fine, Trey. It's casual tonight. Julie's throwing a fancy party for him tomorrow but tonight's the party that's actually something Ryan will enjoy," Sandy said, signing the guard's logbook before patting him on the back.  
  
"Who's going to be there? I still don't have everyone's names down," Trey admitted, climbing into the shiny car.  
  
"Well, Kirsten and Hailey, Caleb and whoever he decides to show up with...some friends of Ryan, and then Jimmy and Julie, of course..."  
  
"No mention of porn – got it," Trey laughed, catching Sandy's raised eyebrow.  
  
"Please, and the kids, they'll be there," Sandy added. "They'll probably have some friends with them, Ryan's got a little 'groupie following' among the ten year old crowd."  
  
"That's oddly creepy, but not unexpected. Ry's always been good with kids. He's got crazy patience," Trey replied.  
  
"Thursday night is usually our poker night," Sandy said.  
  
"Wait – you play poker with Ryan?" Trey asked.  
  
"We don't play with real cash, we learned our lesson," Sandy laughed. "And we're getting better. But all the men get together at Caleb's on Thursdays to shoot pool and have a night away from the wives."  
  
"That's so cool, he started his own little family tradition," Trey replied, impressed.  
  
"Can you beat him at poker?" Sandy asked.  
  
Trey grinned. "I taught him, but I haven't been able to beat him in a few years. I have gotten better in the joint, though."  
  
"Caleb and Jimmy have a wager going, they want you to take him down," Sandy said seriously. "So, there might be a game started up, if you're up for it."  
  
Trey laughed. "We'll see. A lot of my poker games end in fistfights, and I don't want to ruin Ryan's 16th birthday party."  
  
"Did you know that Caleb bought him a car?"  
  
"Oh yeah, it's all Ryan's been talking about. He's a good driver, though, I'm sure he'll be fine," Trey said.  
  
"Here we are," Sandy said, pulling into a paved driveway.  
  
"Who's place is this?" Trey asked, noticing the smaller mansion.  
  
"This is Kirsten's house, my house. Ryan's been staying with us a lot more lately. When he starts school, he'll be here more full time. Jimmy's house is over there," Sandy pointed to the neighboring house.  
  
"So...you don't mind living next door to your wife's ex?" Trey asked.  
  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm not threatened by Jimmy," Sandy said.  
  
"Hey, Dad, look!"  
  
Trey smiled when the skinny curly-haired child nearly knocked Sandy Cohen down in his excitement.  
  
"Trey, this is my son, Seth," Sandy introduced, crouching down to take the box Seth was holding out from him.  
  
"Trey? You're Ryan's brother," Seth said, his brown eyes flashing with enthusiasm. Trey shook his extended hand, amused at the boy's formality. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"Likewise," Seth replied politely before turning back to his dad. "Look – Aunt Hailey helped me wrap it."  
  
"What is it?" Sandy asked, studying the shiny box.  
  
"Video games for Ryan's PSP, Hailey bought him one," Seth replied, snatching the gift back. "I have to put it on the table so he can see that I got him something."  
  
Trey laughed as the kid scurried off. "He seems pretty healthy," Trey said.  
  
"He's doing a lot better, no sign of the cancer and he's all done with his treatments," Sandy said. "Come on in, Trey, I'll give you the tour later, but let's get you with Ryan first so he'll know I wasn't late getting you. He can't wait to see you."  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan stepped away from the edge of the pool where Seth and the other assorted younger kids were splashing happily. Marissa's tiny best friend, Summer was there and Seth was lovestruck. Ryan liked watching his little half-brother having his first crush.  
  
He wished Alex could be here to see it, she'd be jealous that Seth was rebounding from his crush on her so soon.  
  
He glanced over and saw that Caleb had just gotten here with his date, Renee. Ryan liked her, even if he wasn't sure why Caleb was hesitating on introducing her to Kirsten and Hailey. He'd found out that she used to be a secretary for him at the Newport Group years earlier before she'd left to have her daughter.  
  
Caleb really seemed to like her and he was glad that he'd finally gotten the balls to bring her to a 'family' thing. It helped that Ryan had invited her personally.  
  
He glanced over to make sure Trey was still entertained, sitting with Jimmy and Hailey near the barbecue before going over to Caleb. "Hey, guys."  
  
"Did we miss the cake? Happy birthday, Ryan," Renee said, giving him a hug.  
  
"No cake yet," Ryan said. "I think they're waiting until the kids are gone, so they won't see the lady jump out of it," he joked.  
  
"Who ruined the surprise?" Caleb smiled.  
  
"I hope you don't mind, Ryan, but I brought along my daughter," Renee said, motioning behind her.  
  
"Lindsay, right?" Ryan asked, remembering her name from Renee's stories. "Nice to meet you."  
  
The red-haired girl smiled. "You, too. Happy birthday."  
  
"Thanks. I hear you're starting Harbor the same time I am," Ryan said as Caleb led Renee over to Sandy and Kirsten who were watching over the pool.  
  
"Yeah, I'm really worried, though. Did you see that reading list?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"I've been working on that for weeks," Ryan admitted. He waved over Zach who was looking around from the kitchen doorway. "This is Zach, he's going to be my escort when I face the snobby Harbor kids. Zach, this is Lindsay."  
  
Ryan glanced between the two as they looked over each other. Lindsay reached up and touched Zach's hair, captivated. Zach smiled, flashing his teeth.  
  
He missed Alex.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Hailey watched Ryan and Trey fondling Ryan's new car, peering into the engine and speaking 'auto mechanics' like surgeons firing back medical terms as they studied a patient.  
  
Lindsay, her father's new girlfriend's daughter seemed to be more interested in Zach than the car and Hailey couldn't help but be distracted by Trey's tanned arms and lazy grin.  
  
She liked him. And she didn't even think it was because she liked slumming sometimes, she liked him.  
  
She'd heard Ryan flirt with ease and she'd learned right away that Trey was the teacher to Ryan's pupil. They'd fallen into a banter right away and Hailey had gone way too long without a man that could match her snark for snark.  
  
He was off limits. He wasn't related to her – but he was sort of related to Ryan and she really cared about her nephew.  
  
Trey cared about him, too, though. He'd taken care of Ryan and still treated him like he was family. He was Trey's family.  
  
God, Hailey was thinking way too hard.  
  
He might be off limits, but it didn't mean she couldn't fuck him. He'd been locked up for a few months, he had to need a good fuck.  
  
She shook off the thought and glanced back over where Trey and Ryan had gone quiet, their heads close together, talking softly.  
  
"You guys break something?" she called, walking over to them.  
  
Ryan glanced at her, silently slipping his arm back into his sling when she glared at him.  
  
"What's up?" she asked.  
  
"Trey wants to drive my car," Ryan said, glancing around before plucking the cigarette from behind Trey's ear and lighting it.  
  
"He won't let me because I don't have a license and he won't even drive me around the block because he hasn't gotten his yet," Trey replied.  
  
It was a lie, she could tell that right away, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what they were talking about.  
  
"I just want to see how it rides," Trey said, looking at Ryan.  
  
Ryan glared at him.  
  
"I promise not to hurt it," Trey added.  
  
Ryan sighed, turning to Hailey. "It's eight o'clock, he's got to be back at the jail by nine. You want to drive him around and then drop him off?" he asked, holding out his keys to her.  
  
"Oh," Hailey said, understanding. She took the keys.  
  
Ryan slapped Trey on the chest and she barely caught the quick motion as Trey reached up to grab the small square package his brother had passed to him. "Not in my car."  
  
"Okay, whatever," Trey muttered.  
  
"Or on my car!" Ryan hissed after him as Trey ignored him, going to the passenger side. He caught Hailey's eyes.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered, kissing his cheek.  
  
"I'm not endorsing anything – he says you want to fuck him," Ryan whispered.  
  
Hailey raised an eyebrow. He raised his in mimic. "Maybe I do."  
  
"Just be careful. I can't make your decisions for you, or Trey's stupid ass, just...be careful," Ryan said quietly, holding up his hands in mock surrender and going over to join Lindsay and Zach.  
  
Hailey climbed into the driver's seat of Ryan's new car, appreciating the new car smell.  
  
"What did Ryan say? Did he salt my game?" Trey asked, smiling at her.  
  
"He just forgets who the adults are in the relationship sometimes," Hailey replied.  
  
Trey laughed.  
  
"We can't christen his car, though, there's a motel we can go to – if you realize that this is just a pure one-afternoon stand," Hailey said.  
  
"Absolutely," Trey nodded. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford one like you – but I would love to have a one-afternoon stand with you," he said.  
  
"Cool, let's go," Hailey said.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Kirsten approached her father in the kitchen while everyone was eating on the patio. "Hey, Dad. How long have you been seeing Renee?"  
  
He choked slightly on his drink but recovered. "A few weeks."  
  
"Ryan seems to know her, he's not surprised to see her here."  
  
"I was worried how you and Hailey would react."  
  
"I don't think Hailey ever knew you cheated on Mom with her," Kirsten said bluntly. "It must've been...what, sixteen years ago?"  
  
"It was," Caleb replied, looking out the window. "She was married, too. She was going to leave him...but you told us you were pregnant and there was no way I could leave your mother...I couldn't leave you right then."  
  
That was a surprise. "You were going to leave Mom?"  
  
"Your mother was an ice queen, Kirsten," her father said quietly. "Not always – not at first...but Newport changed her. I made mistakes, maybe I drove her away, but our marriage turned into a contract somewhere along the way. I loved Renee. But I left her..."  
  
"Is Lindsay my sister?" Kirsten asked quietly.  
  
"No, she's not. We did a test when she was little, after she'd told her husband about us," Caleb replied. "They're divorced now."  
  
"She's a lot younger than you," Kirsten said.  
  
"Kiki?" he asked, looking at her.  
  
"Sometimes the timing's not right. Maybe it's time for you to be able to move on, and her too, when it wasn't time before. I wish you luck," Kirsten said, patting his hand.  
  
"Thank you," he said.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Ryan said goodnight to Taylor and watched her drive away before sitting down on the front porch to look at his new car that had been returned intact and with lack of 'sex odor', thank god, by Hailey earlier.  
  
It had been a nice day. A surprising day all around. He'd gotten more expensive gifts – a fucking car – and no one had gotten into a fight or kicked his ass.  
  
It was the best birthday he'd ever had.  
  
He was supposed to call Alex, so he went back inside and told Kirsten that he was going down to the beach to make his phone call.  
  
She gave him a hug and told him to call if he'd be late, and she appreciated the give and take relationship they'd developed. He trusted her.  
  
The nights that he'd spent here had gone easier than he'd expected. He liked having breakfast with Sandy, Kirsten and Seth. It was different than Caleb's, but it was equally nice and comfortable.  
  
And since Renee was staying over more, he wanted to give Caleb his privacy. Kirsten and Jimmy's house was closer to Harbor and he wanted the extra few minutes of sleep the proximity would give him.  
  
He liked spending time with Kirsten. When he would go out, she would tell him if his shirt was buttoned wrong and give him Tylenol when his head hurt. She listened to him when he talked. He'd never had any of that with Dawn.  
  
Once he got down to the beach, he sat down where the breeze wasn't so strong and dialed Alex's number.  
  
Her voicemail picked up and he left Alex a message to call him tomorrow.  
  
They'd been playing phone tag.  
  
He missed her. Even though they were both allowed to date other people, it didn't mean he couldn't miss her.  
  
He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, looking out at the surf.  
  
He wondered if another girl would just come walking up to him on the beach like Alex.  
  
But he knew that he wasn't going to find a replacement for her that easily.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Jimmy went over to Kirsten's while his girls were getting ready for school so he could see Ryan before he had his first day at Harbor.  
  
The past few weeks had been like a dream and he was confident that Ryan was going to eventually be able to call him 'Dad' no matter how long it took.  
  
The weekend sailing trip had been fun for both of them and Ryan had driven his new car to the office a couple of times to have lunch.  
  
Jimmy knew the kid was lonely without Alex, but he was proud of the way Ryan had been able to make such a grown up decision to let his girlfriend go home in order to make a better life for herself even though it left him single.  
  
He'd learned that Ryan didn't take being single very well. He was keeping busy to hide his heartbreak and Jimmy was hoping that Harbor would help him meet some more girls, girls his own age.  
  
"Hey, kid," Jimmy greeted him in the kitchen. Sandy waved a bagel at him, his mouth full at the table. "I'm good, Sandy, thanks."  
  
"Hey. No, I'm not nervous, yes, I'll be fine," Ryan said, rolling his eyes, good naturedly. "Hailey's called and Caleb just left – you guys are going to give me an anxiety disorder or something."  
  
Jimmy laughed. "I just wanted to see you on your first day of school."  
  
"I'm not going to kindergarten," Ryan smirked. "But thanks."  
  
"You let me know how it goes, okay?" Jimmy asked.  
  
Ryan nodded. "I will. I'll be staying here now," he added. "For a while."  
  
Jimmy knew that they'd been talking about it and he was glad to hear Ryan say it. With Alex gone, Ryan had settled into Kirsten and Sandy's home in a different way. He was still close with Caleb and Hailey, but he had started to let Kirsten take a motherly role with him.  
  
Julie and Ryan got along well enough, but Sandy and Ryan had a tangible father-son dynamic going on.  
  
And as much as Jimmy envied it, it was more than he could offer Ryan right now. Ryan didn't fit in as well at his home, with the girls and Julie, but he filled a vacancy at Sandy's.  
  
But Ryan spent time with Jimmy, too, and they were alike in so many ways that Jimmy could deal with it. Ryan was his son.  
  
He'd make sure he didn't forget it, he'd be there for him whenever he needed him.  
  
He could share him if it meant he still got to have him in his life.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
"So, I heard you went out with Zach the other night," Ryan said, pulling away from Lindsay's house on the way to school. She'd enrolled too late to get a parking space and was on a waiting list so he'd offered to drive her. In his new car.  
  
"What did he say?" she asked, her green eyes twinkling with curiosity. "Did he have fun?"  
  
"Did you have fun?" Ryan replied, smiling.  
  
"Yes...maybe..." she hedged.  
  
"He said he really likes you," Ryan admitted. "But don't tell him I told you," he added.  
  
"All right. I like him, too," she said. "I'm so nervous."  
  
"It's just school."  
  
"Private school. And in case you didn't notice, I live in the numbered streets, that's like, the Valley," Lindsay said.  
  
"You think it's going to be bad?" Ryan asked, pulling up to the school. Lindsay was nearly hyperventilating and he regretted his question immediately.  
  
"God, I hope not," she said.  
  
"Don't worry, you'll be fine, we'll be fine," Ryan said, finding his space and parking. He turned to her. "Zach's going to show us around, and Taylor's here, somewhere, she's going to meet me for lunch," Ryan said.  
  
"Taylor's cool," Lindsay nodded, her breathing slowing.  
  
"Let's get some coffee – you get decaf and wait for Zach," Ryan said, grabbing his bag and getting out of the car.  
  
Zach was waiting for them in the cushy lounge and Lindsay relaxed after a few well placed jokes and Ryan was relieved to have a friend.  
  
But the levity was short-lived when he got to his first class and found himself seated at a lab table with Jess Sathers.  
  
He prayed that the teacher would assign seats and he wondered why the bitchy girl was sitting by herself in the first place when the girls he'd seen her with before were clustered at a table in the front.  
  
But instead the teacher decided to do one of those bullshit 'get to know your partner and discuss the syllabus' exercises where they had to quiz the person they were sitting with.  
  
He looked at her full on for the first time and noticed that she was different than when he'd last seen her. Ragged.  
  
Something had definitely changed for Jess Sathers.  
  
"You want to do this?" he asked, waving the worksheet.  
  
She was wearing dark eyeliner and her red hair was hanging in her eyes. "Whatever."  
  
"You're a pathetic Goth. What the hell happened to you?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Like you haven't heard," Jess snorted.  
  
"I don't listen to gossip," Ryan replied. He hadn't heard anything, but he hadn't asked about her either.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Ryan shrugged, not caring enough to question her any further and began to fill out the worksheet on his own.  
  
She was looking at him through her stringy bangs. Watching him.  
  
"I fucked my stepbrother and some of his friends taped it and put it online. My mom took away my credit cards and my car and all my friends think I'm a whore," Jess said suddenly, still staring at him.  
  
He forced himself not to react. "That sucks for you," he said, not looking at her.  
  
"Do you think I'm a whore?"  
  
"Did your stepbrother pay you for it?" Ryan replied evenly, looking at her.  
  
She seemed stunned, but a smile flickered on her dark red lips.  
  
"Not even sluts dress like that," Ryan added, motioning to her black jeans and jacket with his pencil.  
  
"Shut up," she snorted, picking up the worksheet for the first time. "Are you smart?"  
  
"I'm not doing the projects for you," Ryan replied.  
  
"I was just asking," she said.  
  
"I thought you knew all about me," Ryan said.  
  
"I thought I knew a lot of things," Jess whispered. "I'll do the bottom five, you do the top."  
  
"Deal," Ryan said.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
  
  
Taylor smiled brightly when Ryan sat down with her in the lounge at lunch. She’d never really fit in at Harbor despite having gone to school with her classmates for her whole life. She’d never been accepted into any of the cliques and ended up on the fringes of friendship and a wallflower for life.  
  
But Ryan was sitting with her. He was the boy everyone was talking about. Son of Kirsten Cohen and Jimmy Cooper. Almost killed by a crazy man in Caleb Nichol’s mansion. He was an enigma.  
  
And he was sitting with her.  
  
“Hey,” he said, sitting down and unscrewing the cap on his soda. “How’s your day?”  
  
“Much better now,” Taylor replied. “Today’s your first day, though, how are you handling it?”  
  
Ryan shrugged. “It’s school, I guess. Luckily, my tutor has me up to date – otherwise I’d be S.O.L.”  
  
“SOL?” she questioned.  
  
“Shit out of luck,” Ryan grinned. “Lindsay and Zach are supposed to meet us, somewhere.”  
  
“I’ll keep my eyes open. Are they going out now?” Taylor asked.  
  
Ryan shrugged again. “Sort of, I think. They make a cute couple,” he said.  
  
“Yeah. What about you? I know you’re still brooding about Alex, but have you seen anyone you like yet?” Taylor asked.  
  
“Jess Sathers is my lab partner in 1st period,” Ryan replied, avoiding her question. She hoped he wasn't  
  
“Ouch. Did you ask the teacher to move you?”  
  
Ryan shrugged. "She's...different. Like, she wasn't sitting with her friends and she's dressed all 'goth," he said.  
  
That was a surprise. "You mean the bitch queen's been dethroned?" Taylor whispered.  
  
"Seems so. It wasn't actually that bad. And that's almost scary," Ryan said.  
  
Taylor waved Zach and Lindsay over when she spotted them.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
"So, how was it?" Sandy asked, smiling when Ryan walked in and dropped his backpack beside his stool.  
  
"It's, like, a school full of Newpsies in training. But it's okay, no worse than my last school. Less fistfights, but it's only the first day," Ryan joked.  
  
"We'd like to keep the fistfights to a minimum," Sandy chuckled.  
  
"So...you think you'll like Harbor?"  
  
"It's school, Sandy. I'm not supposed to like it. I mean, there's a coffee shop and they served quiche for lunch. School lunch!" Ryan said, mystified. "And the desks, they're huge. It's nothing like I imagined, but I'm not sure what I think about it."  
  
"It's a whole new world, that's for sure. Newport isn't like any other place on earth. I've lived here for years and I still haven't made my mind up about it," Sandy admitted.  
  
"I've got some classes with Taylor, Lindsay and Zach. Not all together, but they made it easier."  
  
"Anybody give you a hard time?" Sandy asked.  
  
"Not really. It was remarkably painless. The calm before the storm, you think?" Ryan asked, chewing his bottom lip.  
  
"I don't think so. You've been around a while, the gossip's probably moved on to more interesting stuff since you're here to stay," Sandy replied. "I'm glad you made it through intact."  
  
"Thanks. It's awfully quiet, where's Seth?"  
  
"Taking a nap. I think he talked himself unconscious," Sandy answered. "He was on a team with Summer today."  
  
"Oh no, did he explode?" Ryan smiled.  
  
"She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He's very proud of the fact that he didn't faint," Sandy said. "I'm sure he'll tell you all about it at dinner."  
  
Ryan grabbed his backpack and a soda and told Sandy that he was going to do his homework before Seth got up. Kirsten walked in a few minutes after he'd left.  
  
"Did you see Ryan?"  
  
"Yeah, he's going to do some homework while Seth's napping," Sandy said, kissing her. "Says he made it through unscathed."  
  
"I'm so glad. I mean, it's school, it's not like he's going to come home doing cartwheels."  
  
"What do you think it would take to make either of the boys come home doing cartwheels?" Sandy teased.  
  
"You know what I mean," she said, slapping him, playfully.  
  
Kirsten seemed to have come back to life once Ryan moved in. She glowed with vitality like he'd never seen before. He'd fallen in love with her in college, but she'd lost some of her shimmer once they'd moved to Newport to be with her dying mother. Now that the story of Ryan's adoption had come to light, Sandy could see how the tension had affected Kirsten over time and only now was the veil lifting.  
  
But now that Ryan was here, that everything was out in the open – Kirsten was, sort of, reborn. She had new purpose to her life, she had her first son back and her second son healthy.  
  
Ryan really had been a godsend to his family.  
  
"Maybe we should go take a nap," Kirsten said, running her fingers down his arm.  
  
"The kids are home," he whispered, feigning offense.  
  
"We'll have to be stealthy," she whispered, kissing him.  
  
"I can do stealth," Sandy said, taking her hand and tiptoeing with her down the hall to their room.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
Kirsten kissed Seth's cheek and released him, smiling as he scurried out of the door with Marissa.  
  
Ryan had brought her family together with Jimmy's in a way she hadn't expected.  
  
Marissa, Kaitlyn and Seth had decided amongst themselves that they were family by default. Marissa especially had warmed up to Seth once his hair had grown back. Kirsten thought that Seth's illness may have been scary to her when Jimmy had brought her to visit him when he was hospitalized, but now that he was in remission, she'd taken him under her wing. Julie had even confided that Marissa had refused a couple of party invitations because her friends hadn't invited Seth. And Kaitlyn had become much less troublesome now that she had Seth and Marissa to play with.  
  
It had also given her more alone time with Sandy. Ryan would escort Seth over to Jimmy's for 'playdates' with his sisters and he'd bring him home, after a 'check-in' phone call if he'd gone out, to see if he should pick up Seth. And Julie had mentioned that she'd been enjoying the same perks when the girls would spend time at her house. Being neighbors with Jimmy and Julie was finally a good thing.  
  
It was like her family had gotten much bigger than plus one.  
  
Ryan was going out tonight. A girl was picking him up.  
  
It was time for her to sit down and have 'the talk' with him.  
  
They had decided not to shove rules down his throat when he finally made the transition to live with them full time. Ryan had been responsible and trustworthy at Caleb's without being instructed and the nights he'd spent with them, adjusting, he'd always been home by 11 and he hadn't come home drunk or beat up. But she still felt like they needed to talk about some ground rules.  
  
She found him sitting in the kitchen, chewing on his pencil and musing over a book.  
  
She loved how he studied in the kitchen. Comfortable. He'd made himself at home. And instead of sequestering himself in his bedroom, he chose to sit in the kitchen, unhindered by the family's movement around him.  
  
She didn't know how she'd even lived without him.  
  
"I thought you'd be getting ready for your date," she said, sitting down across from him.  
  
"It's not a date," Ryan sighed, glaring at her.  
  
"All right," she smiled. "But can we talk...seriously for a moment?"  
  
"Yeah," Ryan said. "What's up?"  
  
"Even though you're not going on a date tonight, I think she should go ahead and discuss some basic rules, so when you do start dating," she said.  
  
"I'm listening," he replied, meeting her eyes with trepidation.  
  
"Don't worry," she said. "You haven't done anything to make me not trust you, these aren't because you've gotten in trouble. I'd like you home by eleven on school nights and one on the weekend," she said.  
  
"One?" Ryan asked, surprised. Caleb had enforced 12 on every night.  
  
"Since we're shortening your weeknight curfew, we trust you to...behave."  
  
Ryan smiled at her choice of words. "All right."  
  
"And...I know that you're not...inexperienced in the bedroom, but...you're 16. And I can't give you free rein. I want you to be in a committed relationship before having sex. I want you to use protection..."  
  
"I do, I swear," Ryan said, uncomfortable.  
  
"I know it seems like a stupid thing for me to enforce considering my history, but I still need to make it clear that I don't want you having sex until you find someone...someone you plan on being with for a long time." She took a deep breath. "But I also know you'll probably end up doing it anyway. But I want you to know you can come to me. Or your father, or Sandy, if you need...anything. Like condoms or STD questions..."  
  
"Okay – I get it," he said, embarrassed, but visibly listening.  
  
"And it's kind of the same thing with drinking and...partying. I don't approve but if you're too drunk to drive – you call us."  
  
"Okay," Ryan said, nodding.  
  
"Seth's just a kid and he idolizes you," Kirsten added.  
  
"I understand. Don't do anything that I wouldn't want him doing when he's 16. No casual sex, no drugs or hard drinking... in front of him." Ryan said.  
  
She cleared her throat.  
  
"I'm joking," he smiled. "I think I can deal with that. What else?"  
  
"Ryan, you've done everything we've asked of you. You're in school, you're healthy, you haven't done anything but prove yourself to be an amazing, responsible young man." She patted his hand. "You're not a child anymore, as much as I might want you to be. So I can't treat you like one. But you're not an adult yet either and it's still my job to look out for you. I trust you to make smart decisions and as long as you keep doing that, I'll respect your choices."  
  
Ryan seemed surprised, but pleased, too. "Okay. I better go get ready. Thanks for spelling everything out, it makes me feel better to know my boundaries." He got up, gathering his books and dishes.  
  
"Call if you're going to be late and be careful," she called.  
  
"I will," Ryan said. And he smiled again.  
  
She felt like she'd actually managed to accomplish something. He hadn't balked at her rules or expectations, and she'd taken the initiative to talk to him as a parent. She hadn't even let Sandy coach her.  
  
This was progress.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryan sipped from his soda and tried not to let his eyes glaze over as Taylor's new crush rambled on about some surfing championship.  
  
He seemed like a nice enough kid, skinny and laid back. He wasn't exactly the kind of boy he'd have matched up with her, though, but Taylor had unique tastes. Ryan liked him just because his clothes weren't designer and he wasn't self-conscious about it even though he was at a 'rich kid's party'. Ryan was wearing designer clothes now, but he knew he wouldn't have been as comfortable as Johnny was if he'd come in his Chino clothes.  
  
There was a smoking hot brunette across the room that looked more bored than he did. He smiled at her when he caught her looking at him.  
  
She smiled back. And winked.  
  
"Ryan, I'm going to get Taylor another drink, do you want anything?" Johnny offered.  
  
"I'm good, thanks," Ryan said.  
  
"What do you think?" Taylor asked him as soon as Johnny was out of sight.  
  
"About what?" Ryan asked, distracted by the pretty girl.  
  
"Johnny," she said, nudging him, annoyed. "Focus, Atwood."  
  
"He's nice. Cool guy," Ryan said, giving her his full attention. "He seems really into you."  
  
"Yeah?" Taylor asked, smiling.  
  
Ryan's gaze drifted back over to the girl and Taylor followed his eyeline.  
  
"That' s Johnny's cousin, she drove him here, he doesn't have a car," Taylor said, waving the girl over before Ryan could say anything. "Why are you hiding all the way over there?"  
  
"Johnny wanted to spend some time with you, he asked me to give him 'space'," the girl smiled.  
  
Ryan's stomach fluttered from the flash of her teeth. Damn. He had to play cool. "The curse of a being a wingman, right?"  
  
She laughed. "Yeah, something like that." Her eyes were dark chocolate and Ryan felt like the rest of the people in the room disappeared when they locked gazes.  
  
"Sadie, this is my friend, Ryan," Taylor introduced. "He's my wingman, tonight."  
  
He reached out and took her hand to shake it. "Very nice to meet you."  
  
"Very," she smiled.  
  
Johnny returned, his eyes lighting up with surprise when he saw Sadie and Ryan looking at each other. "Hey, Sadie."  
  
"Oh my god, this girl just threw up on the grill," Lindsay announced, rushing up to them. Zach followed, slightly green.  
  
"That's disgusting," Zach said after a moment. "You guys want to get out of here?"  
  
"Where? It's after ten," Taylor said.  
  
Nobody spoke for a moment but it was clear they were all thinking. Well, Ryan was thinking about Sadie's lips, but he was still thinking.  
  
"We could go down to the pier," Zach suggested.  
  
"The beach," Ryan said, shaking off his dirty thoughts and looking at his friend. "My family has a private beach, we can chill there. I've got some blankets in my car..."  
  
"I've got a small radio," Lindsay shrugged.  
  
"We'll pick up some sodas," Taylor said, taking Johnny's arm decisively. "And meet you there."  
  
"She's my ride," Ryan said, surprised that she'd just walked away.  
  
"I'll drive you," Sadie offered. "I'm Johnny's ride."  
  
This was turning out to be a good night after all.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------  
  
Sadie came up for air when Ryan's cell phone started ringing against her hip. He was a damned good kisser.  
  
"Sorry," he said huskily, opening the phone. "Yeah? Seth? Why aren't you in bed?"  
  
Sadie smiled, recognizing his little brother's name. He'd told her about being adopted and then being re-adopted, and she almost hadn't believed it, but it was too convoluted to be made up.  
  
"No, I don't think the aliens will get you...I promise I'll call you if I see any spaceships on my way home, go to sleep...I'll keep my eyes open and you'll be the first person I call...okay, after the police..." Ryan smiled into the phone. "Good night."  
  
"He have a bad dream?" Sadie asked.  
  
"Watched a movie about aliens and now he's all freaked out," Ryan admitted. "Sorry about the interruption."  
  
"It's cool, I needed a break," she said, taking his hand.  
  
Zach and Lindsay had gone for a walk and Johnny and Taylor were making out in Taylor's car at last check.  
  
But she was having fun sitting on the beach. Making out on the beach.  
  
"So, Sadie. Are you...seeing anybody?" Ryan asked quietly.  
  
"No, I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago. Johnny's been on my ass to start dating again, but I haven't met anyone that sparked my attention...until tonight. What about you?" That was seriously unsmooth.  
  
"I was seeing a girl for a few months but she moved back to Nevada. I haven't found anyone worth the energy of dating...until tonight. If you want," Ryan added.  
  
"I could go for some dating," Sadie smiled.  
  
"How about tomorrow night? Say...seven? I'll buy you dinner," Ryan said.  
  
"That sounds nice."  
  
He gave her a mischievous look. "Mind if I practice my goodnight kiss a little more?"  
  
"Yeah, you better practice a little longer before the first official date," Sadie smiled, leaning toward him.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
Hailey knocked on Ryan's half-open door and smiled when she saw him studying his jeans and t-shirt in the mirror. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I have a date," Ryan said, meeting her gaze in the mirror.  
  
"Didn't you have a date last night?" she asked, sitting down on his bed  
  
"Last night was not a date. Taylor wanted me to meet her new boyfriend, that's why she picked me up. But I met a girl at the party we went to," Ryan replied.  
  
"Cool. Where are you guys going?"  
  
"I'm taking her out to eat, I'm thinking that Italian place where you don't have to dress up to get into," Ryan said.  
  
"What if she dresses up?" Hailey asked.  
  
"I told her it was 'casual'. Casual equals jeans," Ryan said.  
  
"Boys," Hailey scoffed, amused.  
  
"Did you know Trey got his request for next weekend denied?" Ryan asked, rummaging through a drawer to make it seem like he wasn't dropping a major anvil on her.  
  
"Why are you telling me?" she asked innocently.  
  
"You want to know why?" he replied.  
  
She shrugged, wondering where this was heading. Couldn't be a good place. .  
  
"He was late getting back after work three days in a row last week. They just happened to be the days you picked him up for me. The days that you specifically asked me to let you do it."  
  
"Ryan, it was just a few minutes..."  
  
He crossed his arms in front of him, turning around to face her. He was seriously pissed. "Trey has a good deal right now, but he can't fuck it up – if he fucks it up he goes back to jail, back to the jail where people get killed, get raped and fucked up and I won't be able to see him and he'll be surrounded by people that will get him into trouble. I want my brother back, I want him safe and free. I know you don't mean any harm, and I’m never going to get in the way of my big brother getting laid, but if it comes down to pissing you off or having him sent back to Chino Penitentiary – I'm going to piss you off."  
  
Hailey was speechless.  
  
"If you pick him up, you have to get him home on time. Fake an orgasm – something – but do not let him fuck up this opportunity to get early release," Ryan said.  
  
"Okay," she said.  
  
"Okay?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry."  
  
"What do you think, the white long sleeve shirt over the t-shirt or just the button down?" Ryan asked her, skimming away from the previous conversation without further comment as he held up the shirts.  
  
"Neither. Go for the blue shirt, the one hanging on the end," Hailey said, taking a deep breath and shaking off her nephew's scolding.  
  
"This one? But it's...tight."  
  
"Shows off your muscles, and you can push up your sleeves if you get hot," Hailey nodded.  
  
He raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Trust me!"  
  
"Fine," he said, hanging up the discarded choices and taking out the blue shirt.  
  
"Tell me about the girl that's got you all swoony," Hailey said, needing to reassure herself that Ryan wasn't too pissed at her to stop confiding in her.  
  
"Her name's Sadie, she's Johnny's cousin. She's sixteen and she lives with Johnny and his mom," Ryan said, changing into the shirt. "She's really hot."  
  
"Hotter than Alex?" Hailey probed.  
  
"Don't ask me that," Ryan scoffed. "She's nothing like Alex. Alex...she was punk rock, pink streak and piercings...and Sadie...she's more...natural, laid back and mellow..."  
  
"She's a hippie," Hailey interpreted.  
  
"No, Hailey," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "She's nice and interesting and I like her."  
  
"When can we meet her?" Hailey asked.  
  
"It's our first date," Ryan replied. "There's no need for introductions just yet." He ran his hands through his hair and turned to face her. "How do I look?"  
  
"Presentable," she nodded, teasingly.  
  
"Thanks," he snorted.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
  
  
Ryan and Sadie had a lot in common. Her ex-boyfriend was locked up and she'd moved in with Johnny and his mom after Johnny's asshole dad moved out.  
  
She wasn't one of the prissied up Newport princesses that had been hitting on him at Harbor. She wasn't brass and vocal like Alex or Teresa.  
  
She was cool.  
  
He felt as comfortable with her on their first date as he had after weeks with Alex.  
  
It was nice.  
  
After dessert and coffee, they left the restaurant, holding hands and walking down the boardwalk.  
  
"You want to go back to my place? My aunt and Johnny are out of town," Sadie invited, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked.  
  
"Wow. I'd really really love to, but...I'm trying to take things slow," he said, worrying how stupid he was going to sound.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I've been with a lot of girls. And now that I live with my real mom...she asked me very politely – to stop having sex without going on more than one date with them," Ryan said, unable to make it sound any less stupid.  
  
Sadie didn't hit him or look pissed. But she did look like she was about to burst into a fit of giggles.  
  
"I really like you. And I really want to make love to you...but I think we should wait until we know each other better," Ryan said, taking a deep breath.  
  
"That's actually, probably a pretty good idea. But you can still come back to my place and hang out," Sadie smiled, not letting go of his hand. "Get to know each other," she added.  
  
"In that case, let's go."  
  
\---------------------------------------------  
  
Jimmy and Ryan took the boat out on Sundays if it was clear.  
  
Ryan had become a skilled sailor, having spent a lot of his time with a broken arm supervising Jimmy's work and now that he was freed of the sling, he was putting his skills to use.  
  
They always anchored in the same place in the open bay and had lunch.  
  
"Kirsten says you had a date last night," Jimmy said.  
  
"Yeah. I figured it was about time I drop my line back into the dating pool," Ryan smiled.  
  
"How'd it go?"  
  
"Good. Really good. I like her."  
  
Jimmy took a bite of his sandwich.  
  
"I could have slept with her last night," Ryan said quietly.  
  
He managed not to choke.  
  
"But Kirsten gave me this lecture yesterday and told me that she didn't want me having sex unless I was in a committed relationship."  
  
"Sounds like good advice."  
  
Ryan shrugged. "How many dates do you think constitute a 'committed relationship'?"  
  
"I don't think you can put a number on it. I think what she probably meant is that you should save sex for someone you love," Jimmy said.  
  
"I get why people wait...but once you lose your virginity, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Ryan asked honestly. "I mean, Sadie and I are both consenting adults..."  
  
"How old's Sadie?"  
  
"16,' Ryan shrugged.  
  
"That's not adult. Consenting, maybe, but not adult," Jimmy replied, grinning at Ryan's blush.  
  
"So, what, I really have to wait until I get married? That's totally not acceptable," Ryan muttered.  
  
Jimmy was pleased that Ryan was talking to him so openly, but he wasn't sure how to deal with this topic. He hoped the girls wouldn't have these same issues when they turned 16. He needed more time to think about it.  
  
"Alex was a very nice girl and I know you cared about her – but in the big scheme of things, it was a short relationship. How long do you think you'll be with Sadie?"  
  
Ryan was looking at his sandwich. "I don't know. But I like her."  
  
"You're going to like a lot of girls. Just...don't put out for just anyone," Jimmy said.  
  
Ryan laughed. "Good advice, I guess. It's cool. Gives me a lot to think about."  
  
"Trust me, its better with someone you love. Not every girl may be comfortable being with a guy that's been with lots of girls. How do you think I felt when I found out about Julie's film?" Jimmy asked.  
  
Ryan was the one choking on his sandwich then.  
  
"A friend of mine showed me the DVD a few weeks before our wedding. He wanted me to know what I was getting into. But I loved Julie anyway and I put it behind me, and I didn't bring it up with her because I didn't care. Or at least I didn't admit that I cared," Jimmy said honestly. "But she's been with a lot more guys than I was with women and sometimes, it bothers me."  
  
"I guess I never thought of it like that," Ryan said. "I don't usually go for the nice virginal girl next door type."  
  
"Maybe you just haven't met the right one yet. Or maybe Sadie's the one..."  
  
"Teresa and I were each other's firsts," Ryan said quietly, thoughtful. "And I really thought that would last. But it didn't and after a while, it turned into just sex. I haven't really mixed the two together in a while."  
  
"Mixed what together?" Jimmy clarifies.  
  
"Love and sex. I mean, I really liked Alex, a lot, and the other girls I've been with, I liked them...but I think Teresa's the only girl I've ever really loved," he admitted. "And I don't know if I'm going to find that feeling again – if I even want to. I really like having sex, but not at that price."  
  
"You can find it again. Believe me. I loved your mother but we weren't meant to be. And when I found Julie – it was so much better than I'd remember. It's worth it to keep trying. Because when you find the right girl – it's magic."  
  
"I never thought of you as a mushy romantic," Ryan teased.  
  
"You brought it up," Jimmy pointed.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hailey watched Trey furtively in her peripheral vision as she pulled through the gate on the way to Kirsten's house.  
  
He had a couple of hours before he had to be back at the jail and he insisted on seeing Ryan.  
  
She'd made a mistake telling him about Ryan's scolding.  
  
But Trey was better in the sack than she expected and she didn't want to give up satisfying sex without at least trying to make it work with the convicted felon's restrictions.  
  
Ryan was washing his car when she pulled in the driveway. He seemed surprised to see them and turned off the hose before they got out of the car.  
  
"I need to have a talk with you, LB," Trey said, walking over to him.  
  
Ryan dried his hand on a towel, looking at his brother warily.  
  
"Go inside, Hails," Trey said.  
  
She looked at Ryan for confirmation, but he was locked in a staredown with Trey.  
  
"I'll just be over here," she said, even though they weren't listening.  
  
She couldn't make out their words at first, talking in hushed, intense voices only inches away from each other.  
  
But after she lit her cigarette, their voices started to get louder.  
  
"You're not my fucking P.O., I don't need you policing me, getting involved in my business," Trey hissed.  
  
"Your business is my business – collateral damage, Trey, I'm always caught up in your aftershocks," Ryan snapped. "I'm just trying to keep you out of maximum security lockdown..."  
  
"You don't even know what you're talking about – I can take care of myself..."  
  
"Like that's ever been true," Ryan muttered. "You're making stupid mistakes already – fucking up a good thing..."  
  
"Easy for you to say, living in this fancy house with servants at your beck and call, pussy right and left – talking about me having a good thing – stay out of my goddamn business..." Trey said angrily.  
  
"You're an ungrateful bitch," Ryan said, his voice dangerously low.  
  
Hailey was surprised to see such venom between the two brothers but their tempers were rising tangibly.  
  
"Why can't you just follow the stupid rules for a couple of more months – isn't that better than getting sent back for 6 more months in a prison where you won't get to work and save money – why can't you suck it up this one time and try to do the right thing?" Ryan asked.  
  
She didn't see who threw the first punch or who took the first hit – but she could tell they weren't holding back when the two Atwoods tumbled to the ground in a flurry of swings and kicks.  
  
"Ryan Atwood! Trey! Stop that this instant!" Kirsten demanded, storming onto the porch and down the stairs.  
  
Hailey followed her and they were soon joined by Sandy and the three of them managed to separate the two, hauling them to opposite sides of the driveway.  
  
Ryan was spitting blood and Trey's eye was bleeding and his coveralls were ripped at the neck.  
  
"Go to your room right now," Kirsten ordered.  
  
Everyone was tense and for a minute, Hailey wondered if he was going to do what she said or go after his brother again since his blue eyes were still boiling with anger.  
  
"Now, Ryan," Kirsten said after a beat.  
  
Ryan shook off Kirsten's hands and shuffled into the house, slamming the front door as a sign of protest.  
  
Hailey started to go to Trey to try and calm him down but Kirsten beat her to him, fury on her face. "You put your hands on my son. And that may have been okay when he was under your protection, but he's under mine now and you will never lay a finger on him again – I don't care what the reason, do you understand me?"  
  
Trey was stricken, even Sandy was looking at her with slight awe.  
  
"Now get the hell off my property before I change my mind about calling your warden," Kirsten snapped, giving Sandy a glare before going inside.  
  
"I'll take him," Hailey said.  
  
Sandy didn't say anything, but looked at Trey, shaking his head a little before following his wife inside.  
  
"Fuck," Trey muttered.  
  
"Let's go, I've never seen Kirsten this mad, we better get you back," Hailey said, not sure what she thought about Trey now. Ryan and Trey both had released some pent up rage on each other that she'd never considered either of them capable of. It wasn't murderous or anything, but it was definitely hurtful.  
  
They were both silent most of the way but Trey finally put his hand over his face, cursing in Spanish. "I fucked up...fuck, she's not going to let me see him and Sandy and Caleb will tell their judge friend...fuck..."  
  
Hailey didn't say anything. "We're here, man."  
  
Trey shook his head but after a moment, he steadied himself, opening the glovebox for a napkin to clean his face before straightening his clothes and stepping out. He paused outside her window, leaning in. "I'll take the van for the rest of the week. That way I won't be late for curfew and Ry won't be pissed at you. I'll see you around," he added, not kissing her and sauntering into the jail, squaring his shoulders as he faced the intake guard with a nod.  
  
"Fuck," Hailey whispered, realizing the weight of the words.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sandy grabbed a couple of icepacks from the freezer, and frozen peas as an afterthought and went to Ryan's room.  
  
Kirsten was standing outside, still fuming. "I don't want him around Ryan. I know brothers fight but this is unacceptable."  
  
"Let's talk to him," Sandy said. "Make sure he's okay and cooled off before we start the lecture."  
  
Kirsten glared at him. She knocked on the door.  
  
Ryan swung it open after a moment, his bangs wet from where he'd washed his face and changed shirts.  
  
His face was still red and he had a blossoming bruise on his cheek.  
  
Sandy held out the icepacks as a peace offering and Ryan took them, sitting down on the bed.  
  
He was sulking.  
  
It was a new side of Ryan. But so was the angry, violent boy they'd found in the driveway.  
  
"Sorry," Ryan muttered after a long moment of silence.  
  
"How's your arm?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"I'm okay."  
  
"Did he hit you first?" Sandy asked, ignoring Kirsten's glare.  
  
"We hit each other."  
  
"It doesn't matter. You are not allowed to fight. If you have issues with someone you talk them out, you do not hurt them or let them hurt you – I don't care who it is," Kirsten said. "Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes," Ryan said, not raising his eyes. "I understand. I'm sorry."  
  
"Grounded. Two weeks. And you won't see Trey for a while, not until Kirsten and I are sure that we can trust you both to hold your tempers."  
  
"Two weeks?" Ryan asked after a moment. "But I have tickets to a concert this weekend..."  
  
"You should have thought about that before you decided to settle your argument with your brother with your fists," Sandy said somberly.  
  
"I'll have Rosa bring you some food in a few hours. You can make some calls to cancel your plans for tonight," Kirsten said. She hesitated before leaving the room and turned back to Ryan. "Do you want some Advil?"  
  
"Yes, please," he replied after a moment, meeting her gaze guiltily.  
  
Once Kirsten was gone, Sandy looked down at Ryan. "Brothers fight. But not like that – he hurt you, and you hurt him and that's not okay. We had to pull you apart."  
  
Ryan sucked in a breath.  
  
Sandy patted his shoulder. "Ryan?"  
  
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I lost my temper. He riles me up," Ryan said.  
  
"Can I ask what you were fighting about?" Sandy questioned.  
  
Kirsten returned with the Advil and a glass of milk and Sandy worried that it would keep Ryan from talking, but Ryan surprised him.  
  
"He's pissed off because I was riding him about making curfew and staying out of trouble. He wants me to stay out of his life and if that's how he wants it – fine, I'll leave him alone. Let him figure it out by himself," Ryan said.  
  
Kirsten glanced at Sandy, her anger replaced with concern.  
  
"I think you both need some time to yourselves," Sandy said after a beat. "Keep that ice on your jaw and cool off before Seth gets home."  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Where's Ryan?" Caleb asked on Thursday when Sandy and Jimmy showed up alone.  
  
"He's grounded. But we were hoping we could still partake of some of your Cuban cigars," Sandy said.  
  
"The guilt's getting to him," Jimmy joked. "It's the first time they've had to punish Ryan."  
  
"What happened?" Caleb asked, welcoming them in. He still saw Ryan regularly, but it was different with the kid living with Kirsten and Sandy.  
  
He missed having him around. Knowing what and how he was doing.  
  
Renee had helped him fill the unexpected void, but it was still a void.  
  
"He got into a fistfight with Trey, no holds barred," Sandy said, sitting down at the bar and pouring himself a drink.  
  
"Well, brothers fight," Caleb said.  
  
"Yeah, but Kirsten lost it – just lost it. She kicked Trey out and blasted him with both barrels," Sandy said.  
  
"What about Ryan?"  
  
"We grounded him for two weeks," Sandy said.  
  
"But he just met that new girl," Caleb replied. "That's not nice, Sandford."  
  
"No fighting, even with family, it's one of the rules," Sandy replied. "We can't avoid it."  
  
"Probably for the best," Jimmy muttered.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Caleb asked.  
  
"When we went out on the boat last weekend, he asked me how many dates he had to go on to be able to have sex with Sadie," Jimmy confided.  
  
"He just met her!" Sandy protested.  
  
"He's a healthy teenage boy. With a teenage boy's sex drive," Caleb said, oddly impressed.  
  
"You didn't tell Kirsten, did you?" Sandy asked.  
  
"Oh no, she'd overreact," Jimmy replied. "He seemed pretty conflicted over it. I told him that he should save sex for someone he loved and he said he hadn't loved anyone other than Teresa that he'd slept with and didn't think he could put that weight on it."  
  
"Poor kid," Sandy said. "Did you get that much play in high school?" he asked Jimmy.  
  
Caleb was interested too but he didn't say anything.  
  
"Hell no. Kirsten...a couple of times with Taryn – I had a few girlfriends in college, but I never hit double digits with bedmates," Jimmy replied.  
  
"Double digits? Maybe I do need to have a talk with him," Caleb muttered.  
  
"Guys, our manly poker night has turned into Dr. Phil," Sandy laughed.  
  
Caleb passed out cigars and they settled into a comfortable silence.  
  
"When are you going to let him see Trey again?" Caleb asked finally.  
  
"He has not mentioned his brother since the fight. And while I'm pretty sure that's not going to last, we're just waiting to see which Atwood comes to us first," Sandy replied. "And see what we're dealing with."  
  
"You think Trey will stay out of trouble without Ryan as motivation?" Caleb asked.  
  
"That's a really good question," Jimmy said. Sandy was quiet.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Being grounded really sucked. A lot.  
  
Granted that it was 100 percent better than getting his ass kicked – it still sucked.  
  
He went to school and came straight home. No hanging out with Zach playing video games. No studying with Lindsay and Taylor and learning about who was dating Hilary Duff this week. Just home for homework and helping Rosa with dinner.  
  
Not that he didn't like making dinner with Rosa. He'd cooked at the diner in Chino when George wasn't feeling well and Rosa filled him in on the Spanish soap operas he'd always watched with Teresa and her mom.  
  
And after that, he'd sit with the Kirsten and Sandy and Seth, if he was around, and watch TV or DVDs.  
  
Not that he didn't like the forced family time. It was actually kind of nice.  
  
The main reason being grounded sucked was that he didn't get to see Sadie.  
  
Seth and his sisters had been helping him by smuggling his phone into his room so he could call her. Sandy had caught him using it a couple of times and finally let him keep it.  
  
He felt like he knew her really well after their extended telephone sessions.  
  
Phone sex was nice. It was something he'd never done before and he had to admit that it turned him on.  
  
But he was going crazy. Tonight was Friday night and Kirsten was showing no signs of letting him get paroled from his grounding.  
  
Seth had coached him to pout, but that had never been Ryan's forte.  
  
He had decided to sulk instead.  
  
He wasn't even that mad anymore. He knew the Cohens weren't worried that he was violent or dangerous, but that they were upset that he would fight at their house, drawing blood.  
  
Hell, Trey and Ryan used to play wrestle and end up with black eyes and bloody noses.  
  
But that kind of behavior wasn't okay here. And fights weren't supposed to end with punching.  
  
He'd learned his lesson. And he'd been too chastened to even ask about how his brother was doing.  
  
Kirsten knocked on his door, stepping in when he looked up. "Hey."  
  
"Hey. I wondered if you'd like to invite Sadie over for dinner tonight. You're still grounded, but you've got some visitation coming to you."  
  
Ryan studied her, wary. "You just want to meet her."  
  
"Maybe. But don't you want to see her, too?" Kirsten replied.  
  
He wasn't going to turn down an offer to hang out with Sadie, even with Kirsten and Sandy around.  
  
"All right. Thanks," he added.  
  
"If all goes well, we may consider letting you take her to the concert tomorrow since you already paid for the tickets. Maybe."  
  
That got his attention. He leaned across the bed and got his phone out of the drawer, making sure she saw him switch it on so she'd think it had been off the whole time.  
  
Sadie agreed easily after he told her he might be able to take her to the concert after all.  
  
He thought she might have missed him, too. Even though they'd only gone on one date, there was definitely some chemistry between them. And he didn't want his stupid fight with Trey to keep him from hooking up with a hot girl.  
  
He changed clothes and joined Kirsten and Sandy in the kitchen.  
  
He still couldn't bring himself to call her 'Mom'. Dawn was still the person he thought about when he heard the word.  
  
"Ryan, can Marissa and Kaity come over for dinner? Mommy said I have to ask you," Seth said, bouncing into the kitchen.  
  
Ryan looked at Kirsten, curiously.  
  
"Jimmy and Julie said they'd bring the ice cream," Sandy added.  
  
"So this is a huge family thing now?" Ryan smirked. They were tricky. "Fine."  
  
He hoped Sadie was ready for this.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kirsten was pleased by Ryan's newest 'girlfriend', even if they hadn't gotten that far into their relationship.  
  
She'd played with Seth and the girls, even though Kaitlyn had openly compared her to Alex before being scolded by her mother. Sadie had taken it in stride and after dinner, Kaitlyn had warmed up to her.  
  
Ryan really seemed to like her. When she'd seen him with Alex, he'd been all swagger and confidence, but with Sadie, he was tentative and charming, flirting with her quietly and careful when he touched her.  
  
Sadie was polite and respectful, even offering to help clear the table after dinner before Rosa shooed her away.  
  
She finally decided after dinner that she'd lift Ryan's grounding that night. He'd handled his punishment admirably, only breaking the 'no phone' rule a few times with his siblings' help.  
  
She found Ryan loading the dishwasher and smiled at him. "Sadie's great."  
  
"I think so, too."  
  
"You had a long week. I know it was hard being stuck in the house instead of out with your friends, but I hope you understand my reasoning. But since you've done so well, I'm going to shorten your sentence. It's Friday and I know your normal curfew is one, but I want you home by eleven tonight," she said.  
  
"Thanks," he said, surprised but visibly happy with her announcement.  
  
"Now, go rescue Sadie from your sisters, they're getting their Barbies out," Kirsten said, taking over his task with the dishwasher.  
  
She knew she still had to talk to Sandy and Jimmy to come to a consensus on how to handle the Trey situation. She knew they couldn't forbid him to see his brother, but they had to work on their tempers first.  
  
As soon as she started the machine, Ryan returned, his hands in his pockets. "Sadie and I are going out to pick out a movie and bring it back and watch it here, if that's okay. We want to save our money for the concert tomorrow," Ryan said.  
  
"Sure, honey, that's fine," Kirsten said, pleased. "What about the kids?"  
  
"We'll get a PG movie and then one for us to watch after they go to sleep," Ryan replied. "Kaitlyn wants Sadie to braid her hair."  
  
"All right. I never turn down free babysitting," Kirsten smiled.  
  
"We'll be back," Ryan said, hurrying out of the kitchen again.  
  
She took a deep breath. This was going to work.  
  
\---------  
  
  
"I think I'm going to die," Ryan announced, flopping down on Zach's empty bean bag chair in his game room.  
  
Zach laughed, well-familiar with Ryan's most recent source of angst.  
  
He liked Ryan a lot. He had made a few friends when he first moved to Newport from DC, but none that he really 'liked' hanging out with.  
  
But Ryan was down to earth and fun to chill with. He wasn't like the rest of the rich Newport kids who only cared about getting fucked up and getting laid. Well, not that Ryan didn't like getting laid – but he was different. He was actually interested in things other than partying and showing off how much money his family had. He was a real friend.  
  
They got together a couple of days a week to play video games and just veg out. Zach didn't really like getting drunk or stoned on the weekends and it was nice to have a friend who didn't like it either.  
  
Plus, he'd met Lindsay because of Ryan. And he really liked Lindsay. She was smart and pretty and she liked him, too.  
  
"Seriously – I think I’m going to just shrivel up and die."  
  
"I don't think anyone's ever died from lack of sex," Zach laughed.  
  
"What about overdosing on foreplay? I'm seriously coming down with a serious case of blue balls," Ryan groaned.  
  
"Dude, that's TMI, even for us," Zach replied.  
  
"What about you? How's it going with Lindsay?" Ryan asked.  
  
That was one of the things he appreciated about Ryan, he always was interested in Zach's issues.  
  
"Good, but we're definitely going a lot slower than you and Sadie," Zach shrugged.  
  
"You've been dating her a while," Ryan replied.  
  
"A few weeks. Lindsay, she's never...she's a virgin," Zach confided.  
  
"Oh," Ryan said, mildly surprised.  
  
Zach took a deep breath. "So am I. I'm waiting."  
  
Ryan looked at him. "Waiting for what?"  
  
"The right girl," Zach shrugged. "The girl I'm going to marry. It's not because I'm religious or anything. I'm just...waiting."  
  
"That's cool," Ryan said. "But...how will you know?"  
  
"I think...I think I'll just know."  
  
Ryan nodded, thoughtful. "Little late for me on that."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, who was your first?" Zach asked.  
  
"My friend in Chino. Teresa. And at the time...I thought she was the one," Ryan said. "But then we broke up and I...I, kind of, went on a binge, fucking anybody that would have me."  
  
"Ew," Zach said.  
  
"They were all hot...they just weren't Teresa. Then we got back together, and then we broke up again and then the last time...she left me for my friend. She's having his baby," Ryan said.  
  
"Ouch," Zach sympathized.  
  
"I don't regret it, though. Sex...is a lot of fun. When I get to have it," Ryan muttered.  
  
"What does Sadie think about this? Is she in a hurry?"  
  
"She thinks it's funny. She says it's the first time she's been with a guy that wanted her to be a cocktease," Ryan said. "She's waiting on me."  
  
"How long are you going to hold out?" Zach asked.  
  
"I don't know. But I don't think I can go much longer, dude. I just hope Kirsten doesn't want to have another 'safe sex' talk with me. Totally uncomfortable," Ryan said. "What are you guys doing this weekend?"  
  
"We haven't made any definite plans," Zach replied.  
  
"Sadie wants to go to this flea market in San Diego on Saturday, we were going to get a hotel room Friday night and drive back Saturday afternoon. You and I could share a room and the girls could share one," Ryan suggested. "Johnny's got a surfing tournament and Taylor's doing something with her Mom."  
  
"I'm down, but I'll have to check with Lindsay to make sure her mom's okay with it," Zach said.  
  
"Tell her to call Kirsten or Sandy if she has any questions. Not tonight, though. I haven't asked them yet," Ryan said.  
  
"Wait, you're inviting us before you ask your parents?" Zach asked. He didn't bother to make the distinction with Ryan's 'family'. He knew it was still hard for Ryan to deal with his large attentive new family members, but Zach had decided Kirsten and Sandy were the ones making the rules now, thus they were the parents.  
  
"I mentioned it last night, that there was a thing in San Diego and that I wanted to take Sadie because her car is shit. Kirsten said it was a lot of driving to be doing in one day, and today I thought of the hotel room – if you guys can go," Ryan said.  
  
"So, you're not just asking me because you want to spend the night with Sadie?"  
  
"I need you there to keep me celibate," Ryan said seriously. "I'm not saying I don't plan on having some alone time with Sadie, but it's still too soon, I think."  
  
"Why are you really doing this if you don't want to? If you and Sadie are both into it, why not just do it?"  
  
Ryan was thoughtful. "I guess I'm trying to change. Everything's different here. Priorities are different. It's like...sex was enough for me. I didn't need anything else. But Kirsten and Jimmy, they say I should hold out until I find someone I want to be with. That sex is special and it isn't something that I should do with lots of girls...only the important ones. I want Sadie to be an important one. I want to have more in common with her than just good sex. And the sex, it will be good..."  
  
"Shut up!" Zach laughed, sensing that Ryan had gotten too serious and needed to lighten the mood. "Enough girl talk – let's kill some zombies."  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Can I speak to Ryan?"  
  
Sandy took the phone into his office and closed the door. "He's at Zach's, Trey."  
  
"I...I was calling to apologize. I was an asshole," Trey said after a long moment.  
  
"I think Ryan might have fired some angry words back at you, Trey. But you're the adult. He's the child."  
  
"He's not a child. He's not a baby. He throws a harder punch than I do."  
  
Sandy waited.  
  
"But I know I was wrong. He's just trying to look out for me. I should be glad he still gives a shit after how the rest of my family has treated him."  
  
"He's got your temper," Sandy said. "Slow burn. But both of you have got to learn that raised voices are okay, but raised fists are not."  
  
"I know. I don't want to lose him, Mr. Cohen. He's all I have left," Trey said quietly.  
  
"I've trusted that you have Ryan's best interests at heart since I first met you. But Kirsten is Ryan's mother and she's more attached to him every day. I'm not sure you understand how upset she was to have Ryan hurt so badly by AJ. She's protective of her children and seeing him like that only made her more protective. She's got a lot of time to make up for. So next time you feel like hitting your little brother, I want you to consider the fact that Kirsten may never let you see him again," Sandy said.  
  
"Can I see him again now?" Trey asked after a beat.  
  
"I'll talk to Kirsten. But ultimately, it'll be up to Ryan. I'll tell him you called. How's everything going for you?" Sandy asked.  
  
"Good. I'm on time with the van and I haven't done any drugs or gotten into any fights...other than with Ryan," he added.  
  
"You know, if you have a girlfriend, you can put her name on your list. That way if you're late, they have a number to call to track you down. Right now, the jail calls Ryan if you're late," Sandy said conversationally.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If he's the person they've got down as picking you up from work, that's who they call. So if you're being picked up by someone else, you should put their name on the list," Sandy explained. "You don't get in trouble if you're late as long as they can make contact with you to ensure you're on the way."  
  
"Oh. I didn't know the jail had called Ryan," Trey said.  
  
"If you'd been with him, you wouldn't have been arguing in the driveway. And if he'd been with you, you wouldn't have been late for check in," Sandy said. "And I'm not going to ask who you're seeing, because I have a feeling that I wouldn't approve, but I will reiterate that my wife will make your life a living hell if you hurt any member of her family."  
  
"I better go," Trey said, not admitting to anything. "Tell Ryan I called. I already took care of the rest of that lecture."  
  
Sandy was surprised. "Fair enough."  
  
He hung up the phone and walked back into the kitchen, hanging it up.  
  
"Who was that?" Kirsten asked from the kitchen.  
  
"Trey. Wanted to talk to Ryan."  
  
"Really," she said, feigning indifference.  
  
"Go ahead," he smiled.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Grill me, I'm ready."  
  
She looked at him coyly before sitting down. "All right. Since you want me to. What did he say?"  
  
"He said he was sorry. And that it wouldn't happen again," Sandy said, sitting down beside her.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I think Trey needs Ryan as much as Ryan needs Trey," Sandy replied honestly. "He's made mistakes and he shouldn't have gotten pissed off at his little brother just for looking out for him, but I think it's hard for him to be locked up and see Ryan growing closer with us without him being here to hold onto him."  
  
"You think we can trust him with Ryan?"  
  
"Ryan hit Trey, too," Sandy pointed out.  
  
"Can we trust them together, then, how about that?" Kirsten rephrased.  
  
"I think we can. If you and I hadn't broken them up, what do you think would have happened? How do you think the fight would have ended?" Sandy asked her.  
  
She shuddered. "I don't know."  
  
"I do. They would have worn each other out and then talked it over. Trey wouldn't have killed him, Ryan wouldn't have killed Trey, they would have talked it out. It's going to take time for them to learn new patterns. Ryan's still learning how our family works, and Trey...he's separated from everything," Sandy said.  
  
"I feel for him, I do...and I'm not trying to take Ryan from him...but you and Dad have done a lot for him, he's got to take responsibility for himself, too. He's the adult," Kirsten said.  
  
"So what are we going to do?"  
  
She sighed. "He's Ryan's brother. But I think someone should be around to mediate during their next visit."  
  
He leaned over and kissed her.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“All this kissing…all this talking…I love it…but I need a little more, don’t you think you know me well enough to give me a little more?” Sadie panted, going insane with her lust for this blond California boy.  
  
She wasn’t sure what kind of game Ryan was playing, but he was serious about not having sex. Until he felt like he knew her better.  
  
She’d been with a few guys, but none of them that drove her as wild as Ryan did. He could say ‘hello’ and her pussy would drip. There was just something about him – she wanted him.  
  
It didn’t help that he was funny and sweet and smart and an amazing kisser. It only made her want him more.  
  
And he wanted her – she couldn’t imagine that his hand was getting much rest when he went home with a hard-on every night.  
  
“More?” Ryan rasped finally, leaning back against her bed and looking her in the eyes, his lips swollen from their make-out session.  
  
“More,” she nodded, sliding her hand down his stomach and pulling his shirt over his head. She sucked one of his nipples into her mouth, admiring his muscular physique.  
  
“Sadie…” he whispered. “If we start…I don’t think I’ll be able to stop…”  
  
“No sex, that’s your rule, right? There are lots of things that aren’t defined as ‘sex’,” Sadie said, unbuttoning his jeans.  
  
He stared at her a moment and finally reached up to pull her face against his for a kiss. He unclasped her bra through her shirt and she giggled into his mouth.  
  
She let her hand dip into his boxers, rubbing her thumb across the leaking head of his cock, pulling back so he could watch her lick her fingers clean. It had the effect she wanted and Ryan’s eyes glazed over with arousal.  
  
She was surprised when he took over, flipping her over on her back and pushing her skirt up around her waist.  
  
“Ryan…” she started, pissed off that she didn’t get to finish with her plan to seduce him.  
  
But then his fingers were inside her and he was kissing her neck and her now bare breasts, paying special attention to her straining nipples.  
  
She dug her fingers into the bedspread when he kissed a trail down her belly while still stroking her pussy with his thick fingers.  
  
She’d given oral sex a lot of times, but she’d never really enjoyed receiving it. But after the past couple of weeks of ‘play’, his coarse tongue running across her clit was enough to make her have to muffle a moan.  
  
His hands were tight on her thighs, holding her open as he continued sucking and licking her clit until she was writhing against his hands in desperation.  
  
“I want to feel you cum…I’ve waited so long to be able to make you cum,” he said, before resuming his task between her legs.  
  
Those other boys she’d been with had obviously not known what they were doing because it only took a few more minutes of his tongue to make her lose her breath, her toes curling up as she panted out her climax.  
  
She recovered despite Ryan’s patient cleaning of her sex and reached down, tangling her hand in his hair and pulling him gently to lay beside her on the bed.  
  
His cock was still leaking pre-cum and hard and when she licked her hand and wrapped her fingers around it, she could feel his pounding pulse.  
  
“God, I want to fuck you so hard,” she whispered.  
  
“You’re driving me insane,” Ryan said, closing his eyes when she circled the head of his dick with her tongue before taking him into her mouth.  
  
She couldn’t get his whole dick inside but it was worth the effort by the sound he made when it hit the back of her throat for an instant.  
  
She cupped his balls with one hand and put her other hand against his stomach to hold him in place. He bucked his hips when she took him deep and she didn’t want to embarrass herself and gag, so she held him steady and sucked him.  
  
He made these grunting noises in the back of his throat and she released him, stroking his cock tightly until he came in her fist.  
  
“Who needs sex?” Sadie smiled at him, leaning down to kiss him. She could taste herself on his lips but it only made her want him more.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“So, Kirsten says you and the new chick are going to San Diego this weekend, can I chaperone?” Hailey asked, flopping down on Ryan’s bed.  
  
“Afraid not. Zach and Lindsay are coming for that purpose,” Ryan replied, stuffing clothes into a dufflebag.  
  
She pulled the bag from his hands, turning it upside down. Deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, three changes of underwear, a pair of jeans, some shirts… “No condoms?” she asked, folding the clothes meticulously and putting the toiletries in the side pocket.  
  
“I’m not sleeping with Sadie,” Ryan admitted. He studied her face. “Are you still sleeping with Trey?”  
  
She hoped she managed to hide her lie. “Nope. He broke it off after you and him got all rumbly in the driveway. You’re the most important person in his life,” she said. “I don’t think he wanted to fuck that up.”  
  
Ryan snorted. “Whatever.”  
  
“Have you talked to him?” Hailey asked.  
  
“He’s called a few times. But he wants me to stay out of his business so I am. He’s riding the van, I guess, to work and back.”  
  
“When does he get his weekend privileges restored?” she asked innocently.  
  
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him,” Ryan replied, taking the bag back from her now that she’d refilled it with folded clothes and zipping it up.  
  
“What about Kirsten? Is she going to let you see him again?”  
  
“She says I can see him whenever I want,” Ryan shrugged. “But I’m not pushing her right now. She’s letting me drive to San Diego with Sadie overnight tomorrow and I’m not willing to risk that just so my brother can yell at me face to face.”  
  
“You think he’s going to yell?” Hailey asked.  
  
“Yup,” Ryan replied. “And if you’d kept sleeping with him, he’d have yelled at you too. Or gotten you arrested. As much as I love my brother, he has a way of fucking up even the simplest things. He wants me to leave him alone, I’ll do it.”  
  
“I’m sure he’s sorry,” Hailey said after a beat.  
  
“You know what that means to me, Hailey?” Ryan asked her. “That means yes, you’re still fucking him, and that he asked you to talk to me.”  
  
“Why would you say that?” she asked, stricken.  
  
“Because I know my brother. You’re a pretty woman, and way out of his league, there’s no way he’d kick you out of his bed without having a replacement lined up,” Ryan replied evenly. “So why don’t you just admit it?”  
  
“Why are you being so nasty to me?” Hailey asked after a beat.  
  
“I’m not trying to be nasty. I just liked it when you didn’t come to hang out with me just because you were fishing for information,” Ryan replied. “If Trey has a question, he can ask me, he shouldn’t have to come to you.”  
  
“You aren’t talking to him,” Hailey said, cursing herself for giving in so easily.  
  
Ryan’s eyes were hooded when he looked at her again. “That’s what he wanted. And I really don’t appreciate you taking his side. I don’t like there being sides. It’s between me and Trey, it has nothing to do with you or Kirsten or anyone else, it’s between me and him. But since he’s brought you into it, I guess I’ll use you to pass along a message – fuck off.” He picked up his dufflebag and left the room.  
  
Hailey stared after him for a long moment.  
  
And she thought she’d fucked up before.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryan was staring down Jimmy, about to win the whole pot of Cheetos if his father didn’t fold this hand.  
  
Jimmy was a pathetic bluff and he gave in after a few minute, throwing his cards down and giving Sandy and Caleb the finger when they collapsed into laughter.  
  
Ryan smoothly gathered his winnings beside him.  
  
“You and I are going to Vegas as soon as you turn 21,” Caleb said, smiling.  
  
“I’m not turning down a free trip to Vegas,” Ryan acknowledged.  
  
“That’s enough for me tonight, I better get home to Julie, she’s going to ask me if I beat you. I hate the way you make me have to lie to her,” Jimmy teased.  
  
Caleb glanced at his watch. “Renee’s coming over soon, I need to clean up the cheese dust,” he added.  
  
Sandy patted Ryan on the back. “Mind giving me a ride home?”  
  
“No problem,” Ryan said. Rosa swooped in as soon as Jimmy had left and began cleaning up so they said goodbye to Caleb and started the short drive back to Sandy’s.  
  
“Did something happen between you and Hailey today?” Sandy asked, conversationally.  
  
“Why?” Ryan replied, keeping his tone even.  
  
“Just curious. And she called you four times while we were at Poker night,” Sandy added.  
  
Ryan glanced at him. Sandy was a better bluff.  
  
“How long has she been sleeping with Trey?” Sandy asked, glancing out the window and feigning indifference.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ryan said immediately.  
  
If this was a game of poker faces, then they were both losing.  
  
“I’m not judging him. Or Hailey. But it seems to be bothering you,” Sandy said after a moment.  
  
“It’s not the sleeping together that’s bothering me. Trey always finds a chick to sleep with. But he’s asking Hailey to talk to me since I’m not talking to him. It’s not fair to put her in the middle,” Ryan said. He took a deep breath. “He always pulls this shit. He used to send his girlfriends to smooth things over with me in Chino and it pissed me off then. And he fucking knows it.”  
  
Sandy cleared his throat.  
  
“Sorry,” Ryan said. He’d been trying to work on his cursing.  
  
“So, it doesn’t bother you? That Trey is sleeping with your aunt?” Sandy asked.  
  
“Does it bother you?” Ryan countered. “Because I learned a long time ago that I cannot control my brother’s sex life. And I have a feeling Hailey’s the same way. They make their own decisions. I don't think it'll end well, but it's not up to me."  
  
"Let me ask you this, Ryan, with all honesty – what do you think Trey's going to do when he gets out of jail?"  
  
That wasn't the question he expected. Hell, he didn't have an answer for that.  
  
"I need you to think about that. I'm not saying this because of any personal feelings I may have, I'm saying this because of my concern for you. You are doing great in school and you are going to do great in college. You are not always going to be around to deal with your brother," Sandy said carefully. "He has to be able to survive on his own. Do you think he'll be able to stick with a job? Do you think he's going to be able to stay off drugs and stay out of trouble?"  
  
"I don't know," Ryan said. He realized he was clenching his fingers around the steering wheel and he forced himself to relax. "I hope being in jail will scare him straight."  
  
"He was in juvie a few times, wasn't he?" Sandy asked.  
  
Ryan glanced at him. "Yeah."  
  
"Did that work?" Sandy asked him pointedly.  
  
"You're like a shrink now?" Ryan asked, parking the car in the driveway. "No, juvie didn't work. And I don't know what he's going to do when he gets out, he shuts me down whenever I ask him." Neither made any move to get out.  
  
"There's a reason I'm asking you now, Ryan. I don't want you to be caught unprepared. Things are different than when Trey first got arrested. You have a family now, and you have money. And hopefully we've proved to you that we're willing to help your brother, but there's going to come a point where we're going to need to know more about his trustworthiness than you've told us so far," Sandy said.  
  
Ryan studied him, the words spinning in his head.  
  
"You want me to rat him out?" Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
"No, kid, I would never ask you to do that," Sandy said. He hesitated.  
  
"Spell it out for me, Sandy, come on," Ryan replied.  
  
"If Trey asks us for money, do you want us to give it to him? What are you expecting us to do for him when he gets out – can we trust him in the house with Seth, can we trust him not to get in a fistfight with Hailey – these are questions that we're going to have to ask when his parole comes up, Ryan. That's how it spells out," Sandy said.  
  
"Oh," Ryan said. "Has he asked you for anything?"  
  
"No. Has he asked you for anything?" Sandy countered.  
  
"No. Cigarettes, but that's it. And he'd ask me for rides when you guys got him transferred here because he said the van smelled like ... pee," he censored.  
  
"Your mom's dead. Your dad's locked up. He hasn't had any other family come visit. He wants to be close to you."  
  
"I guess I have to talk to him."  
  
"Think about it first. And once you have your thoughts together, come and talk to me," Sandy said, patting his knee. "And I'm sorry for the 'heavy conversation ambush' here. It's rare I get to talk to you alone."  
  
"Thanks, Sandy," Ryan said. "I appreciate it, even if it's highly uncomfortable... at least you always give it to me straight," he added honestly.  
  
"You'll have time to think about it this weekend. I'll have to give you one of my old roadtrip cassettes," Sandy offered, getting out of the car.  
  
"Cassettes? Really? I don't know if my CD-player will play your cassettes," Ryan laughed. But he was thinking about Sandy's questions.  
  
He needed to think about those kind of questions. Trey was a good brother, but he'd never been able to make it on his own. He'd never paid rent or made money without dealing pot or small time burglary. He'd never had a checking account or had to balance a bank book. He'd have a felony on his record, he wouldn't be able to get a desk job anywhere and it wasn't like he was cut out for that.  
  
And Trey would eventually come to him for help.  
  
Ryan needed to think.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  



	4. Chapter 4

  
Ryan nodded numbly as Kirsten ran through the rules of his ‘roadtrip’ again.  
  
He had to call when he got to San Diego, call again once they were settled in their hotel rooms and call again before he went to bed for the night. He was supposed to call again after they checked out on Saturday afternoon and to let her know if they were going to be late.  
  
He’d never had anyone worried about him in this kind of detail, but it was weirdly comforting to know that they were so concerned with his welfare.  
  
He’d expected the ‘parenting’ to be suffocating, but he was actually getting used to it.  
  
His discussion with Sandy over Trey was still hanging over him, though.  
  
He loaded his bag into the trunk, assuring Kirsten that he’d call AAA if he had an accident and making sure the spare tire was intact and that his cell phone had lots of minutes.  
  
Zach was already at Lindsay’s and he talked to Renee a few minutes before driving the couple to Sadie’s to pick her up and start their drive.  
  
"God, I thought my mom would never shut up," Lindsay said, breaking the silence once Ryan pulled onto the freeway. She started talking quietly with Zach in the back seat and Ryan focused on traffic. And Trey.  
  
Sadie put her hand on his knee, rubbing her thumb across his jeans gently. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"Hm? Nothing, just driving," Ryan said.  
  
"Yeah, right. Talk to me," Sadie said. "I can tell that you're not fully here."  
  
"I've just got a lot on my mind," Ryan replied.  
  
"Like what? We've got time, we've got a couple of hours before we hit San Diego," Sadie replied.  
  
Ryan let out a sigh, glancing at Zach and Lindsay in the back seat, pretending not to listen.  
  
"Spill," Sadie said. "Did Kirsten give you a hard time about this weekend?"  
  
"No, they were really cool about it. It's...it's my brother," Ryan admitted.  
  
"Is Seth sick again?" Lindsay asked from the backseat.  
  
"No, he's doing fine. Trey, my other brother," Ryan replied.  
  
"Have I met him?" Sadie asked.  
  
"He's in jail," Zach answered, mouthing an apology when Ryan glanced at him in the mirror.  
  
Ryan didn't mind telling Zach and Lindsay things, he trusted them.  
  
"The work release thing, I remember. What about him?"  
  
"He's fucking my aunt. Like, my biological aunt."  
  
"Okay, wait," Sadie said, laughing. "Explain it to me again, I know you've told me, but since we have hours to kill, give me a refresher before I get horrified."  
  
Ryan smiled. "Okay. So, Kirsten's my biological mother. She got pregnant in high school by Jimmy..."  
  
"Marissa and Kaitlyn's dad, good so far," Sadie nodded.  
  
"Caleb, the guy that's dating Lindsay's mom, he's Kirsten's dad and he made her give me up for adoption. I grew up in Chino, well, Fresno first, with a different set of parents," Ryan said.  
  
"Okay. And Trey, he was your brother there, with your adoptive family," Sadie said.  
  
"When did they tell you that you were adopted?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"After my dad - adopted dad - went to jail. Before we moved to Chino," Ryan answered. It should bother him having a Q and A but since they'd started it, he kind of wanted to hear their opinion since none of them were directly involved in his confusing family.  
  
"So when did you meet your real parents?" Sadie asked, more somber.  
  
"A few months ago. Seth was sick with leukemia and they couldn't find a bone marrow match. Kirsten told Sandy and he went to Caleb and they tracked me down. Turned my life upside down. Trey had just gone to jail for grand theft auto and my mom...she was a mess. I went out of town to make the donation, met Kirsten and Jimmy for the first time and then when I went back to Chino, my mom had ditched."  
  
"She left you?" Lindsay asked, surprised.  
  
Ryan shrugged. "She was a mess. And her boyfriend, he hated me. She told him that I was adopted and he didn't see any reason for them to stick around. Caleb and Sandy...they helped me out. I didn't have anywhere to go, and Sandy's a lawyer and they wanted me to live here."  
  
"You said Caleb and Sandy, what about Kirsten?" Sadie asked.  
  
"She really wanted me to come. But it was weird. I mean, the Nichols are rich, and I was dirt poor growing up. Drinking, guns, drugs...all these years I've wondered about my birth parents and to find out that they're rich and good parents, good people...it was hard to come to terms with all that, and it happened really fast," Ryan tried to explain.  
  
"Where's your other mom now?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"She's dead. Overdosed a couple of months ago. Her boyfriend came to Caleb's and kicked my ass. Cops shot him dead in the living room," Ryan said evenly.  
  
"Oh god," Sadie said. "That's the worst thing I've ever heard."  
  
"Life goes on. I mean, it really sucked, but I had to try and close that chapter of my life," Ryan said.  
  
"Enough about all that, you said you were stressed about your brother, the one that's in jail. He seems like a cool guy..." Zach said, changing the subject since the mood had shifted.  
  
"He's fucking his aunt," Lindsay said. Zach seemed surprised by her language and Ryan rolled his eyes when Zach grinned.  
  
"That's not it. He's in jail, but Sandy and Caleb pulled some strings to get him in this work release program and he's going to be up for early release soon."  
  
"That's a good thing, right?" Sadie asked.  
  
Ryan hesitated. "I don't know."  
  
"Like, are you worried he's going to rob you or something?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"No, nothing like that. But what's he going to do? I mean, Mom's dead and he doesn't have any friends that aren't locked up. And he's been my brother for 16 years, I have to have his back. But I have a little brother and sisters and...I have family and school. But Trey...I've never seen him live a clean life," Ryan said, putting his thoughts into words. "I want to say that he's a grown up and I trust him to get back on his feet, but I've seen tons of people get out of jail and get into trouble because they don't have any skills and all their friends are cons."  
  
"He's working construction now, so he's got skills," Sadie said.  
  
"But Trey, he's going to see my house, my car, my clothes and he's going to know that I didn't have to work for any of that, people gave them to me...he's going to want free stuff, too. He's going to want the easy money. And I don't want him mooching off Kirsten or Caleb..." Ryan said. "And what if he starts getting high again? Am I going to want him around Seth zooming?"  
  
"Definitely not. And it's hard to kick the habit. My mom's uncle was a junkie, he went to jail and sobered up and when he got out, he started shooting up right away and overdosed," Lindsay said.  
  
"Is he safe?" Sadie asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, I mean, he'll start a barfight in a heartbeat, but he doesn't hit women or children. But he's stupid as hell...and if he's fucked up...he can be a real asshole," Ryan said. "And I'm his 'little brother' so I can't tell him what to do."  
  
Zach laughed. "My sister's like that, she doesn't listen to anything I say."  
  
"I'm overthinking it," Ryan sighed. "But Sandy told me I needed to start thinking about it and talk to him. Tell him what I expect them to do.”  
  
“Why is it up to you? I mean, if they want to help him, they should. If they don’t…” Lindsay said. “Well, I can see how it might stick you in the middle.”  
  
“Apparently, I have money now. Like, a trust fund,” Ryan added. “I still can’t get used to all of this. And I’ve always helped him out, when I was working and he was broke, I’d give him cash…but this money, it isn’t really my money. And I don’t want him spending Kirsten or Caleb’s money on drugs or strippers. I’d really like to think that he’s just going to clean up and get a job and stay on the straight and narrow when he gets out, but…he’s never done it before."  
  
"I think you've spoken more in the last five minutes than I've ever heard you speak at one sitting," Sadie said seriously.  
  
"Sorry," he smiled, knowing she was trying to calm him down. He was just winding himself tighter.  
  
"I see where Sandy's coming from asking you...but I think it's too big of a decision for you to deal with," Lindsay said from the backseat. "I mean, if all this major stuff has happened in the past 6 months – you've already got enough to deal with. You shouldn't have to depend on your brother anymore and he shouldn't have to depend on you – financially, I mean," she edited.  
  
"She's kind of right," Sadie replied. "How much money do you have?"  
  
"I don't know. I haven't asked. They keep trying to talk to me about it, but it's too weird," Ryan replied. "I mean, I took the car, I go to private school..."  
  
"They owe you," Zach said quietly. "And their money doesn't make you anywhere near even – but if you would have grown up here, you'd have had money. And parents give their money to their kids, its like, inherited. It is your money."  
  
"Rich people," Lindsay muttered, winking to show she was teasing.  
  
"But it's not Trey's money," Sadie said, picking up where she'd left off. "And if it's a lot of money, it's not fair for you to have to decide what happens to it when you're 16. Maybe when you're 18, but you can't be in charge of your brother's rehabilitation."  
  
"Then what am I supposed to tell Sandy?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Maybe...everything that you just told us," Sadie suggested.  
  
Ryan shrugged, still unsure as to what Sandy expected him to do.  
  
"You can't brood all weekend, dude, this roadtrip was your idea," Zach mentioned.  
  
Ryan gave him the finger over his shoulder. "I'm not brooding. I'm just thinking." He pointed at a road sign and added, "But now that we're officially out of Orange County, I'm going to chill out and we are not talking about any of my family anymore."  
  
Sadie snorted, shaking her head, clearly not ready to drop the conversation. Ryan's phone started to ring. He pulled it off his belt and glanced at the display.  
  
“Please don’t tell me your parents are checking in already,” Zach groaned.  
  
“It’s Seth, I think,” Ryan said.  
  
“Aliens again? But it’s still daylight out,” Sadie grinned.  
  
Ryan shrugged and raised the phone to his ear.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Okay, so I guess we need to have one of those ‘talks’ that Ryan always talks about,” Trey said, glancing at the clock automatically. He’d gotten an overnight pass because of his newfound punctuality to and from work.  
  
“Do we have to? I’m just appreciating the face that this lasted longer than our usual quickies. Not that I don’t like the quickies, but sometimes, its nice to have a little more time to enjoy the post-sex nap,” Hailey yawned, her head leaned against his chest.  
  
“Ryan’s still not talking to you, is he?” Trey asked. He’d really fucked up things. Hailey had offered to smooth things over between the two Atwoods and even though he’d warned her that Ryan would get pissed off, she’d done it anyway. And he’d gotten pissed off, just like always.  
  
Trey and Ryan had a long history of fights. He loved Ryan more than anything, but it didn’t mean they always agreed or got along.  
  
Ryan always followed the rules, always did the right thing, even when it didn’t get him anywhere. He’d work his ass off to save money even though AJ or Dawn would take it. He’d go to school, make good grades, even though his absences would keep him from passing all his classes.  
  
And yeah, sometimes it pissed him off. Trey wasn’t built like that. If there was a shortcut, he was damned well going to figure out how to use it.  
  
But he was used to fighting with Ryan. Hailey wasn’t.  
  
He’d learned that Hailey would talk about anything, even things that she didn’t know anything about. So if she wasn’t talking about Ryan, then she was upset. “Hailey?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“Ryan will get over it. He’ll come around.”  
  
She sat up then, reaching down beside the bed and picking up a tank top off the floor and pulling it on. “You hope.”  
  
Trey admired her slender, curvy body and wondered again how he got lucky enough to get this chick into bed.  
  
She glared at him before smacking his thigh through the sheet. “How are you so sure that he’ll forgive you? That he’ll get over this?”  
  
“Because I know my little brother…”  
  
Hailey held his gaze. “He's not just your little brother any more. He’s my nephew now. He’s Kirsten’s son. He doesn’t need you anymore Trey, so what’s keeping him bound to you?”  
  
Trey frowned. She didn’t have to be so blunt.  
  
“Why is he loyal to you, Trey?” Hailey asked.  
  
“Because for those 15 years when your family wasn’t giving a shit about him, I was. I took him to the doctor’s when he was sick, I went to see his school plays and soccer games – me. And he’s not just going to forget about all that because your sister feels guilty about throwing him away,” Trey snapped.  
  
“She didn’t throw him away. I just want you to consider that Ryan might not always come running back to you. He’s really pissed off. He doesn’t want you to go back to jail…” Hailey replied.  
  
“I don’t want to go back either – it wasn’t a big deal, it was a couple of tardies…but I didn’t know that the jail had called him.”  
  
“I just hate that my relationship with you, even though it’s purely sexual, is making him think I’m taking sides. Yet, here I am, shacked up in a hotel room with you while he’s off – not answering my calls,” Hailey sighed. She glanced at him, guilty. “I like you, Trey. But Ryan…he’s just like my little brother now. And I just can’t understand why this isn’t bothering you more than it is.”  
  
“I’m not a chick,” Trey said. “I don’t start crying when I’m upset. And I was an asshole to Ryan, he was just trying to look out for me. He just needs time to cool off, and I’m giving it to him.”  
  
“And you trust that he’ll get over it,” Hailey stated.  
  
“Yes, I do. You think this is the first time me and Ryan have had this argument? It’s not, we go in circles – he thinks he knows what’s right for me and I have to put him in his place, it’s like a never-ending cycle for the two of us,” Trey said, leaning back against the pillow, frustrated.  
  
“I’m sorry, Trey. Want to have sex again?” Hailey offered.  
  
“In a minute,” he sighed, not in the mood.  
  
She laid down beside him again, apologetic. “I’m sorry. Ryan’s new to me, and I want to make sure that he’s not unhappy, that he doesn’t hate me. I want to be a good aunt.”  
  
Trey didn’t say anything. He’d been thinking about something for a while but hadn’t been sure if he could trust the information with Hailey.  
  
Maybe he could.  
  
“You know, when I was growing up, sometimes I wished I didn’t have a little brother. He was always following me around and I had to take care of him because Mom and Dad were too busy being drunks and fighting...sometimes I wanted to run away and just not have to worry about him. But I could never bring myself to leave him behind." He looked over at Hailey. "Maybe it's time I start thinking about it."  
  
"What do you mean?" Hailey asked, carefully, her eyes dark with confusion.  
  
"He's got a family now, people that can take care of him. You were right before, he doesn't need me anymore. When I get parole, I don't have to worry about him being okay. I just have to worry about myself," Trey said thoughtfully.  
  
"What's that mean?" she asked. "What will you do?"  
  
He shrugged. "I'll have some cash from this work release program. And my friend, Eddie, he said I can have his apartment when he gets a house. He doesn't want to raise a kid in an apartment, and he'll put a good word in for me with the landlord. And he thinks he can get me hired at the garage where he works."  
  
"Chino," she stated.  
  
"Yeah. I mean, it's not like I really fit in here, and I can't afford the cost of living in Newport," Trey smirked.  
  
"That's where you got arrested, Chino," Hailey said.  
  
He propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at her. "I don't make a lot of promises, but I can promise you this – I will not go back to jail. You didn't see Ryan's face when I got sentenced. See, I know this shit right now will blow over, he'll forgive me and get over it because his face didn't look like it did in that courtroom. I broke his heart, Hailey. When I got arrested, it wouldn't have been a big deal for me...but if you'd seen his face..."  
  
"He loves you," Hailey said.  
  
"The more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn't stick around when I get out. He's got a car, and I'll get one, eventually, and we'll still be able to see each other...but we won't be in each other's face all the time," Trey said.  
  
Hailey danced her fingers up his arm. "Maybe I'll come slumming to Chino sometimes, check out your digs, make sure you're not making bad decisions," she teased.  
  
"Me, make bad decisions? You're one to talk," he said, climbing on top of her, making her giggle. "You're the one sleeping with felons."  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Seth picked at his food and Kirsten let out an exasperated sigh. "What's wrong with your fries, now?"  
  
"The fries are fine. I was just thinking," her son said, his bottom lip quivering.  
  
"You, at a loss for words? What's wrong, son?" Sandy asked, noticing his hesitation.  
  
"Can I talk to Mom alone?" Seth asked, looking at Sandy, plaintative.  
  
"Oh. Okay. I'll just...eat in here," Sandy said, startled. He gave Kirsten a curious glance and took his plate into the den, where he could still hear what was going on without sitting in.  
  
"Do you feel okay?" Kirsten asked immediately, fearing that he was ill.  
  
"I'm not sick, I'm okay. I just...I have some questions. About Ryan," Seth said, pushing his plate away and leaning his chin on his crossed arms to face her.  
  
She'd expected his interrogation much earlier, but she still wasn't prepared for it. "All right, honey."  
  
"Ryan's, like, the best brother I could have ever asked for. He's funny and cool and he doesn't treat me like a sick little kid. And I have friends because Marissa likes me now and Summer's awesome...and I just wish he could have been here when I was growing up. He's only here until he turns 18 and what if he marries one of his girlfriends and moves away and forgets about us like you forgot about him?" Seth asked in a flurry of words.  
  
"We won't let him forget about us, Seth. We're not going to forget about him either, he's always going to be your brother."  
  
"But he's Trey's brother, too. And he doesn't get as happy when he sees me as he does when he sees Trey," Seth said. "And he really likes Sadie...I mean, he liked Alex, too, but he likes spending time with them more than he does me and Marissa and Kaity."  
  
Kirsten considered his words carefully. "Just because he likes spending time with them, doesn't mean he loves you any less. You like spending time with Summer, don't you? But you don't like to do the same things with Summer that you like to do with Ryan. When you get older, you'll understand. As you get older, you'll want to go out with your friends, too."  
  
"Were you poor when you were 17?" Seth asked.  
  
"No," she replied. "Your grandma and grandpa have always been well off."  
  
"Then why did Ryan have to grow up far away?" Seth asked. "I mean, I know if you'd kept him, I probably wouldn't be here because you'd be married to Mr. Cooper...but why'd you give him away?"  
  
"I was 17 and...I didn't think I could take care of him. Your grandma didn't want me to miss going to college, she thought it was the best thing for me. And we thought that Ryan would be taken care of," Kirsten said, managing to keep her voice from shaking.  
  
"Why didn't you check on him? I mean...I know that man hurt him at Grandpa's, but some of his scars are older, me and Marissa were talking about it," Seth blurted out, blushing immediately. "I wasn't supposed to ask..."  
  
"When a child is given up for adoption, the birth parents have to sign a contract that they won't interfere in the baby's life..." Kirsten said, even though she was too drugged to remember signing hers.  
  
"But you found him...because I was sick. You broke your contract. So...maybe me getting sick, maybe that was God's way of telling you to find him. That he needed us," Seth said quietly. "I didn't like being sick, but it did mean we got to find Ryan."  
  
"I know he's glad to have found you, too," Kirsten said.  
  
"Us," Seth said. "He found all of us. And Trey's cool and all, but I like my family better." He stood up, walking around the table to hug her. "I'm going to go upstairs and read my comics before Marissa comes over."  
  
Kirsten watched him walk away and managed not to break down in tears until Sandy's comforting arms embraced her.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Hi, Trey. I have to admit I was surprised when you called. Ryan's in San Diego, you know," Sandy said, sitting down at table by the hot dog cart at the pier.  
  
"I know. I wanted to talk to you. Figured I'd have a better chance of getting heard than if I asked to talk to Ryan's mom," Trey said.  
  
"Probably right," Sandy nodded.  
  
Trey took a long swallow from his cup. "Everything's so fancy here. Iced coffee," he said, tapping his cup. "You'd get your ass kicked in Chino carrying this around."  
  
Sandy could tell Trey was working up to something. Sandy almost didn't want to hear it. But he had made himself into a mediator for Ryan in both his adoptive and biological family's eyes. And it was the least he could do for the kid.  
  
"Anyway, I know I fucked up. And I can't honestly promise you that I won't fuck up again. I'm a bona fide Atwood and fucking up comes with the territory," Trey started slowly. "But I can promise you that I love my little brother and no matter how you dress him up and what name you call him, he's always going to be my little brother." He took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm listening," Sandy said after a beat.  
  
"Having that said, I wanted to talk to you about what I'm going to do if I get early release. I know it's been in the back of your head since the beginning and I know you and Caleb have been walking on eggshells around the subject because of Ry. He hates seeing me locked up. He's seen so many other people locked up, his Dad, his mom a few times, me a few times...and he acts like he can do everything on his own, and he does his best – but he's just a kid. And the home we grew up in was a mess – he never got to live like a kid, but he's still a kid. I'm not a kid anymore," Trey added. "And thanks to you and your wife, and all Ry's new extended family, his real family, I don't really have to worry about him like I used to. And you guys take better care of him than I do."  
  
Sandy wasn't sure what Trey was saying but he didn't want to stop him.  
  
"I don't want Ryan to stress out and worry about what I'm going to do, or what I'm going to want from him when I get out. I need to start taking care of myself now, too. I fucked up and got arrested and left Ryan on his own. That was my mistake and I can't take it back and now I'm on my own. You and Caleb really helped me out, but you don't owe me anything. And I've got a plan, that doesn't involve anything illegal. Except for the fat joint I'm going to smoke when I finally get off probation," Trey added, his eyes drifting off for a moment in anticipation before he shook it off. "I don't think I'll be able to make it in Newport. Ryan has a support system here, I don't. But I do in Chino. Eddie, he's getting a house with Teresa and I'm going to take his apartment so he doesn’t have to break his lease and I'm going to work at the garage he works at. And Teresa's working at George's and she said he's willing to take me on as a busboy and backup cook, if I can learn it."  
  
"Seems like you've been thinking about this a lot," Sandy replied, impressed.  
  
"Ry and I had plans for when he turned 16. He'd get emancipated and we'd get a place together. But he doesn't belong in Chino anymore. He's happier here than I've ever seen him. And that's all I want for him – to be happy. I'm not going to fuck this up for him. It's time I start living an honest life so I can be around to buy Ryan's first beer when he turns 21 – so I can see him graduate from school, so I can be somebody he won't have to worry about getting shot in a robbery or something," Trey finished, lighting a cigarette.  
  
"It sounds like a good plan, Trey. How do you think Ryan's going to feel about it? Even though the two of you had an argument, I know he still really cares about you."  
  
"Just because I'm going to live in Chino doesn't mean he can't care about me. Ryan knows me better than anyone and he knows that me in Newport is kind of like putting a square peg in a round hole. He's always been good with manners and shit, and I don't have any idea where he got it from because it sure as hell didn't work like that at our house. I won't last a month in a place like this before hitting on the wrong chick, or using the wrong fork or dropping the f-bomb with somebody important," Trey said. "Ryan's got to move on and so do I. Doesn't mean we'll stop being family, because he's all I've got – but we won't be as dependent on each other."  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" Sandy asked. "Why not talk to Ryan first?"  
  
"I wanted you to know. Thought maybe you could explain things to your wife, see if it would get her to lighten up on me a little. Show her that I'm not out to take Ryan from her, that I don't want anything from him or her family more than I've already been given," Trey said.  
  
"That go for Hailey, too?" Sandy asked carefully.  
  
Trey eyed him, surprised but wary.  
  
"Process of elimination. Humor me," Sandy said.  
  
"If there's one thing I've learned about Hailey, it's that she loves Ryan much more than she likes having sex with me. I like Hailey, but I realize that it's just sex between us, we have chemistry together, but nothing in common. Ryan's separate. He's always going to be my little brother and he's always going to be her brand new nephew even if me and her hate each other's guts in the end. I don't want anything from her other than what she's offered me."  
  
"That's probably more about Hailey that I needed to know but I appreciate the clarification," Sandy said. "And you've got a good plan, one I think Ryan will come around to after hearing it from you." He leaned forward. "My offer still stands as well, Trey. As long as you keep your nose clean, we won't have any problems helping you out. But everything changes if you start doing things that'll land you in jail, or be dangerous for Ryan to be exposed to."  
  
"I got it. But just so you know, if I do get arrested, you're the only lawyer I know," Trey smirked. "Mind giving me a lift back to the prison?"  
  
"No problem. I'll talk things over with Kirsten and one day next week, we'll get you an extended pass and have you over for dinner so you can talk to Ryan face to face," Sandy said.  
  
"All right. Kirsten doesn't know about Hailey, does she?" Trey asked hesitantly.  
  
"Oh no. Better keep that amongst ourselves, okay?" Sandy said.  
  
"Fine with me," Trey agreed.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked finally, sensing that Sadie was not into the making out as much as usual after a few minutes of kissing. Zach and Lindsay had gone out to eat at some restaurant where Zach had made reservations and Ryan had been looking forward to the alone time with Sadie.  
  
“Nothing,” Sadie said, unconvincingly.  
  
“Nothing,” Ryan repeated.  
  
She sighed. “I just haven’t ever heard you talk so much before about yourself as you did in the car. You’ve got a lot of issues up in the air. And it just doesn’t really feel right making out with you when you’ve got so much other stuff going on.”  
  
“That’s exactly why I want to kiss you. When I ‘make out’ with you – I don’t have to worry about anything else, it’s like my mind goes blank,” Ryan said.  
  
“That’s not always necessarily a good thing,” Sadie replied.  
  
Ryan sat up and turned to look at her. “So, seems like we need to talk about stuff. And I thought I was going to have a relaxed weekend off,” he muttered.  
  
“We are going to have a nice weekend off. But I do think we need to talk some more,” Sadie said.  
  
“What was it, the fact that my brother’s a convicted felon? Or is it the money?” Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
Sadie shifted. “I’ve dated guys with felonious brothers and sisters, hell, my ex is in jail right now, and it’s not that…but I’ve never dated a guy with money. But that's not it either.”  
  
“I’ve never had money. I’m not just some rich kid, Sadie…” Ryan said, focusing on her slight confession first and hoping it was the root of the problem.  
  
“But your parents are rich. Kirsten and Jimmy are great, but you…you’re way out of my league, you know?” Sadie said.  
  
“No, I don’t know,” Ryan replied. “I don’t care what tax bracket you’re from. I just care about you, and hanging out with you – taking you out.”  
  
“But you’re going to have to go to those fancy parties, wear a tux…and I’ll have to wear some recycled bridesmaid dress or something,” Sadie frowned.  
  
“My last girlfriend borrowed something…”  
  
“I’m not going to those parties with you. I don’t really like a lot of the stuff the upper class gets away with. I really like you, but I won’t go to those parties and I won’t pretend to support stuff I don’t agree with,” Sadie said. She shifted uncomfortably. "But that's not it, Ryan, I have no doubt that we can work that shit out. But...Johnny and his mom are thinking of moving because of the cost of living around here. Even though they’re not actually inside the Newport city limits, it’s still a stretch.”  
  
“Oh,” Ryan said. Was she really saying this? Was he cursed to always pick girls that would leave him? Hell, both of his mothers had left him, it must be his birthright.  
  
“I really like you, like, more than I’ve liked anyone else in a long time. You drive me wild and as long as I live here, I’m going to be trying to get you into bed,” Sadie said. “But we need to be honest with each other.”  
  
“Okay. If I’m supposed to be honest…I don’t want to date another girl that’s just going to leave,” Ryan replied quietly. “So, I’m glad you told me.”  
  
“It’s not definite, Ryan,” Sadie said.  
  
“But you’ve been thinking about it. Talking about it with your aunt and with Johnny, right?” Ryan asked. She put her arm around him and they lay back on the bed, but he didn’t want to look at her and kept his eyes on the ceiling.  
  
“Yeah. I have. I just came here to help out. My Mom’s been calling to ask me when I’m coming home.”  
  
“You came because you were getting over your ex, too,” Ryan added. “Are you over him now?”  
  
“Wasn’t I your rebound, too?” Sadie asked him.  
  
“You're not a rebound, you’re not some just chick I wanted to fuck,” Ryan replied.  
  
“I’m well aware of that,” Sadie replied teasingly, “since you won’t give it up. But you still talk to Alex, don’t you?”  
  
“Not since I started going out with you. She’s seeing some football player,” Ryan replied. “We’re still friends.” He finally turned to her. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. “I guess it’s a good thing we decided to wait.”  
  
“We don’t have to wait…”  
  
“If you’re not breaking up with me right now, I’m breaking up with you. I can’t get invested in another relationship that’s going to end with the girl leaving me. I like you, Sadie, but I’m not going to ask you to stay. I can't put you up, and I don't want you dropping out of school or having to work your ass off to pay your rent. I can't do this again.”  
  
“Well, we were taking it slow anyway. And if we were to keep dating and if I were to keep liking you as much as I do right now, I might be willing to stay. But I can take care of myself." Sadie said. “Don’t you think that we deserve a chance to fall in love? See where we are in a few months?”  
  
“What about my family’s money?”  
  
“That’s one of the things I have to deal with. And you have to deal with the fact that our relationship might...move into the long-distance phase at some point,” she said quietly.  
  
Ryan didn’t want to pretend to be able to handle the long distance thing. He closed his eyes. “I’m not doing the long distance thing. I’m sixteen. I want a normal girlfriend that I can take out on Friday nights and not worry about where she’s going to take off to on Monday morning. I want a girlfriend that’s willing to go to those uncomfortable fancy parties that I have to go to because of my Mom and Dad. I want a girlfriend who wants to be with me because she likes me, and not just because she wants to see how good I really am in bed.” He sighed. “If the sex is all you’re after, then we’ve really wasted a lot of time.”  
  
“God, I didn’t bring this up to ruin what we have, Ryan. I really like you. A lot. I really like hanging out with you and talking to you and kissing you. And if I just wanted to get you into bed, I would have fucked you already. I didn’t bring this up looking for a break up, I just wanted you to know that I might not be in Newport permanently.”  
  
Ryan shook his head. “I thought you were in school.” He should have considered this. He felt blindsided.  
  
“I am, and the summer’s going to be the soonest that anything actually happens. Can’t we just enjoy the next couple of months like we are right now and then deal with the rest?” Sadie asked, running her hand across his chest.  
  
Ryan took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can do that.”  
  
“So…you’re breaking up with me because there’s a chance I might not be here in a couple of months?” Sadie asked. “You don’t like me enough to stick it out?”  
  
“I need to think,” Ryan sighed.  
  
“I shouldn’t have told you," she whispered, hurt.  
  
“I’m glad you told me,” Ryan replied. “But I, sort of, went through this with my last girlfriend. And I was willing to do the long distance thing with her, but we decided that it wasn’t fair to either of us. And now, with you leaving…why is it going to be any easier for the two of us?” he asked.  
  
“Because you loved her and you don’t love me, yet,” Sadie said quietly.  
  
Ryan sighed, putting his arm around her despite his conflicted feelings. “God, I hate talking this much about shit. But you started it.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to feel like. I mean, I know the first girl I was ever with...I know that I cared about her more than anyone else before or since…but we were kids and she’s with someone else now. And I know that losing her broke my heart. I don't get that close with people because it's just a matter of time before people...leave. I got close with Alex, I took a chance and I lost again. And now...I find another great girl I like and she's telling me that it's only a matter of time before she leaves me, too...I can't do it again, Sadie. I'd rather have another friend than another ex-girlfriend."  
  
Sadie sighed heavily. "So it's over. We're not dating, we're just friends now? What if I can't accept that?"  
  
"I need to think."  
  
"No, we need to talk. Come to some sort of consensus – I refuse to let this conversation ruin our relationship before we even get started," Sadie said.  
  
Then Ryan had an idea that would solve everything. “What if we throw this whole girlfriend-boyfriend thing out the window. We can be friends. Friends with benefits. No pesky declarations of love, no strings, just good times and good sex and we take things as they come. That would settle everything,” he suggested.  
  
She was surprised. “So, you’re going from waiting to have sex with me because you care about me to wanting to have sex with me because you don’t want to care about me anymore? I think I should probably be insulted…”  
  
“Probably?” Ryan asked, pushing his luck.  
  
She leaned over and kissed him. “I’m willing to take it. Friends with benefits is better than nothing, and we’ll have this conversation again in a few weeks, okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” he said, kissing her back. But it wasn’t the same. Not now. She was just temporary.  
  
But he wanted to enjoy the sex while he could.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sadie had thought maybe that it was going to work out. The sex had been amazing and Ryan seemed to be in a good mood the next morning when she met her friends for breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant.  
  
He was acting like everything was all right, anyway.  
  
But a couple of times when she’d looked at him without letting him know, she could see that he was hiding his real feelings behind his good mood.  
  
She hadn’t meant to hurt him. She thought she was doing the right thing, that he’d have been more pissed off if she didn’t tell him and found out about it down the line.  
  
Hell, she thought he’d have asked about it before. Her life in Newport had always been temporary, she was just here to help Johnny and his Mom.  
  
She hadn’t known she’d meet a guy that she’d fall in love with.  
  
She hadn’t meant to hurt him. She wanted him to ask her to stay.  
  
She should’ve known after hearing about his ex that he wasn’t going to take it well. But they were lovers now, surely that had to make a difference?  
  
She was afraid now that it did make a difference. Just not the difference she wanted.  
  
The flea market was bigger than she’d expected and she forced herself to put her worries aside and try to enjoy herself.  
  
They made it through the clothes first, laughing and modeling outrageous outfits for each other. Lindsay blushed bright red when Ryan teased her with a red teddy but he’d blushed just as red when Zach tried to convince him to buy the matching red bikini briefs.  
  
She was having fun.  
  
They split up when they got to the jewelry and trinkets section, Ryan and Zach going to look at the electronics and video games with plans to meet up with her and Lindsay for lunch.  
  
As soon as the boys were out of sight, Lindsay started questioning her. “So, what’s going on with you two?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean, Ryan told Zach this morning that you guys were breaking up. But it seems like you both got lucky last night, and I know you were waiting,” Lindsay started.  
  
Sadie sighed. “He said we broke up?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s why I’m so confused,” Lindsay replied.  
  
“Well, I’m confused now, too. I told him that when the semester’s over, I might be moving home with my mom. I came here to help out my aunt and she’s back on her feet now, and she’s probably going to be moving to, and my mom’s giving me crap about staying here instead of coming home. I didn’t want him to find out when Johnny’s mom sells her house, I wanted him to be prepared.”  
  
“His last girlfriend moved away, too. He didn’t take it well?”  
  
“Not really. Says he won’t ask me to stay with him, and doesn’t want to date me if I’m leaving. He decided we’d make better fuckbuddies than boyfriend-girlfriend,” Sadie confessed.  
  
“Whoa. That’s a little twisted. If you’re going out, he won’t sleep with you, but if you’re not dating he will? What’s that all about?” Lindsay asked.  
  
“I don’t know. But I do know that we’ll be having a lot more conversations once we’re back on home turf,” Sadie decided. “I really like him, but he’s being a real drama queen over this.”  
  
“Maybe he just wanted to get you into bed,” Lindsay offered.  
  
“I don’t know what he’s thinking. I just want this to work. He’s a great guy and I don’t want to lose him like this, you know?” she asked.  
  
Lindsay nodded. “You won’t lose him. You guys will work it out.”  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Jimmy recognized Ryan’s cell phone number on his display and immediately closed the spreadsheet he was working on and picked up the phone. “Hey, kid. How’s San Diego?”  
  
“It’s cool. They have lots of stuff for sale but I haven’t bought much. Few things for the girls, and some toys for Seth. Do you have a minute?”  
  
“Sure, always for you, son,” Jimmy said, feeling warm all over that Ryan had called to talk to him. “Everything all right?”  
  
“I don’t know what I’m doing…like it all made sense last night, but today…I think I messed up.”  
  
“But you’re okay?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s not an emergency or anything.”  
  
“Something happen with Sadie?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Yeah. Like, she spelled stuff out to me last night. She’s just in Newport to help Johnny and his Mom after her divorce. And things settled down and her Mom wants her to come home. So at the end of the semester, she’s going to be leaving. It’s like Alex all over again…I mean, if I’d really thought about what she was doing here, I would’ve known but she made a point to spell it out because we…we really like each other.”  
  
“And you don’t want to go through losing another girl you care about,” Jimmy said. He was confused as to why Ryan considered him the “relationship advice” parent but he wasn’t about to miss out on it if it meant Ryan would confide in him.  
  
“Exactly. So I tried to break it off…”  
  
“But you like her,” Jimmy protested.  
  
“I know, but she’s leaving. Why waste the next couple of months when she’s just going to leave?”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“Like I said, I tried to break it off but it didn’t work because she doesn’t want to break up. She wants us to give it a try. Says she’ll consider staying if we work out, but I don’t want to be the reason she stays if she’s got a family that cares about her back home.”  
  
“What did you do?” Jimmy asked, sensing there was more to come.  
  
“We slept together.”  
  
Now Jimmy was really confused.  
  
“Decided to be ‘friends with benefits’ instead of dating.”  
  
“That logic doesn’t really make much sense, kid,” Jimmy said honestly.  
  
“I get that. Today. Made lots of sense last night. And today we’re acting like everything’s okay and I just…I don’t know what to do. It’s like I failed the rebound test or something,” Ryan said. “I wanted this trip to be fun and not all stressful but I was thinking about Trey all the way down and now I’m thinking about Sadie and I just…I just sort of want to come home and start the whole weekend over,” Ryan sighed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I know you were looking forward to a break from Newport.”  
  
“A break from drama, not necessarily Newport.”  
  
Jimmy smiled to himself. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“I was hoping you’d have some fascinating advice to give me,” Ryan replied.  
  
“I wish I did. But you’ve been doing pretty well on your own when it comes to the ladies. You’re sixteen, not 25, there’s no reason every girl you date has to be long term. If it turns out that it’s meant to be, you guys will work it out. But don’t throw something good away just because of Sadie’s admission,” Jimmy said.  
  
Ryan took a deep breath.  
  
“How was that?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“All right. Definitely something to think about.”  
  
“Glad to be of service. You going to stay the rest of the day?”  
  
“Yeah. It’s not that bad. I’ll make it work. Thanks for listening.”  
  
“I mean it when I say any time. I’ll see you when you get back.”  
  
“Thanks, Jimmy.”  
  
He hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. He hoped he was being a good dad. He’d never had a teenager before, luckily the girls had a few years. And the sex issue was not something he was accustomed to tackling.  
  
“What are you doing?” Julie asked, standing in the door to his office.  
  
“Oh. Just got off the phone with Ryan. Called from San Diego,” Jimmy replied.  
  
“Everything all right?” she asked.  
  
“Just girl drama,” Jimmy replied.  
  
“And he called you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“I know, it’s weird, isn’t it?” Jimmy laughed.  
  
She walked over and pushed his rolling chair back and sat down on his lap. “He just trusts your judgment since you’re married to a porn star,” she teased.  
  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Once they’d shopped until they couldn’t shop anymore, they checked out of the hotel and loaded up the car with their bags.  
  
Ryan gave Zach a look and his friend immediately took Lindsay aside to give him some talking time with Sadie in the parking lot.  
  
She looked at him expectantly when she realized they were alone. “What’s up?”  
  
“I think I need to apologize. I overreacted last night. I wasn’t expecting you to be planning on leaving,” he said. “I should have expected it, but I was enjoying our time together so much that I wasn’t thinking ahead. But I still like you…and I really enjoyed our time together last night…and I don’t know if I want to break up anymore.”  
  
Sadie looked at him, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“I mean, I want to be more than a friend with benefits. If you still want to.”  
  
“I do. I mean, if you’re okay with it. But if we’re dating…can we still have sex?” she teased, but she was visibly more relaxed after his admission.  
  
“Yeah, I think we can do that. And since we’re dating again, I think we can actually do it a lot more often,” he smiled, pulling her in for a kiss.  
  
“That was easy. I thought you were going to keep pouting and pretending to hate me,” Sadie smiled.  
  
“It’s hard to hate you. We’ll work something out. I mean, you might hate me by the time Johnny’s mom sells her house. But that’s months away. Let’s enjoy the time we have together and figure out the rest as we go,” Ryan said. “I can’t commit to a long-distance relationship, but I can commit to the relationship we have now.”  
  
“That’s enough for me,” Sadie said, kissing him again. “I’m really glad you came around.”  
  
“Me, too,” Ryan said. But he wasn’t sure if he meant it. He’d done the same damn thing with Alex and he still missed her. But Jimmy had made sense, too.  
  
“So, pow wow done?” Lindsay asked, walking up with Zach’s arm around her.  
  
“Yep. Everybody take their bathroom break?” Ryan asked.  
  
“We’re good to go,” Zach answered.  
  
“All right, let’s head back,” Ryan said, climbing into the car.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Caleb was on the patio with Kirsten when Ryan got home, having already dropped off the other kids at their houses.  
  
“Hey, did you have a good time?” Kirsten asked, giving him a welcome hug as he sat down at the table with them.  
  
Caleb was pleased at how comfortable Ryan was with his mom.  
  
Ryan shrugged. “It was nice. Little bumpy last night, but everything’s okay now. We had fun.”  
  
“Really? What kind of bumps?” Kirsten asked. “You and Sadie okay?”  
  
“Yeah, we are now. It’s cool, nothing to worry about,” he added. “Anything happen while I was gone?”  
  
“You were just gone one day, but I’m sure Seth and the girls will tell you that you missed lots,” Kirsten smiled. “They’re awfully quiet, I better go check on them,” she added, going into the house.  
  
“I brought them presents, that’s why they’re quiet,” Ryan said. “I’m actually glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you.”  
  
“That’s always intriguing. What can the old man do for you?” Caleb asked.  
  
“My friends and I were talking on the way down, and I’ve been thinking and I think I need to actually sit down and find out what kind of money comes with the Nichol or Cooper or whatever name I’m supposed to have,” Ryan said.  
  
“Oh. Are you considering changing your name?” Caleb asked, pondering Ryan’s question by distracting him with another question. Sandy, Kirsten and Jimmy had all taken their turns trying to get Ryan to discuss his trust fund but until now, he’d refused to talk about it.  
  
“One step at a time. And what would I change it to, anyway?” Ryan asked. “I don’t even want to bring that up when everything’s working so well so far,” he said.  
  
“All right. Let’s go into Sandford’s office and I can show you the numbers,” Caleb said, walking inside with him. He winked at Kirsten who gave him a curious glance as they passed her, hoping that would calm her down.  
  
“Thanks. I still feel weird about all this, but…I am sort of in this for the long haul and I shouldn’t ignore it. It’s not going to make it go away.”  
  
“And we don’t want money to go away,” Caleb added. “That would not be good for any of us.” He found the file that the accountants had prepared in one of the unlocked drawers of the desk and opened it. “What would you like to know?”  
  
“I have a trust fund, what’s that include?” Ryan asked uncomfortably.  
  
“Your trust fund right now only has about 50 grand in it, that’s including Jimmy’s family’s portion. Once you turn 18, you’ll have access to the rest of it, and it adds up to about a half a million dollars, give or take. And once you turn 21, you’ll have access to the trust fund set up by me which ups the ante a little. I gave you the same amount as I plan on giving Seth and Hailey’s kids, god forbid she ever have any,” Caleb said.  
  
“And that includes what?” Ryan asked.  
  
Caleb didn’t want to say it out loud so he pushed the file across the desk.  
  
Ryan’s eyes widened. “Wait…”  
  
“I’m not just scraping by, Ryan. I make millions of dollars every year and there’s no way I’d be able to spend it all. It’s meant for my children, and their children. I worked my ass off to get where I am and I only want the best for my kids and their kids.”  
  
“And this…this will be mine?” Ryan asked, closing the file.  
  
“Yes. It is yours. Inheritance is for a different talk after I'm dead, this is what you have now, or will have when you turn of age. Whether you want it or not, it’s yours. I hope you won’t spend it all in one place or spend it as freely as Hailey spends hers, but I do want you to take it - no questions asked. You’re supposed to complain about not having enough money, not having too much,” Caleb said.  
  
“I guess,” Ryan said.  
  
“So you’re okay with this?”  
  
“I guess,” he repeated.  
  
“Guessing is not good enough,” Caleb said after a beat.  
  
“So…if I wanted to buy, like, a motorcycle, I could do that. And if I wanted to go to Amsterdam and smoke lots of pot, I could do that too. I mean with this much money, I could do anything, you know? And you’re giving it to me no strings?” Ryan asked.  
  
“I’m giving it to you because you’re a Nichol. But I don’t think your parents would really approve of either of those expenditures,” Caleb laughed. “But there’s no excuse for you skipping out on college now that you can afford it. And no need for you to work unless you want to. If you're hungry, or need clothes or want to see a band – there's no reason you shouldn't have it. Your life is supposed to be easier here. And this money, it’s your birthright.”  
  
Ryan nodded, closing the file and pushing it across the desk. “Okay.”  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Yeah. Thanks for explaining it. I’ll talk to Kirsten and Jimmy about it soon. It's going to take some getting used to, but...this is my life now. And money...it's a part of it.”  
  
“Good. Now, about that name change,” Caleb teased, storing the file away and standing up.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes, amused. “Don’t push your luck, old man.”  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Ryan? We need to talk to you,” Marissa announced, gripping Seth’s hand and tugging him inside Ryan’s room.  
  
“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, amused. “Evil babysitter aliens?”  
  
“No…you’re our brother, right? And you said we could ask you anything?” Marissa started.  
  
“Yeah, Marissa, I said that but I might not be able to give you the right answers all the time,” Ryan replied, curious yet wary.  
  
“You’re the only one who knows the answers,” Seth said, flushing. “But we don’t want to make you mad.”  
  
“I promise not to get mad,” Ryan said.  
  
“Your other mommy and daddy, the ones you lived with before – they wanted a baby and picked you out?” Marissa asked in a rush. “Or did Kirsten pick them out?”  
  
Oh. They were those kinds of questions. “They wanted a baby and they adopted me after I was just born,” Ryan replied slowly.  
  
“Why did they want a baby if they were just going to be mean to you?” Seth asked. “Didn’t they have Trey?”  
  
“They weren’t always mean. What makes you think they were mean to me?” Ryan asked, wondering where they were getting their information from.  
  
“That man beat you up. You almost died…but you have scars and they’re older than those. And you had to work and they didn’t feed you or give you toys…” Seth let his words fade.  
  
“I got some of these scars by accident. And some from fights I started myself. My parents didn’t…” Ryan’s words faded this time. “What you think is not all true, okay, Seth?”  
  
“Did you know you weren’t their kid?” Marissa asked.  
  
“When I was older, my mom told me…”  
  
Seth interrupted before he could finish. “You never talk about her, its weird hearing you call her that when my mom is your mom.”  
  
“It’s hard for me to think of Kirsten like that just now, Seth. She’s only been my mom a few months and Dawn was my mom for 15 years. One day, I’ll be able to call her that, can you give me some time?” he asked. He turned to Marissa. "Same goes for your daddy."  
  
They both nodded.  
  
“All right. Do you want me to tell you about my childhood?”  
  
“Will you?” Seth asked, eyes wide.  
  
“I would rather you come to me with questions than believe what you hear from other people,” Ryan replied. He was quiet for a long moment, getting his thoughts and words in order. “I grew up in Fresno with my mom and dad and Trey. I was little so I don’t remember much. Trey taught me how to ride a bike there and my mom and dad would play cards with us. Then my dad went away and my mom told me I was adopted. She didn’t know who my real parents were. Then we moved to Chino. My mom dated a lot of different men and not all of them liked kids,” Ryan said.  
  
“Your mom, she didn’t care?” Marissa asked.  
  
“My mom was…she wasn’t really good at doing stuff on her own. She had a lot of problems,” Ryan said carefully.  
  
“You’re not just being nice because you don’t want to say bad things about dead people?” Seth asked.  
  
“No. I loved my mom. Even though she wasn’t that good of a mom, she was the only one I’d ever had and I loved her,” Ryan said.  
  
“Then Dad found you to help me,” Seth said, moving the story along. Ryan was glad for the slight subject change. He didn’t like thinking about his mom and liked talking about her less. He still had a lot of unsettled feelings about her.  
  
“Your dad came to my house and told me that you needed some help,” Ryan nodded.  
  
“Did my daddy really not know about you?” Marissa asked.  
  
“He didn’t know. I met Kirsten and Jimmy at the hospital when I was there to help Seth. That was the first time they’d ever met me. I think Kirsten had told him about me the day before,” Ryan agreed.  
  
“But you didn’t come to stay with Mom or Jimmy, why’d you go to Grandpa’s first? Isn’t he the one that told Mom she had to give you away?” Seth asked.  
  
“Your Mom knows more about that part of my history than I do. Your grandpa just approached me differently than Kirsten and Sandy. Your mom was really worried about you back then and I didn’t want to upset things any more than they already were. Caleb said he lived alone and he was really honest with me from the beginning and I felt more comfortable staying with him while I figured things out,” Ryan said.  
  
“So you don’t hate Kirsten or my Daddy. You’re just getting to know them,” Marissa stated.  
  
“I don't hate them, Marissa, I’m just trying to get used to being a part of your families,” Ryan said.  
  
“I guess they are a lot different than your other Mommy and Daddy,” Seth agreed.  
  
“So, are those all your questions?” Ryan asked, praying to god that it was.  
  
“For now. Thank you for talking to us,” Seth said and Marissa gave him a hug.  
  
Ryan felt exhausted when they scurried from the room, presumably to talk about what he’d said and come up with more questions. He felt like he’d just taken a pop quiz and he wasn’t sure how he’d done.  
  
But this was his life. He had more money than he could count at his disposal and little kids who thought he was their big brother. He had revolving girlfriends and went to private school and was best friends with a senator's kid.  
  
And when he thought back to his life in Chino, it was even more surreal. Dead Mom and AJ, Teresa married to Eddie and having his kid.  
  
This was his life. But he didn't know when it would start actually feeling like it.  
  
He'd never felt like he really belonged, even before he knew he'd been adopted. And once he did know, he just assumed he'd 'fit' with his real family.  
  
Ryan had made up all kinds of scenarios of what his real parents were like. That they'd lost him somewhere and would welcome him home with open arms. They wouldn't fight or drink or hit him, they'd be happy and they'd love him.  
  
But he'd let go of those dreams long before he heard of Newport. Before he knew that Kirsten was a capable and loving mother. Before he knew that Jimmy was a genuinely good father that loved his kids.  
  
He'd let go of those dreams and now that his life had turned into that dream, he couldn't seem to wrap his head around it.  
  
Surely he'd wake up from the hellacious beating AJ had given him soon and realize that it was all a dream.  
  
But he was still here.  
  
"Ryan? You okay?" Kirsten asked. His mother. Her eyes were dark with concern.  
  
"Yeah. A little tired from all the driving, I guess," he replied. "Seth and Marissa just finished interrogating me," he added, figuring suddenly that she'd want to know in case they questioned her next.  
  
Her face flashed with surprise. "Interrogated you? About what? Not the birds and the bees, I hope."  
  
He smiled. "No, thank god. They asked me about my scars, and my mom from Chino. Basically they wanted to know why Dawn would adopt me if she was going to be mean to me," Ryan explained.  
  
Kirsten managed to hide her reaction, but Ryan could see his words had shaken her. "I'm sorry, honey. Seth asked me why I gave you up last night. I thought I had explained things well enough that he wouldn't bother you."  
  
Ryan shrugged. "I should have known they'd have questions. He calls you mom and he wants me to call you that, too, I can't fault him. He's a really good kid."  
  
"I'm still sorry he put you on the spot," she apologized again.  
  
"You know I really like it here, don't you? I mean...I appreciate the chance to be here," Ryan said, needing to say it out loud. "It's just a lot to get used to and I'm still getting used to it."  
  
He glanced at her and she took that as permission to sit down beside him. She took his hand and held it between both of hers. "I'm so happy to have you here, it's all I need. I'm not going anywhere and this family, all of the people that love you – we're not going anywhere. So you take as much time as you need, honey, and we'll still be here when you figure everything out. I let go of you once, I won't make the same mistake again."  
  
"Mommy? Can we have ice cream?" Seth asked, skidding to a halt in the hall with Kaitlyn on his heels.  
  
"No running in the house," she said automatically before turning to him. "Ice cream?"  
  
"Sure," Ryan said, taking a deep breath.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Eddie sat nervously in the car and wished he'd bought another pack of cigarettes before making the drive to Newport. Trey and Arturo were locked up and Ryan lived in this rich place and he was stuck in Chino with Teresa.  
  
He loved Teresa. She was all he needed. But without their friends, they were fighting twice as much as they used to.  
  
Teresa might love him, but she didn't love him as much as she loved Ryan.  
  
The tapping on his window jolted him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Eddie, right? Ryan's friend?"  
  
Eddie recognized the blonde lady that was Ryan's real mom. "Yeah, is it cool that I wait for him? He knows I'm coming."  
  
"Of course, but come inside, you must be hot in the car," she said. "Kirsten," she added, offering her hand to shake.  
  
He brushed off his hand before shaking hers. "Thanks." Weird. He followed her into the house.  
  
"How are you doing?" she asked.  
  
"Good, good. We miss Ryan around there, figured it was time I drove up to see him," Eddie said nervously.  
  
"How's Teresa?" she asked.  
  
"She's good. Getting bigger every day. We can feel the baby kick," Eddie added.  
  
Kirsten smiled kindly at him. "Would you like something to drink? Ryan was picking up Seth and the girls from school and they always manage to convince him to take them places before he gets home."  
  
"Thanks, some water would be good," Eddie replied. He wondered how Ryan ever got used to this after living with Dawn and AJ.  
  
"Kirsten, did Kaitlyn leave my Prada purse over here?" A smoking hot redhead walked in. She paused when she saw him. "Hello."  
  
Eddie knew her from somewhere but didn't mention it. He'd definitely remember her if he'd ever met her.  
  
"This is Eddie, Ryan's friend from Chino. Eddie, this is Julie, Ryan's stepmother, she's married to Jimmy," Kirsten explained.  
  
"You're definitely not in Kansas anymore," Julie greeted him, relaxing visibly.  
  
"I haven't seen your purse, it might be in Seth's room, Rosa's cleaning up now, she'll find it," Kirsten said. "I'll be right back."  
  
"What brings you to Newport, Eddie?" Julie asked, sitting down at the far end of the counter.  
  
"Just here to hang out with Ryan. Talk to him about some stuff," Eddie shrugged.  
  
Julie was studying him with bright green eyes. "You're the boy that's marrying his ex, Teresa, right? She's having your baby, when's she due?"  
  
"A few months. Too soon, it feels like," Eddie said under his breath.  
  
Julie nodded. "She still loves him, doesn't she?" she asked quietly.  
  
"What do you know about it?" Eddie asked, but he immediately needed to find out if Ryan had talked about Teresa and him to these people. If Ryan still loved Teresa, too...she'd leave him. Ryan had cash now, he could support her much easier than Eddie.  
  
Kirsten returned, holding out a fancy purse. "There's nothing in it but a Barbie," she said.  
  
"It was empty, she got it out of my closet," Julie said. "Thanks." She turned back to Eddie. "I know lots about loving someone who's in love with their ex."  
  
Kirsten glared at Julie and Eddie realized that her earlier comment wasn't directed at the actual relationship between Ryan and Teresa.  
  
"It's all about timing, kid," Julie said. "For example, Kirsten and Jimmy may have loved each other, they might have had something so special that nothing else can compare – but what matters is that they weren't compatible. They couldn't make it work, even with all the love they had. And when I met Jimmy, it was all about sex. But we love each other and the timing was right for us and because we love each other in a different way, we make it work. I know Jimmy will always love Kirsten, but I know that he loves me, too and I'm the one he's with."  
  
"Julie," Kirsten was shaking her head.  
  
"Sorry," Julie apologized, but Eddie saw the gleam of mischievousness in her eyes. "But this isn't about us, Kirsten, I'm sorry, this is about Eddie."  
  
"Things aren't going well?" Kirsten asked gently.  
  
"No, they are. We just closed on a house, it's small, but the neighborhood's good and it's close to her mom."  
  
"That's a house, what about...things?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"Has she...does she call for Ryan? Like, do they talk?" Eddie asked.  
  
"Not that I know of," Kirsten replied, turning to Julie.  
  
"Me either. But he's got a cell."  
  
"She misses him. And she's pregnant, so I guess that makes her moody, but I'm doing the best I can...but it doesn't seem like it's enough. I'm not Ryan, I can't fill his shoes," Eddie whispered, unsure of why he was talking to these women. But they seemed nice enough and he knew Ryan trusted them and they were willing to listen.  
  
"Ouch," Julie whispered.  
  
"Last night...last night she called me by his name," Eddie confessed. "And it just...it's messing me up thinking that the only way she'll sleep with me is when she's thinking about him...is that TMI?"  
  
"A little, but it definitely defines the whole situation," Kirsten said, patting his arm and sitting down beside Julie.  
  
“I just don’t know what to do. If we were just dating or something, I’d break up with her, but she’s having my baby, I can’t just walk away. And I love her…” Eddie added.  
  
“Did you talk to her about it?” Kirsten asked.  
  
“I was too pissed off. I stayed at a friend’s house last night. I thought maybe she’d come to work to see me, but she didn’t show up and she didn’t call. I think maybe this was the end.”  
  
“Did she apologize?” Julie asked.  
  
Eddie shrugged. “Sort of. Like, she did after I got out of bed, but until then, I don’t think she even realized what had done.”  
  
“Teresa has got to let go of Ryan before she’s going to be able to be with you,” Julie said softly. “Until she’s ready to do that, you’re in for a whole lot of heartbreak.”  
  
“She left him for me. She broke up with him for me…I thought that meant that she was over him. But then all this stuff happened with you guys and Ryan moving away and it’s like she has this vision of how good things were when he was there…I’m sorry for dumping on you guys,” Eddie said, realizing how much he was actually talking to these ladies without even seeing Ryan yet.  
  
“No, its fine, we won’t tell Ryan anything. Sometimes it’s nice to get an outside perspective on things,” Kirsten said.  
  
“And who knows when we might need some help with one of our cars, you can return the favor,” Julie winked.  
  
“But you’re saying there’s nothing I can do until Teresa comes around,” Eddie said, feeling less stupid after their comments.  
  
“Just be there for her. You shouldn’t stay with someone if they don’t love you, but give her the benefit of the doubt. She might change her mind after the baby’s born. And a fantasy is not the same as a…as a lover. She might think of Ryan, but she’s with you. You’re getting a house with her, she’s having your baby. You’re the one she picked,” Kirsten said.  
  
Eddie took a deep breath. They made a lot of sense for rich housewives.  
  
Ryan appeared with his brother and sisters, the smallest one sitting on his shoulders. “Hey, man, I’m sorry I’m late,” he apologized.  
  
“It’s cool,” Eddie said.  
  
“Come on, let’s go to my room so we don’t get between the munchkins and their after-school snacks,” Ryan said, putting Kaitlyn down.  
  
“Thanks, for listening,” Eddie said, giving the women a nod.  
  
“Good luck,” Julie called.  
  
“What was that all about?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Your moms are really nice,” Eddie said.  
  
Ryan gave him a curious look.  
  
“What? They are,” Eddie smiled.  
  
“Everything all right?”  
  
“It’s actually a lot better now,” Eddie said.  
  
“It’s good to see you,” Ryan said, smiling.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Ryan found himself enjoying his time with Sadie a lot more now that they were committed to each other...and having really good sex.  
  
She was almost as good as Alex in bed, not that he was comparing or anything,  
  
And she was really sweet, sending him smutty text messages while he was in class and making him blush red until Taylor or Zach snapped him out of it.  
  
He thought he might be in love with her. He'd missed having a girlfriend more than he'd thought.  
  
And even as the days passed and they moved closer to the deadline of when Sadie would have to make more permanent living arrangements, he was enjoying their time together too much to stress about it.  
  
Kirsten and Jimmy both seemed to like her and she'd become friends with his friends despite their differing tax brackets.  
  
Sadie still wouldn't accept any of his Newport party invitations.  
  
But what they had was enough to keep him happy.  
  
He liked Newport more with Sadie around.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Jess took a deep breath.  
  
She had to show her mother some results or she was going to be shipped off to that fucking boot camp that she'd seen on Dr. Phil.  
  
She’d made some mistakes in her life, but she hadn’t made the mistake of enlisting so she didn’t think she should have to go to boot camp.  
  
She made sure she was looking better today, dressed conservatively in tight jeans and a low cut shirt, with a tank top underneath so she wouldn’t look like a whore.  
  
She thought back to the day she’d met Ryan Atwood and called him out as a street thug. She still thought she was right on, but after her mother found out how much money the little urchin was worth, she put the word out that he was Jess’ first official mark.  
  
But Jess had already made an impression on him, and it wasn’t one she could remedy overnight, thus the elaborate scheme to get on his good side.  
  
Her mom had found the sex tape about a year earlier and helped her get it up on the internet so her friends could see it. Jess didn’t miss those rich bitches as much as she’d thought she would at first. And if she could bag Ryan, her mother's approval was worth it. Charlotte was a hard woman to please and Jess had to show her some results.  
  
She could learn how to be a golddigger, she would make her mother proud. Her mom had been telling her for years that she was too stupid to do anything else, and that she needed to work on her talents – being sexy and manipulative.  
  
But after the weeks of buildup, of being friendly with Ryan and getting him not to hate her guts, it was time for the plan to roll out in full.  
  
She had to get him into bed.  
  
It wasn’t normally a hard task for her to get a boy to fuck her, but Ryan tried to pretend like he was monogamous and wouldn’t fuck around if he had a girlfriend. She had heard it from the few rich bitches that still talked to her.  
  
She was actually looking forward to the sex part.  
  
But there were more pieces that had to fall into place. Since Ryan had hooked up with another low-rent girlfriend after Alex, Jess had to take care of her first.  
  
And today was the day.  
  
She smiled at Ryan when she took her seat at their lab table. He always drank coffee from the café in the mornings and today was no different.  
  
He was talking about some assignment they were supposed to turn in soon and when he turned to rummage in his bag for something, she pulled the capsule from her pocket and emptied the power into the cup.  
  
There. That would make him sick for a good couple of days.  
  
Plenty of time for her to fix that Sadie bitch and clear the way into Ryan’s pants.  
  
Ryan sat up again with the pen he’d been looking for and took a swallow of the coffee. The first step was done.  
  
Jess was good at this. She’d make her mother proud.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Kirsten answered the phone on it’s third ring, distracted by the horrendous blueprints on her desk. “Kirsten Cohen.”  
  
“Mrs. Cohen, this it Nurse Dailey from Harbor, your son…Ryan, he’s become sick…violently ill, actually, and he’s in no shape to drive home,” the lady’s voice said.  
  
“Oh no, he was fine this morning. I’ll be there as soon as I can, can I talk to him?” Kirsten asked, already packing her things.  
  
“Hold on…”  
  
Kirsten listened to the woman’s kind mumbling for a moment before recognizing Ryan’s hoarse voice. “Kirsten?”  
  
“Honey, I’m on my way to get you, does the nurse think you need to go to the hospital?”  
  
“I don’t think so. I was fine this morning…it just hit me all of a sudden, in third period. I, kind of, threw up in the middle of class…”  
  
“I’m so sorry, honey, hang tight, I’ll be there soon and we’ll get your car later.”  
  
She was worried. Ryan was a healthy kid, apart from his beatings anyway. And after Seth’s battle with cancer, she was on high alert for any sign of sickness in either of her sons. She should have checked his temperature before letting him go to school, she should have made sure to ask him how he felt and got details instead of trusting him to tell her if he wasn’t feeling well.  
  
She took a deep breath when she got off the elevator.  
  
Ryan was not Seth. He wasn’t going to get cancer and almost die. He was a normal healthy teenager with a stomach bug. That was all.  
  
But she still dialed the pediatrician once she was in her car, asking him to come to the house in a couple of hours. Between her father and herself, they paid him well enough to keep him making housecalls.  
  
She called her dad as an afterthought, to let him know why she’d left the office and left Sandy and Jimmy messages to clue them in on what she was doing. She parked in the handicapped space in front in her hurry to get inside.  
  
“Kirsten, thanks for coming so quickly. He seems to have a nasty stomach flu, and the nurse says she hasn’t had any other kids come down with it recently so it’s probably food poisoning,” Dr. Kim said, greeting her in the hallway.  
  
“We all ate the same dinner last night, where is he?” she asked, needing to see him. “The doctor’s coming by later this afternoon if he’s not better.”  
  
Dr. Kim steered her into the nurse’s office where Ryan was sleeping on one of the flimsy cots with a damp washcloth on his forehead. He was pale and slightly green.  
  
Kirsten’s heart was pounding, but she managed to get as much information out of the nurse as possible before leaning over the cot to wake him. “Honey?” she whispered, feeling his cheek.  
  
He opened his eyes immediately and they were glazed as if he had a fever, but his skin was clammy, not hot. “Hey.”  
  
“Let’s get you out of here and home to bed, honey,” she said.  
  
“I have a test in sixth period…”  
  
“You're too sick to stay, you’ll have to make it up. You think you’ll be all right to walk to the car?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah. I think I’ve already thrown up everything I ate today and yesterday," he replied, lowering his legs over the edge of the cot and sitting up slowly.  
  
She put her arm around him and her heart ached when he let her support him from the room and to the car.  
  
She never wanted to see her sons sick. They'd been through enough medical issues to last a lifetime for both of them.  
  
"Thanks for coming to get me," he said, slumping down against the seat belt when she got in.  
  
"Try and relax, we'll be home soon and I'll make you something that will soothe your stomach," she said.  
  
"You'll make it?" he asked, smiling wanly.  
  
"Rosa will make it," she replied, grateful he felt good enough to attempt a joke.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Come on, Sadie, it'll be fun, I promise," Taylor said, her eyes wide with the plea.  
  
"Did you not hear me when I said Ryan was sick? I want to take him some chicken soup...or some Mylanta..." Sadie replied.  
  
"But Johnny won't go unless you go..." Taylor said.  
  
Sadie rolled her eyes. Johnny's mom had caught Taylor and Johnny having sex in the car a few days earlier and had grounded Johnny from going out without Sadie going, too.  
  
"Please, Sadie?" Johnny asked, not quite whining.  
  
She sighed. "Where is so important?"  
  
Taylor pulled the invitation from her pocket. "It's a rave, everybody's been talking about it, but only a few people get the invite with the location on it," she replied. "I really want to go..."  
  
She sighed again.  
  
"Ryan told you not to come over in case he was contagious, didn't he?" Taylor asked.  
  
"Fine. But the minute one of you gets too fucked up, we're leaving, got it?" Sadie replied.  
  
"Yay! Thanks, Sadie, we'll have a good time, I promise," Taylor squealed.  
  
She called Ryan before she actually started getting dressed, but his mom said he was asleep and she didn't want to wake him since he'd been throwing up all afternoon.  
  
Kirsten didn't seem to think she should come over so she resigned herself to getting dressed for the rave in jeans and a shiny low-cut shirt under a jacket since it was outside.  
  
She wasn't looking for a man, but she still wanted to look good.  
  
She drove with Taylor riding shotgun as navigator and she was relieved to find out that Lindsay and Zach were coming along. She liked Taylor well enough, but she knew Lindsay better and Taylor without a buffer was nerve-wracking with her cousin along.  
  
The rave was already packed with people and all thought of conversation was lost in the deafening techno.  
  
Taylor pulled Johnny into the crowd of dancers while Sadie, Lindsay and Zach drifted to the edge of the canopied area on the beach to find drinks.  
  
The DJ wasn't that bad and even though she wasn’t a fan of techno, some of the tracks were pretty good and Zach and Lindsay got over their initial shellshock and went to find Johnny and Taylor on the dance floor.  
  
She was cool with being 'home base'. She'd stake her claim on this seat so her friends could find her when they needed a 'rave break'.  
  
A few guys wandered past her, a couple even flashing packets of pills at her in offering.  
  
But she wasn't going to take any drugs unless Ryan was here to enjoy it with her.  
  
"Sadie, right?" a guy asked, walking up with a cup in his hand.  
  
She vaguely recognized him. "Kyle? Aren't you in my trig class?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah – I came with some friends, but this isn't really my scene," he said.  
  
She knew he had a girlfriend and he didn’t seem to be flirting so she moved her jacket and purse out of the seat beside her, giving him the invitation to sit down.  
  
"Thanks, I'm the designated driver tonight so it's cool for me to have someone not intoxicated to talk to," he said.  
  
"I hope my friends don't get too wasted," Sadie agreed.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"What did the doctor say?" Caleb asked Sandy when he arrived at their house.  
  
"He's in with them now," Sandy replied. "I think he's taking some blood, the kid's really sick and nothing they're giving him is helping."  
  
Caleb was worried. Something about this didn't sit right. "Did you call Trey to ask him if it could be an allergy or something?"  
  
"He talked to the doctor, but nothing matched up," Sandy replied.  
  
"I went to the bank today," Caleb said, ignoring Sandy's confused expression from the subject change. "Someone's been inquiring about our finances, or more specifically – Ryan's finances. Claimed they were with social services, but you and I know that they have no reason to be asking questions anymore," Caleb continued.  
  
"Did you get a name?"  
  
"I've put some private investigators on it, to see if anyone's been asking questions anywhere else."  
  
"Who would gain from poisoning him?" Sandy replied after a beat. "I mean, is that what you're suggesting?"  
  
"I don't know – and I'm not suggesting anything...I don't even know why I said anything...it just strikes me as strange," Caleb replied.  
  
"Never ignore a gut feeling, Cal, and I'll ask the doctor to run some tests. You're right, though, it doesn't make sense..." Sandy replied. "Social services wouldn't call the bank. But why would anyone want to make him sick?"  
  
Kirsten stepped out with the doctor and Sandy led him away leaving Caleb to talk to his daughter.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"Sleeping again, the doctor gave him something. Something's definitely going on worse than food poisoning," she said, letting him embrace her.  
  
\---------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
  
Jess forced herself not to gag on Kyle's dick in her mouth despite his attempts to choke her in the blow job she owed him for taking her plan to get with Ryan to the next step.  
  
He let out a moan and she pulled her head back and stroked his cock until he shot his load in her hand with a grunt.  
  
"All right, show me the pictures," she said, pulling a Kleenex from her purse and cleaning up before getting to her feet.  
  
He zipped up his pants and handed her the digital camera she'd loaned him. "I didn't fuck her, but its close enough," he said.  
  
"I didn't want you to pull a date rape, I wanted her to be into it," Jess replied, wondering if paying Kyle to slip Sadie the drugs was a mistake.  
  
"Oh, she's into it...she might not have called my name when she was taking off her clothes, but the video doesn't have sound," Kyle smirked.  
  
"She..."  
  
"Gave me a very nice striptease, God knows I wanted to fuck her, but since she won't remember much of it, I didn't want to go too far. What are you going to do with the video?"  
  
"Show it to her boyfriend, discreetly. Your face isn't in this is it?" she asked as an afterthought.  
  
"A little, but I don't know him, do I?" he asked.  
  
"No, but he might try to kick your ass so you might want to lay low for a few days."  
  
"With this cash, I'm going on vacation," Kyle said. "You need any more help, give me a call."  
  
"Yeah," she snorted, jumping as he slapped her ass on his way out.  
  
Now, to get the tape to someone who would show it to Ryan without connecting her to it.  
  
It was convoluted and her mom didn't really like the direction she'd taken it, but if she wanted Ryan to believe it, she had to make it as real as she could.  
  
She had proof that Sadie had stripped for some random guy after she got drunk at a rave – they were surely to be broken up by the end of the weekend and she'd have a free pass to the million dollar bastard's bed.  
  
\----------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
The doctor returned a couple of hours after he'd left, clutching his doctor's bag and followed by a nurse. He stepped into Ryan's room without knocking.  
  
"Kirsten, Sandy, can I talk to you? Nurse Harris is going to hook Ryan up to an IV," the doctor said, his face serious.  
  
"Did you find out what's wrong?" Kirsten asked before Sandy could.  
  
"Let's talk out here, first," the doctor said.  
  
Sandy took Kirsten's hand and they stood up. Kirsten paused long enough to wake Ryan with a gentle touch and a whisper that they'd be right back.  
  
From the grateful blink of the kid's sunken eyes, he knew that Ryan appreciated Kirsten's mothering.  
  
The nurse was talking to Ryan kindly as Sandy led Kirsten into the hall.  
  
"Ryan has traces of a poisonous plant in his system, from the preliminary tests, it seems to be wisteria, not enough to kill him but enough to make him very very sick," the doctor said.  
  
"Wisteria...the flower?" Sandy asked.  
  
"I don't think we have any of that in our garden, Dad's either...where would he have come into contact with it?" Kirsten replied.  
  
"He didn't just come into contact with it, he ingested it, probably in powdered form. He doesn't seem like the type of kid to go around eating flowers," the doctor said.  
  
Sandy caught Caleb's eyes from behind the doctor in the hall. "What are you saying, Hank?"  
  
"I'm saying that I think someone poisoned Ryan. Not enough to kill him, but enough to make him sick. Has he eaten all his meals with you? Do you know of anyone who would deliberately make him sick?"  
  
Kirsten was shaking her head. "He...He eats here, or at Dad's or at Jimmy's..."  
  
"He's purged his system of most of the toxin already due to the vomiting and I don't think we need to give him any emetics, instead we're going to try and balance his electrolytes and help him recover from the dehydration. I'm hooking him up to an IV and we're going to keep him on clear fluids for the next few hours and see if there's any improvement. The only treatment for something like this is to flush the system and his body did that mostly on his own," the doctor said.  
  
Kirsten glanced at him and he put his arm around her trembling shoulders. "Doctor, is there any way to find out when he got the toxin from?"  
  
"The effects usually take effect a couple of hours after ingestion...when did he get sick?"  
  
"At school," Kirsten said. "But we ate breakfast together, Seth and Ryan have this habit of pouring two different kinds of cereal and then trading halfway through, and Seth's not sick..." she whispered.  
  
Sandy kissed her cheek. "He's going to be okay, Kirsten, don’t panic."  
  
"Somebody poisoned my son...when should I panic?" she replied.  
  
"Let's find out all the facts first, Kiki," Caleb said. "Ryan's recovery is our first priority."  
  
She nodded, steadying herself tangibly under Sandy's arm.  
  
"Let's talk to Ryan and see what he can tell us," the doctor said.  
  
Ryan was sitting up and watching the nurse hang the bag of saline from the bedpost, the IV securely taped to the top of his hand.  
  
"How're you doing, kid?" Sandy asked, moving to stand behind Kirsten who had taken the seat close by his bed.  
  
"I haven't thrown up for a few hours...so better," he replied hoarsely. "What's with this?" He motioned to the IV.  
  
"The doctor thinks he knows what's causing this," Kirsten said.  
  
Ryan's eyes lit up with curiosity. "What?"  
  
"Ryan, you've ingested a poison, you have traces of wisteria in your system, it's a plant that contains toxins," the doctor said.  
  
"Do you have any idea where you would have gotten something like that?" Sandy asked.  
  
"Wisteria? I've never heard of it. I think the botany chapter is coming up in a couple of weeks," Ryan replied. "I don't really eat...flowers."  
  
"It would have been a few hours before you got sick. You had breakfast here, did you have anything else to eat or drink before you got sick?" Sandy asked.  
  
Ryan shifted in bed, his jaw grinding. "I had coffee from the coffee shop. And I had a couple of bites of Taylor's English muffin, but she didn't get sick and I saw her take it out of the package..."  
  
"Did you put your coffee down anywhere?" Caleb asked.  
  
Ryan glanced at him. "You think somebody slipped me something?"  
  
"We're just trying to find the source, Ryan, so this doesn't happen again," Sandy replied.  
  
"I got the coffee like I do every morning...I sat in the lounge with Zach, Lindsay and Taylor until the bell rang and then I went to chemistry. I finished the coffee in Chem and tossed it out when I left."  
  
"You have chemistry with...Jess Sathers, right?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"Yeah, she's my lab partner, but we're friends, she wouldn't do this," Ryan said. "And if it wasn't supposed to kill me, why would anyone do this?"  
  
"We don't know, and we don't want to jump to any conclusions just yet. Chemistry labs all have different things around, are you allowed to drink in that class?" the doctor asked.  
  
"Everything's locked up, he puts signs up if we're messing with poisonous stuff so we know not to bring food or drinks in," Ryan replied. "And my coffee had a top on it..."  
  
Kirsten reached over and rubbed his arm. "All right, Ryan. You're exhausted, why don't you try to sleep while the doctor runs some more tests and your body absorbs this fluid. I don't want you to worry about anything right now besides getting better."  
  
"But if you think somebody's trying to poison me..." Ryan started.  
  
"Then you're safest right here," Sandy said. "We'll figure it out." He was grateful when Ryan seemed to respond to his words and relaxed against the pillows with a muted sigh.  
  
"Just rest, honey, I'll stay with you while the doctor checks you out," Kirsten said.  
  
Sandy followed Caleb into the hall. "What are you thinking?"  
  
"I don't understand any of this. Jess Sathers is just a kid, and while her mom's a golddigging bitch, I don't think the girl would have any reason to poison Ryan. I think we're missing something here," Caleb said.  
  
\-----------------------------  
  
"Lindsay!"  
  
She sat up with a jolt, startled as Sadie skidded to a halt in her bedroom. "Sadie? Did Mom let you in?"  
  
"Yeah, I have to talk to you, it's really important," Sadie said, her dark eyes flashing with emotion.  
  
"What's up?" Lindsay asked, covering her yawn and trying to focus on her friend.  
  
"Was I drunk last night?"  
  
"Sadie, god, are you serious?" Lindsay scoffed. Sadie had been plastered when they'd caught up with her after a couple of hours attempting to dance.  
  
Sadie was visibly confused.  
  
"You were really drunk last night. Even Johnny said he was surprised, and you went home with some guy," Lindsay added. "And while I'm not going to tell Ryan, I'm pretty sure Zach or Taylor will." She'd probably tell him, too if she was being honest, but she wouldn't tell Sadie that.  
  
"I don't remember...I remember sitting down with a bottle of water – not beer, and this guy from school, Kyle came over...and then I woke up this morning in some shitty motel with nothing but my underwear on...I have hickeys, Lindsay..." Sadie said, her voice laced with panic.  
  
Lindsay didn't think Sadie was lying. "If you had a blackout, but you weren't drinking...do you think he drugged you?"  
  
"I don't know, Lindsay, I don't remember...I threw up a little this morning and some of that was definitely alcoholic – but I wouldn't have cheated on Ryan...I don't think I would have done that...I don't know what happened to me..." Sadie whispered.  
  
"All right, just...calm down. Let's go through it slowly...so you knew the guy?"  
  
"Yeah, his name's Kyle, at least the guy at the rave was Kyle. But he was there with his girlfriend and we were both joking about being the designated drivers while our friends were getting wasted..."  
  
Lindsay managed not to roll her eyes. She, Zach, Taylor and Johnny had been the tamest people in the whole place.  
  
"So I don't think we would've been drinking...God, why can't I remember? What am I going to tell Ryan? He's at home all sick and I'm out making out with random guys..."  
  
"If you were drugged...maybe you should go to the police," Lindsay said  
  
"I didn't put my drink down...at least I don't remember..."  
  
"We should have stayed with you, we shouldn't have left you alone..." Lindsay said.  
  
Sadie took a deep breath, sitting down on the end of the bed. "This is nobody's fault but mine," she whispered. "Ryan and I are in such a good place right now and I just...fucked up."  
  
"If you tell Ryan what happened, I'm sure he'll understand...if you were drugged then...are you sure you weren't..."  
  
"No – I'm sure, I still had my underwear on...I don’t think I fucked him...but I'm not sure....God, I'm sorry, Lindsay, I'm just going to go home and see what Johnny knows, maybe he can call Kyle and find out what happened," Sadie said, hurrying from the room before Lindsay could say anything.  
  
She reached for her phone to call Taylor. She needed to figure out what had happened to Sadie before doing anything else.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Zach took a deep breath and knocked on the Cohen's door. He had to talk to Ryan before anyone else did. He didn't know how his friend was going to take this.  
  
"Zach, hi, how are you?" Ryan's mom asked, smiling at him.,  
  
"Good, um, I was wondering if I could see Ryan a while, he's not contagious, is he?" Zach asked.  
  
"No, he's not, and I'm sure he'll be glad for the company. We've been keeping the kids away from him and he's getting a little antsy now that he's feeling better," she said.  
  
"Did you find out what's wrong with him?" he asked.  
  
Kirsten seemed to flinch. “He’s much better today, it seems to be passing,” she smiled after a moment.  
  
Zach didn’t have time to worry about her weird mood, he had to talk to Ryan.  
  
“Hey, man,” Ryan greeted him hoarsely when he walked in.  
  
“Hey, how’re you feeling?”  
  
“Like shit, but a little better after a few hours of constant sleep,” Ryan replied. “Didn’t think I’d see you, what’s this visit about?”  
  
“Can’t I stop by to see my friend?”  
  
“Sure, but not when I’m sick,” Ryan replied. “You’re my friend but I don’t think I’d come visit if you had the flu. I actually thought I’d see Sadie before I’d see you.”  
  
“That’s actually why I’m here. I wanted to talk to you before anybody else does. I haven’t even talked to Lindsay about what I have to show you,” Zach said.  
  
“What’s going on?” Ryan asked.  
  
Zach pulled his laptop out of his shoulder bag and sat down in the chair. “You know I like Sadie, right?”  
  
“Yeah…Zach, just tell me,” Ryan said, visibly stiffening.  
  
“Last night when we went to that rave thing with Taylor, Sadie was supposed to be the designated driver…”  
  
“I remember, she told me, it was cool,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Once we got there, Sadie stayed off the dancefloor, she was sitting off to the side and me and Lindsay were having so much fun that we didn’t see her again for a couple of hours and when we found her again...she was wasted, Ryan. She was taking shots and hanging all off these guys…she was acting really…slutty. And when we tried to get her to come home with us, she wouldn’t come and she had this big fight with Johnny and he took her keys.”  
  
That got Ryan’s attention, his whole body going still.  
  
“That’s not even the weird part, Ryan, what’s weird is that last night, Sadie wasn’t acting like herself…and then when I get online this morning, I have an email showing Sadie…showing her getting naked with some guy,” Zach said.  
  
“What?” Ryan asked. “There are pictures of her on the internet?”  
  
“Not just pictures – video – and I don’t think I’ve ever heard about someone cheating on their boyfriend and having a video up the next day unless they were famous or something – it’s like somebody planned this whole thing to fuck with Sadie,” Zach said.  
  
“Show me,” Ryan said.  
  
Zach booted up the computer and turned it toward him. “I wanted to show you first in case…in case Sadie doesn’t remember. I mean…she looks like she’s conscious and stuff, but she was so ‘off’ at the rave that I don’t know how much she had to drink.”  
  
“You should’ve called me,” Ryan said, staring at the screen where the muted video was playing.  
  
“You were puking your brains out – and for all I knew, Sadie was just an undercover slut…”  
  
Ryan glared at him.  
  
“Sorry. I wasn’t sure I was even going to tell you until I got this email. Something’s weird about this…” Zach said.  
  
“You want to know weird? The Cohens think someone poisoned me, made me sick. There’s some weird…wisteria or something in my system, this poisonous flower and I don’t eat flowers, you know? And now this? It feels…wrong,” Ryan said.  
  
“Are you serious? They think someone’s poisoning you?” Zach asked, stunned.  
  
“How else would I have that stuff in my system? Who’s this guy?” Ryan asked, pointing at the laptop where Sadie was stripping for the man.  
  
“Johnny said he goes to their school, has some classes with her,” Zach replied.  
  
“I don’t even know where to start figuring this out. Is Sadie okay?” Ryan asked.  
  
“I came straight here, I wanted to show you before anybody else showed you,” Zach replied. "I mean, it's an email, but who else do you think got it?"  
  
“Hey there, LB, you’re looking better today,” Trey said, walking into the room.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Ryan asked him.  
  
“We’re almost finished at the site and we have the morning off, I cleared it with the prison and wanted to check on you.”  
  
Zach knew that things between Ryan and Trey had settled down again once Trey had confided that he was planning on moving back to Chino after his release without any prompting. Ryan had felt guilty, but Zach could tell that it would take a lot more than an argument to come between the two of them.  
  
“What’s going on?” Trey asked, noticing something was wrong as he sat down on the end of the bed.  
  
“Somebody’s fucking with him,” Zach answered, earning himself another glare.  
  
“What?” Trey asked, immediately alert.  
  
“Well, it’s true,” Zach said to Ryan.  
  
“Okay, so the news today is somebody slipped wisteria into something I ate,” Ryan told Trey.  
  
“Wisteria? Isn’t that a flower?” Trey asked, confused.  
  
“Yeah, a flower that makes you sick if you eat it,” Ryan replied. “I have traces of it in my system and I don’t eat flowers…”  
  
“Damn – who did it?” Trey demanded. Zach wondered if he should have kept his mouth shut.  
  
“We don’t know, but now Zach comes over and says that Sadie got drunk late night, even though she wasn’t drinking when they got there – and showed me this video somebody sent him,” Ryan said, turning the laptop around so his brother could see it.  
  
“Whoa…I know Sadie’s hot…but that guy – he’s not you,” Trey said, watching the screen carefully.  
  
“She wouldn’t have done that if she’d been in her right mind,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Are you sure?” Trey asked, raising an eyebrow and looking to Zach. Zach shrugged.  
  
“I’m pretty sure. If you look at her eyes, she looks stoned and she doesn’t get stoned,” Ryan replied.  
  
“And...you think this has something to do with you eating flowers?” Trey asked.  
  
“It’s a little convenient that Ryan was sick and didn’t make it to the rave,” Zach stated.  
  
“But what’s the point? I mean, I don’t doubt that you’re both telling the truth, but what would this person have to gain getting Sadie busted for cheating? You sure they’re after you?” Trey asked.  
  
“Sadie doesn’t have millions in the bank,” Ryan muttered. He leaned forward and took the laptop back, tapping rapidly on the keyboard.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I’m going to trace the IP address, see if I can find out where the email came from,” Ryan said.  
  
“That’s a good idea,” Zach chimed in, his phone ringing on his hip.  
  
“I’m going to talk to your mom about this whole Wisteria thing,” Trey said, frowning. “Hang tight.”  
  
“It’s Lindsay,” Zach told Ryan, raising the phone to his ear.  
  
Ryan continued tapping on his computer as Zach listened to Lindsay explain about Sadie’s freaking out over the previous night. He barely registered her words when Ryan turned the computer around so he could see what he’d found.  
  
“It’s Jess,” Ryan said.  
  
“I’ll have to call you back, Lindsay,” Zach said.  
  
\---------------------------------  
  
"This is such bullshit," Ryan said, closing the laptop and climbing off the bed, a wave of vertigo slowing him from his goal of putting on shoes.  
  
"Whoa, dude, what are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm going to talk to that bitch and find out what the hell she's trying to do to my life," Ryan replied.  
  
He couldn't fucking believe this. He hadn't been this angry in a while and someone was going to feel the brunt of this, even if he couldn't hit Jess, he could damned well make her see how angry he was. Make her regret fucking with Sadie.  
  
"Maybe you should talk to your dad...or Sandy, I mean," Zach said. "Get more proof – we still don't know why she's doing this..."  
  
"That's what I'm going to ask her," Ryan replied. He had to do something – he had to find out what the fuck was going on.  
  
"Ryan," Zach said, standing up.  
  
"What?" he asked, looking at his friend. Zach nodded behind him and Ryan turned to find Sadie standing uncomfortably in the doorway.  
  
He was angry, but after finding out what he had, he wasn't angry at her. He walked over and put his arms tightly around her before she could say anything. "Are you all right?"  
  
"What..."  
  
"I know what happened last night. I need to know if you're all right," Ryan said, cupping her chin and making her look in his eyes. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine..." she whispered.  
  
"I'll, um, be outside," Zach said, ducking from the room with his phone ringing again.  
  
"Zach told you?" Sadie asked.  
  
"Come here. There's something I need to show you...and it's going to upset you, hell, I'm upset for you...but I don't think what happened last night was your fault..."  
  
"How do you know?" Sadie asked. "I don't even know – I don't remember..."  
  
"I think you were fucked up, I think you were on something," Ryan said.  
  
"How do you..." Sadie started, distracted as he opened the laptop and clicked over to the screen with the video on it. "Oh my god..."  
  
"Somebody sent it to Zach. Somebody set you up...slipped you something..."  
  
"Why?" Sadie whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I...I don't remember any of this – and Kyle...I thought he was a friend..."  
  
"This guy's name is Kyle? What's his last name?" Ryan demanded.  
  
"Ryan – what the hell is happening? Who would do this to me?"  
  
"I think they were trying to get to me...through you. Break us up...somebody put something in my drink yesterday, too, something to make me sick. Wisteria," Ryan said. "To keep me from going out with you guys...so they could do this..."  
  
"Ryan – that doesn't make any sense, okay? It's just..."  
  
"It's Jess Sathers," Ryan said. "She's the chick that sent the email, and she's my lab partner first period and she had a chance to poison my drink. She's fucking with us..."  
  
Sadie was shaking her head.  
  
Ryan realized how upset she was suddenly and reached out to pull her into a hug but she kept shaking her head and tapped the computer screen.  
  
"I can't deal with this. This...this isn't me, this isn't how I want to be remembered...there's a fucking video of me on the internet that I don't remember making. And now you're saying it's because some chick wants to get your attention? She's ruined me, Ryan...what if my Mom sees this? What if Johnny's mom sees it? They're going to think I'm on drugs, that I’m a slut..." Sadie stood up and picked up her purse with a shaking hand.  
  
"Sadie, wait..."  
  
"I can't deal with this – as much as I like you, Ryan, I just...can't deal with this...I'm sorry," she said.  
  
And just like that, he realized that Sadie was leaving. It wasn't like he could go to her house in a week after she'd cooled down, she was leaving.  
  
It was Jess' fault. But it was his fault, too. Jess had done that to Sadie because of him.  
  
"Fuck!" Ryan cursed, slamming his fist into the wall with a thud and a rush of pain.  
  
"You all right in here?" Trey asked, stepping in.  
  
"No," Ryan replied. "I am not all right. I am pissed off and I want to know why she's doing this to me."  
  
"Who?" Sandy stepped in, followed by Zach. Ryan nodded his chin at him. He was too angry to control his words right now.  
  
"Jess. Ryan traced the IP address to the video."  
  
"What video?" Sandy asked.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Trey walked over to him, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Sit down."  
  
Ryan glared at him. He didn't want to sit, he wanted to talk to Jess. Face to face.  
  
"Sit down, Ry," Trey repeated, pushing him gently until he sat down in the chair. "Good. Now you cool off for a few minutes while I talk to Sandy. Look at me."  
  
Ryan met his eyes, still thinking of all the things he wanted to say to Jess.  
  
"You keep telling me I've got to change my habits, start walking the line...we aren't in Chino anymore and you can't deal with this like you would have back there. Cool off before you start thinking about doing anything. All right?"  
  
"Fuck you," Ryan snorted. Trey making sense?  
  
Trey laughed and patted both his shoulders. "That's what I like to hear." He turned to Zach. "Watch him, don't let him sneak out."  
  
"Um..." Zach said.  
  
"He's joking, I'm cool," Ryan sighed.  
  
"Sadie left," Zach said, stepping in.  
  
"Yeah. She's pretty upset. I think I lost her. For good this time."  
  
As good as things had been going...he should've known it wouldn't last.  
  
What. The. Fuck.  
  
\-------------  
  
  
  
"Family meeting and we're invited?" Julie asked. "Must be big, they usually just call us if they're giving Ryan new toys or rules."  
  
"Sandy has a lead on who gave Ryan the wisteria," Jimmy said.  
  
"Oh. Are we getting together to plan a hit?" she asked.  
  
"Not quite yet," Caleb smiled, welcoming them inside at the door.  
  
Julie had met a lot of con artists in her life, she couldn't figure out the angle that would require poisoning a child.  
  
"Hi, guys," Kirsten smiled, visibly shaken. "Thanks for coming."  
  
"What's going on?" Julie asked. She'd bonded with Kirsten inexplicably; something about the woman had reawakened her need for female friendship. She sat down beside her to offer what support she could as Jimmy joined Sandy and Trey.  
  
"I don't even understand it, that's why we wanted you guys to come over and give us input. Sadie, she was drugged last night and someone took a video of her...getting intimate with another boy and sent the video to Zach. Ryan traced the IP address and said Jess Sathers sent the email, and she sits next to him in Chemistry and he thinks she could have put the poison in his coffee," Kirsten explained.  
  
"Sathers? Charlotte's her mom, isn't she?" Julie asked.  
  
"She's a bigger golddigger than you," Hailey said, sitting down with them.  
  
Julie didn't react. It wasn't the first time she'd been called that and it would take more than that to rile her up.  
  
"Sorry," Hailey shrugged, withering under her sister's glare.  
  
"All right, since everyone's here, I'll fill you in," Sandy said. "Our private investigators found out that Charlotte Sathers is the person that's been inquiring about Ryan's monetary worth."  
  
"Where is Ryan?" Jimmy asked.  
  
"He's asleep, the doctor wants him to rest another day before letting him up again. Seth's camping on his floor so we'll hear if they wake up," Kirsten answered. "He's pretty upset, but the exhaustion's stronger."  
  
"What else?" Jimmy asked.  
  
"Charlotte didn't finish college, but before she dropped out, she was a botany student. She knows all about poisonous plants because she planned to do her thesis on it," Caleb said.  
  
"So she knew about the wisteria? She's in on it with her daughter?" Julie asked.  
  
"That's what it looks like now. The PI's are turning over their findings to the police," Sandy said. "It's important that we hold our tempers and let them do their job."  
  
Kirsten muttered something under her breath.  
  
"Can I talk to you?" Trey asked, pulling Sandy from the room.  
  
"I have some friends on the force," Julie said quietly. "And I don't agree with Sandy on this. I think we should be proactive."  
  
"Proactive?" Hailey whispered, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Let's go out for coffee. Have some girl time," Julie said, standing up and looking at Kirsten. "What do you say?"  
  
"Sure," Kirsten said, catching her mood. "Not too long, I want to be back in case Ryan needs something."  
  
"Just one cup," Julie said.  
  
Caleb glanced at them but was too busy being interrogated by Jimmy to question them.  
  
"Come along, Hailey," Julie said, nudging the woman's knee.  
  
\---------------  
  
  
“Hi, Jess,” Starla said, rushing to catch up to her in the mall’s lobby.  
  
Jess looked at her in surprise. It had been weeks since any of her ‘old’ friends had talked to her. That part of the plan had worked beautifully. Not to mention it was early for the girl to be up on a weekend.  
  
But since the plan was coming to a close, with Sadie soon to be exposed and Ryan needing the kind of comfort only she could provide, she could talk to Starla. “Hi, what’s up?” she asked, making sure she looked pathetic in case anyone was watching.  
  
“We were going to the beach for a party, thought maybe you’d want to come along,” Starla said.  
  
Starla had always been a ditzy girl, but she was a part of the popular crowd because of her beauty and, well, trust fund.  
  
“I can’t today,” Jess said. She had to go over to the Cohens to bring Ryan some flowers to show him how much she cared. She even considered putting Wisteria in the bouquet, but figured that may be a bit over the top. But she hoped her ponytail would make her look innocent enough to convince him of her motives.  
  
“Why not? Too busy selling out your friends for cash?” Starla asked cheerily. She wrapped her hand around her wrist. “You have to come, the party is for you.”  
  
“Starla, step off,” Jess snapped, pulling away.  
  
“You should probably just come quietly. I’m not the only one looking for you, and the cops probably won’t be as nice when they find you,” Starla smiled, pulling her toward the exit.  
  
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Starla, just let me go…” Jess said, starting to panic. She needed to call her mom, someone – what the hell did Starla know about anything?  
  
“You know,” Starla said once they were outside. “I never believed people when they talked about how much of a golddigging whore your mom was. I mean, she dated my dad a few times, but he never gave her any money, at least not enough to hurt anything. And you’ve always been a bit of a slut, but there’s nothing wrong with being a slut if you’re just in it for the kicks, but after hearing about what you’ve done to Ryan and his girlfriend, well, let’s just say that you need a lesson in how to behave in Newport.”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Starla, I don’t know…” Jess started.  
  
But the car that pulled up beside them silenced her. Taylor was driving and Lindsay and Zach were in the backseat with that Johnny kid, Sadie’s cousin.  
  
“Our ride’s here, get in,” Starla smiled, nudging her forward as Taylor opened the front door.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere with you…” Jess protested.  
  
“Get in the car, you lying whore, before we have to put you in the car,” Taylor ordered, her eyes flashing.  
  
Fuck. This wasn’t good.  
  
\---------------  
  
“Charlotte, just the lady I was looking for,” Julie smiled. “I need your expertise on something, do you have a moment?”  
  
Charlotte hurried over to greet her, just like Julie knew she would. She’d been vying for a spot on the Newport Events Committee since she came to town but since most of the ladies, and men, of Newport hated the bitch, she’d never been invited to join.  
  
“You need my help? I’m flattered to be asked,” Charlotte said.  
  
“A few of us are planning a gala in a few weeks and we need a fresh perspective,” Julie said, leading her into a small conference room in the yacht club that she’d reserved.  
  
“Of course, any way that I can help,” Charlotte smiled.  
  
“Thanks, Charlotte,” Julie said, holding the door for her and following her inside, locking the door behind them.  
  
Kirsten was already standing up and she backhanded Charlotte across the face before Julie had time to even consider if the woman had it in her.  
  
“You bitch,” Kirsten hissed, pausing long enough to straighten her rings before grabbing a large fistful of Charlotte’s hair and yanking it back so the woman was looking at her.  
  
“Kirsten, go easy, the cops won’t like it if she’s all bruised up when we turn her in,” Hailey said, glancing at Julie with equal surprise.  
  
“You messed with the wrong family this time. The wrong boy. And if it was up to me, I’d kill you right here,” Kirsten hissed in Charlotte’s ear, making the woman’s eyes widen in fear.  
  
“Kiki,” Julie said, trying to calm her down.  
  
But Kirsten just pulled Charlotte by the hair and shoved her to sit down in one of the chairs.  
  
“What’s going on?” Charlotte whispered, blood dripping from her cheek where Kirsten’s rings had cut her.  
  
“You know damned well what’s going on,” Hailey said. “And so do the cops. But we thought we’d give you a chance to explain yourself.”  
  
“Explain myself? Explain what?” Charlotte asked.  
  
“Oh, maybe why you’ve been making illegal inquiries into a 16 year old boy’s finances,” Julie started, moving forward so Kirsten wouldn’t attack again. “Or how you helped your daughter poison Ryan and obtain date rape drugs in order to smear his girlfriend…”  
  
Charlotte’s eyes flashed but she denied it with her words, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. If Jess is in trouble, she’s on her own…”  
  
“Jess is definitely in trouble, but she’s not alone in this. And you know that very well,” Hailey countered.  
  
“I don’t…”  
  
Kirsten smacked her again, on the other cheek. “Deny it again.”  
  
Charlotte glared at her, holding her face.  
  
“We have the proof. So do the cops. They’re searching your house right now,” Kirsten said.  
  
That got the woman’s attention. “What?”  
  
“They’ve found lots of interesting things so far, stolen property and forged documents. They also found the video of your daughter and your former stepson, wonder why that was in your possession?” Julie asked. “You bitches have been in on it together the whole time. And believe me, if the courts don’t get you…”  
  
“We will,” Kirsten finished. “How could you do that to your daughter? What did you expect to get from Ryan?”  
  
“The bastard’s loaded,” Charlotte said. Julie caught Kirsten by the wrist before she hit her again. “Jess is a brainless bimbo, but she’s damned fertile and I knew if she could just get him into bed, we’d have a goldmine on our hands. Caleb would never stand for another bastard to be born in his family, he’d pay us whatever we asked…or else he’d make Ryan marry her giving us our ticket in…”  
  
Julie had been called cold many times, but she was chilled by the woman’s flippant description of her plan and her use of her daughter.  
  
“Now I guess I’ll just have to settle for charging you with assault,” Charlotte said, glaring at Kirsten.  
  
“You wish,” Hailey snickered, nodding her chin up to the security camera that was recording everything. “Seems like your daughter’s not the only brainless bimbo in the family, spilling all your secrets at the first confrontation – nice job, Charlotte.”  
  
“You’ll be safer in jail,” Kirsten whispered, her eyes dark with hatred. “And if you ever threaten my family again, you’ll wish you were dead.”  
  
Julie opened the door and the officers that had been supervising from the security room came in and cuffed Charlotte. They knew the videotape probably wouldn't be admissible in court, but Charlotte didn't have to know that. Her lawyer would figure it out eventually.  
  
Julie had made sure that every Newpsie that wasn’t at work was at the Yacht Club to see Charlotte marched away.  
  
“That didn’t feel as good as I thought it would,” Hailey said, walking out with Kirsten.  
  
“It felt good to smack her in the mouth,” Kirsten said, shaking her hand with a wince. “But it might not feel good tomorrow. Sandy’s going to kill me.”  
  
“Sandy doesn’t have to know. But I, for one, am damned proud of you for smacking her one,” Julie grinned.  
  
\---------------  
  
“I can’t believe you’re just leaving,” Ryan said, sitting on Sadie’s porch when she came out with another bag. He’d watched her from the car for a few loads before gathering himself enough to approach the house.  
  
He couldn't believe she was leaving him. As if the whole Jess feeding him poisonous flowers and having Sadie drugged wasn't enough – he was losing another person he cared about. And as angry as he was at Jess, he was more upset about losing Sadie.  
  
“What are you doing here?” she asked, startled.  
  
“I wanted to say goodbye. You made it pretty clear that this is all my fault, even though I didn’t do anything,” Ryan replied. “I just…didn’t want you to go without at least saying goodbye.”  
  
“I…I know it wasn’t your fault. It’s my fault for getting involved with you in the first place…” she said.  
  
That didn’t really make him feel any better. He got to his feet and started walking to his car. It didn't matter what he said, what he did, it was never enough.  
  
“Wait – Ryan, wait…” she called.  
  
He stopped when he felt her hand on his arm.  
  
"Please," she said.  
  
He turned to face her. "I'm sorry that Jess hurt you to get to me. And I'm even sorrier that it gives you a reason to leave and that it's made you hate what we had."  
  
"It... I can't explain it, Ryan. It doesn't make me regret anything..." Sadie started.  
  
"Sure it does. It makes me regret a lot," Ryan interrupted.  
  
She was stricken. "I...I still care about you – I'm not leaving because of you..."  
  
"But you're not willing to stay either," he said.  
  
Sadie's eyes were heavy with tears. "No. I'm not. I...I can't explain it to you now, I don't think I could explain it to anyone, but seeing myself on that tape...like that – and not having any memory of it...I just can't be here anymore, I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal any better at home, but I just...I have to go," she said.  
  
He saw suddenly that she was hiding something big from him. "Did Kyle rape you, Sadie?" he whispered, putting his hands on her shoulders.  
  
If she said yes, he'd kill him. He'd cut his balls off and feed them to him.  
  
She shook her head. "No. He didn't. But...but I've had that happen to me before – and...I can't be here, Ryan. I'm sorry – I have to go," she whispered.  
  
She pulled away and rushed back into the house.  
  
She'd been raped before...no wonder the video and the whole experience had sent her over.  
  
It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve to be hurt like that. To hurt like that at all.  
  
He wanted to wait for her, to hold her in his arms, but he...he had to think of her.  
  
She needed to go. He needed to let her go.  
  
\---------------  
  
"Eddie?" Teresa called, waddling into the garage and glimpsing his lanky legs stretching from under her Honda.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Ryan just called, he said he's going to stop by. Wouldn't tell me what was on his mind," she said, walking over to him.  
  
"Cool, it'll be good to see him," Eddie's voice said.  
  
"Don't you think it'll be a nice chance to ask him the question?" she asked.  
  
Eddie slowly rolled from under the car and looked up at her, grease smeared across his cheek. He was so cute when he was working. "Are you still set on this?"  
  
"It was your idea," she reminded him.  
  
"I didn't think you'd go for it. And I'm pretty sure Ryan's not going to go for it either," he said, sitting up and putting down his wrench.  
  
"He's one of my best friends, and yours," Teresa said.  
  
Eddie sighed. "You really want him to be best man, don't you?"  
  
"Why don't you?" Teresa countered.  
  
He looked at her, holding her gaze as he got to his feet. "Maybe because I don't want you staring at him the whole time wishing he and I would switch places. Maybe because I want it to be about you and me and not about you and me and Ryan," he said, wiping his hands on his work rag and going into the house.  
  
So it was this again.  
  
Teresa put her hands on her hips to ease her aching back as she made her way back inside the house.  
  
Who knew babies would be so heavy?  
  
She only had a few more weeks to be a blimp (she hoped) and she knew she should be enjoying the calm before the storm of a baby came in, but she was too sore and tired to think that far ahead for long periods.  
  
She didn't bother going to reassure Eddie again. There were only so many times that she should have to convince him that she loved him.  
  
He should know by now.  
  
Instead she settled on the couch in the den so she could see the street when Ryan arrived.  
  
Eddie would probably say she was waiting for Ryan with high expectations but she waited for him in the same place every day.  
  
She loved them both, but she'd chosen Eddie. And every day when she woke up in his bed, she knew it was the right choice.  
  
Not that she loved Ryan any less, just differently. Ryan was like a fire that burned, hot and fast with blue flame, but she couldn't get close enough to him to have him. He didn't let anyone that close, not even her.  
  
But Eddie was fiery, too, he was steady and warm and welcomed her into his heart. She knew she'd have him forever. If she could convince him that he was enough for her.  
  
Eddie came out in clean clothes with his hands red from scrubbing the grease off. He sat down beside her on the couch.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
"I love you," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it. He moved his hand to lay on her round stomach.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
"I hope that once my hormones settle down and you hold our baby and I take your name, that you'll finally believe that I mean it," she said.  
  
The baby kicked and she smiled at his surprised expression. He stretched out, putting his ear against her stomach. She threaded her fingers through his hair.  
  
This was right.  
  
"God, the two of you are about to rot my teeth with cuteness," Ryan said, grinning widely through the screen door.  
  
She hadn't even noticed him pull up. Not with her man on her lap and her baby in her belly.  
  
Ryan wasn't the most important thing to her anymore.  
  
This was.  
  
\---------------  
  
"Beach party, just like we said," Lindsay said, watching Jess flinch when she saw the cluster of kids sitting around the single chair on the beach. Taylor knew all the Newport kids, even if she didn't run in their circles, but she'd put out the word on Jess and got support from surprising places, like Starla and her minions who'd once been cohorts of Jess,  
  
"What the fuck is this?" Jess whispered.  
  
"We want you to meet a friend of ours," Zach said, putting his arm around her.  
  
Lindsay had never been involved in a 'revenge' scheme before, but she had to admit that she was looking forward to seeing Jess get what she deserved. She'd really fucked Ryan over.  
  
Alex stepped out of her car and Jess watched her walk down the path in silence.  
  
Lindsay wasn't sure who called Alex, she suspected Hailey, but the girl had driven several hours to get here.  
  
She was dating someone else now, but she still cared about Ryan.  
  
Alex didn't hesitate, she just walked over to Jess and punched her in the eye like she was a piece of boxing equipment, knocking her to her knees in the sand.  
  
"Um, that wasn't part of the plan," Taylor said as the other kids laughed.  
  
"Get up, bitch," Alex said.  
  
Jess was crying and Lindsay had a twinge of pity before remembering what she'd done to Sadie and Ryan. Jess shakily got to her feet, holding her hand over her swelling eye.  
  
"Sit down," Johnny said, kicking sand at the chair.  
  
"What do you want?" Jess whimpered, sitting down.  
  
"The truth," Taylor said. "Did you poison Ryan?"  
  
"No..." Jess whispered.  
  
Alex took a step toward her. "The truth, bitch."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Did you poison Ryan?" Lindsay said, finding her voice.  
  
"It wasn't poison...it was just to make him sick," Jess whispered.  
  
"Why?" Alex demanded.  
  
"I...I needed him out of the way so I could make Sadie mess up..."  
  
"You drugged her – you paid some punk to molest her on camera!" Johnny said.  
  
"I needed..."  
  
"Why the hell would you do that to her?" Johnny asked. "She's my cousin – she didn't do anything to you!"  
  
"I needed them to break up!" Jess cried.  
  
"Why? You used to talk shit about him all the time, you said he was scum," Starla said, stepping forward.  
  
"My mom..."  
  
"What does your mom have to do with anything?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"She said Ryan has money...he's worth millions – she wanted me to get with him so we could get in the family – she wanted me to get pregnant so she could blackmail him," Jess admitted between sobs.  
  
"Are you fucking serious?" Lindsay said. "You'd get pregnant just to get his money? It's a baby, not a lottery ticket!"  
  
Alex turned her back on Jess, barely containing her rage.  
  
Starla walked forward, looking at Jess. "You really paid some guy to drug Ryan's girlfriend?"  
  
Jess was looking at her, cowering.  
  
"After what happened to you at my party last summer? When that guy slipped you that drug and raped you?" she asked coolly.  
  
"What?" Taylor asked.  
  
"Did he really rape you?" Starla continued, her voice level.  
  
Jess shook her head, tears dripping off her chin. "No...I...I made it up so you would like me..."  
  
Starla stared at her. She held out her hand and one of the girls walked over and passed something to her.  
  
"What are you..." Lindsay started, but it was too late.  
  
Starla pulled Jess' hair and skillfully cut her ponytail off with a single snip. She dropped the handful of red hair in Jess' lap.  
  
"Rape's not something to joke about," Starla said, giving the scissors back to her friend and walking away.  
  
"Let's go," Zach said in her ear. "Alex, give us a ride," he added, ushering the raging girl toward the cars.  
  
"I'm not finished with her," Alex said.  
  
"Any further and we'll all go to jail," Lindsay said.  
  
"We're driving her to the police station," Taylor said, pulling Jess from the chair by her arm.  
  
"I..." Jess choked. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"We'll see how sorry you are when you're locked in a cell," Johnny hissed.  
  
The whole scene didn't really make Lindsay feel any better about what had happened but it wasn't for her benefit.  
  
She hoped it had made Jess regret what she'd done enough to admit it to the cops.  
  
Because Lindsay didn't think she'd last too long in Newport after this.  
  
\---------------   
  
  
  
"Are you staying for dinner?" Kirsten asked Alex as they sat at the counter with ice on their hands.  
  
"Yeah, if Ryan makes it home in time. I need to get going soon, though," Alex replied.  
  
"I think he'll be happy to see you," Kirsten replied.  
  
"He knows I'm seeing someone. But...I still really care about him. But I don't know if I broke some kind of ex-girlfriend code today or what," she admitted.  
  
"I grounded Ryan for fighting with his brother and I broke my own rule today. Sandy's going to be so pissed. But hopefully both Ryan and Sandy will understand why we did what we did," Kirsten said.  
  
Ryan walked in, his eyes lighting up when he recognized Alex. "Hey, what are you doing here?" He saw the icepacks and his face flashed with concern. "What happened?"  
  
"Give me a hug," Alex said, embracing him warmly. "You okay?"  
  
"I'm fine – but you..."  
  
"I just lost my temper a little, it's nothing," Alex said.  
  
He turned to Kirsten. "What about you? What happened?"  
  
"I lost my temper, too. But what matters is that the Sathers women won't be bothering you anymore. They've both been arrested," Kirsten said carefully.  
  
Ryan stared at her. "What does that have to do with your hurt hand? Did you punch someone?"  
  
"It was more of a backhand," Hailey volunteered, stepping into the kitchen. "And it was Charlotte Sathers, the mom."  
  
"Kirsten?" Ryan questioned.  
  
"She deserved it," Hailey added.  
  
"She hurt you," Kirsten said nervously. "I wanted her to admit it to my face." Evan as she said the words, she didn't know what response she wanted from her son. It was against everything she stood for to encourage violence but she'd done it anyway. She'd let her anger take over without worrying about the consequences, just like she'd scolded Ryan about.  
  
Ryan glanced at Hailey.  
  
"She had the bitch scared," Hailey nodded.  
  
Kirsten was surprised when Ryan gave her a gentle hug.  
  
"I'm not proud of what I did," she whispered.  
  
"It means a lot to me," Ryan said. "Dawn...she never stood up for me. So...it means a lot."  
  
The kitchen was silent and she was so touched by his confession that she couldn't speak.  
  
"Who'd you punch?" Ryan asked Alex.  
  
"The daughter, Jess," she admitted.  
  
"Ooh, spill," Hailey said, rubbing Ryan's shoulders familiarly.  
  
Kirsten couldn't deny that Hailey and Ryan's friendship had been beneficial for them both.  
  
Hailey had helped Ryan feel comfortable around the family simply by being closer to his age and treating him like a peer and not simply a relative.  
  
And even if she was sleeping with Ryan's brother, her baby sister seemed to be settling down and clueing in to how blessed she was to have it so good being a Nichol, without taking it for granted.  
  
Ryan had changed everyone in his orbit.  
  
"Taylor called in some Newport kids," Alex explained. "Brought Jess to the beach. I punched her...but just once. She admitted she poisoned you, said she paid some guy to feel up your girlfriend."  
  
"Did she say why?" Ryan whispered, visibly stunned.  
  
"Said her mom wanted her to get pregnant so she could blackmail Caleb," Alex started. "She obviously doesn't know about your whole condom rule."  
  
Kirsten cleared her throat and all three of them blushed. But she was proud of her son even if she couldn't admit it.  
  
"One of the Newport chicks, Starla, I think Lindsay called her – she got Jess to admit to lying about being raped last year. Cut her ponytail off and handed it to her," Alex said.  
  
"That's so awesome," Hailey laughed.  
  
"Lindsay and Taylor were in on it?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Zach, some Johnny guy, too. A little strange, that one, but Sadie's his cousin and he wanted some answers, too."  
  
Ryan glanced between them. "I don't even know what to say."  
  
"You've got a lot of people watching your back, kid," Hailey said.  
  
"I can't believe you're all, like, in the mafia," Ryan teased.  
  
"I do not approve of any of today's behavior. It was impulsive and possibly illegal," Kirsten stated.  
  
"Understood," Ryan smiled, putting an arm around her. "But it's appreciated."  
  
\-------------------------------  
  
  
"Hey," Ryan said, greeting him in the living room. "How long are you staying?"  
  
"I'm staying in the poolhouse, got a weekend pass. I'm going to teach you how to weed out golddiggers," Trey said. "Did you see Sadie?"  
  
"Yeah, she's gone. I'm officially single again. I went down to Eddie and Teresa's for the rest of the afternoon," Ryan said.  
  
"The ladies did a good job getting all the men out of the way. They're...scary, dude," Trey said, grinning at him when Ryan sat down beside him. "How's Teresa doing?"  
  
"Good, looks about to pop," Ryan said. "I've got something to ask you, though."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Eddie wants you to be his best man," Ryan said.  
  
Trey stared at him. "No, he doesn't."  
  
"He asked me first, but I said no," Ryan shrugged.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You know why," Ryan snorted.  
  
"Dude, you have got to get over it. Yes, Teresa and Eddie betrayed you..."  
  
"That's not what this is about. It's about Teresa and Eddie getting married and being happy. And as much as you think Eddie wanted to ask me to be best man, I can't help but think he mentioned it just because he wanted to see how Teresa would react. I do not think he'd want me standing beside him when he marries her, I think she didn't answer him the way he expected," Ryan said.  
  
Trey stared at him. "Ryan, you've always loved Teresa."  
  
"And I don't want to stand up there and watch her grandpa walk her down the aisle and give her away to somebody else. I won't," Ryan said. "I'm in charge of holding the baby while you play best man."  
  
"You'd rather hold some crying kid than give your friends your blessing," Trey said.  
  
Ryan glared at him. "They don't need my blessing, they're still my friends. They stood by me when it counted, Trey and I don't forget stuff like that," he said.  
  
"And you're sure," Trey said.  
  
"Positive," Ryan nodded.  
  
"Eddie already talked to me about it the other day," Trey confessed. "I told him I'd do it if you wouldn't."  
  
"Then why the hell are you riding me about it?" Ryan protested.  
  
"Because that's my job," Trey grinned, sobering quickly. "How are you with...everything?"  
  
"I don't know. I was sick as a dog for those couple of days when nobody would let me out of their sight just to be told to stay out of town today while my mom and my friends go all Sopranos on the crazy bitches after my money. I've barely come to terms with having money and now I have to come to terms that some girl in my class tried to scam me to get it," Ryan said. "And Sadie...I really liked her and she got caught in the crossfire."  
  
"Alex came back," Trey pointed out.  
  
"And she left. Her boyfriend called when I was saying goodbye," Ryan replied. "She's got to finish school."  
  
"One of these days, man, you're going to find a girl you'll be willing to fight for," Trey said, cuffing his brother's head fondly. "What do you say I take you out tonight, just the two of us?"  
  
"That usually doesn't end well for us," Ryan grinned.  
  
"We're not the same Atwoods we were a year ago. I'm clean and sober, still officially locked up, so that'll eliminate a lot of our usual issues. And, while I'll deny it if you ask me later, I can't really sleep around right now with random chicks," Trey continued. "But I don't see why I can't hang out with my little brother for a few hours and keep out of trouble."  
  
"What do you have in mind?" Ryan asked, curious.  
  
"We used to always talk about what we'd do if we had money, and now, you have money. You know the fantasy I remember the best?" Trey asked, searching Ryan's face for recognition.  
  
Ryan's eyes lit up. "Bowling?"  
  
"Totally, man, come on!" Trey said, patting him on the shoulder. "There's that twenty-four hour bowling alley, and if you're paying, we can bowl all night without getting kicked out and I can kick your ass without getting in trouble. Shoot some pool, play some pinball and have endless quarters."  
  
"That sounds really nice, Trey. I just need to ask Kirsten if it's okay," Ryan said.  
  
"I'll get permission, you go get ready," Trey said.  
  
Ryan hesitated, his eyes clouded like they got when he was thinking too hard.  
  
"What?" Trey asked.  
  
"Kirsten...and Hailey and Julie...they really went to bat for me today. You're the only person that's really ever had my back like that before," Ryan said.  
  
"You totally lucked out, kid. You're Kirsten's son, Julie's stepson, Hailey's nephew – you're their family," Trey said. "Stop thinking so hard, go get yourself presentable so we can get a good lane."  
  
As he walked into the kitchen, he considered that it was the first time he'd faced Kirsten alone since he'd gotten in the fistfight with Ryan.  
  
"Hi, Trey, is the poolhouse going to be okay for you tonight?" Kirsten asked, offering him a cup of coffee with a nod.  
  
"Thanks, and the poolhouse is fine, I'd be fine on the floor of Ry's room, so it's really gracious of you," Trey replied politely. He took the mug and poured a cup of coffee before sitting down to try and think of what to say.  
  
He'd never had to ask Dawn permission for anything, she had always been glad to be rid of them. He'd been in charge of Ryan and it was weird to have to ask Kirsten for permission.  
  
He wasn't taking care of Ryan on his own anymore.  
  
"How's he doing?" Kirsten asked.  
  
He wrapped his hands around the coffee cup and realized that even though he wasn't Ryan's caretaker anymore, he still knew him better than anyone else ever would.  
  
He was always going to be his big brother. "He's okay, I think he's in shock. He really cared about Sadie and I think he feels responsible. Ryan always feels responsible when people get hurt," Trey said. "He's really impressed with what all of you guys did for him today." He met her eyes. "I am too, actually. I don't think I would have been able to handle it as well as you guys did, Ryan either. We would have lost our tempers a lot worse than you did, not that we'd have hit a woman, but...I would have probably broke some of their stuff," Trey admitted, relieved when she smiled.  
  
"Julie organized it with her contacts on the police force. And you can't afford to get involved in anything remotely sketchy," Kirsten said. "I didn't know about the kids' plan."  
  
"Ryan's lucky to have you guys," Trey said. "I was wondering if you'd let me take him out tonight, no tricks, no trouble, just to take his mind off everything for a while."  
  
"What do you have in mind?" she asked, not giving him an expression he could interpret.  
  
"Bowling, junk food, arcade games. Like you said, I can't get involved in anything sketchy. I just want to spend some time with him, calm him down."  
  
She nodded her understanding. "All right. You know the rules, and he's still getting over being sick, so bring him home if he gets too tired," she added.  
  
"It's an all night bowling alley, is it cool if we're late?"  
  
She studied him.  
  
"You can trust me. Or at least you can trust me when Ryan's with me," Trey added, trying to lessen the tension.  
  
"All right. Tell Ryan to keep his phone on," Kirsten said. "And if Hailey happens to end up in the poolhouse when you get back, make sure you lock the door. Seth hasn't learned boundaries yet and I don't want him asking uncomfortable questions right now," she added, turning to put her coffee mug in the sink.  
  
"Okay..." Trey said, too stunned to come up with a denial.  
  
Ryan walked in, glancing between them.  
  
"Be careful tonight, honey, and make sure you take your phone," Kirsten told Ryan, hugging him. "Have a good time."  
  
"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow," Ryan said, accepting her kiss on his cheek. He turned to Trey expectantly.  
  
"You ready?" Trey asked, putting his mug away and clapping his hands together.  
  
"Yeah. Let's go."  
  
\-------------------------------   
  
  
  
“I can’t believe you didn’t invite us! I am so totally offended!” Hailey said, flopping down on the bench behind Ryan and Trey in the bowling alley.  
  
Jimmy and Julie were with her and greeted Ryan with hugs before taking seats and looking up at the screen that displayed Ryan and Trey’s results.  
  
“We didn’t think bowling would interest you Newport ladies,” Trey smiled, winking at her.  
  
God, she was seriously falling for a felon. Her dad would be so proud.  
  
“What about me? I know how to bowl!” Jimmy protested.  
  
“Honey, don’t lie, you’ve never been in a bowling alley,” Julie teased.  
  
“Where are the girls?” Ryan asked.  
  
“Hanging out with Seth, Kirsten and Sandy were gracious enough to take them for the night to give Jimmy and me some time,” Julie replied.  
  
“And you chose to join us for bowling?” Ryan asked, smiling.  
  
“Julie said she likes bowling, thought we’d stop by,” Jimmy answered. “Make sure you weren’t getting into any trouble.”  
  
“I’m totally chaperoning,” Trey said.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes but Hailey could tell a difference in him already from the hours spent with his brother.  
  
Trey helped Ryan in all the ways Kirsten and Jimmy couldn’t. Hailey hoped he could hold himself together when he got parole because she didn’t think Ryan could lose anyone else.  
  
“We’re almost done with this game, so go grab some balls and we should be ready for a new game when you get back,” Ryan said, getting up to bowl his last turn.  
  
Hailey frowned at her ugly shoes but stood up and followed Julie and Jimmy to the racks holding the bowling balls.  
  
She was way out of her league here. She started to pick a pretty one, but it turned out to be incredibly heavy.  
  
“Need some help?” Trey asked, startling her with a mischievous grin behind her.  
  
“Shut up, I can totally bowl. I’ve just never actually tried it,” Hailey said. She lowered her voice. “Is it okay we came?”  
  
“Ryan said it was fine when you called. He’s loosened up a lot since we got here, working out that frustration.”  
  
“And no fistfights?” she asked.  
  
“Not even a slap, totally non-violent fun so far,” Trey said.  
  
Julie walked past them. “Jimmy and I know you two are seeing each other, no need to hide. Caleb and Kirsten aren’t here tonight,” she added, slipping an arm around Jimmy’s waist as they joined Ryan.  
  
“Does everyone know about us?” Trey asked. “’Cause Kirsten casually mentioned tonight that we should lock the door if you come into the poolhouse.”  
  
That was a surprise. “Kirsten knows? Why didn’t you tell me – oh shit…”  
  
“She didn’t seem mad. She just said that Seth would come in if the door was unlocked,” Trey shrugged, his eyes appraising her.  
  
“That’s…so weird. I’ll probably get a lecture when I get home,” Hailey said, confused as to why Kirsten hadn’t mentioned it to her.  
  
“So, I shouldn’t wait up for you?” Trey asked, fishing.  
  
“Were you planning on waiting up for me?” she replied, meeting his gaze teasingly. He was such fun to play with and it was going to suck if her big sister made things difficult.  
  
“Maybe,” he said, picking up a red bowling ball and holding it out to her. “I guess we’ll just have to see how good you are at bowling to find out.”  
  
She followed him back to the lane they had reserved and was pleased to see Ryan laughing openly at Jimmy’s gutter ball while Julie attempted to show him the correct way to get the ball down the lane.  
  
She knew she should be paying attention but the grin on Ryan’s face was all that she’d really come for.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
  
Ryan waved groggily at Sandy the next morning, making an ‘oomph’ sound when Seth rushed up to him and threw his arms around him.  
  
“Are you going to come sailing today? Please, Ryan?” Seth asked.  
  
“Too early for hugging,” Ryan grunted, sitting down at the counter and lifting his smaller brother into the seat beside him. “Sailing?”  
  
“Jimmy’s taking the girls out on the boat, and he’s letting Seth tag along,” Sandy answered. “Seth, I think Jimmy wants to spend some time with the girls without Ryan this time.”  
  
“But we’ll have more fun if he’s there,” Seth pouted. “Please, Ryan?”  
  
“I’m going to have to take a pass on this trip, buddy, but I want a raincheck, okay? I’m too tired today to go out sailing,” Ryan admitted, making Seth’s pout intensify.  
  
“You better go finish getting your stuff ready before Mom comes and starts lathering you in sunscreen,” Sandy said, encouraging Seth to leave Ryan alone.  
  
“Fine, but I’m going to remember that raincheck, I won’t forget,” Seth said.  
  
Ryan leaned his head on the counter when they were alone. “So tired.”  
  
“What time did you guys get in?” Sandy laughed.  
  
“Around four. We had to call a ‘draw’ because he won’t admit I beat him, but I bowled a 290 last game. My arm is killing me, though,” Ryan groaned. “It was really cool, though, to be able to hang out with Trey all night.”  
  
“Glad to hear it,” Sandy said, putting a cup of coffee in front of him.  
  
“Thanks, you guys are great,” Ryan said, taking the coffee. “Trey said Kirsten and Julie didn’t tell you they were going after Charlotte.”  
  
“It’s scary how my wife can lie to me so easily,” Sandy replied.  
  
“Ouch, didn’t think of it like that,” Ryan replied.  
  
“Don’t worry, she’s not in trouble. She was doing what she felt was best for her son, and that’s not something I’ll ever punish her for. And she even managed to keep it mostly legal, which was my main concern. I think it was something she needed to do on her own. She really cares about you," Sandy said.  
  
"I know. When I found out what happened, what Jess and Charlotte were planning...I just kind of lost it. I don't know what I would have done. I mean, I couldn't hurt them, there was nothing I could do...and once I talked to Sadie, I really didn't know what I was going to do. When I came home and found out what Kirsten and everyone had done...I think it just cemented to me even more that...that you guys are my family. Even what Alex and Taylor and everyone did, they really went to bat for me."  
  
"Well, you're pretty important to everyone around here," Sandy smiled. "You went through a lot to get here. You have a whole new family in under a year, the culture shock is going to wear off eventually, but we all hoped things would settle down after...well, you know."  
  
"After AJ was dead. But now I've got people wanting to hurt me for totally different reasons," Ryan said, taking a long swallow of coffee. He smiled at Sandy. "But, I also have a mom willing to stick up for me."  
  
"I've got some news about Trey," Sandy said after a moment of silence.  
  
"What kind of news?"  
  
"He's been doing very well in his rehabilitation classes and with his job. And with the overcrowding problem, I think I can get him out in a couple of weeks. I haven't told him yet, I thought maybe you'd want to tell him."  
  
"Really?" Ryan's face lit up. "He's free?"  
  
"He'll be on probation for a while, and he cannot get into any trouble. The warden's going to give him some extended curfews so he can line up a job and a place to stay. He's welcome here, but he mentioned that job in Chino with Eddie...but Kirsten has some thoughts about his apartment," Sandy said.  
  
"What kind of thoughts?"  
  
"She knows you'll want to visit him, she wants to make sure it's not in a bad part of town. She's willing to help with the rent if he'll get a place in a nicer area," Sandy said. "But she'll talk to Trey about all that. How do you think he'll do?"  
  
"He...he's straightened up a lot. I think he'll do well, if he can deal with a real job. But he's...he's really trying," Ryan said.  
  
"That's all I need to know," Sandy said, patting him on the back.  
  
"I'll tell him when he comes inside," Ryan said, glancing at him. "Thanks."  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
  
"Thanks for riding with me," Kirsten said, pulling onto the freeway. "I don't know how many display models they're going to have for us, and I can use your arms."  
  
"No problem, not like I have anything else to do," Ryan smiled. He was doing his best not to mope over his lack of a girlfriend and his other friends were out with their significant others today so he had time to kill.  
  
And hanging out with Kirsten wasn't as uncomfortable as it used to be.  
  
His phone buzzed as she focused on traffic and he raised it to his ear without looking at the display.  
  
"Ryan? Ryan, dude, I need your help," Eddie huffed in his ear.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Teresa – she's having the baby and...God, I'm freaking out, Eva's out of town, she's supposed to be here..."  
  
Ryan felt his heart start pounding. Teresa was having the baby.  
  
"Honey? Everything okay?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"Where are you?" Ryan asked.  
  
"The hospital, uh, she's in a room, I'm having a cigarette in the parking lot, she's in a lot of pain and she's pissed..."  
  
"Teresa's having the baby, Eddie's freaking out," Ryan told Kirsten.  
  
"You want me to take you there? Is she okay?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"We'll come, dude, just, finish your cigarette and go back to Teresa and don't freak out," Ryan said.  
  
"Thanks, man, and hurry? I...I'm not ready for this, like, at all."  
  
"You'll be fine, don't let Teresa scare you away, you know how she gets when she's in pain, you have to suck it up," Ryan said.  
  
"Okay...okay."  
  
The dial tone startled him and he snorted, glancing at Kirsten.  
  
"Which hospital?"  
  
He gave her directions and settled into the seat. "Are you going to get in trouble for not picking up the models?"  
  
"No, they'll still be there tomorrow. Eddie's a nice guy, what's going on?"  
  
"Eva, Teresa's mom is out of town and Eddie doesn't really deal well with high stress situations," Ryan said.  
  
"How do you guys know about Teresa's mood when she's in pain?" she asked, hiding her worry behind a lane change.  
  
"She gets bad cramps," Ryan admitted, blushing. "And she broke her ankle once when this dog chased me and her over a fence in junior high."  
  
"You guys all seem pretty close, the three of you," she commented.  
  
He shrugged. "It was five of us. Me, Trey, Arturo, Eddie and Teresa. Teresa and 'Turo's house was pretty harsh when their older brothers were around, they were pretty heavy into the gangs, both died before they hit 21," he confessed. "And Eddie bounced around from different friends' houses because his parents were drunks and would always lock him out. We, sort of, took care of each other. Things just got tricky when Teresa and I hooked up and then Eddie and Teresa hooked up. I mean, there were other issues, like, Trey and 'Turo fighting over girls and stuff...but we still care about each other. We've got a lot of history."  
  
"Sounds like. You're all just kids," she said. "But I'm glad that they were there for you, and that you're still trying to be there for them even though it's hard."  
  
He zoned out for the rest of the trip, trying to come to terms with Teresa and Eddie's new lives. They were having a baby.  
  
"Here we are. You mind if I come in with you?" Kirsten asked, pulling into the parking deck.  
  
"No, I don't mind," Ryan said. He let her take the lead when they were inside and she quickly found the maternity ward and asked a nurse which room was Teresa's.  
  
He knocked on the half open door, wincing from the steady stream of Spanish profanity that he recognized as Teresa. "Everything okay in here?"  
  
"Ryan, thank God," Eddie said, giving him a one-armed hug. "Mrs. Cohen."  
  
"How are you doing, honey?" Kirsten asked, patting Eddie's back but directing her words to Teresa.  
  
"I didn't know it would hurt this bad," Teresa said, her face flushed. "It's all his fault," she added, pointing at Eddie accusingly. "Hey, Ryan."  
  
"Eddie, go fill this bowl with cool water, Ryan, go ask the nurse for some ice," Kirsten directed before turning her attention back to Teresa. "Let's raise your bed a little and put some pillows behind you, give your back a break."  
  
Ryan and Eddie didn't argue and Ryan could see that Eddie was relieved at Kirsten's calming presence.  
  
When he got back with the ice, Kirsten had put Eddie to work wiping Teresa's flushed face with a damp cloth and that Teresa was holding his hand tightly.  
  
"It shouldn't be long now, the contractions are close together," Kirsten said. "Just breathe like they told you, and if it hurts, squeeze Eddie's hand as hard as you can," she added, winking at Eddie.  
  
"I think I can do that," Teresa said.  
  
Ryan moved beside Kirsten. He wondered if Sandy had done those things for her when she was having Seth. She said she didn't remember his birth, but she seemed to know what she was doing.  
  
The doctor came in and shooed them out of the room so she could examine Teresa with only Eddie allowed to stay but after a few minutes, several nurses and orderlies went into the room with equipment.  
  
"Is that normal?" Ryan asked.  
  
"They may not have a separate birthing area, that room looked like it was equipped, she may be going to have it in there," Kirsten said, putting an arm around him. "You okay?"  
  
"I guess. I mean, I'm glad it's not me having the baby, like, she's too small for it to be comfortable," Ryan said, shrugging, but not wanting her to take her arm away. "You okay?" he asked impulsively.  
  
"Yes, I think so," she said. "I've got a lot of respect for Teresa and Eddie for keeping their child and trying to make a life for it." She hesitated. "And I wish I could have stood up for you when I was her age instead of just getting my first chance when you're sixteen."  
  
He didn't really think there was anything he could say. A nurse came out and told them where they could wait. It seemed like Teresa was in labor and he sat down, stunned that it was really happening.  
  
Teresa was going to be a mother.  
  
She was his age and she was going to have a little baby.  
  
He knew she had to be scared. And while her mom disapproved, she was still supporting her.  
  
Kirsten hadn't had that support. She was a great mother, but he couldn't picture her at sixteen. And Caleb was definitely domineering if you didn't know him and from what he'd heard, Kirsten's mom was even worse.  
  
Teresa was a tough girl, she'd been through so much and while he knew that having a kid at sixteen had never been in her plans, he didn't doubt that she would be a great mother, a good wife. She was good for Eddie. And Eddie was good for her, too. Better than he'd been.  
  
Eddie appeared in the waiting room. "Dude."  
  
Ryan was already standing up. "What's wrong? Everything okay?"  
  
"I think I'm going to pass out," Eddie replied, stricken.  
  
"Is she having the baby?"  
  
Eddie nodded. "I can't stay – it's...she's having the baby," he said.  
  
Kirsten smiled, guiding Eddie back down the hall and talking soothingly into his ear until he nodded and disappeared back into the room.  
  
Kirsten was a good mom. She was his mom.  
  
"Let's sit back down, hopefully he'll stick it out this time, it should be over soon," Kirsten smiled.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
She nudged Ryan along into the room after the nurses had said they could go in.  
  
It had taken longer than she'd expected after Eddie's slight attack of nerves but she smiled at the small bundle in Teresa's arms.  
  
It was strange to be here with Ryan and these friends from his past but she treasured the opportunity, even if it brought up so many thoughts of all that she'd missed with Ryan.  
  
She hadn't been able to hold him when he was born. She hadn't heard his first cries, or seen his first smile. She hadn't been able to count his fingers and toes and tickle his belly.  
  
"It's a girl," Teresa smiled tiredly.  
  
"Congratulations, honey, she's beautiful," Kirsten said honestly, the baby's wrinkled face peeking from the blanket.  
  
"She's all shriveled," Ryan said, earning a glare from Teresa and an annoyed poke from Eddie.  
  
"Don't talk about my baby girl like that," Eddie said.  
  
"Thanks for all your help, Kirsten...do you want to hold her?" Teresa asked.  
  
"I held her first," Eddie was telling Ryan proudly. "Even cut the cord."  
  
"Wasn't that gross?" Ryan asked, teasing. He leaned in to hug Teresa after Kirsten accepted the tiny baby in her arms.  
  
She sat down and held the child close against her chest, tuning out their voices and trying to stay composed under Ryan's curious gaze.  
  
"What are you going to name her?" Kirsten asked as the baby blinked at her with dark brown eyes.  
  
"Anica Grace," Teresa said.  
  
"That's a wonderful name," she said. She stood up and lowered the baby into Eddie's extended arms.  
  
She immediately felt the lack of warmth against her chest and felt like crying.  
  
But Ryan put his arm around her, steadying her.  
  
She had to keep holding onto her son and making sure that he knew she wasn't giving him up to anyone again.  
  
\--------------------------------   
  
It seemed like Trey's release helped Ryan get over Sadie much faster than they expected. Even though Trey didn't ask for anything and had a small savings account to help him get on his feet after his job on the construction site; Ryan insisted on paying for stuff for him anyway. He bought him several sets of coveralls and expensive boots for his new job at the garage and other clothes and a watch to help him get on his feet without feeling 'poor'.  
  
Caleb was pleased just for the fact that Ryan was getting used to spending his money without feeling weird about it. Trey wasn't taking advantage from what Caleb had seen and he breathed a lot easier.  
  
It wasn't that he didn't trust Trey, but he knew how hard it was to adjust to being fresh out of jail and free after months behind bars thanks to some of his friends' experiences.  
  
"Caleb, you're looking well," Jack Smith smiled, walking over and shaking his hand.  
  
"Thanks, Jackie, how are you doing?" Caleb asked, greeting him.  
  
"Good, thanks. I just wanted to come over and talk to you about your grandson, Ryan," the man said, sitting down across from him at his table in the Yacht Club.  
  
"Ah, yes, he's in school with your daughter, Starla, I think, right?" Caleb remembered.  
  
"Yes, and I have to say that the kid's been on a lot of the Harbor parents' minds lately," Jack said.  
  
"How do you mean?" Caleb asked, wondering what was on his mind.  
  
"After the Sathers girls' arrest, things have been a little...strange," Jack said.  
  
"I know Ryan's been going out a little more with the locals, is something going on?" Caleb asked.  
  
With the loss of Sadie, Ryan had been hanging out with Zach and Taylor and he knew that he'd been going to some of the Newport kids' parties but he hadn't been late for curfew or coming home drunk as far as he knew. Renee said Lindsay was always home on time, too.  
  
"You could say that. I used to have a lot of trouble with Starla, I used to find drugs I couldn't even identify in her car – but since Ryan's been coming to the parties, she...she's been coming home on time...sober. It's so weird," Jack explained. "Apparently Ryan and his close friends don't drink or party like that and since they've been accepted in the 'cool' circles, things have started to change."  
  
Caleb was surprised.  
  
"I'm not saying it's all thanks to Ryan, but I have to admit I feel a lot safer knowing Starla's using a designated driver and is around people who are a little more...safe," Jack said. "She had a friend over last night, Taylor Townsend, I think, to study and when I checked in on them – they were actually studying."  
  
Caleb couldn't stifle his chuckle but Jack smiled, too. "Ryan's a little...mature for his age. In most areas, that is. He's a good kid. Maybe Starla's just growing up."  
  
"Maybe. But I think that grandson of yours has something to do with it, too. Rumor is that he had a pretty rough life before you guys brought him to Newport," Jack fished.  
  
"You could say that. But we're trying to make up for the years we missed with him. He's settling in," Caleb replied.  
  
"Well, Constance and I would love to have your family over for dinner sometime. We're having a party next week with the in-laws and I know Starla would love to have some kids her own age there. The Stephens are coming because my father-in-law is a congressman and they're old friends. Isn't Renee's daughter dating Zach?"  
  
"I'll extend the invitation," Caleb agreed, still pondering the man's words.  
  
"Great, I'll send you an email when I have all the details," Jack smiled. "Hope to see you soon," he said, shaking his hand in farewell.  
  
Caleb knew how good Ryan had been for his own family, but he hadn't expected the kind of effect that Jack had described.  
  
*********************************  
  
  
“Will you do me a favor while I run up to get some papers from a colleague?” Sandy asked, parking in front of a large law firm in the center of the Newport business district.  
  
“Sure, if I can,” Ryan shrugged. They were headed over to the Newport Group to have lunch with Kirsten and Caleb until Sandy had gotten an urgent call asking him to get something from some lawyer. He had the day off school for a Teacher's Workday and he was looking forward to seeing Caleb and Kirsten at the helm of the 'family business'. Caleb had been dropping more hints about wanting him to take an interest.  
  
“Get me a coffee from across the street – a tall…” he started.  
  
“I remember, I’ll get it,” Ryan laughed, getting out of the car and catching the keys he tossed to him.  
  
“I’ll be right out,” Sandy promised.  
  
Ryan nodded, but was already making his way across the street to the Starbucks.  
  
The cashier was having an argument with one of the customers and he ended up at the back of the line.  
  
But the lady in front of him was nice scenery. She was wearing a short business skirt and her ass looked like it would be a perfect fit in his bed.  
  
She caught him looking and he flashed a small smile, not embarrassed at being caught. She wouldn’t wear a skirt like that if she didn’t want people to notice, it was all about knowing the right way to notice. Admiring was different from leering.  
  
She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and gave him the once over with her eyes.  
  
He was glad he hadn’t shaved today.  
  
“Haven’t seen you here before,” she said, her eyes studying him.  
  
“Just stopped for caffeine, this isn’t really my neighborhood,” Ryan replied.  
  
She nodded. “Where is your neighborhood?” she asked, staying where she was as the line moved forward so he could step closer to her.  
  
She smelled like Hailey’s perfume, but she had a different scent underneath.  
  
It had been a while since he’d had a moment of lust at first sight, but the peek of her cleavage under her business jacket was enough to tease his libido.  
  
“I come from all over,” Ryan said, keeping his voice gruff.  
  
“I bet you do,” she said.  
  
“My name’s Ryan,” he said, offering her his hand.  
  
She took it with a warm, firm shake that went on too long, her fingers tracing over the rough spots on his palms. “Rachel.”  
  
“Very nice to meet you,” he said.  
  
“Likewise.”  
  
It was her turn to order and he distracted himself by looking at her hips and ass and her hot legs…  
  
“There you are – she wasn’t in her office, I’m sorry for making us have to stop for nothing,” Sandy said, appearing beside him in line. “You been waiting long?”  
  
Cockblocked by Sandy. Not cool.  
  
Rachel turned around seemed to do a double take. “Sandy – hi, I didn’t think you’d be here this soon,” she said.  
  
Uh oh. This was even less cool.  
  
“Rachel – yeah, I told you I was stopping on my way uptown, you weren’t in your office, I should have known you’d be where the coffee was,” Sandy said, greeting her. “Hey, I want you to meet Ryan, he’s Kirsten’s son that lives with us now.”  
  
Rachel hid her blush behind a chaste smile, much different than her sultry one from earlier. “Ryan. Of course, very nice to meet you.”  
  
“You, too,” he said. “I didn’t know they had lawyers as hot as you,” he murmured under his breath when they shook hands a second time. She blushed but gave no other sign that she'd heard him for Sandy's benefit, he hoped.  
  
“I have the papers in my briefcase outside, I’ll get them for you,” Rachel said, winking at Ryan.  
  
Maybe she didn’t know exactly how old he was.  
  
Ryan ordered the coffee while the lawyers chatted, but he didn’t miss Rachel watching him in his peripheral vision through the window.  
  
“You ready, kid?” Sandy asked, taking his coffee gratefully when he met them out front.  
  
“Sure,” Ryan said.  
  
“Great to meet you, Ryan, Sandy’s told me a lot about you, but I have to say it was a pleasure,” Rachel said, shaking his hand again.  
  
But the business card left in his palm made it worth it.  
  
Maybe things were looking up.  
  
Once he was back in the car, behind the wheel so Sandy could go over the urgent papers, he finally shook off all thoughts of Sandy recognizing the chemistry and asked, "Do you work with her?"  
  
"She's still in college, pre-law and is interning there. I graduated law school with her brother. I've been trying to keep my eye on her for Lenny; Rachel's got a wild streak."  
  
That was something Ryan would like to see for himself.  
  
*********************************  
  
  
Lindsay laughed at Zach's enthusiastic story about something that had happened to him at his school in D.C. and enjoyed his arm around her shoulders on Taylor's couch.  
  
Things had definitely changed for her in Newport. She'd always been a wallflower – a nerd – at all her other schools.  
  
But after her involvement in the Jess confrontation, her reputation at school had shifted. She and Zach had started getting invitations to all sorts of parties on the weekend.  
  
Ryan and Taylor were her two other closest friends and when they admitted to getting the same invites, they felt like they could go to the parties without feeling out of place.  
  
The first few parties had been packed with drunken idiots and drugs she'd only seen on TV, but Ryan had taken a firm line and, without seeming like a total dick, told people that the drugs made him uncomfortable. She knew the drugs were still around, but the kids didn't do them in front of Ryan and her friends anymore, taking them into a back room, or at least warning them before they cut lines on the table so they could step outside.  
  
It was weird how Ryan had become some sort of icon to the Newpsie kids. He had more money, apparently, considering the rumored inheritance of Caleb's will, than most of the other native Newpsies and with his colored past, he was James Dean to them.  
  
But he didn't seem to notice it and just took the 'new friends' in stride. Zach told her how many girls hit on him a night, but that he wasn't interested in what they offered. He was a cool guy and he didn't hit on girls that he didn't have a spark with, or that were dating other people, she knew that firsthand.  
  
Ryan hadn't changed despite all the new people clamoring for his attention and was loyal to his core circle.  
  
Even tonight with at least thirty random kids from Harbor hanging out in Taylor's empty house, Ryan was sitting on the couch across from her and Zach sipping a beer he'd been musing over all night. There were a couple of kids from the soccer team and Starla's crew on the couch with him and on the floor playing the dance game on the X-Box but Ryan didn't seem to realize how much it looked like he was holding court.  
  
He wasn't totally back to normal, she knew he missed Sadie, but he seemed a little happier every day.  
  
Since her Mom was getting serious with Caleb, she had a feeling that she'd be seeing more of him at family things and she was grateful for having Ryan as her friend to help her with the looming trickiness of having Caleb and her mom possibly becoming long-term.  
  
*********************************  
  
  
"What do you think?" Kirsten asked Trey as they walked through the last apartment of the day.  
  
"What's the rent on this one?" he asked, picking up the pamphlet from the counter.  
  
It had been hard to find rental places that he could afford on his budget that were in areas of Chino that seemed safe and still close to his job.  
  
But he'd turned down both her and Jimmy's offers on a car and had surprised them all by insisting that he had to do it on his own.  
  
Hailey had confided that he was trying to make his brother proud and she'd toned down her offers to try and make it easier on him, thus the refined search for apartments.  
  
"I think this one is the best we've seen so far. There's a police station a couple of blocks away, so crime shouldn't be bad, and I'm only four blocks from the garage," Trey said. "It's perfect."  
  
"Are you sure? There are a couple of other places we could check," Kirsten offered.  
  
He grinned at her. "I like this, if it meets all your criteria, that is."  
  
She smiled. He'd proven that he could control his temper around Ryan so far. Sandy had told her how he'd calmed Ryan down when he'd found out about the video and Jess' betrayal. It was clear by how hard he was trying that he wanted to stay in Ryan's life. She thought that Hailey probably was giving him a reason to stay straight, too, and she was really hoping he could keep it up.  
  
"I approve," she said. "And I know you don't want to take our money, but since I gave you the extra restrictions on your house hunt, I need to repay you in thanks for indulging me," she added. "I'm going to pay your deposit and first month's rent."  
  
"I can't..."  
  
"It's the least I can do. I know you want to see Ryan, and since you're living in a decent neighborhood, I have no problem with him coming over as much as he wants. You've even got an extra bedroom so he has a place to sleep," she pointed out.  
  
"Free babysitting, yeah, I remember," he smiled. "All right."  
  
She held out her hand. "Do we have a deal?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, clasping her hand. "Deposit and first months rent..."  
  
"And furniture," she said before he let go, earning a glare. "We shook on it."  
  
"You guys really play dirty," Trey said, but she saw his amusement.  
  
"I suspect Ryan's not going to be your only guest that's related to me, I just want all of you to be comfortable. I'll let you help pick it out," she said, patting him on the back as they went to find the landlord.  
  
"Don't tempt me, I'll ask for a pool table, or a Jacuzzi," he teased.  
  
"We'll start slow," she laughed.  
  
\--------------------  
  
Trey yawned, fumbling for his apartment's key on his ring. He should have followed Ryan's advice and put his house and car keys on a different ring than his work keys.  
  
Ryan's car was downstairs and Trey was hoping the kid had surprised him with dinner.  
  
He loved that Ryan came over so often. He'd been out of jail two weeks and Ryan had seen him almost every day. He had three other houses he could chill at - three limbs of a family tree – but he still made time to drive down to hang out with him.  
  
"Ryan? You here?" he called, noticing the TV on in the living room and, oddly, a pair of stilettos on the couch.  
  
Oh no. Ryan better not be using his apartment as a place to make out with girls.  
  
Trey had only slept with one girl in Ryan's bed – and he totally apologized for that.  
  
"Shit..." Ryan's hushed voice drifted down the hall.  
  
Trey put his coat down and walked to stand in front of the guest room that was Ryan's claim out of the two available. Trey had his own bathroom.  
  
He loved his apartment.  
  
Ryan stepped out of the room, startled to find Trey standing right there.  
  
Trey loved catching his baby brother doing something wrong. Heh. "Who's in there with you?"  
  
"What? Nobody – it's just me, I was...working out, I didn't know you'd be home so early," Ryan said.  
  
"How does red lipstick factor into your solo workout?" Trey asked, nodding at the telltale marks on his unbuttoned jeans.  
  
The door swung open and a smoking hot blonde stepped out, flushed with her hair pulled back in a haphazard ponytail. She was wearing one of Ryan's button downs over a black skirt. "Hi. I'm Rachel."  
  
She did not look like a student from Harbor. He raised an eyebrow at Ryan.  
  
But he was definitely impressed. He wasn't Ryan's father, but it was fun to freak him out anyway.  
  
"I'm going to make dinner. Turn the stereo on," Trey said. "It'll be ready in about an hour if you want any. And don't break anything," he added.  
  
"Thanks, I'm just going to finish my workout," Ryan said, ducking back into the room.  
  
"Nice to meet you," Rachel said, closing the door. The lock clicked and one of them giggled.  
  
He wondered where the kid had got his skills from.  
  
He was going to take credit for that himself.  
  
He went into the kitchen and put on one of the CDs Hailey had made for him.  
  
When he'd first started sleeping with her, it had been just for fun. Just fucking.  
  
But now, after all the months he'd spent time with her in small delicious doses between lockdown, and the lazy full days he'd spent with her after his parole...  
  
It was more than just fucking.  
  
He missed her when she wasn't around. And he found himself getting jealous when she'd dress up and go to those Newpsie parties with those rich horny punks.  
  
Ryan had bought him a suit a few days ago and told him that he had to come to the party that Caleb was planning to propose to Renee.  
  
And Trey was actually considering it.  
  
Kirsten had turned out to be a good ally and she'd been teaching him, subtly, how to behave in polite company. She'd also told him what kind of flowers Hailey liked and which cologne was her favorite.  
  
And since he'd been going to Ryan's Thursday poker nights, he hoped that Caleb Nichol wouldn't kill him if he asked Hailey to be his date for the big party.  
  
The tacos were ready by the sixth track on the CD and he heard Ryan speaking quietly to his friend.  
  
"Tacos, awesome," Ryan said, stepping in. Rachel was straightening her jacket and putting on her heels behind him.  
  
"I've got to get back to work, Ry, I'll call you. Nice to meet you, Trey."  
  
Trey didn't say anything as he put the hamburger into a bowl and set the table.  
  
"Go ahead, I know you're itching to ask me," Ryan said,  
  
"Which question do you want me to start with?" Trey asked, glaring at him. "Where the hell did you meet her?"  
  
"She's just a friend – we're just...fucking," Ryan said.  
  
"Not an answer," Trey snorted, barely hiding his grin. Ryan had definitely learned his tricks from him.  
  
"I met her in a coffee shop. She's...older."  
  
"How much older? Is she a Newport MILF, because we've been warned about them," Trey reminded.  
  
Ryan smiled. "No...she's the little sister of one of Sandy's lawyer friends. She's pre-law and doing an internship down here."  
  
"Score – but totally not cool," Trey censored himself. "Sandy will kill you! If Kirsten doesn't give you a chastity belt first!"  
  
"We usually go to her place – and it's totally not serious, we barely even talk and it's...I need something to be easy right now. Everything's been so hard and I just need something I don't have to think about. Rachel's laid back..." Ryan started.  
  
"Does she know how old you are?"  
  
"She asked if I was legal," Ryan muttered.  
  
"And what did you tell her?" Trey asked, openly laughing at Ryan's embarrassment.  
  
"That I was totally legal...in some states..." Ryan replied, blushing.  
  
"Damn, dude. You better be careful. Really careful, you hear me? Because if Kirsten or Sandy ever ask me about this, I'll have to tell them," Trey said.  
  
"What? You wouldn't – " Ryan protested.  
  
"Just don't fall asleep at her house or turn your phone off and give them a reason to ask. I won't rat you out unless you're fucking up, isn't that how our new 'clean life' rules go?" Trey asked.  
  
"That's so wrong," Ryan pouted, but started loading his plate with tacos.  
  
"Like you wouldn't rat me out if you caught me doing lines in the bathroom on company time," Trey said. "New lives, new rules."  
  
"Fine," Ryan sighed. "I'll be careful."  
  
"And I'll watch your back and let you know if Hailey says anything to me about your hickeys," Trey grinned.  
  
Ryan twisted his head to try and look for hickeys. "Fuck."  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"So. Taylor, we're almost friends, now, right?" Starla asked, putting her pen down.  
  
"Sure, what's up?" Taylor asked, marking her place in her textbook and looking up at her latest study partner.  
  
"You're pretty good friends with Ryan."  
  
"Yeah, why?" Taylor asked, suspicion flaring.  
  
"Because I like him. And before you go off on how everybody likes him, I haven't been throwing myself at him or anything like those other bitches. But he doesn't even look at me, and I really...god, Taylor, you're from here, there's like, no nice guys' in this whole fucking town. Everything's all about money or status, and he's a bona fide nice guy. And he's single and I'm single..." Starla confessed.  
  
"What do you want me to do about it, match-make? Because I don't know if I can do that, I don't know if I know you well enough to trust him with you," Taylor replied honestly.  
  
"Just give me some kind of clue on what I'm doing wrong. Is it because I'm popular? Because, he should just face it that he's popular, too. And I'm not after his money because I have plenty of my own...and even if I just want to use him for his body – it's beneficial for the both of us and I know all about keeping it secret if that's what it takes," Starla said.  
  
"You shouldn't be telling me all this, you should tell Ryan," Taylor said. "You're friends with him, too."  
  
"Not like you, Zach and Lindsay. You knew him before he came to school, when he almost got killed. And there's always tons of people around when I try to talk to him at parties or at school," Starla said. "Any time I've invited him over, other people have invited themselves over, too."  
  
"You could call him," Taylor said. Wait, was she supporting this now? Or even better, was she really going to be Ryan Atwood's date screener?  
  
"Most everyone in Newport knows that I'm adopted. My parents got me when I was six months old," Starla said quietly. "Mom had a few miscarriages and when she finally carried a child for the full nine months, it was a stillborn. So Daddy made some calls and brought me home."  
  
"I didn't really think that story was true," Taylor admitted. "I try not to believe all the gossip that flies around."  
  
Starla sat up, running her hand through her long hair. "My parents told me when I was thirteen and I flipped out. I made them tell me everything they knew about my birth parents and just like one of those preteen novels, I went on a search for them."  
  
"Did you find them?"  
  
"I looked my mom up in the California police database that my dad has on his computer," Starla said.  
  
Taylor wasn't sure why Starla was telling her but she was too intrigued to tell her to stop.  
  
"She was fourteen when she had me. She didn't tell anyone she was pregnant and she gave birth to me in her boyfriend's backseat and left me there. The cops found me in the stolen car. They had her prints in the system because she had a juvenile record and she was found dead in a crackhouse in Recida three years later of a drug overdose," Starla said.  
  
"Jesus, Starla," Taylor whispered.  
  
"I've got all these questions that I wish I could get the answers to, but I don't know if I even want the answers. But Ryan...his life's been the opposite of mine. He got dropped into a life with drugs and, like, beatings and being poor...and now he's here with all the money he can spend and luxury." Starla sighed. "I was so mad when I found out I was adopted, I really thought that my life would be better when I found my real parents...and if Ryan knew he was adopted years ago, I want to know why he didn't get mad and find Kirsten or Caleb sooner," she said.  
  
"I don't know that much about Ryan. He doesn't really talk about his past that much with us. I mean, we know his brother from Chino and a few of his friends, but not about the whole family dynamic. Or his feelings. He doesn't really talk about those with people he's not sleeping with," Taylor said.  
  
"God, don't tell anyone about my little spilling of guts here," Starla said, giving her a pointed look. "I just want to prove to you that I'm sincere. I want to be friends with Ryan, more than acquaintances, in hopefully a horizontal way and I'm asking for your help."  
  
Taylor studied her study partner.  
  
"Come on, just...a little help?" Starla asked.  
  
"I'm just processing the most popular girl in school asking me advice on how to get a boyfriend," Taylor replied.  
  
"Whatever," Starla snorted. "He's not a normal boy or I wouldn't need help."  
  
"I'll think about it. You, think about algebra," Taylor said.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
"Holy Christ," Rachel panted when Ryan pulled out and rolled off her.  
  
Nobody did missionary like Ryan, and even if he preferred the wheelbarrow; she'd never pass up a chance to have his biceps bulging around her and his mouth on hers. His hot hot tongue.  
  
"You are so totally my workout," he smiled, sweaty and shining in the twisted sheets.  
  
God, he was such a fine piece of man. Or boy.  
  
She'd been skating over the thin ice of his actual age for weeks now, enjoying the good sex and thrill of a secret affair.  
  
But she had to go back to school and she found herself trying to plan days that she could drive down to see him, and that was too much.  
  
He was just a kid. Sandy's kid. Sort of.  
  
"What is it? Did you not get off?" Ryan asked, his blue eyes dark with concern.  
  
"You always get me off, Ry," she said, kissing him.  
  
"Then what's wrong?"  
  
"I think it's time for us to end this little fling. Before it goes sour," she sighed.  
  
He threaded his fingers through her hair. "I hate to agree, but...you're right. You're really hot, Rachel. And smart and...hot. But we're not right for each other..."  
  
"Right now," she finished. She sat up. "I really like you. And one day, when you're legal in this state, I might want to ask you out. And I don't want Sandy and Kirsten to mace me if I do," she said.  
  
He laughed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around her. His beautiful arms. "Definitely give me a call," he whispered.  
  
"How about one more time for luck," she said, her hands finding his cock.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryan was going to miss Rachel, but it was nice to have the guilt of a forbidden relationship off his mind.  
  
He stopped by the grocery store on his way home and bought burgers and hot dogs. Jimmy and his girls were coming over and Caleb and Renee and he wanted to do something nice for them. Takeout was so impersonal, but grilling out always put people in a good mood.  
  
Seth loved hot dogs more that anything and said Ryan made ones that tasted better than anyone else's. Ryan liked being a big brother.  
  
It was weird how easily he fit into this life now. Kirsten and Sandy's lectures had terrified him at first but he had to admit that their parenting was much easier to deal with than Dawn's had ever been.  
  
In the old days, he wouldn't have thought twice about fucking Rachel, but with his new family, he didn't want to get in trouble.  
  
He wasn't afraid of disappointing them because of an inevitable beating, but because they were so good to him.  
  
But he was lonely and bored and off balance after the Sadie and Jess experience and he didn't want to bother finding another girlfriend when he could get the sex with no strings.  
  
Just guilt. Lots and lots of guilt.  
  
And once Trey busted him, he knew that he had to end it before his brother teased him to death or ratted him out 'for his own good'.  
  
He walked into the house and smiled at Seth's excited expression from the kitchen table where he was doing his homework.  
  
"What'd you bring me?" Seth asked.  
  
"Hi, honey," Kirsten said, taking a bag from him and kissing him on the cheek.  
  
"I brought us hot dogs and hamburgers. I figured we could cook out since we're having so many people over," Ryan said.  
  
"That's a great idea. Always thinking ahead," Kirsten smiled.  
  
"I love your hot dogs – it's going to be a great Tuesday, Mom, can I be done with homework now?" Seth asked from the table.  
  
"You can be done when you are done," Kirsten said. "Stop procrastinating and start working if you want a hot dog."  
  
"You're a mean mommy," Seth pouted, picking up his pencils.  
  
Ryan shared a smile with Kirsten and gave her an impulsive hug. "I'm going to go change and then check on the grill."  
  
He wasn't going to brood about being single. He was going to enjoy the parts of his life that were actually functioning right now and hopefully the rest would fall into place.  
  
\---------------  
  
  
Sandy spotted Ryan by the grill and quickly made his way over beside him. “Can I talk to you?”  
  
“Can I grill while I listen?” Ryan asked.  
  
Sandy glanced around to make sure Seth and the Cooper girls were out of earshot. “Sure. But you might not want to talk out here.”  
  
“Uh oh. Am I in trouble?”  
  
“I guess that depends on how long you’ve been sleeping with Rachel,” Sandy replied, watching Ryan’s face light up in surprise before falling from guilt.  
  
“I don’t know if I’m sure what you’re talking about,” Ryan hesitated, dropping his gaze back to the burgers.  
  
“I just need to know yes or no,” Sandy said firmly. He’d sensed that Ryan had a new lady in his life that he wasn’t talking about. After his long brood over Alex, the recovery time with Sadie was cake. He was not pleased to find out that Ryan’s rebound was Rachel.  
  
“Uh, not anymore. Does that count?” Ryan asked quietly. “We ended it today.”  
  
“Today, huh? Guess I’m a little late on my lecture. Finish those burgers and then you and I and Kirsten are going to have a little chat,” Sandy said seriously.  
  
“Do you have to tell her? She’ll…she’ll be really mad,” Ryan said quietly.  
  
“Like I’m not?” He lowered his voice. “Look, you’re doing great here, your grades are astronomically good and you’ve been staying out of trouble and following the rules, but we’ve got to do something about your…libido.”  
  
“What are you going to do, neuter me?” Ryan scoffed.  
  
Sandy glared at him and Ryan was immediately apologetic. “Don’t get smart before you come clean with Kirsten.”  
  
“I have to tell her?” Ryan whispered.  
  
“Oh yeah, kid,” Sandy nodded. “So hurry up so we can get this out of the way before dinner.”  
  
“Can’t it wait until after…”  
  
“Rachel’s not exactly one of your mother’s favorite people. I don’t think it can wait and I’ve already seen you eat three hot dogs before Caleb and Renee left, so don’t pretend you’re too hungry to be lectured," Sandy said.  
  
"I'll be in soon," Ryan said.  
  
"What's going on?" Kirsten walked up and kissed Sandy on the cheek. "You look like you're in punishment mode."  
  
"Ryan's going to meet us in the kitchen and talk to us about it," Sandy said.  
  
Sandy had a rush of sympathy when he saw Ryan's worried face. There was no doubt anymore that he loved his mother.  
  
He was a really good kid and he forgot sometimes where Ryan had grown up. Where punishment took on an entirely different weight.  
  
"Oh. Jimmy, take over for Ryan, we need to talk to him, it seems," Kirsten said, faltering under Ryan's guilty glance.  
  
"Sure thing," Jimmy said, glancing between them. "Everything okay?"  
  
"I'll explain later," Ryan said, handing over the spatula.  
  
"Come on, kid," Sandy urged, guiding him into the house with his hand on his shoulder.  
  
Jimmy was Ryan's real father, but Sandy was the next closest thing to a father the kid had. And he took it seriously. He liked to think that Ryan trusted him and that he was doing a good job. He didn't want to scold him, but he'd broken several rules in his pursuit of Rachel and it was time they laid it all out on the table. Figured out the next step.  
  
"What's going on?" Kirsten asked when Ryan took a seat on the stool.  
  
Ryan glanced at him before lowering his gaze again. Sullen.  
  
"Ryan, tell your mother why I'm upset," Sandy urged quietly.  
  
Kirsten gave him a startled look.  
  
"I've been seeing someone. Just for a few weeks. Not, like, dating. We've just been sleeping together. But she's older and I knew you'd be mad and we ended it today," Ryan said quietly. "I'm sorry."  
  
Kirsten pursed her lips in a tight line. She glared at Sandy. "How long have you known?"  
  
"I just found out today," Sandy replied.  
  
"How did you find out? We were totally stealth," Ryan muttered.  
  
"Someone down by the pier asked who your new girlfriend was. I think he works part time at the motel," Sandy explained.  
  
"Stupid small town," Ryan grumbled.  
  
"Who is she?" Kirsten asked.  
  
Sandy didn't want to be the one to tell Kirsten that it was Rachel.  
  
"Ryan?" She waited until he met her gaze.  
  
"Her name's...Rachel," he whispered.  
  
Kirsten's gasp gave him a chill.  
  
He still remembered the night they'd had her over to babysit Seth when they were new in Newport. Kirsten had never gotten over finding Rachel having sex in their Jacuzzi while Seth was in bed when they'd returned home.  
  
Rachel had been in her late teens, but Kirsten had given her a grown up tirade. Sandy had remained friends with her brother, and by default, had eventually forgiven her for her teenage mistake.  
  
But this...was more than a teenage mistake on her part.  
  
"Hell no," Kirsten stated.  
  
"It's over now and...why are you so mad?" Ryan asked after a beat.  
  
"I wouldn't normally say this – but you are not allowed to see that...woman ever again. She's off limits. I don't care how good the sex was or how cool you felt banging an older woman. She's off limits," Kirsten said.  
  
Ryan was visibly affected by Kirsten's anger.  
  
"We know you've had a rough few weeks. A rough few months. But you have got to find a better way to work off your stress than having casual sex," Sandy said, trying to shift the focus back to the actual rule that was broken instead of Kirsten's dislike of Rachel.  
  
"What were you thinking?" Kirsten whispered.  
  
"It was...fun. No strings. Everything in Newport has strings," Ryan replied quietly. "I needed something...easy."  
  
"Rachel's easy all right," Kirsten muttered.  
  
"You're grounded. Three weeks," Sandy said, squeezing his wife's shoulder.  
  
"But..." Ryan started, closing his mouth when Kirsten glared at him.  
  
"You'll pick up your brother and sisters and take them to school. No more visits to Trey by yourself, no phone calls after eight o'clock and no more hanging out with your friends until you've served your sentence," Kirsten said.  
  
Ryan sighed. "Fine."  
  
"And you won't go on any more dates unless you bring the girl home to meet us first," she added.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're lucky we don't start sending chaperones with you," she added.  
  
"This is totally not fair," Ryan protested.  
  
"You broke our trust, you have to earn it back," Sandy said.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Can I talk to you a moment? Privately?" Caleb asked, surprising Lindsay from her seat beside Zach in the diner.  
  
"Uh, sure," she said, giving Zach a confused expression.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Zach asked.  
  
"I hope so," Caleb replied. "I'll get her back to you intact," he added.  
  
She followed Caleb outside into the afternoon shade and sat down beside him on a bench.  
  
"What's going on?" she asked finally.  
  
"Do you think your mother loves me?"  
  
She was surprised by the question, but she suddenly had a feeling she knew where this was headed. "Um, sure?"  
  
Caleb shifted in his seat and she realized he was nervous. Wow.  
  
"You treat my mom better than any of her other boyfriends. I can tell she really likes you," Lindsay said honestly.  
  
"I love your mother. And I want her to be my wife. I know you're sixteen and probably too old to need a father, but if I ask her and she accepts, you're going to be my stepdaughter. You'll be a part of my family. I won't propose to your mother if you have a problem with it," Caleb said slowly.  
  
"Oh, god...look, you make my mom really happy and if you want to ask her...you should ask her," Lindsay said. "Don't worry about me..." But it meant a lot that he was doing this, too. None of her mom's other boyfriends had really gave a damn about her unless they couldn't find a sitter.  
  
"I want you both to come and live with me. We'd have breakfast together, you'd see me every day," Caleb said.  
  
Lindsay smiled, seeing his genuine eyes. "As long as you keep my mother happy, then we're cool. And I think...if you really do propose, she'll be really happy."  
  
Caleb grinned widely, putting an arm around her and pulling her into a hug she found herself returning.  
  
"Thank you," he whispered. He cleared his throat and let her go, straightening his suit and standing up. "You should probably get back to your boyfriend before he stares a hole in the back of our heads."  
  
Lindsay smiled at the sight of Zach watching them through the window.  
  
She could deal with this. Her mom was happier than she ever remembered and she had learned from Ryan that Caleb's imposing attitude was all for show.  
  
She slid back into the booth beside Zach.  
  
"What was all that about?"  
  
"He wanted my blessing to propose to my mom," she explained.  
  
"Did you give it to him?" Zach asked.  
  
"Yeah. I mean, I knew it was coming. My mom's been acting like a lovestruck teenager for weeks now," Lindsay shrugged. "And it was nice he asked."  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
  
Ryan sighed, leaning his head back against the couch's headrest in the lounge.  
  
Being grounded sucked. But Kirsten was really pissed off. Sandy's scolding was nothing compared to Kirsten's disappointment.  
  
But he hadn't known about Rachel's adventures in babysitting. She was a hot chick and that's all that had mattered to him.  
  
"Hey, what's got you brooding today?" Taylor asked, smiling as she took a seat beside him.  
  
"Eh. Grounded. Again," Ryan shrugged.  
  
"Oh no, what this time?" she asked.  
  
"I don't really want to talk about it," Ryan sighed. "What's up with you?"  
  
"Not much. But I did have an interesting conversation with a mutual acquaintance of ours the other day," she said.  
  
"Oh yeah? What kind of conversation?" he asked curiously.  
  
"Starla wanted me to help her get you to ask her out," Taylor replied.  
  
"Starla?" Ryan asked, genuinely surprised. "Seriously? She's way out of my league."  
  
"She's crushing on you hard. Has to be to ask me for help," Taylor shrugged.  
  
"So you're playing matchmaker now?" Ryan asked, studying his friend. Starla. Interesting.  
  
"I didn't promise her anything. But I figured regardless, I should give you the heads up. She's really into you, I think," Taylor admitted. She lowered her voice, looking around. "She's adopted, too and I think she wants to bond or something."  
  
"Weird. I'll keep my eyes open," Ryan said. "Maybe if I get un-grounded in the next century, I'll ask her out."  
  
"Really? Is she the kind of girl you're looking for now?" Taylor smirked.  
  
"She's my age," Ryan muttered.  
  
"Ah, so you got busted for your college girl, tsk tsk, Ryan," Taylor grinned.  
  
Ryan frowned at her. He was going to have to have a talk with Zach about the importance of secrets.  
  
"You want me to set up a stealth meeting?" Taylor asked.  
  
"I can handle my own love life, Taylor. But thanks for the heads up," Ryan replied.  
  
"Glad to help," she smiled. "I've got to go meet Lindsay, I'll see you later."  
  
Ryan waved his goodbye and leaned his head back against the couch again.  
  
He was definitely brooding. A hot girl his own age was interested in him and he was too grounded to take advantage.  
  
He knew Trey would be disappointed in him. He was an Atwood and he couldn't let some stupid grounding, or say, jail, keep him from getting laid, or as close as he was allowed to get.  
  
Sandy and Kirsten couldn't see him at school.  
  
He felt a rush of optimism. Starla was sure to meet Kirsten's standards. And he could keep himself from getting into her pants too soon. He'd lasted a while with Sadie.  
  
Even if he just hung out with her a little to test their chemistry, it would be better than brooding over another mother's disappointment with his life choices.  
  
He glanced up when he recognized Zach walking in with some other guys and gave them a wave. He saw Starla following behind them with her cluster of giggling sidekicks. He smiled at her, raising one eyebrow as a test and being rewarded with her flushed cheeks.  
  
She was crushing on him. Maybe he could get some flirting time in during school and have a date lined up for his parole.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
  
Trey hadn't been this nervous in a long time. Not when it came to a chick, anyway.  
  
But Hailey had a weird effect on him.  
  
She was sitting at the table eating something he couldn't identify that she'd brought with her from Newport.  
  
"Stop staring at my food," she said, not looking up.  
  
God, she was so fucking hot. So fucking out of his league.  
  
Ryan would be so disappointed in him. He was totally flailing.  
  
"What is it? You look like you're constipated or something, do you need me to go get you some Metamucil?" Hailey teased, but he saw the flash of worry behind her joke.  
  
"You're really hot. And funny and smart. And I really like you. I'm not in jail anymore, but I'm still a felon," Trey said. He had to suck it up and just ask the fucking question. "But I'd like to take this thing we have...up a notch. If you're game."  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Will you go to your Dad's party with me? Like, out in public if I put on a penguin suit and play nice with the Newpsies?"  
  
She opened her mouth, but no words came out.  
  
Fuck. Was he doing this wrong?  
  
"You want to, like, go public?" She was watching him closely and he couldn't avoid her eyes.  
  
"Yeah. If you want," he added.  
  
She pushed the chair back and walked over to him with that swerve of her hips that made his dick stiffen from across any room.  
  
"You want to take me to Daddy's party and wear a suit and dance with me?" Hailey asked, putting her hands on the back of his neck and leaning in close.  
  
"I didn't say anything about dancing," Trey said.  
  
She leaned her forehead against his, her eyes boring into his for an agonizing moment before her lips reached his.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Jimmy smiled when Marissa and Kaitlyn scurried past him with Seth on their heels headed for the playroom after school. Ryan followed after a beat, looking exhausted but smiling at him.  
  
"Have a seat, take a load off. How're you doing?" Jimmy asked, nudging out the stool beside him at the counter.  
  
"Okay, I guess. I'm sure you've heard that I'm grounded again," Ryan sighed, sitting down heavily.  
  
"I did hear that. But I didn't hear why yet, everything all right?" Jimmy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, it's my fault for getting involved with something so...totally against Kirsten's rules," Ryan replied. He glanced behind him to make sure the kids weren't within earshot. "I was seeing this girl, college girl. She's the sister of one of Sandy's friends..."  
  
"Not Rachel," Jimmy realized. He couldn't fight his smile and patted Ryan on the back. "You really know how to pick them, don't you?"  
  
"How does everyone know who Rachel is?" Ryan asked, exasperated.  
  
"She's got quite the reputation around here from her days in high school," Jimmy replied. "What happened?"  
  
"We weren't, like, dating. Just...sleeping together. We broke it off the day of the cookout, but Sandy had found out from somebody and made me come clean to Kirsten," Ryan said. "Got the familiar 'no sex' lecture and grounded indefinitely."  
  
"You want me to talk to her?" Jimmy asked.  
  
"God, no, that would just make it worse. I mean, I knew the rules and I broke them. I'm grounded, sure, but considering my repeat offenses...I can't get that pissed off," Ryan said.  
  
"You're pretty easygoing about being grounded," Jimmy said.  
  
"Yeah, well, let's just say I prefer it to punishments I've had to deal with in the past. Celibacy isn't a rule I expected, but it's still a rule," Ryan said. He glanced at Jimmy. "I like living with Kirsten and Sandy and being able to hang out with Seth and your girls whenever I want. I mean, the bad part about all this is that I can't see Trey, but he's laughing at me for getting busted so it's probably for the best I don't see him right now."  
  
"Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you without making it worse?" Jimmy asked. He was glad that Ryan was so happy at Kirsten's and he knew that Sandy was a good father to him. He was lucky to get to be the father that got to spoil Ryan instead of ground him.  
  
He could live with it.  
  
"Actually, there is. You think you can convince Kirsten to let me bring a date to Caleb's party?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Not Rachel, I hope," Jimmy said.  
  
"God, no. This girl from school. Starla."  
  
"Really? She seems like a nice girl. But she's a Newport girl and you've never acted interested one of those before," Jimmy said.  
  
Ryan shrugged. "Taylor says she likes me. And she's really hot. She seems okay," he said.  
  
"I'll talk to Kirsten," Jimmy said.  
  
"Maybe start with Sandy, and make sure and tell him that I'm not sleeping with her," Ryan said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Kirsten smiled when she saw her sister come into the kitchen with the happy glow that seemed to surround her lately.  
  
As much as she tried to deny it, Trey was good for Hailey. She'd worried that losing responsibility for Ryan would send Trey on a post-jail celebration, but instead, it had tethered him to Ryan and their family in a way she hadn't expected.  
  
Seth loved Trey and she'd even seen flares of jealousy in Ryan's eyes when Seth would fawn over Trey more than he did Ryan.  
  
And while she'd overheard Ryan yelling at his brother over the phone, she wasn't afraid of Trey hurting Ryan anymore. Or Hailey.  
  
She realized that Trey was the only person Ryan had been able to be totally honest with about his feelings and their little meltdown was just a buildup of months of emotion. It didn't mean she was going to give them boxing gloves and let them rumble, but she had a different perspective now.  
  
"Do I even need to ask what's making you so happy today?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"Trey asked me to Dad's party. He's going to wear a suit and everything," Hailey grinned.  
  
"Congratulations, Hailey, for finally finding a man you're willing to take out of the bedroom for once," Kirsten teased.  
  
"You think Dad will be okay with it?" Hailey asked.  
  
"That's a good question. Trey comes to poker night, so I know they're at least friendly, to a point," Kirsten said. "And Dad helped him get his parole and his job at the construction site beforehand."  
  
"He won't make a scene at his own engagement party, will he?" Hailey hesitated.  
  
"I certainly hope not. You could always tell him ahead of time," Kirsten suggested.  
  
Hailey smirked. "I, kind of, want to see the expression on his face."  
  
She swatted at her sister. "That’s not nice!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Ryan took a deep breath to gather his senses and turned the corner. He knew where Starla's locker was.  
  
He just hoped she hadn't already made plans for Saturday. It would be nice to have a girl that was used to the fancy Newport parties on his arm. Alex had never felt comfortable as his date and Sadie would never go.  
  
He was self-conscious as the small group of girls got quiet as he approached. He'd been spotted.  
  
He wasn't sure how 'cliques' worked, but from his standpoint, they weren't much different than gangs. Less illegal, but equally as dangerous.  
  
"Hey, Ryan," Teryl smiled. Teryl was cool, they had English together.  
  
"Hey," Ryan smiled back. Starla finally met his gaze, closing her locker with the flash of the mirror lighting up her face for a moment. "Starla, can I talk to you a sec?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, her eyes lighting up. They took a few steps away from the curious girls and he was grateful she wasn't going to make him ask her out in front of an audience.  
  
He worked better alone.  
  
"What's up?" she asked.  
  
"I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend, like, Saturday," Ryan said.  
  
"Mr. Nichol is having his big party on Saturday," Starla said.  
  
"Yeah, do you want to go?" he asked.  
  
"I was hoping we could do something a little more fun on our first date," she said, her lips turning up teasingly.  
  
"You've thought about our first date?" Ryan countered.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"I'm, sort of, grounded right now or I'd try to live up to your expectations better, but since I can't take you out on a real date, this is the best I can do. I'd really like to hang out," Ryan said.  
  
She turned her smile on fully and nodded. "Sure. I'd really like to hang out, too. My parents are going..."  
  
"You should get them to drop you off at my house and we can ride together. Maybe hang out a little before we have to go to the party," Ryan said.  
  
"Sure. I'll call you tonight, we can discuss details," she grinned.  
  
"Cool. I'll look forward to it," Ryan said, shrugging his backpack onto his shoulder again and walking past the giggling girls toward his class.  
  
That was the easy part. He doubted Saturday would be as easy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"So? Are you ready for this?" Sandy asked Kirsten, putting his arms around his wife where she was getting dressed.  
  
"Ready for what? My dad asking a woman that's my age to be my new stepmother? I'm as ready as I'm going to be," she joked. "Renee's nice and Lindsay's a lovely girl."  
  
"If Renee doesn't kill him for throwing an engagement party before asking for her hand, they'll be family soon," Sandy reminded.  
  
"I can deal," Kirsten smiled.  
  
"And Ryan's grounding's lifted I hear?" He asked.  
  
"No, but Jimmy asked if Ryan could bring a date to the party and I didn't want to make him go alone since he's getting dressed up. He takes his punishment so well that I don't know what to do with him," Kirsten admitted.  
  
"We're lucky," Sandy said.  
  
"God, I know. But when he sulks, it just makes it harder," Kirsten sighed.  
  
"Who's the lucky date?"  
  
"Starla. Her parents are dropping her off here on their way to the club," she said.  
  
"Really? She's not exactly his normal taste," Sandy remarked.  
  
Kirsten glared at him. "She's a nice girl. And at least we know she won't be after his money."  
  
"I thought you were more worried about him spreading his seed," Sandy teased.  
  
"Stop it," she said, swatting at him playfully. "Zip me up?"  
  
His wife was gorgeous and even after all these years, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.  
  
"You're beautiful," he said, kissing her neck and immediately recoiling from the harsh taste of her perfume.  
  
She laughed and they walked out of the room together. Julie and Jimmy had already taken Seth and the girls over to the babysitter's house so the house was quiet.  
  
Too quiet.  
  
They walked together to look in on Ryan's progress with his tux and he smiled when he saw Ryan helping Trey with his tie while the older Atwood glared at him.  
  
"Ready for your Newport debut, Trey?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"I'm as ready as I'm going to get," Trey said nervously.  
  
Ryan stepped out of the way so they could size him up. He dressed up nice.  
  
Kirsten immediately went over to him and began fussing with his hair while Ryan snickered from beside him.  
  
"You're next," Kirsten warned.  
  
"Sandy, I look all right, don't I?" Trey asked.  
  
"Kirsten, let the boys get ready on their own, you look fine, Trey, don't mind her," Sandy said.  
  
"You both look great, your dates should both be the belles of the ball," Kirsten smiled, following him out. "We're having coffee in the kitchen while we wait for Dad."  
  
"Did you see that ring he got Renee? That thing is huge," Ryan told Trey as they left them alone.  
  
"That's nice," Kirsten said, taking his hand.  
  
"Hailey's going to like it," Sandy said.  
  
"What about Dad?"  
  
"He's too nervous to scold," Sandy replied.  
  
"Ha, we'll see," Kirsten said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Ryan just happened to be closest to the door when Starla walked through the open door, glancing around nervously.  
  
"Hey," he greeted. "You look great," he added.  
  
And she did. Her shiny cream gown had a slit up the side showing off one of her legs and her blonde hair was layered over her shoulders.  
  
"Thanks, you too," she beamed.  
  
"Uh, I got you some flowers, they're in my room," he said. He wasn't even wearing his jacket yet and picked it up off the bed before getting the bouquet off the dresser and handing it to her.  
  
"God, you're sweet," she said.  
  
"I'm trying to make a good impression," he smiled.  
  
She smelled the flowers, smiling. "Nobody's ever got me flowers before. Not even for these fancy parties. Thanks."  
  
"Come on, we can't be in here too long before Kirsten will come looking for us," Ryan said.  
  
She linked arms with him without his encouragement.  
  
Obviously the flowers had been a good idea.  
  
"Who are we still waiting for?" Caleb asked when they walked into the kitchen.  
  
Ryan had never seen the man nervous before, but he was definitely nervous.  
  
"Hailey," Kirsten answered.  
  
"Guys, this is Starla," Ryan introduced.  
  
"Hi, honey, it's good to see you," Kirsten greeted her.  
  
He forgot sometimes that everyone in Newport knew everyone else.  
  
Hailey walked in, looking more stunning that a family member should and surprised them all by walking over to Trey and kissing him hard on the lips. "I'm here," she said, smiling at Caleb when she pulled away and left his brother stricken.  
  
"Oh. Well. Yes. Shall we go? I don't want to be late for my own party," Caleb said, blinking at her in shock. "You and..."  
  
"Yes, Daddy," Hailey grinned.  
  
"Oh. Well. Yes. Let's go," he said, straightening his shoulders.  
  
"What was all that about?" Starla whispered.  
  
"I'll fill you in on the way," Ryan replied. This was definitely going to be an interesting night.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
"I've never seen you nervous before."  
  
Caleb smiled when he recognized Ryan stepping out from behind the trees where Caleb had retreated to get his head together.  
  
He loved Renee, but marriage was a step that he hadn't planned on taking again. He hoped she'd take his ring, that she'd want to marry him.  
  
"Who says I'm nervous?" Caleb said.  
  
Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. "Renee's looking for you. You're not thinking of backing out, are you? Because if you are, you should leave now before she tracks you down."  
  
"I'm not chickening out. I'm just gathering my thoughts. What do you think, kid? Is this a bad idea?"  
  
"She makes you happy and I think you make her happy, too," Ryan said. "Don't chicken out if you love her."  
  
"I love her," Caleb said quietly. "I think I always have."  
  
"Then let's go in," Ryan said. "Am I seriously having to give you a pep talk, Caleb?"  
  
"Instead of talking about me and Renee, why don't you tell me about Trey and Hailey?" Caleb smiled, putting his arm around his grandson and walking toward the club.  
  
"I don't think that's my story to tell," Ryan said.  
  
Caleb laughed. "Go on back to your date while I find mine."  
  
"Good luck," Ryan said, patting him on the back and disappearing into the dining room.  
  
He spotted Renee talking with Kirsten and Sandy by the bar and straightened his jacket a final time before heading over.  
  
"There you are," Renee smiled, accepting his hug and kiss of welcome. "You know I hate going to these things without you around to field the questions."  
  
"Sorry, I needed some air," Caleb said, not responding to Kirsten's curious glance. "Can I speak to you?"  
  
"Sure," Renee said, letting him guide her to their seats at the table. "What's going on?"  
  
He was aware of the people watching them, but from what he could tell, Renee had no idea about his proposal.  
  
But if she said no, the party would probably not be as big of a hit.  
  
"You know how I feel about you, Renee. These past few months have been some of the best times of my life..." he paused to clear his throat. Being romantic had never been his forté.  
  
"I love you, Renee. Will you marry me?" he asked, pulling out the velvet box.  
  
She gasped and put her hand over her mouth, but didn't miss a beat and picked up the box with her free hand.  
  
"Caleb...I don't know what to say..." she whispered, gasping again when she opened the box. Her eyes were shining with tears when she looked up at him and wrapped her arms around him. "Yes..."  
  
"Yes?" he asked, hoping he'd heard her correctly.  
  
"Yes," she nodded, kissing him as the clusters of nosy Newpsies erupted in applause.  
  
This would be a good party after all.  
  
\-------- - --------  
  
  
"Congratulations, Miss Renee," Seth said, shaking Renee's hand politely. "Ryan made me promise not to call you Grandma," he added mischievously.  
  
"Hey!" Ryan protested, but Renee was laughing.  
  
"I appreciate that, Seth," she said.  
  
Starla was grinning, too and he was really happy with the way things were going. She fit nicely in his arms and didn't seem to mind the forced family time.  
  
"Did you know about this?" Renee asked Lindsay as she walked over with Zach and Taylor.  
  
"Maybe," Lindsay answered, not hiding her smile and hugging her mom warmly.  
  
"He asked for her blessing, it was really sweet," Taylor chimed in.  
  
"Did you get out of the grounding yet?" Zach asked as Lindsay and Renee stepped away to chat and Seth scurried off to find Summer.  
  
"Not yet, but I think I've sucked up pretty well today so I'm going to test the waters in a little while," Ryan said, catching Starla's smile.  
  
"Come on, let's go harass the DJ before he starts playing," Taylor said, snagging Starla and Zach in her mission and leaving him to find Kirsten.  
  
He saw her talking with Jimmy and knew he'd have a better chance of getting parole with his father there.  
  
It was such a stark contrast to the old days when he'd have to shake his mom out of a drunken stupor to get her to talk to him. Kirsten was nothing like Dawn.  
  
It still hurt to think of all the years that she didn't look for him, but he forgave her. She loved him and took care of him and he couldn't ignore that. She was his mom and unlike Dawn, she actually loved him. He loved her back.  
  
"Hey, kid, where's Starla?" Jimmy asked, patting him on the back.  
  
"Taylor needed her for something," Ryan replied.  
  
"She seems like a very nice girl and I think she likes you," Kirsten said.  
  
"Yeah, I like her, too. Thanks for letting me bring her tonight," he said.  
  
Kirsten smiled, reading his face. "Go ahead and ask."  
  
"Can we hang out after the party? We'll double date with Lindsay and Zach or go to a party with lots of people – whatever you let us do," Ryan replied. "Fully clothed, PG-rated fun." He glared at Jimmy when he snorted.  
  
"Home by midnight, and stick to PG and you can go. But let me know your plans before you disappear," she conceded.  
  
He felt like squeeing like Taylor but restrained himself, settling for a grateful hug.  
  
"Thanks, Mom," he said, releasing her. "I'll go make some plans."  
  
He was looking forward to having some down time with Starla and he hoped that he could control his libido long enough to make a new connection.  
  
\-------- - --------  
  
  
Jimmy watched Kirsten for a reaction but she sipped her champagne and watched Ryan walk away as if everything was normal. "Did you hear that?"  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"He called you 'mom'," Jimmy said.  
  
Her face dawned with realization and she broke into an emotional smile. "Oh..."  
  
"Congratulations," he said, giving her a hug.  
  
"I think he's finally settled into his life here..." she said, wiping tears when he released her.  
  
"I still don't know how we got by without him. He's a great kid," Jimmy said.  
  
Kirsten gave him a sympathetic smile. "He loves you, Jimmy."  
  
"I know. I'll have my turn eventually, you've given me hope for that now," he winked at her.  
  
"Are you making my wife cry?" Sandy accused, concerned.  
  
"No, Sandy. Ryan called me 'Mom'," she confided.  
  
Sandy smiled, embracing her. "I was wondering when that would happen."  
  
"He slipped it in, I don't think she even noticed," Jimmy teased.  
  
"I wonder if he noticed," Sandy said.  
  
\-------- - --------  
  
  
Trey was hovering by the exit, wondering if anyone would miss him if he stepped outside for a smoke.  
  
He was impressed by his baby brother's comfort in the rich people's party but it only drove home the fact that Ryan belonged in this world.  
  
He didn't, not really, but he didn't feel as out of place with Hailey by his side. She was busy talking with a cluster of Newpsies by the bar and he took his chance and stepped outside.  
  
He liked Hailey. A lot. He might even love her. But this wasn't his world.  
  
"Not running out on me, are you?" Hailey's arms slipped around his waist like a snake. A hot, sexy snake.  
  
"Just needed a break from the 'gala'," he said as she settled her chin on his shoulder and her hands over his stomach.  
  
"I hate these things. But Dad and Renee seem to be happy and I'm glad to have somebody cool by my side."  
  
"You think I'm cool?" Trey smiled.  
  
"When you're not brooding in the shadows, yeah. Thanks."  
  
"For what?" he asked, confused.  
  
"For being my date. For facing the gauntlet of rich snobs. It means a lot to me."  
  
He felt a warmth he didn't recognize filling him for this woman. God, Ryan was going to make so much fun of him.  
  
"You ready to get out of here?" he asked, tossing his cigarette and turning around to kiss her.  
  
"Absolutely. Let's go say our goodbyes and get you out of that suit and inside me," Hailey whispered sultrily, pulling him close.  
  
\-------- - --------  
  
  
Kirsten kissed Seth on the cheek as he took Julie's hand to walk to their car.  
  
It was such a change from when Seth was too sick to be in public for fear of germs. A change from when she hated Julie Cooper's guts and thought she was a gold-digging bitch. A change from when she only had one son in her life.  
  
"Seth's gone with the girls to Jimmy's," she told Sandy when she recognized his arm around her.  
  
"So we can have some private time tonight since you let Ryan out of his sentence," he teased.  
  
Private time sounded nice. "That sounds like a plan," she giggled, kissing him.  
  
Sandy pulled away, blushing when Ryan cleared his throat from behind them.  
  
"We were going to head over to Zach's if everything's still a go for my parole," Ryan said. He was holding Starla's hand and she was visibly smitten.  
  
She wondered how long he could stay celibate this time. He tried so hard. She hoped Seth would be easier to keep 'pure'.  
  
"Home by midnight," she reminded, smiling at Starla.  
  
"I won't let him turn into a pumpkin," Starla smiled, pulling him from the room.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Sandy asked.  
  
"I'm thinking about how much I love you," she said, putting her arms around him. "I love my family and I love my life and I owe all of that to you. You're a wonderful man, Sandy Cohen, you're forgiving and smart and sexy and damned good in bed and I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."  
  
Sandy's eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he leaned in for a kiss. "I love you, too, Kirsten. Let's go home and enjoy our big empty house until our boys come home."  
  
\-------- - --------   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Best of luck to you, MM, hope you will be home and comfy soon!


End file.
